Pain is pain is pain....No, it's not

[fimbrethil]

Many of my friends are going through tough times these days and so have I. I've been thinking about loss and grieving and emotional pain and some things that I discussed with people a while back. Saying pain is pain simplifies things too much. Pain, emotionally speaking, is not the same for everyone. We all have different backgrounds, different

Comments

[fimbrethil]

I'm sorry. No one should lose their father that young.

[kineticphoenix]

That's a beautiful, thought-provoking post. Thank you.

[fimbrethil]

Thank you. It's been rattling around in my brain for quite some time.

[trinker]

<3

[fimbrethil]

:)

[irontongue]

I really appreciate the nuance in your comments. I agree strongly with you that "pain is pain" oversimplifies and compresses an extremely complex emotional range.

[fimbrethil]

Thank you.

I agree that it's a lot more complicated than people sometimes realize.

[batsonian]

This was an excellent thing for me to read because I don't think I will ever get over something my mother said to me when my dad died. She said, "well, you kids lost your dad but I lost my husband." That was a shockingly defining moment in my relationship with her. My pain is greater than your pain. My struggles are more than your struggles. My stress is greater than your stress.

It doesn't make it any easier to deal with emotionally, but at least mentally I know that's what I'm going to get & while I do sometimes still hope for support I'm not at all surprised when what I'm met with is, "well, it could be worse!"

[fimbrethil]

I'm sorry. They are two losses that really can't be compared, IMO. Losing a spouse is so different than losing a parent but I don't think one trumps the other. They are equally painful in their own way.

I think I understand where you are coming from. I'm sorry you don't get the support you need.

I hate when people say "Well, look on the bright side, it can't get worse!" Oh no? Think again. It could ALWAYS be worse.