the goose explains the value of a fine education;

[fathergander]

Listen up, all you miscreants of academia: your education is a privilege. A privilege that many of you certainly don't deserve, but that you've somehow been given anyways, and for God's sake, I expect you to take advantage of this karmic oversight and do everything you can to at least graduate. Your professors are learned men whom you should take

Comments

[tookeen]

[fathergander]

That's not a vendetta. Everyone hates the Scottish people.

[tookeen]

[fathergander]

Of course we do.

How else are we supposed to respond to haggis and the convention of hairy men in dresses? You've practically begged for our disdain.

[diamonddrop]

I promise I won't use this in class, Professor Anser. I always pay close attention.

[fathergander]

[...]

I know you do, Pearl. Very good.

[tookeen]

Do you like her more than me?

[fathergander]

I like dental surgery more than you.

[givinggifts]

"Miscreants of Academia" is possibly the best turn of phrase I've heard in a while. It sounds like an artsy rock band. Unfortunately, going to retrieve wayward Compendiums doesn't sound like nearly as much fun as going to The Bitter End to catch a show.

River.

[fathergander]

That's a correlation I can understand; most of my stress is caused by cancers. Walking, talking, lunatic cancers upon society.

[a moment in which Anser is actually mildly uncomfortable]

No. Thank you.

[maddiemuffet]

Learned men of wisdom, right, right. Would that explain why my psych Professor wanders in with mustard stains on his pants, and spends the first ten minutes of the lecture talking about his ex-wife?

You managed to answer your phone yet, Oh Learned One? Or is it still in the office-that-smells-of-burnt-shit?

[fathergander]

Alright, the psych department is exempt. We all know that psychologists are just people who couldn't make it as real doctors, and psych professors are the ones who couldn't even make it as that.

People have just stopped calling. Thankfully.

[maddiemuffet]

And yet, it'll be a psychiatrist who scrapes what's left of your brain together, and proscribes the medication that makes you social enough to be dealt with.