Replacement & Perfection
Drabbles
Pairing: Kyuhyun/Sungmin
Warning: probably grammar errors, perhaps confusing
Replacement
First time I saw you joining Super Junior, I despised you. My impression was only that you were merely an addition. You were nothing more than a walking skeleton who wanted to be an idol just because of your look.
First time I heard you singing, the impression faded quickly. You possessed awesome voice and technique. Even though I tried my best to deny it, I realized that I had been your fan boy, your voice’s fan boy to be exact. I used to be the third lead vocal, but soon, I knew you would replace me. Playing a fair game, I accepted it.
First time I saw you dancing, I nearly laughed. God, you were awful!
First time I made you laughing, I frowned. You rarely showed your emotion. Even Eunhae gave up joking with you. Yet with a simple comment I threw, you chuckled. That night, we talked about many things. It was quite fun. I found out that you weren’t at all a quiet boy. You talked even more than I did. You were just not used to strangers.
First time I saw you crying, I did nothing. You hugged your knees tight on your bed, face hidden on pillows. I knew you were just being scolded by the teacher for still lacking at dancing. So I just turned off the lamp and went to sleep, giving you all privacy to cry alone.
First time I kissed, it was with you. You confessed that you liked me and you kissed me. I melted, really. I couldn’t say anything. But I nodded faintly, and we became lovers, or so I thought.
There were so many ‘first time’ I through with you. Unfortunately, there were always changes in the ‘next time’.
You became the lead vocal, as I guessed. They even formed a sub-group of KRY, clearly rejecting me out.
Your dance skill got better and better. When Hangeng left, was it wrong of me to wish I could be one of lead dancer in Bonamana? But they chose you. I wondered if this was because you literally danced better than I did.
You laughed a lot now, a bit too much I thought. You made jokes in reality show. You pleased everyone with your wittiness. In some cases, I felt like I was stranger to you. And it hurt.
When you cried, you didn’t stay alone in your room. You didn’t come to me either. Instead, you sought for comfort in Eeteuk, or Donghae, or anyone but me.
There was a time I saw you kissing Zhoumi and I knew I meant no more for you. I doubted if you even had feelings for me. Maybe for you, I was just the ‘first one’ too. But you found the others later to be better, so you replaced me.
I was replaced in everything. And now I felt like I was the addition. Super Junior without Lee Sungmin would be still Super Junior. But without Cho Kyuhyun, it collapsed.
-End-
Perfection
Since the very first time, my eyes had settled on you. Your look, your voice, your dancing skills, everything about you just captured my attention. In my eyes, you were perfect. I fell for you. I wished I could be with you. But then I realized I was no where close to perfection.
I lacked at dancing, and I had done more practice. I trained my voice too so I could be one of the lead vocalists. I had tried to loose the awkwardness I felt with my bandmates and talked and laughed more, like the way suggested it. Everything I did just so I could be closer to you.
I didn’t know what went wrong. It really hurt when we thought finally we had reached what we desired for long, it had gone. Like you. I was sure I wasn’t hallucinating when I saw you nodded. I thought we were lovers. But then you’re gone.
I had reached my goal to perfection. I had become the lead vocal, although that would mean I replaced you. I had been good in dancing, proved by my contribution in the dance battle and my performance in Bonamana. Everyone had noticed that I was someone in Super Junior, that I existed. I refused to let you see my weakness, so I hid when I cried.
But you slowly disappeared from my eyesight, from my reach. I was so distressed with this until without realizing, I had let Zhoumi did his way to me. He kissed me, but I rejected him, of course, because my heart craved for you only.
You were always confusing, Sungmin, and it hurt me to know how lousy I was not to be able to understand you. What went wrong? Was it because the replacement? I wished I could tell you how I did this just because I wanted to be shining as bright as you did.
I wished I could convince you, that the only person who could replace you was only me, never Zhoumi, never anyone. At least in my heart, you were never replaced. Couldn’t you trust me and be contented enough?
I once heard you murmuring in the bathroom, how you felt like an addition. “Super Junior without Lee Sungmin would be still Super Junior. But without Cho Kyuhyun, it collapsed,” you said. How I wanted to add, “But without Lee Sungmin, Cho Kyuhyun collapsed.”
-End-
Pairing: Kyuhyun/Sungmin
Warning: probably grammar errors, perhaps confusing
Replacement
First time I saw you joining Super Junior, I despised you. My impression was only that you were merely an addition. You were nothing more than a walking skeleton who wanted to be an idol just because of your look.
First time I heard you singing, the impression faded quickly. You possessed awesome voice and technique. Even though I tried my best to deny it, I realized that I had been your fan boy, your voice’s fan boy to be exact. I used to be the third lead vocal, but soon, I knew you would replace me. Playing a fair game, I accepted it.
First time I saw you dancing, I nearly laughed. God, you were awful!
First time I made you laughing, I frowned. You rarely showed your emotion. Even Eunhae gave up joking with you. Yet with a simple comment I threw, you chuckled. That night, we talked about many things. It was quite fun. I found out that you weren’t at all a quiet boy. You talked even more than I did. You were just not used to strangers.
First time I saw you crying, I did nothing. You hugged your knees tight on your bed, face hidden on pillows. I knew you were just being scolded by the teacher for still lacking at dancing. So I just turned off the lamp and went to sleep, giving you all privacy to cry alone.
First time I kissed, it was with you. You confessed that you liked me and you kissed me. I melted, really. I couldn’t say anything. But I nodded faintly, and we became lovers, or so I thought.
There were so many ‘first time’ I through with you. Unfortunately, there were always changes in the ‘next time’.
You became the lead vocal, as I guessed. They even formed a sub-group of KRY, clearly rejecting me out.
Your dance skill got better and better. When Hangeng left, was it wrong of me to wish I could be one of lead dancer in Bonamana? But they chose you. I wondered if this was because you literally danced better than I did.
You laughed a lot now, a bit too much I thought. You made jokes in reality show. You pleased everyone with your wittiness. In some cases, I felt like I was stranger to you. And it hurt.
When you cried, you didn’t stay alone in your room. You didn’t come to me either. Instead, you sought for comfort in Eeteuk, or Donghae, or anyone but me.
There was a time I saw you kissing Zhoumi and I knew I meant no more for you. I doubted if you even had feelings for me. Maybe for you, I was just the ‘first one’ too. But you found the others later to be better, so you replaced me.
I was replaced in everything. And now I felt like I was the addition. Super Junior without Lee Sungmin would be still Super Junior. But without Cho Kyuhyun, it collapsed.
-End-
Perfection
Since the very first time, my eyes had settled on you. Your look, your voice, your dancing skills, everything about you just captured my attention. In my eyes, you were perfect. I fell for you. I wished I could be with you. But then I realized I was no where close to perfection.
I lacked at dancing, and I had done more practice. I trained my voice too so I could be one of the lead vocalists. I had tried to loose the awkwardness I felt with my bandmates and talked and laughed more, like the way suggested it. Everything I did just so I could be closer to you.
I didn’t know what went wrong. It really hurt when we thought finally we had reached what we desired for long, it had gone. Like you. I was sure I wasn’t hallucinating when I saw you nodded. I thought we were lovers. But then you’re gone.
I had reached my goal to perfection. I had become the lead vocal, although that would mean I replaced you. I had been good in dancing, proved by my contribution in the dance battle and my performance in Bonamana. Everyone had noticed that I was someone in Super Junior, that I existed. I refused to let you see my weakness, so I hid when I cried.
But you slowly disappeared from my eyesight, from my reach. I was so distressed with this until without realizing, I had let Zhoumi did his way to me. He kissed me, but I rejected him, of course, because my heart craved for you only.
You were always confusing, Sungmin, and it hurt me to know how lousy I was not to be able to understand you. What went wrong? Was it because the replacement? I wished I could tell you how I did this just because I wanted to be shining as bright as you did.
I wished I could convince you, that the only person who could replace you was only me, never Zhoumi, never anyone. At least in my heart, you were never replaced. Couldn’t you trust me and be contented enough?
I once heard you murmuring in the bathroom, how you felt like an addition. “Super Junior without Lee Sungmin would be still Super Junior. But without Cho Kyuhyun, it collapsed,” you said. How I wanted to add, “But without Lee Sungmin, Cho Kyuhyun collapsed.”
-End-