Beauty & Fear
Drabble
Pairing: Kyuhyun/Sungmin
Warning: Character Death, probably grammar errors
A/N: This is actually a Karasu/Kurama fic I wrote days ago, but I decided to make Kyumin's version as well, because I miss writing Kyumin xDDD I realized my writing became creepier than I've ever been ;__; so sorry for the failure.. On hiatus until June! Exam's coming T.T
Beauty
One word, one simple noun, rarely existed but can be found in perhaps everything. You can find it in summer, where the flowers are blossoming and shining in the heat of sunshine. You can find it in the smiles of little children. You can find it in the gesture of royal princess. You can find it in the saying of a wise man. You can find it in the happiness of your lover. But as simple as it seems, it’s complicated, because beauty is relative.
For me, a beauty can only be found in two conditions, natural and eternal. And I find them only in death. I guess this is one of the reasons why I have this opinion of, “I enjoy killing what I love.”
I found something nearly perfection in Lee Sungmin, and how am I wrong to make it complete? I’ve learned how age can eat the beauty up, and I can’t even imagine Sungmin with wrinkles on his face. It’s better he die now, so his face remained perfect for eternity. And I wanted him to die in no one’s hands but mine.
People say what I feel isn’t what love is, instead, it’s only lust. At this, I gave no comment. I had no interest in naming my feelings. I only cared for what I thought right. Actually I wanted to be with him, but if I made that wish, the beauty he had would fade. Ignoring my feelings, ignoring his feelings, I would sacrifice anything for his eternal perfection.
Now tell me, how am I wrong? Why everyone, including Sungmin himself, call me sadistic and all? Even until my death, I was wondering. Dying in Sungmin’s hands made me slightly happy, still, but I was sad too that I wouldn’t be the one who ended his life. After the bullet penetrated my skin, as I fell onto the ground, I found myself wishing for the last time. What I really wanted at the moment was Sungmin to die too, so we could go to the heaven (or hell, most likely) together. Too bad, I’ve learned as well that every of my wish would never come true…
Fear
One word, one simple noun, rarely I felt but can come from perhaps everywhere. And currently I felt it every time I faced this person I knew was only interested in killing me. I was a paid murderer too, so it was expected that I better killed him first, right? But then again, I realized myself was in love with him. I hated how he was so sadistic even towards things and people he loved.
I really couldn’t understand his thoughts. What’s the purpose of perfection? Why did he so insist in giving me to death when clearly we both had other feeling, a mutual one called ‘love’, to share? I was hopeless, and I feared Kyuhyun. I was afraid he could break me into pieces because I loved him. It’s so complicated.
My friends say that what I feel isn’t what love is, instead, it’s only lust. At this, I could argue. If it wasn’t love, why would I care to find him when he’s not around? Why when once he didn’t go after me, I felt rejected? Why would I wish Kyuhyun not to be sadistic? Why would I hope he didn’t desire so much to kill me, so I could be with him and live happily ever after? Really, I could trade anything to grant that wish.
Even until the end, I was wondering what I felt towards Kyuhyun. I wanted to kill him yet I wanted him alive. I didn’t even think anymore as I pulled my gun’s trigger which I knew would take Kyuhyun’s life away. I watched him as he slowly falling down onto the ground, my heart aching. I found myself praying the wish I’d been having for long. What I really wanted at the moment was Kyuhyun not to die, but live a new life, with no will to kill me. Too bad, I’ve learned that none of my wish came true…
-End-
Pairing: Kyuhyun/Sungmin
Warning: Character Death, probably grammar errors
A/N: This is actually a Karasu/Kurama fic I wrote days ago, but I decided to make Kyumin's version as well, because I miss writing Kyumin xDDD I realized my writing became creepier than I've ever been ;__; so sorry for the failure.. On hiatus until June! Exam's coming T.T
Beauty
One word, one simple noun, rarely existed but can be found in perhaps everything. You can find it in summer, where the flowers are blossoming and shining in the heat of sunshine. You can find it in the smiles of little children. You can find it in the gesture of royal princess. You can find it in the saying of a wise man. You can find it in the happiness of your lover. But as simple as it seems, it’s complicated, because beauty is relative.
For me, a beauty can only be found in two conditions, natural and eternal. And I find them only in death. I guess this is one of the reasons why I have this opinion of, “I enjoy killing what I love.”
I found something nearly perfection in Lee Sungmin, and how am I wrong to make it complete? I’ve learned how age can eat the beauty up, and I can’t even imagine Sungmin with wrinkles on his face. It’s better he die now, so his face remained perfect for eternity. And I wanted him to die in no one’s hands but mine.
People say what I feel isn’t what love is, instead, it’s only lust. At this, I gave no comment. I had no interest in naming my feelings. I only cared for what I thought right. Actually I wanted to be with him, but if I made that wish, the beauty he had would fade. Ignoring my feelings, ignoring his feelings, I would sacrifice anything for his eternal perfection.
Now tell me, how am I wrong? Why everyone, including Sungmin himself, call me sadistic and all? Even until my death, I was wondering. Dying in Sungmin’s hands made me slightly happy, still, but I was sad too that I wouldn’t be the one who ended his life. After the bullet penetrated my skin, as I fell onto the ground, I found myself wishing for the last time. What I really wanted at the moment was Sungmin to die too, so we could go to the heaven (or hell, most likely) together. Too bad, I’ve learned as well that every of my wish would never come true…
Fear
One word, one simple noun, rarely I felt but can come from perhaps everywhere. And currently I felt it every time I faced this person I knew was only interested in killing me. I was a paid murderer too, so it was expected that I better killed him first, right? But then again, I realized myself was in love with him. I hated how he was so sadistic even towards things and people he loved.
I really couldn’t understand his thoughts. What’s the purpose of perfection? Why did he so insist in giving me to death when clearly we both had other feeling, a mutual one called ‘love’, to share? I was hopeless, and I feared Kyuhyun. I was afraid he could break me into pieces because I loved him. It’s so complicated.
My friends say that what I feel isn’t what love is, instead, it’s only lust. At this, I could argue. If it wasn’t love, why would I care to find him when he’s not around? Why when once he didn’t go after me, I felt rejected? Why would I wish Kyuhyun not to be sadistic? Why would I hope he didn’t desire so much to kill me, so I could be with him and live happily ever after? Really, I could trade anything to grant that wish.
Even until the end, I was wondering what I felt towards Kyuhyun. I wanted to kill him yet I wanted him alive. I didn’t even think anymore as I pulled my gun’s trigger which I knew would take Kyuhyun’s life away. I watched him as he slowly falling down onto the ground, my heart aching. I found myself praying the wish I’d been having for long. What I really wanted at the moment was Kyuhyun not to die, but live a new life, with no will to kill me. Too bad, I’ve learned that none of my wish came true…
-End-