amber gris - "sinker" translation

[fic_sci]

From 「上空８０００ｆｔ-少年は天国へ届くのか-」

Words: temari
Music: kaname

Kanji:
sinker

溜息を慣れた薬で飲み下している日々に、
推量る言葉に、
君は黙ったままだ。

抗う様に、脆く笑った
雨に沈む紫陽花の様だ。

重なる指の約束も
またね。と振ったてのひらも
嘘を爪弾く君の歌
悲しくなるから。

まるで呼吸の術、忘れて
足掻く魚。憐れ。
推察の視線は
僕の見透かす様だ。

吸めど掬えど、枯れない水面
歪んだ顔写し込んで。

『涙の国は案外傍にあるものね』なんて
その皮肉は、嫌えない。

重なる指の約束も
またね。と振ったてのひらも、

剥離していく代償に何を得るのだろう？

Translation:
sinker

In the days when you had gotten used to sighs by

Comments

[anonymous]

lovely translation. i'd only suggest that you change "piled up" to "intertwined" or maybe "so many" since piled up always sounds really awkward in english, imo. i know it's not the most literal choice but i think it fits a bit more, maybe.

:)

happy holidays.

[anonymous]

like "so many promises of fingers intertwined" or "so many finger promises" kasanaru is a weird verb to translate into english! sorry for all the comments. i always come up with something to add after i finish, lol.

[fic_sci]

That's okay ^^ I like your ideas, thanks for commenting! I'm actually still quite confused whether "kasanaru" applies to the fingers or the finger promises. Is "kasanaru yubi" a common phrase to express "intertwined fingers"? Because I don't know, lol ^^; . I guess if I change it into "intertwining fingers promises" or "overlapping fingers promises" maybe it can still be open to either of the 2 interpretations. What do you think?

[anonymous]

i honestly have no idea! i'm just working from normal definitions. if only we could just ask temari :PP. anyway, since it's "no", i think it could be "the promises of our fingers intertwined" but it's a really vague line and it may be better to just leave it the way it is. i think it has a certain uncertain quality that fits with temari's style. here's my lame interpretation of that stanza or w/e.

And the promises of our fingers intertwined
"See you later"
and our palms swing about

i know it sounds awkward, but i'm hardly a translator. LOL.

Hello my friends

[anonymous]

Hello, I new yours frient on this forum)