I'm a fangirl without a fandom.

[fera_festiva]

So I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the nature of being a fangirl and about being into a fandom and how it feels and what it does to you. This came about because I was trying to explain to my sister and her boyfriend what it is to be a fan, because they were asking the kind of questions I often get asked by my family, like "Are you still

Comments

[spacefragments]

BUT WHAT ABOUT ZELDA?

more elaborate comment later, i prooooomise

[fera_festiva]

I used to play Zelda with my brother, dude, are you sick

(Uh. I think this might be the point it no longer makes sense.)

[spacefragments]

ahahaha. zelda? first serious relationship with a guy who was GREAT but eventually deciding we worked better as best friends with benefits. sometimes we get together to have sex, but mostly we sit down and have a drink and chat

[fera_festiva]

i spent too much time at the end trying to make it work for the kids

LOLOLOLOLOLOL. But yes. I know exactly what you mean. It's like, you don't want to be the one to admit it's over. XD

it's been a bit over a year, and it's going GREAT, but i'm afraid it will be a repeat of hp after a couple more years.

To carry on the metaphor, you just love going out with bad guys. :P Alternatively, you had your heart stomped on and now you can't ~*let love in.*~ Give your heart over before it's too late, bb. XD

[meewunk]

OH my goodness <3 That bit about Torchwood is spot on. Seriously.

And if we're going with the relationship analogy, then I am a shameless hussy who gives no preference to one fandom over another. One day I'm up to my neck in Star Trek, the next day gobbling up all the Supernatural and Inception fic I can find. Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings I keep in my cell for the occasional hookup. Sherlock fandom is for the times in between the rest of it. And then I have so many others that I can't quite keep them all straight.

e: And how can I even forget about Zelda and Mass Effect. Those are always fun too. I am a fickle and flighty lover it seems.

edit the second: I broke up with Supernatural for awhile. But then I forgave them and came back.

[fera_festiva]

Woah, Meewunk, you're a slut. XD XD XD

... Seriously though, you make a good point about being fickle and flightly. I've always been something of a fandom monogamist who is now just starting to experiment and it sort of never occurred to me that others might be more... polyamorous, let's say. :P

I love fans. ♥

[meewunk]

I involve myself as my whims see fit. I come and go as the winds blow and it suits me just fine ;D

[fera_festiva]

You remind me of Carmen (as in the opera). "Love is a rebellious bird, that nothing can tame..." ♥

[lefaym]

♥ ♥ ♥

I know we were discussing this last night, but I'll say it again for the sake of anyone who might be reading and DESPERATE TO KNOW MY FANDOM HISTORY.

So, I had several of those high school crush type pre-fandoms (or even primary school in a couple of cases -- the Baby Sitters Club and Ninja Turtles) -- things I wanted to be fannish for, but didn't really know how, because I didn't have the community. Lois and Clark was the big one in high school for me, and I'm still very fond if it. I grew out of it eventually, but it gave me many happytiems

[fera_festiva]

First of all - I wanna say, I love the word slut used in a positive sense. So go right ahead. Let's all be fandom sluts. Fuck it, let's all be sluts, full stop! I wish I was more of a slut. :D

It's really difficult to break away from that, even when you know it's turned unhealthy. You spend a lot of time hoping that it was all some horrible joke, that something can be done to fix it, and it really truly is a horrible experience to go throughOh, absolutely. I've kept this post and my responses fairly tongue in cheek for the most part, but I completely agree - it is awful. The flipside of being effectively in love with something is that it can break your heart. And while obviously a TV show or a book can't actually manipulate you into staying involved in any deliberate way, I think being so intimately wrapped up in loving it can make it really difficult to step away if it does hurt you

[forest_rose]

I ♥ this post so much. My fandom history is much the same as my relationship history - I get so very intense about it all. My first fandom, when I didn't even know fandom existed at all, was a band fandom that I shared with just one other person. I actually still can't talk about it, even to the point where I don't want to say what the band was - it's not embarrassing or anything, just intensely personal. I don't know if that makes any sense at all. Anyway, that was pretty much all of the 90s, and I still have that nostalgic first-love feeling about it. There is no way I could go looking for fic (and I'm sure it exists) - it would be like finding someone you loved in bed with someone else. OMG, I sound insane

[fera_festiva]

it's not embarrassing or anything, just intensely personal

Oh god, yes, I absolutely know what you mean. I think I'm the same - I never wanted to tell anyone about my crushes, and now I get very funny about telling non-fandom people - even people I'm really close with - about my fandoms or, especially, my ships.

It's not the burning passion it was at the start, but it's comfortable and it makes me happy, for the most part.

Don't they say that moving from passion into companionship is what makes a successful marriage? :P

[forest_rose]

They do! Maybe it's appropriate that my fandom feelings are developing in this way when I'm getting married IRL ♥

[o_deanna]

You are a genius. This is an absolute work of art and I am proud to call you my friend.

You are so unbelievably spot on. With everything, the difference between music fandom and other fandoms. All of it. Every single word.

Yeah, Red Dwarf and I were totally childhood sweethearts too, and it felt like it would last forever. I remember taking the videos with me on holiday, even though I knew there was no video player, just because I couldn't bear to be parted from them. I was lucky that in school there were two other girls who obsessed over it too. And we had a character each, I had Rimmer - my choice, shut up, I really need to scan in my diary to share with you, it is something to behold. Anyway, Red Dwarf ended up being an idiot and disappointing me in front of the whole class and I was embarrassed that everyone knew we'd been dating. (I'm spotting a pattern with my fandoms here). I grew up.

I wrote self insert fanfic for Dad's Army, which I shan't even dignify with a relationship analogy. Let's just say I had it bad for Pike and

[o_deanna]

I feel exactly the same way as you about Harry Potter and Merlin and I'm in a very similar place right now.

My problem is that my current fandom would be Battlestar Galactica. But it's over, it's dead and I can't even hunt for any kind of fandom post because I'm scared of finding spoilers. It was the same with Twin Peaks if they were airing now I would be squeeing and speculating and shipping. As it stands poor old Jim and Jamie (who has already seen the whole thing) have to listen to me whine about my couples being split up and my weird crushes on bald old men and "omg, what if this happens?"

I'm the same as you with Supernatural too. I'm really enjoying it, but the ship has sailed! I'm only on Season Two. It's so sad that fandom is so active, but I can't be a part of it.

And then there's Mass Effect and Dragon Age fandom, which I have to stay away from because the fanfic is mainly bad. And I feel kinda jealous, because I ship the characters with ME! So I don't want to read about them getting it on with someone else's character, y

[forest_rose]

If I needed more evidence that you and I are soulmates, the Dad's Army Pike-crushing self-insert fic would be it. I thought I was the only one! ♥

[fera_festiva]

This synchronicity is both hilarious and adorable.