It's annoying I can't tell if I'm really fat or just imagining. I'm guessing I am actually fat and imagining the problem to be even worse since I imagine things. Not sure...
It's not my weight that is the problem, just the way it is proportioned.

I weighed 109 this morning. I know I'm dehydrated, but whatever. I had a horrible hangover at first, took some medicine and went back to bed. My upper body looks really skinny, boney even, but my lower body still needs a lot of work. I mean, my legs are smaller, but I really do carry a lot of weight there ( Read more... )

I went walking today for like an hour. I feel weird walking outside because I'm so self-conscious and I don't like talking to strangers. I tried on some old pants today, and a couple that didn't fit before (size 3) now fit, although they don't look good because they're too tight. I was planning to maybe jog, but it started storming.

I'm trying not to eat today. I still don't have a job. I don't understand why nobody wants me to work for them. I'm going to go apply at subway and blockbuster this evening. I hope I get a job, I reallly need one.

I ate sooo much today. I had a huge lunch at denny's with lots of french fries, ribs for dinner, and I just ate part of a pastry and some crackers and cheese, and some wings. I'm just glad I didn't really binge. It's funny, Id on't even consider all that food anywhere close to binging. It seems I just don't care anymore.

I had a baked potato, 3 slices of American cheese, and some chili from Wendy's. 670 calories. I'm going to try not to eat anymore, although I may have some drinks later on.
I'm back up to 121.
I have around 15 lbs I want to lose, but it's always easier in the summer.

I have come to realize that my diet is so unhealthy that I am actually addicted to certain foods, particularly sugary foods, or cheese ( Read more... )

I look sooo gross. I hate it.
Tiny boobs.
Paunchy stomach.
Thunder thighs.
It wouldn't be so bad if I was in shape, or if I had bigger boobs, but this is just unacceptable. I've got to fix this.

Alright, so I was 113.2 after thanksgiving dinner (and purging ( Read more... )

Ugh, not looking forward to thanksgiving. But whatever. I binged tonight and purged just a little and ended up as 115 in clothes. Which seems like a lot for lately, but I'm stuck anyways. I'm going to have to start exercising, seriously.