Comments | fic_the_faith: FIC FOR SCORCH66

hyphen_chan in fic_the_faith

FIC FOR SCORCH66

Mar 26, 2014 22:33

For: scorch66
From: alienashi

Title: in parallel futures, in untold pasts
Pairings/Characters: Kame/Nakamaru
Rating: PG
Warnings: Mafia AU, quasi-dystopian, and er, some kind of angst (ymmv, but I'm afraid I might have overdone it?)
Notes: Dear scorch66, this is really awkward, because I didn't expect to get you in my first ever exchange, so I stalked a lot of the past ( Read more... )

rated: pg, p: kame/nakamaru, year: 2014, ! fic

Comments 4

akame_koi13 March 26 2014, 20:21:09 UTC

Wow. This was just so… intense. I love how Nakamaru and Kame's relationship worked, and all the unspoken words were just so… gosh! I am completely speechless.
I also absolutely adored Junno's POV at the end, how he talks about what happened to Maru and Kame and the ideas about history. I would love for everything to be clearer, or a sequel, but I have to admit the vagueness has its charm and adds to the feel of the entire fic. In short, I love you for this!!!

scorch66 March 27 2014, 02:10:44 UTC

Anon, omg, I am getting teary-eyed in real life. I savoured all your words, slowly and preparing my heart for the worst, and then at the very end, I played the song you linked and everything came crashing in. Kame, lonely at the top, still a child, protected and inflated into something that he's not, doesn't want to be, but can't escape. And he meets Nakamaru and Nakamaru loves him but can never tell him so.

He takes a palm in his and puts it close to his heart. Calm it, he asks.
My heart, anon. This scene. With them standing and listening to the clock--the tic-tock of the inevitable. They both know.
“Stay with me, Yuichi.” Kame asks but they both know he won't. And Kame's desperation through it all--his frustration with himself, his fear that Yuichi leaving him will mean that he'll have to kill him and in the end, he can't. He won't. He loves him even when Nakamaru betrays him. He lets Nakamaru go, erases his memories, writes his wishes in books that Nakamaru won't ever be around to read. He lets Nakamaru go and sentences himself ( ... )

alternatejess April 5 2014, 11:15:44 UTC

Beautiful beautiful story. Also sad. But mostly beautiful.

Then again, only in fiction does a story of the Mafia world have a happy ending.

Oh wait this is fiction.

I don't know what I am talking about anymore. So how about a more normal comment?

I really liked the ending where you used Taguchi as the narrator to finish up the story. Also of course, I love the world you built and I like how we all know that Yuichi was gonna to betray Kame, but I think you built it up very nicely. So yeah, I really like the story.

pineappleribbon June 14 2014, 00:21:36 UTC

It was so wonderful and awesome. Beautiful and sad. You bave a great hability to write, because the vagueness you used to describe this world is perfect, you can live it even without so much details and thats beautiful. You can see the moment everything, all the pieces fit. It was really great to read. NaKame is my otp and i'm happy to see such a awesome fanfic with them. The love they have for each other even if it dont have many words and encounters. Is so beautiful that I had the wish to cry at the ending. Also the way you describe the characters. Kame was such a intersting one, with such a power since a kid even if he dont have a choice. And even like this, he was really a great boss, I can imagine his determinate look. But you can see he wanted what all people want and enjoy life, play baseball in the university. And just because of that, he met Yuichi. I had to say their meeting was really really cute, all the words and what you made us imagine. Just like their love. I loved all the words all occult implications of their ( ... )