A Blessing in Disguise, girl!Ed/girl!Ling
Title: A Blessing in Disguise
Author: vwl
Word Count: 6,712 <-I don't know how to write things that are short, I guess :|
Rating: R
Characters: girl!Ed/girl!Ling
Prompt: August 9 : girl!Ed/girl!Ling- when she planned to visit Xing, she hadn't planned on being involved in any assassination attempts, botched or otherwise. Girl!Ling, ever the optimist, tries to show Ed that things aren't so bad (Ed always was so very beautiful!).
Summary: Maybe getting stuck in the Imperial palace wasn't so bad after all.
Warnings: Explosions! Weird alchemy! Girl on girl action! Everything you have come to expect from Rydia Highwind.
Notes: Written for fma_slashfest. This is a post-manga AU where Ed and Ling have always been girls. Ed pretended to be a boy and stuff for a while, but most of the main cast of good guys knew she was really a girl. Ling is just...Ling with boobs, pretty much. :D Anyway, this is an AU because Ed still has automail and alchemy and all that good stuff, and because I switched Ed and Al's roles around at the end. Al went west and Ed went east, for the sake of this fic.
Dedication: This is a 'gift' for the wonderful bob_fish, as well as a fill of the prompt. :D;; NOT A COP OUT AT ALL.
When Edwina Elric had agreed to visit Xing in time for the festival to celebrate the ascension of the first Empress to rise to power in over a century, she had imagined a huge party with tons and tons of food, music, and a bunch of drunk Xingese people.
This was not meant to be, really.
The banquet hall was lavishly decorated in gold and red, embroidered dragons flying about the silk banners and wall hangings. The tables were made of a beautiful dark wood and were laden with platters filled with food that was all completely foreign to Ed but smelled incredible nonetheless. Golden lanterns decorated each table, glowing with an alkahestry-enhanced light within. Everyone present was dressed in ridiculous looking outfits that were all apparently Xing's form of fancy.
This, unfortunately, included Ed. There had been a bit of a fight between her and the seamstress assigned to make an outfit for Ed to wear, all through an irate interpreter, and Ed had lost. She was decked in some robe things with a satiny finish that was surprisingly comfortable but rather restrictive. She had tried to hide her automail with gloves, as most people in Xing weren't even familiar with automail, and had been given a severe tongue lashing for her efforts. Apparently, gloves were some sort of huge fashion taboo in Xing. Who knew? Then someone else had come to do her hair, which she had sat through, glowering at the wall the entire time. The end result of this was that Ed looked about as ridiculous as she felt.
In order to allow Ed into this sacred ceremony (since she was a foreigner and all), Ling had made her a part of the security detail. This was entirely baffling to Ed, as she stood near the raised platform from where Ling was to make a speech or something. How the hell was she supposed to be security if she couldn't damn well move?
Ran Fan, dressed in her typical all black, complete with her ceremonial mask, curtly informed Ed that the position was simply honorific, and that she didn't have to do anything. Stupid Ran Fan.
It had been a long while since Ed had seen Ling, and she missed the goofy princess more than she cared to admit. Their relationship had been born entirely of teenage hormones and four months of camping together, but it had grown into something more than that. They'd each made a heartfelt if not startlingly teenage girl-ish vow to remain true to each other before Ling had left for Xing and Ed had stayed to take care of Al. This was the first time they were getting together since then, and it seemed like it had been forever.
There was some quiet chattering going around the room while the guests waited for the new leader of Xing to arrive and make her speech. The food remained untouched for now; Ed supposed they had to wait until after the boring speech to eat. That was just going to make the speech even longer, she supposed.
Eventually, the servants started escorting people to their seats around the front of the raised platform Ed was hovering nearby. This was a good sign in Ed's estimation. At least it was until a servant tried to escort her to a seat, and she was unable to explain that she was part of the honor guard or whatever because the servant didn't speak Amestrian. Ed caught sight of Ran Fan, but she was busy directing guards and spies or something. Whatever. Ed did realize she was here for the show, not for the job, and it wasn't like she was going to be able to do any good anyway. She took her seat in the third row from the front with an air of annoyed resignation.
Once everyone was seated, a small band started playing some traditional Xingese music, and the grand double doors at the entrance to the hall were pulled open.
First came the dancing girls, garbed in black and red, and sprinkling flower petals along the way. Next came a procession of guards wearing Xingese military uniforms and wielding ceremonial swords. Then the music changed; everyone stood up from their seats, only to kneel on the floor in front of their chairs. Ed wasn't sure she could move enough to do this, but she managed something reasonably similar-not because she had any inclination to bow to Ling, but because she didn't want to be escorted into the palace jail or something.
When Ling appeared, Ed discovered that there was a better definition of the word 'ridiculous' when talking about clothing. Ling appeared to have picked several outfits and put them all on, one on top of the next. Her dress (dresses?) took up about three times as much room as she normally did. She had been done up to match the banquet hall. Or maybe the banquet hall had been done up to match her-who knew. At any rate, she was decked out in red and gold, down to the golden eye shadow and deep red lipstick. Her hairpiece gave her at least six more unnecessary inches and had tiny things dangling off of it that made a soft clinking noise when she moved.
Wow. Just...wow. Ed was so entranced by the weird getup that she forgot to bow her head when Ling walked by. Ling grinned and winked at her, and Ed somehow managed to refrain from flicking her off. That would almost certainly have her put in jail forever.
Ling made her slow way up to the front of the hall and up onto the pedestal, requiring aid from the dancing girls to successfully turn around without tripping on that stupid dress. She smiled out at the small audience gathered, and everyone picked themselves up off the floor and sat back in their seats. Ed was grateful she was able to get back up, mostly.
When Ling began speaking, Ed suddenly realized that this was going to be even worse than she had anticipated. Naturally, the speech was in Xingese.
Ed didn't speak more than six words in Xingese, and five of those words were curses.
Ling didn't use any of those words in her speech.
Well, for the two minutes that Ed listened, anyway. She was pretty sure those words would make the speech better, but she didn't really expect them to turn up. So instead of paying attention, she began to look out at the people assembled.
Most of these people were Xingese noblemen and women, probably the heads of the clans or something like that. There had been heavy security detail, and all of the guests had been staying in the palace for a week. Ling's position was a popular one, and everyone else wanted it. To give a speech or any public appearance like this was risky. There were guards posted everywhere, and there were probably a billion more that Ed couldn't see. It'd be suicide to try anything in here, but Ed was security detail (if only by title), so she figured she could be suspicious if she wanted to be.
Like that woman sitting three seats down to her right. She kept fiddling with her purse, like there was something inside of it that she wanted to get out. Or that man who kept coughing behind her. Or that woman in the next row, four seats down, who seemed to have her focus on the platform Ling was standing on rather than Ling herself.
Of course, the woman with the purse pulled out a small vial of perfume, which she discreetly applied before putting away again, and the man behind her, cleared his throat once and then seemed better. The woman in the second row, now, was fiddling with a pair of gloves.
Gloves?
Wait a minute.
The woman who had dressed Ed hadn't even needed to speak the same language as her for Ed to understand that gloves were a no-no for ladies of high status, she had been so adamant about it. There was something a bit odd about this. Ed continued to watch her for a moment, as she fidgeted with her gloves before pulling them on.
Ed didn't have a very good angle to see what she was doing, but one thing was clear-those weren't any ordinary gloves. From this distance, she could just make out the lines of an alkahestry circle on the palm of the woman's glove. What it did, Ed couldn't tell from here, and she wasn't familiar enough with alkahestry to identify all the symbols. On closer inspection, maybe, but the woman had already lowered her hands out of Ed's view entirely.
There were exactly zero plausible good reasons Ed could think of why someone would need alkahestry gloves in the middle of a speech. There were a host of bad ones, though. Ed liked to think that the security here was smart enough to look for circles like that, but a single pair of gloves would be easy to hide.
Ed wasn't really sure how to proceed. Of course, she couldn't be sure the woman had any nefarious plans; it was simply that every single sign pointed toward it. Ed glowered in Ran Fan's direction, trying to capture her attention, but Ran Fan didn't seem to notice. The woman in question was sitting too far away from Ed for her to be able to do anything without compromising the entire speech.
Well, speech be damned. If that lady was a threat-
The people on either side of Ed stood up suddenly, and Ling's voice became louder and more rousing. Ed jumped to her feet-the speech was about done, and everyone was standing supportively, raising their hands for a round of applause. If that woman with the gloves clapped-
She did, or at least Ed assumed she had, because the wave of alkahestry that resulted nearly knocked her off her feet. Someone screamed as the ground shook violently, and people began clambering toward the massive double doors. Ed pushed through the crowd, keeping her eyes on the glove woman. Ling would be attended to, she was sure, and the gloved woman was part of this. Ed wasn't about to let her escape the palace.
The woman was running for the exit like everyone else, the gloves suddenly nowhere to be seen. Ed raced after her, shoving people aside. She reached up, grabbing the back of the woman's dress. "Hey-"
The woman whirled around suddenly, her eyes narrowed and not at all questioning why she had been stopped. Without a word, she reached up and yanked one of the decorative stick things out of her hair, coming toward Ed with it. Ed was surprised by the move, though she didn't know what she'd been expecting, honestly, but she brought up her right arm just in time to parry the blow.
The stick was sharp, Ed discovered when she came at her again. Again, she was able to block the blow with her automail, but the edge of the stick lodged under the metal plate on her forearm. Ed pulled back, frowning as the feeling in her fingers suddenly quit, and it was this hesitation that cost her the battle. When she looked up, her assailant had the other stick from her hair, and, although she moved to block, her automail was too sluggish.
She gasped in surprise as the stick pierced her left shoulder, driving in underneath her collar bone and into her upper chest. The shock of the blow sent her to her knees almost immediately.
The woman turned to flee the scene once again, even as Ed hit the ground. Ed wasn't down for the count, though. Awkwardly, painfully, she managed to get her hands together, and then to snag the hem of the woman's dress as she ran for it. A moment later, she fell to the ground, her robes now binding her as well as any rope.
For a moment, Ed was aware solely of the blinding pain in her shoulder. She could feel the blood pounding in her ears, and her vision was wavering. For a moment, all she could think was, What a fucking stupid way to get killed...stabbed by a goddamn chopstick. Al's gonna be pissed when he hears about this.
There were ways around that whole dying thing; Ed had done it before, and she could do it again. If only she could think far enough to remember how she had done it last time.
But then there were people around her, someone calling her name, and-oh, hey, a country full of medical alchemists. Maybe she wouldn't have to transmute her own soul again after all. What a novel idea.
Ling's face came into view, frowning and saying something, but the words were strange in Ed's ears and she got the idea Ling wasn't actually talking to her. She wanted to say something to Ling, but then someone moved her slightly to lift her up. The motion sent a jolt of pain through her body so severe that she nearly blacked out. This was a great sign, really. Ling's hand closed around hers as she bit back a little moan of pain.
Another jolt. Ed squeezed her eyes shut. Maybe being unconscious for this wasn't too bad of an idea. Someone was lifting her up. She was a little leery about all of this taking place, strangers taking care of her, but she hardly had a choice in the matter. And besides, she could still feel Ling's hand wrapped around hers. She knew human anatomy well enough to know that the stab wound was dangerously close to her heart. No alchemy in the world was going to save her if they didn't take care of it soon.
But that's what they were doing, right? The world moved ominously as whoever was carrying her started moving, and Ed couldn't have remained conscious if she had wanted to.
--
Ling was in the hospital wing, standing outside of Ed's recovery room, when the safe room blew up.
The explosion rocked the floor slightly; the safe room was underground, and the explosion probably caused some structural damage, but the hospital wing was far enough away that the slight motion was the only side effect. When a guard ran in to inform the Empress what had happened, the advisor at Ling's right who had been avidly trying to convince her to go to the safe room paled considerably.
"That is where they expected me to go, I suppose," Ling commented tightly. Perhaps Ed had saved her life in more than one way today.
The alchemical attack in the banquet hall had been concentrated on the raised platform Ling had been standing on. If Ran Fan hadn't caught the nervous looks Ed had been giving her and had Ling step backwards away from the crowd, she would have been grievously injured at the very least. Right now, she had a few scratches, but she was alive and well.
Something occurred to her.
"Ran Fan," she said sharply.
Poor Ran Fan was exceptionally busy at the moment, being the captain of Ling's personal guard. But she immediately abandoned the guard she was lecturing and bowed to Ling. "My lady."
"The first attack was centered on where I was supposed to be standing. The second attack was in where I would have gone if I had escaped injury." Ling frowned intently. "Might they have planned for another contingency?"
Ran Fan caught her meaning immediately. She turned away without another word to Ling and addressed the same guard who had given them news about the safe room. "Have the Empress' personal medical wing emptied immediately. There may not be much time. Go."
"And my personal quarters," Ling added. Anywhere else she might be likely to go in the opinion of an assassin, really. The guard bowed and disappeared.
Ling had someone brought in to help her undress; the ceremonial robes she was wearing were restrictive and uncomfortable. Instead, she dressed in a much more practical (and thereby less conventional) outfit consisting of pants and a long tunic type shirt. She issued a number of orders from just outside of Ed's recovery room. No attack had been made on the Empress' private medical wing, but they had the entire area cleared out anyway, just in case. The pyrotechnics were coming in to look for a cause of the explosions. Architects were called to ensure the stability of the palace foundations. Food was brought in to keep the Empress from passing out.
And then, finally, a healer came out of Ed's room. "Your highness, she is stable," the healer said, bowing low.
Ling stood up, brushing off the advisors trying to get her opinion on something. "She's all right?"
"She hasn't woken up from the anesthesia just yet, but she should make a full recovery," the healer explained. "She has lost a good deal of blood, but the dagger mostly just pierced muscle. She is a very lucky woman."
In some ways, yes, Ed was a lucky woman. In most others, she wasn't. Ling simply nodded and invited herself into the recovery room.
It was a shame, really. Ed had looked so pretty all dolled up in traditional Xingese robes. Ling had specifically sent her meanest seamstress to dress Ed, knowing Ed was adverse to wearing anything that was remotely feminine. Someone had even done her hair and make up. Not only that, but the two years off from roaming the countryside and saving the world had done wonders for Ed's figure. Now that she had more than one ounce of body fat, she had developed a few soft curves. Nothing ample, really, but compared to how she had looked as a teenager, it was a significant difference.
Well, that was probably mostly to do with the fact that Ed had hidden every sign of her femininity for years when she was in the military. The fact that the famous Edward Elric was actually Edwina Elric was a secret from most of the world until that biography had come out a while back. Ling herself had even been fooled for a little while. Any curves Ed had now were a stark comparison to what she had allowed to be visible back then.
At any rate, Ed was an incredibly attractive woman, even when her skin was as pale as the sheets she was lying on, her hair was mused from lying on it, and her make up had been smudged. Ling sat down at the side of her head and patted her automail hand gently. The other was done up in a sling because of her shoulder wound, trying to limit mobility.
And so, it was a matter of waiting. Ling had her dinner brought right into Ed's room, and she only left when an emergency council meeting was called on the state of security in the palace. A few people had been fired.
Upon arriving back at Ed's room to say good night, she discovered that Ed had woken up while she was gone, and was sitting part way up, being fed some chicken broth or something.
"Ah! Good! You're awake!" Ling exclaimed in Amestrian, causing everyone in the room to stop what they were doing and bow to her. (Ed didn't, of course, but that was because she was Ed.) "We have many questions for you." She switched back to Xingese. "Thank you, Lien; I can help her finish dinner."
The healer Lien bowed and handed over the bowl, not even questioning why the Empress was offering to feed a lowly foreigner. The hired help had stopped asking why Ling did things a while back.
Ed, however, was making an impressively annoyed face.
"What is the matter, my dear?" Ling asked in Amestrian. "You are being fed your dinner by the Empress of all Xing! That is a great honor! Or did you find Lien more attractive than me? Is that it?" Lien wasn't a bad looking woman, though she had nothing on Ed. Hmm.
"Oh, quit it," Ed groused. "I am never fucking listening to a speech you make ever again."
"Ah, that is a shame, seeing as you saved my life twice today," Ling said quietly, lifting the edge of the bowl to Ed's lips. "Have a sip."
Ed did so, probably mostly to avoid having hot chicken broth poured all down her front, which is what would have happened if she had refused.
"How'd I save your life?" Ed asked, when Ling had lowered the bowl again. "All I did was get myself stabbed with a fucking hairpiece."
"Ed...I don't even know how the woman you attacked is involved with all of this," Ling admitted. "She isn't attesting innocence, and she obviously tried to kill you, and I don't even know what she did or how she did it." She shook her head. "The platform I had been standing on exploded. If you hadn't alerted Ran Fan that something was going on, I would have been standing on it while it happened."
"I...what? She noticed me looking at her?" Ed asked, sounding surprised.
"Yes. She had me step back off the platform just before the end of the speech," Ling explained. "Then everything exploded, people were running, and you were lying on the ground, bleeding. Tell me, Ed, what did you see? What did she do?"
"Gloves," Ed murmured thoughtfully. "She took a pair of gloves out of her pockets and put them on. I wanted to wear gloves over my automail, but your tailor lady was a real bitch about that, so I noticed them. And then I looked closer, and there was an alkahestry circle on them. I couldn't see what it did, but I knew as soon as she started clapping, something was going to happen."
"Alkahestry...then she might have been working alone," Ling said slowly, thinking. There was a chance she could have set off some sort of a chain reaction that would eventually activate an array in the safe room, or perhaps she had a tattoo or something they hadn't noticed before...but how would she have gotten into these rooms beforehand to draw the circles necessary?
Ed shifted slightly on the bed, wincing as she jarred her injured shoulder a little. "So you said I saved you twice? When was the other time?"
"Ah...she managed to blow up my safe room as well," Ling admitted, finding this entire assassination thing rather annoying. Someone in security was going to be in a whole hell of a lot of trouble. "I was here, waiting for news about you, when that happened."
There was a moment of silence as Ed considered Ling. "You were here?" she asked.
"Of course I was." Ling shrugged. "I can give orders from here just as well as I can from anywhere else. The healers weren't very happy about everyone coming and going, of course...but it all worked out just fine. More soup?"
Ed accepted this, and Ling continued to chatter on aimlessly. "We also had to clear out my personal hospital wing and my quarters, just in case. If she got into the banquet hall and the place that is supposed to be the safest place in the palace, well. An Empress can never be too careful! I guess it is, in a way, a blessing in disguise that you got yourself hurt so badly, or I might be dead after all of that."
"Being stabbed is pretty much never a blessing, I promise," Ed grunted, making a face.
"I don't know, Ed! I am pretty glad about it myself," Ling teased. "It's also a blessing that you are not a little bit taller, beca-"
"Hey!"
"-because then she would have gotten you in the heart." Ling smiled.
Ed looked down at the bandages on her chest and shoulder, frowning, as if to verify the validity of Ling's statement. "I think I'd rather be taller and dead," she finally decided, still glaring at Ling.
Ling laughed. "I for one am glad you are not dead. I am also glad that I am not dead. Once you're feeling better, we should have a 'glad we are not dead' celebration!" she suggested happily. "There will be lots of food there, and maybe dancers, or..."
"Ling, I hate your god awful parties," Ed groaned. "Will you give me more of that damn soup?"
"Of course, my dearest! Anything for the woman who has saved my life." Ling grinned and kissed Ed on the cheek before lifting the bowl up again.
Ed's retort was gurgled through a mouthful of chicken broth.
--
Ed's condition improved rapidly, but her temperament did not. It was a well known fact that Ed was a terrible patient, and now Xing knew it as well as Amestris. The problem in this case was that her left arm was rendered mostly immobile due to her shoulder injury, and her right was completely useless from the wrist on down, thanks to whatever that jerk assassin had done to it. She couldn't move or feel her fingers at all, and there was some weird oily shit leaking out of the damaged metal plate over her forearm every time she bent her elbow.
There was an automail mechanic in Xing, of course, because of Ran Fan's arm. He even lived in the Imperial City. Unfortunately, Ran Fan had had maintenance on her arm three weeks ago, and he was in the countryside, visiting his daughter and her husband. Word had been sent out, but it was difficult to reach anyone not in the cities, so Ed could be waiting a while.
Alkahestry was a wonderful thing, though. Just two days after the assassination attempt, Ed could do anything with her arm that didn't require lifting it above elbow height. She couldn't brush her hair or feed herself (super annoying), but she could at least wipe her own ass after using the toilet. Bonus.
She had come up with a new form of reading to occupy her time. She would sit on the bed leaning against a bunch of pillows propped up against the wall and her knees bent enough that she could rest a book on them. Then her left arm was free to hold the book open and turn the pages. If it was a stubborn book, some flopping around with her automail arm could place it in a position to hold the book in place while she turned the page.
This is what she was doing when Ling came to see her just after dinner. She was quite engrossed in the book, even if it had just been some random text that the Imperial library happened to have in Amestrian. It wasn't necessarily that it was interesting. It was mostly because that was just how Ed read.
She didn't notice Ling's presence until there was suddenly a huge, ugly flower arrangement between her face and her book. She looked up, blinking in surprise. "What do you want?" she asked, frowning.
Ling was grinning like an idiot (nothing new), waving the flowers around. "I got you flowers!" she explained.
"Yes...I see that. Why?"
"Because you are injured, and...I thought it was Amestrian tradition to get people flowers when they were injured?" Ling looked confused for a moment.
Ed shrugged. "I guess it is. Thanks. Put them on the table or something."
Ling looked crushed. "You don't like flowers?"
"Um, not really," Ed admitted.
"And here I was trying to cheer you up!" Ling sighed dramatically. "The healers say that you have been especially irritable lately."
"You try not being able to use either of your arms properly."
Ling looked sad. "I don't want to try that. Judging from the way you're acting, it doesn't seem very pleasant," she admitted. She arranged the flowers on the nightstand, setting them up in a vase that had mysteriously appeared there. "There! Very pretty."
This went on for a while, Ling proclaiming all the healing properties of whatever dumb flowers she had brought with her, and Ed tuned her out in favor of the book that wasn't that interesting (but more interesting than the healing properties of fucking tulips or whatever).
That was, until the book vanished.
"Hey!"
Ed's book was in the air, being held up by an annoyed looking Ling.
"You could at least listen when the Empress speaks to you," Ling replied disparagingly. She tossed the book backwards over her shoulder, losing Ed's page forever and ever.
Ed pouted liberally. "I was listening," she insisted.
"Yes? Name one thing I said to you," Ling challenged.
"You were spouting off bullshit about the healing properties of tulips or something."
Ling stared at her for a moment. "Ed, these are peonies," she said. "Are you so ill that you can't tell the difference between a tulip and a peony? Maybe I should call the healers."
"Peonies. Whatever. I still think flowers are stupid," Ed insisted.
"That doesn't prove your case that you were listening," Ling responded. "If you are going to lie, you should at least attempt to be convincing about it."
Ed shrugged. "Go get me my book back."
"Aw, Ed. I wanted to spend some time with you."
"You are. Go get me my book."
Ling gave Ed the look that she used when she was making sexual advances that were too subtle or foreign or stupid for Ed to consider them sexual advances. "I mean, spending time together."
"Ugh, Ling," Ed moaned, flopping back against her pillows. "I hate you. I hate you! Look at me. How the fuck am I supposed to do anything when I can't fucking move?"
"Oh-don't worry about that!" Ling exclaimed. "Is that your only problem? I can make it so you don't have to move at all." She was suddenly all smiles. Apparently, the tulip-peony confusion was forgiven. Whatever.
"Seriously? This isn't exactly private here, you know. Healers wander in at all hours of the day or night," Ed pointed out, frowning. She knew Ling wouldn't care about details like that, but she did, and Ling did know about that.
Ling climbed onto the bed, apparently ignoring Ed's discomfort. "They won't come in until I tell them they can," she purred, reclining on Ed's right. "You aren't in any danger. In fact, I've nearly convinced them to let you stay in my bedroom while you recover instead of in here."
Ed did perk up a little at this. "Really?" she asked. Being out of this room would be probably about the best thing in the world at the moment.
"Really." Ling pressed a gentle kiss to Ed's neck. "But they haven't agreed yet. So for now, we will have to play here." One of her hands found its way to her stomach, massaging gently.
Despite being rather annoyed with Ling and the situation, Ed was well aware that whining would do her no good because she had no real objection to this and they both knew it. If Ling had made sure no one would come in, then no one would come in. If Ling was okay with the fact that Ed wasn't going to be able to reciprocate, then who was she to stop a good thing from happening? Ling was bound and determined to give her a good time, so she might as well sit back and enjoy it.
This time, when Ling kissed her, she kissed back. Ling murmured in pleasure, rolling slightly until she was on Ed's automail arm. Her right hand, which had been resting on Ed's stomach, delved a little lower, under the blankets. Her fingers slid over Ed's hospital gown, over her underwear, until she was right where Ed wanted her, albeit outside of the two layers of clothing present.
Ed made a tiny sound into the kiss and turned her head away. "You're sure no one is going to walk in in the middle of this, right?"
Ling laughed, her voice a little lower than normal. "I am sure, Ed."
"Carry on, then." Ed nodded.
Obediently, Ling's hand slipped between the layers of Ed's hospital gown, and then burrowed underneath the waistband of the boxers Ed still insisted were more comfortable than girly panties. One finger slid within the wetness growing there, and Ed sighed, leaning her head back against the pillows.
"Ah, Ed, you are very repressed, aren't you?" Ling chuckled, her nose pressed against Ed's jaw.
"Fuck you," Ed hissed.
"Ahaha, that isn't a very nice thing to say to the person who is making you feel so nice right now. Unless you meant that literally, in which case, I would be more than happy, but I do not think you are capable," Ling replied.
Ling's finger was a very talented finger, though, and it was difficult to stay angry with her. Ed's hips began to twitch a bit as one finger became two, and Ling started nibbling on Ed's ear. Just as her forehead broke out into a sweat, though, Ling stopped.
Ed opened one eye. "Wha...?"
"I thought we should try something different," Ling announced, pulling her hand free. She examined her fingers for a moment, and then began to lick them erotically. Ed groaned and closed her eyes again. Ling was a terrible and wonderful person. But mostly terrible.
She felt Ling move around on top of her, drawing off the blankets and then pulling down her boxers. For this part, Ed did open her eyes and wriggle around to help. She was curious as to what Ling was going to do. Well, as long as it didn't involve her toys. Ling had some really scary toys.
Ling's plan didn't involve toys, though. It involved Ed's knees being hooked over Ling's shoulder, and Ling's face heading for-oh god, her tongue? Seriously?
"Ew, Ling, that's-" Well, it would probably feel good, but gross.
"It is called cunnilingus," Ling answered huskily. "Now, lie still, Edwina, and I will make you very, very happy."
Why did Ling know more Amestrian than Ed did? Well, since it was a sex act, Ed wasn't actually surprised. And when Ling got started, she forgot about being annoyed and grossed out pretty quickly.
"Oh, fuck," Ed groaned, her head falling back on the pillows again.
Ling had to keep applying pressure to Ed's thighs to keep them from latching onto her head, but Ed didn't really care at that point. Matters proceeded from there, and Ed wound up lying on her back, damp with sweat, and in a much happier place. Ling climbed up and laid down half on top of Ed again, but Ed found that she didn't mind so much.
"I like you," Ed told Ling, glancing over at her. The feeling wasn't something that lasted long, usually, so she felt the need to express it.
Ling laughed a little and kissed her on the cheek. "I am glad."
--
A week and some maintenance later, Ed was feeling nearly one hundred percent again. That meant, however, that the other half of Ed being in Xing (researching alkahestry) needed to start up again. She was packing her suitcase when Ling waltzed into the royal bed chambers, carrying a number of long rolled up papers.
"Ed! You can't go anywhere!" she declared, sounding worried. She discarded the papers, rushing over and grabbing Ed's hands tightly.
"The reason I'm in Xing only partially has to do with you, you know," Ed sighed, rolling her eyes.
"But they rescheduled my speech!" Ling exclaimed. "I need a confidant, beautiful, battle-proven bodyguard at my side! Namely you."
"What? No! I already told you I'm never going to one of your speeches ever again!"
Ling looked sad. "But I need you. You can go on your adventure next week. Besides, that lady finally confessed to everything! It turns out her brother was one of the workers who helped to install the safe room, and she convinced him to draw his circle in the architecture there, and there were some weird chain reactions from the transmutation in the banquet hall that triggered it. He didn't even know what the circle did. So there will probably be no problems at this one!"
Ed yanked her hands away. "Forget it. I told you, no more security detail. Your guards know to look for alkahestry stuff now anyway, so you don't need me," she insisted.
Ling sighed. "Well, if you're going to be that way about it..." She moved to where she had dumped the rolled up papers and picked one up. She unfurled it on the bed. "I did want to show you one other thing before you go. Look."
Ed looked at the paper spread out on Ling's bed. It seemed to be blueprints of some variety, but Ed wasn't sure to what, since all the writing was in Xingese.
"What is this?"
"This is the palace, Ed!" Ling remarked, sounding a little annoyed. "See? This is where we are now. And if you look at the main floor..."
"Hold it," Ed stated, frowning at the indicated section of the blueprints. "That's...wait a minute." Had she seen something there? Now that she was focusing on it, it was gone again.
"Ah, you see it too? It took me a long while to figure out what I was seeing here."
"That's a transmutation circle," Ed mused, rubbing a hand over her chin. "The points...yeah, I see them. And the center? What's there?"
"That is the throne room." Ling's voice sounded more serious now. "There is nothing where the points of the circle would be, though. This entire section of the palace," and she made a generous sweep of her arm over one section, "was entirely redone about forty years ago after a big fire."
"What's the circle for?" Ed murmured, only half listening to Ling. "It's got...seven...no, nine...hmm..."
"Anyway, if you could figure out what it does and where it's hiding, I would appreciate that. Can you do that before you leave forever, Ed?" Ling asked. "Oh, my spies also discovered a bunch of old Xerxian scrolls in one of the border towns in the desert, and no one actually can read Xerxian, so I thought maybe you could look into translating a few of them for me?"
"What?" Ed tore her eyes away from the strange circle and looked up at Ling.
Ling smiled a little, stepping closer and sliding an arm around her waist. "I know you are here to study alkahestry and to improve your abilities and such, but...can't you do at least a little of that from the palace? The Empress is a very selfish woman, after all."
Ed stared at her for a long moment. Was Ling seriously engineering excuses for Ed to stay in the palace so she didn't have to or something? "...you're an idiot," she declared. "The translating can wait, but I'm a little concerned about these blueprints. I guess I could stick around a little while."
Ling grinned, leaning down to kiss Ed on the lips, and Ed didn't resist. Well, she supposed a little extra time in the palace wouldn't be so bad. Being around Ling was kind of nice. And despite having been injured and all that, that past week had been an awfully nice little vacation. And it wasn't like there wasn't plenty of alkahestry crap in the palace to look over before she started visiting the countryside and spreading she and Al's new philosophies. She didn't even speak Xingese, after all.
For however annoying and conniving Ling could be, she was also rather sweet when it came to stuff like this. Even if she was annoyingly and connivingly sweet. Ed had missed this rather intently when she had been in Amestris and Ling had been here. She probably wouldn't have even realized it if she hadn't come and then gotten stuck here for so long.
Maybe Ling had been right. Maybe, and Ed could only think this because it didn't hurt anymore and she had the full functions of both of her arms now, all of this was a blessing in disguise.
--
A/N: You can't have cunnilingus without Ling! :D
Author: vwl
Word Count: 6,712 <-I don't know how to write things that are short, I guess :|
Rating: R
Characters: girl!Ed/girl!Ling
Prompt: August 9 : girl!Ed/girl!Ling- when she planned to visit Xing, she hadn't planned on being involved in any assassination attempts, botched or otherwise. Girl!Ling, ever the optimist, tries to show Ed that things aren't so bad (Ed always was so very beautiful!).
Summary: Maybe getting stuck in the Imperial palace wasn't so bad after all.
Warnings: Explosions! Weird alchemy! Girl on girl action! Everything you have come to expect from Rydia Highwind.
Notes: Written for fma_slashfest. This is a post-manga AU where Ed and Ling have always been girls. Ed pretended to be a boy and stuff for a while, but most of the main cast of good guys knew she was really a girl. Ling is just...Ling with boobs, pretty much. :D Anyway, this is an AU because Ed still has automail and alchemy and all that good stuff, and because I switched Ed and Al's roles around at the end. Al went west and Ed went east, for the sake of this fic.
Dedication: This is a 'gift' for the wonderful bob_fish, as well as a fill of the prompt. :D;; NOT A COP OUT AT ALL.
When Edwina Elric had agreed to visit Xing in time for the festival to celebrate the ascension of the first Empress to rise to power in over a century, she had imagined a huge party with tons and tons of food, music, and a bunch of drunk Xingese people.
This was not meant to be, really.
The banquet hall was lavishly decorated in gold and red, embroidered dragons flying about the silk banners and wall hangings. The tables were made of a beautiful dark wood and were laden with platters filled with food that was all completely foreign to Ed but smelled incredible nonetheless. Golden lanterns decorated each table, glowing with an alkahestry-enhanced light within. Everyone present was dressed in ridiculous looking outfits that were all apparently Xing's form of fancy.
This, unfortunately, included Ed. There had been a bit of a fight between her and the seamstress assigned to make an outfit for Ed to wear, all through an irate interpreter, and Ed had lost. She was decked in some robe things with a satiny finish that was surprisingly comfortable but rather restrictive. She had tried to hide her automail with gloves, as most people in Xing weren't even familiar with automail, and had been given a severe tongue lashing for her efforts. Apparently, gloves were some sort of huge fashion taboo in Xing. Who knew? Then someone else had come to do her hair, which she had sat through, glowering at the wall the entire time. The end result of this was that Ed looked about as ridiculous as she felt.
In order to allow Ed into this sacred ceremony (since she was a foreigner and all), Ling had made her a part of the security detail. This was entirely baffling to Ed, as she stood near the raised platform from where Ling was to make a speech or something. How the hell was she supposed to be security if she couldn't damn well move?
Ran Fan, dressed in her typical all black, complete with her ceremonial mask, curtly informed Ed that the position was simply honorific, and that she didn't have to do anything. Stupid Ran Fan.
It had been a long while since Ed had seen Ling, and she missed the goofy princess more than she cared to admit. Their relationship had been born entirely of teenage hormones and four months of camping together, but it had grown into something more than that. They'd each made a heartfelt if not startlingly teenage girl-ish vow to remain true to each other before Ling had left for Xing and Ed had stayed to take care of Al. This was the first time they were getting together since then, and it seemed like it had been forever.
There was some quiet chattering going around the room while the guests waited for the new leader of Xing to arrive and make her speech. The food remained untouched for now; Ed supposed they had to wait until after the boring speech to eat. That was just going to make the speech even longer, she supposed.
Eventually, the servants started escorting people to their seats around the front of the raised platform Ed was hovering nearby. This was a good sign in Ed's estimation. At least it was until a servant tried to escort her to a seat, and she was unable to explain that she was part of the honor guard or whatever because the servant didn't speak Amestrian. Ed caught sight of Ran Fan, but she was busy directing guards and spies or something. Whatever. Ed did realize she was here for the show, not for the job, and it wasn't like she was going to be able to do any good anyway. She took her seat in the third row from the front with an air of annoyed resignation.
Once everyone was seated, a small band started playing some traditional Xingese music, and the grand double doors at the entrance to the hall were pulled open.
First came the dancing girls, garbed in black and red, and sprinkling flower petals along the way. Next came a procession of guards wearing Xingese military uniforms and wielding ceremonial swords. Then the music changed; everyone stood up from their seats, only to kneel on the floor in front of their chairs. Ed wasn't sure she could move enough to do this, but she managed something reasonably similar-not because she had any inclination to bow to Ling, but because she didn't want to be escorted into the palace jail or something.
When Ling appeared, Ed discovered that there was a better definition of the word 'ridiculous' when talking about clothing. Ling appeared to have picked several outfits and put them all on, one on top of the next. Her dress (dresses?) took up about three times as much room as she normally did. She had been done up to match the banquet hall. Or maybe the banquet hall had been done up to match her-who knew. At any rate, she was decked out in red and gold, down to the golden eye shadow and deep red lipstick. Her hairpiece gave her at least six more unnecessary inches and had tiny things dangling off of it that made a soft clinking noise when she moved.
Wow. Just...wow. Ed was so entranced by the weird getup that she forgot to bow her head when Ling walked by. Ling grinned and winked at her, and Ed somehow managed to refrain from flicking her off. That would almost certainly have her put in jail forever.
Ling made her slow way up to the front of the hall and up onto the pedestal, requiring aid from the dancing girls to successfully turn around without tripping on that stupid dress. She smiled out at the small audience gathered, and everyone picked themselves up off the floor and sat back in their seats. Ed was grateful she was able to get back up, mostly.
When Ling began speaking, Ed suddenly realized that this was going to be even worse than she had anticipated. Naturally, the speech was in Xingese.
Ed didn't speak more than six words in Xingese, and five of those words were curses.
Ling didn't use any of those words in her speech.
Well, for the two minutes that Ed listened, anyway. She was pretty sure those words would make the speech better, but she didn't really expect them to turn up. So instead of paying attention, she began to look out at the people assembled.
Most of these people were Xingese noblemen and women, probably the heads of the clans or something like that. There had been heavy security detail, and all of the guests had been staying in the palace for a week. Ling's position was a popular one, and everyone else wanted it. To give a speech or any public appearance like this was risky. There were guards posted everywhere, and there were probably a billion more that Ed couldn't see. It'd be suicide to try anything in here, but Ed was security detail (if only by title), so she figured she could be suspicious if she wanted to be.
Like that woman sitting three seats down to her right. She kept fiddling with her purse, like there was something inside of it that she wanted to get out. Or that man who kept coughing behind her. Or that woman in the next row, four seats down, who seemed to have her focus on the platform Ling was standing on rather than Ling herself.
Of course, the woman with the purse pulled out a small vial of perfume, which she discreetly applied before putting away again, and the man behind her, cleared his throat once and then seemed better. The woman in the second row, now, was fiddling with a pair of gloves.
Gloves?
Wait a minute.
The woman who had dressed Ed hadn't even needed to speak the same language as her for Ed to understand that gloves were a no-no for ladies of high status, she had been so adamant about it. There was something a bit odd about this. Ed continued to watch her for a moment, as she fidgeted with her gloves before pulling them on.
Ed didn't have a very good angle to see what she was doing, but one thing was clear-those weren't any ordinary gloves. From this distance, she could just make out the lines of an alkahestry circle on the palm of the woman's glove. What it did, Ed couldn't tell from here, and she wasn't familiar enough with alkahestry to identify all the symbols. On closer inspection, maybe, but the woman had already lowered her hands out of Ed's view entirely.
There were exactly zero plausible good reasons Ed could think of why someone would need alkahestry gloves in the middle of a speech. There were a host of bad ones, though. Ed liked to think that the security here was smart enough to look for circles like that, but a single pair of gloves would be easy to hide.
Ed wasn't really sure how to proceed. Of course, she couldn't be sure the woman had any nefarious plans; it was simply that every single sign pointed toward it. Ed glowered in Ran Fan's direction, trying to capture her attention, but Ran Fan didn't seem to notice. The woman in question was sitting too far away from Ed for her to be able to do anything without compromising the entire speech.
Well, speech be damned. If that lady was a threat-
The people on either side of Ed stood up suddenly, and Ling's voice became louder and more rousing. Ed jumped to her feet-the speech was about done, and everyone was standing supportively, raising their hands for a round of applause. If that woman with the gloves clapped-
She did, or at least Ed assumed she had, because the wave of alkahestry that resulted nearly knocked her off her feet. Someone screamed as the ground shook violently, and people began clambering toward the massive double doors. Ed pushed through the crowd, keeping her eyes on the glove woman. Ling would be attended to, she was sure, and the gloved woman was part of this. Ed wasn't about to let her escape the palace.
The woman was running for the exit like everyone else, the gloves suddenly nowhere to be seen. Ed raced after her, shoving people aside. She reached up, grabbing the back of the woman's dress. "Hey-"
The woman whirled around suddenly, her eyes narrowed and not at all questioning why she had been stopped. Without a word, she reached up and yanked one of the decorative stick things out of her hair, coming toward Ed with it. Ed was surprised by the move, though she didn't know what she'd been expecting, honestly, but she brought up her right arm just in time to parry the blow.
The stick was sharp, Ed discovered when she came at her again. Again, she was able to block the blow with her automail, but the edge of the stick lodged under the metal plate on her forearm. Ed pulled back, frowning as the feeling in her fingers suddenly quit, and it was this hesitation that cost her the battle. When she looked up, her assailant had the other stick from her hair, and, although she moved to block, her automail was too sluggish.
She gasped in surprise as the stick pierced her left shoulder, driving in underneath her collar bone and into her upper chest. The shock of the blow sent her to her knees almost immediately.
The woman turned to flee the scene once again, even as Ed hit the ground. Ed wasn't down for the count, though. Awkwardly, painfully, she managed to get her hands together, and then to snag the hem of the woman's dress as she ran for it. A moment later, she fell to the ground, her robes now binding her as well as any rope.
For a moment, Ed was aware solely of the blinding pain in her shoulder. She could feel the blood pounding in her ears, and her vision was wavering. For a moment, all she could think was, What a fucking stupid way to get killed...stabbed by a goddamn chopstick. Al's gonna be pissed when he hears about this.
There were ways around that whole dying thing; Ed had done it before, and she could do it again. If only she could think far enough to remember how she had done it last time.
But then there were people around her, someone calling her name, and-oh, hey, a country full of medical alchemists. Maybe she wouldn't have to transmute her own soul again after all. What a novel idea.
Ling's face came into view, frowning and saying something, but the words were strange in Ed's ears and she got the idea Ling wasn't actually talking to her. She wanted to say something to Ling, but then someone moved her slightly to lift her up. The motion sent a jolt of pain through her body so severe that she nearly blacked out. This was a great sign, really. Ling's hand closed around hers as she bit back a little moan of pain.
Another jolt. Ed squeezed her eyes shut. Maybe being unconscious for this wasn't too bad of an idea. Someone was lifting her up. She was a little leery about all of this taking place, strangers taking care of her, but she hardly had a choice in the matter. And besides, she could still feel Ling's hand wrapped around hers. She knew human anatomy well enough to know that the stab wound was dangerously close to her heart. No alchemy in the world was going to save her if they didn't take care of it soon.
But that's what they were doing, right? The world moved ominously as whoever was carrying her started moving, and Ed couldn't have remained conscious if she had wanted to.
--
Ling was in the hospital wing, standing outside of Ed's recovery room, when the safe room blew up.
The explosion rocked the floor slightly; the safe room was underground, and the explosion probably caused some structural damage, but the hospital wing was far enough away that the slight motion was the only side effect. When a guard ran in to inform the Empress what had happened, the advisor at Ling's right who had been avidly trying to convince her to go to the safe room paled considerably.
"That is where they expected me to go, I suppose," Ling commented tightly. Perhaps Ed had saved her life in more than one way today.
The alchemical attack in the banquet hall had been concentrated on the raised platform Ling had been standing on. If Ran Fan hadn't caught the nervous looks Ed had been giving her and had Ling step backwards away from the crowd, she would have been grievously injured at the very least. Right now, she had a few scratches, but she was alive and well.
Something occurred to her.
"Ran Fan," she said sharply.
Poor Ran Fan was exceptionally busy at the moment, being the captain of Ling's personal guard. But she immediately abandoned the guard she was lecturing and bowed to Ling. "My lady."
"The first attack was centered on where I was supposed to be standing. The second attack was in where I would have gone if I had escaped injury." Ling frowned intently. "Might they have planned for another contingency?"
Ran Fan caught her meaning immediately. She turned away without another word to Ling and addressed the same guard who had given them news about the safe room. "Have the Empress' personal medical wing emptied immediately. There may not be much time. Go."
"And my personal quarters," Ling added. Anywhere else she might be likely to go in the opinion of an assassin, really. The guard bowed and disappeared.
Ling had someone brought in to help her undress; the ceremonial robes she was wearing were restrictive and uncomfortable. Instead, she dressed in a much more practical (and thereby less conventional) outfit consisting of pants and a long tunic type shirt. She issued a number of orders from just outside of Ed's recovery room. No attack had been made on the Empress' private medical wing, but they had the entire area cleared out anyway, just in case. The pyrotechnics were coming in to look for a cause of the explosions. Architects were called to ensure the stability of the palace foundations. Food was brought in to keep the Empress from passing out.
And then, finally, a healer came out of Ed's room. "Your highness, she is stable," the healer said, bowing low.
Ling stood up, brushing off the advisors trying to get her opinion on something. "She's all right?"
"She hasn't woken up from the anesthesia just yet, but she should make a full recovery," the healer explained. "She has lost a good deal of blood, but the dagger mostly just pierced muscle. She is a very lucky woman."
In some ways, yes, Ed was a lucky woman. In most others, she wasn't. Ling simply nodded and invited herself into the recovery room.
It was a shame, really. Ed had looked so pretty all dolled up in traditional Xingese robes. Ling had specifically sent her meanest seamstress to dress Ed, knowing Ed was adverse to wearing anything that was remotely feminine. Someone had even done her hair and make up. Not only that, but the two years off from roaming the countryside and saving the world had done wonders for Ed's figure. Now that she had more than one ounce of body fat, she had developed a few soft curves. Nothing ample, really, but compared to how she had looked as a teenager, it was a significant difference.
Well, that was probably mostly to do with the fact that Ed had hidden every sign of her femininity for years when she was in the military. The fact that the famous Edward Elric was actually Edwina Elric was a secret from most of the world until that biography had come out a while back. Ling herself had even been fooled for a little while. Any curves Ed had now were a stark comparison to what she had allowed to be visible back then.
At any rate, Ed was an incredibly attractive woman, even when her skin was as pale as the sheets she was lying on, her hair was mused from lying on it, and her make up had been smudged. Ling sat down at the side of her head and patted her automail hand gently. The other was done up in a sling because of her shoulder wound, trying to limit mobility.
And so, it was a matter of waiting. Ling had her dinner brought right into Ed's room, and she only left when an emergency council meeting was called on the state of security in the palace. A few people had been fired.
Upon arriving back at Ed's room to say good night, she discovered that Ed had woken up while she was gone, and was sitting part way up, being fed some chicken broth or something.
"Ah! Good! You're awake!" Ling exclaimed in Amestrian, causing everyone in the room to stop what they were doing and bow to her. (Ed didn't, of course, but that was because she was Ed.) "We have many questions for you." She switched back to Xingese. "Thank you, Lien; I can help her finish dinner."
The healer Lien bowed and handed over the bowl, not even questioning why the Empress was offering to feed a lowly foreigner. The hired help had stopped asking why Ling did things a while back.
Ed, however, was making an impressively annoyed face.
"What is the matter, my dear?" Ling asked in Amestrian. "You are being fed your dinner by the Empress of all Xing! That is a great honor! Or did you find Lien more attractive than me? Is that it?" Lien wasn't a bad looking woman, though she had nothing on Ed. Hmm.
"Oh, quit it," Ed groused. "I am never fucking listening to a speech you make ever again."
"Ah, that is a shame, seeing as you saved my life twice today," Ling said quietly, lifting the edge of the bowl to Ed's lips. "Have a sip."
Ed did so, probably mostly to avoid having hot chicken broth poured all down her front, which is what would have happened if she had refused.
"How'd I save your life?" Ed asked, when Ling had lowered the bowl again. "All I did was get myself stabbed with a fucking hairpiece."
"Ed...I don't even know how the woman you attacked is involved with all of this," Ling admitted. "She isn't attesting innocence, and she obviously tried to kill you, and I don't even know what she did or how she did it." She shook her head. "The platform I had been standing on exploded. If you hadn't alerted Ran Fan that something was going on, I would have been standing on it while it happened."
"I...what? She noticed me looking at her?" Ed asked, sounding surprised.
"Yes. She had me step back off the platform just before the end of the speech," Ling explained. "Then everything exploded, people were running, and you were lying on the ground, bleeding. Tell me, Ed, what did you see? What did she do?"
"Gloves," Ed murmured thoughtfully. "She took a pair of gloves out of her pockets and put them on. I wanted to wear gloves over my automail, but your tailor lady was a real bitch about that, so I noticed them. And then I looked closer, and there was an alkahestry circle on them. I couldn't see what it did, but I knew as soon as she started clapping, something was going to happen."
"Alkahestry...then she might have been working alone," Ling said slowly, thinking. There was a chance she could have set off some sort of a chain reaction that would eventually activate an array in the safe room, or perhaps she had a tattoo or something they hadn't noticed before...but how would she have gotten into these rooms beforehand to draw the circles necessary?
Ed shifted slightly on the bed, wincing as she jarred her injured shoulder a little. "So you said I saved you twice? When was the other time?"
"Ah...she managed to blow up my safe room as well," Ling admitted, finding this entire assassination thing rather annoying. Someone in security was going to be in a whole hell of a lot of trouble. "I was here, waiting for news about you, when that happened."
There was a moment of silence as Ed considered Ling. "You were here?" she asked.
"Of course I was." Ling shrugged. "I can give orders from here just as well as I can from anywhere else. The healers weren't very happy about everyone coming and going, of course...but it all worked out just fine. More soup?"
Ed accepted this, and Ling continued to chatter on aimlessly. "We also had to clear out my personal hospital wing and my quarters, just in case. If she got into the banquet hall and the place that is supposed to be the safest place in the palace, well. An Empress can never be too careful! I guess it is, in a way, a blessing in disguise that you got yourself hurt so badly, or I might be dead after all of that."
"Being stabbed is pretty much never a blessing, I promise," Ed grunted, making a face.
"I don't know, Ed! I am pretty glad about it myself," Ling teased. "It's also a blessing that you are not a little bit taller, beca-"
"Hey!"
"-because then she would have gotten you in the heart." Ling smiled.
Ed looked down at the bandages on her chest and shoulder, frowning, as if to verify the validity of Ling's statement. "I think I'd rather be taller and dead," she finally decided, still glaring at Ling.
Ling laughed. "I for one am glad you are not dead. I am also glad that I am not dead. Once you're feeling better, we should have a 'glad we are not dead' celebration!" she suggested happily. "There will be lots of food there, and maybe dancers, or..."
"Ling, I hate your god awful parties," Ed groaned. "Will you give me more of that damn soup?"
"Of course, my dearest! Anything for the woman who has saved my life." Ling grinned and kissed Ed on the cheek before lifting the bowl up again.
Ed's retort was gurgled through a mouthful of chicken broth.
--
Ed's condition improved rapidly, but her temperament did not. It was a well known fact that Ed was a terrible patient, and now Xing knew it as well as Amestris. The problem in this case was that her left arm was rendered mostly immobile due to her shoulder injury, and her right was completely useless from the wrist on down, thanks to whatever that jerk assassin had done to it. She couldn't move or feel her fingers at all, and there was some weird oily shit leaking out of the damaged metal plate over her forearm every time she bent her elbow.
There was an automail mechanic in Xing, of course, because of Ran Fan's arm. He even lived in the Imperial City. Unfortunately, Ran Fan had had maintenance on her arm three weeks ago, and he was in the countryside, visiting his daughter and her husband. Word had been sent out, but it was difficult to reach anyone not in the cities, so Ed could be waiting a while.
Alkahestry was a wonderful thing, though. Just two days after the assassination attempt, Ed could do anything with her arm that didn't require lifting it above elbow height. She couldn't brush her hair or feed herself (super annoying), but she could at least wipe her own ass after using the toilet. Bonus.
She had come up with a new form of reading to occupy her time. She would sit on the bed leaning against a bunch of pillows propped up against the wall and her knees bent enough that she could rest a book on them. Then her left arm was free to hold the book open and turn the pages. If it was a stubborn book, some flopping around with her automail arm could place it in a position to hold the book in place while she turned the page.
This is what she was doing when Ling came to see her just after dinner. She was quite engrossed in the book, even if it had just been some random text that the Imperial library happened to have in Amestrian. It wasn't necessarily that it was interesting. It was mostly because that was just how Ed read.
She didn't notice Ling's presence until there was suddenly a huge, ugly flower arrangement between her face and her book. She looked up, blinking in surprise. "What do you want?" she asked, frowning.
Ling was grinning like an idiot (nothing new), waving the flowers around. "I got you flowers!" she explained.
"Yes...I see that. Why?"
"Because you are injured, and...I thought it was Amestrian tradition to get people flowers when they were injured?" Ling looked confused for a moment.
Ed shrugged. "I guess it is. Thanks. Put them on the table or something."
Ling looked crushed. "You don't like flowers?"
"Um, not really," Ed admitted.
"And here I was trying to cheer you up!" Ling sighed dramatically. "The healers say that you have been especially irritable lately."
"You try not being able to use either of your arms properly."
Ling looked sad. "I don't want to try that. Judging from the way you're acting, it doesn't seem very pleasant," she admitted. She arranged the flowers on the nightstand, setting them up in a vase that had mysteriously appeared there. "There! Very pretty."
This went on for a while, Ling proclaiming all the healing properties of whatever dumb flowers she had brought with her, and Ed tuned her out in favor of the book that wasn't that interesting (but more interesting than the healing properties of fucking tulips or whatever).
That was, until the book vanished.
"Hey!"
Ed's book was in the air, being held up by an annoyed looking Ling.
"You could at least listen when the Empress speaks to you," Ling replied disparagingly. She tossed the book backwards over her shoulder, losing Ed's page forever and ever.
Ed pouted liberally. "I was listening," she insisted.
"Yes? Name one thing I said to you," Ling challenged.
"You were spouting off bullshit about the healing properties of tulips or something."
Ling stared at her for a moment. "Ed, these are peonies," she said. "Are you so ill that you can't tell the difference between a tulip and a peony? Maybe I should call the healers."
"Peonies. Whatever. I still think flowers are stupid," Ed insisted.
"That doesn't prove your case that you were listening," Ling responded. "If you are going to lie, you should at least attempt to be convincing about it."
Ed shrugged. "Go get me my book back."
"Aw, Ed. I wanted to spend some time with you."
"You are. Go get me my book."
Ling gave Ed the look that she used when she was making sexual advances that were too subtle or foreign or stupid for Ed to consider them sexual advances. "I mean, spending time together."
"Ugh, Ling," Ed moaned, flopping back against her pillows. "I hate you. I hate you! Look at me. How the fuck am I supposed to do anything when I can't fucking move?"
"Oh-don't worry about that!" Ling exclaimed. "Is that your only problem? I can make it so you don't have to move at all." She was suddenly all smiles. Apparently, the tulip-peony confusion was forgiven. Whatever.
"Seriously? This isn't exactly private here, you know. Healers wander in at all hours of the day or night," Ed pointed out, frowning. She knew Ling wouldn't care about details like that, but she did, and Ling did know about that.
Ling climbed onto the bed, apparently ignoring Ed's discomfort. "They won't come in until I tell them they can," she purred, reclining on Ed's right. "You aren't in any danger. In fact, I've nearly convinced them to let you stay in my bedroom while you recover instead of in here."
Ed did perk up a little at this. "Really?" she asked. Being out of this room would be probably about the best thing in the world at the moment.
"Really." Ling pressed a gentle kiss to Ed's neck. "But they haven't agreed yet. So for now, we will have to play here." One of her hands found its way to her stomach, massaging gently.
Despite being rather annoyed with Ling and the situation, Ed was well aware that whining would do her no good because she had no real objection to this and they both knew it. If Ling had made sure no one would come in, then no one would come in. If Ling was okay with the fact that Ed wasn't going to be able to reciprocate, then who was she to stop a good thing from happening? Ling was bound and determined to give her a good time, so she might as well sit back and enjoy it.
This time, when Ling kissed her, she kissed back. Ling murmured in pleasure, rolling slightly until she was on Ed's automail arm. Her right hand, which had been resting on Ed's stomach, delved a little lower, under the blankets. Her fingers slid over Ed's hospital gown, over her underwear, until she was right where Ed wanted her, albeit outside of the two layers of clothing present.
Ed made a tiny sound into the kiss and turned her head away. "You're sure no one is going to walk in in the middle of this, right?"
Ling laughed, her voice a little lower than normal. "I am sure, Ed."
"Carry on, then." Ed nodded.
Obediently, Ling's hand slipped between the layers of Ed's hospital gown, and then burrowed underneath the waistband of the boxers Ed still insisted were more comfortable than girly panties. One finger slid within the wetness growing there, and Ed sighed, leaning her head back against the pillows.
"Ah, Ed, you are very repressed, aren't you?" Ling chuckled, her nose pressed against Ed's jaw.
"Fuck you," Ed hissed.
"Ahaha, that isn't a very nice thing to say to the person who is making you feel so nice right now. Unless you meant that literally, in which case, I would be more than happy, but I do not think you are capable," Ling replied.
Ling's finger was a very talented finger, though, and it was difficult to stay angry with her. Ed's hips began to twitch a bit as one finger became two, and Ling started nibbling on Ed's ear. Just as her forehead broke out into a sweat, though, Ling stopped.
Ed opened one eye. "Wha...?"
"I thought we should try something different," Ling announced, pulling her hand free. She examined her fingers for a moment, and then began to lick them erotically. Ed groaned and closed her eyes again. Ling was a terrible and wonderful person. But mostly terrible.
She felt Ling move around on top of her, drawing off the blankets and then pulling down her boxers. For this part, Ed did open her eyes and wriggle around to help. She was curious as to what Ling was going to do. Well, as long as it didn't involve her toys. Ling had some really scary toys.
Ling's plan didn't involve toys, though. It involved Ed's knees being hooked over Ling's shoulder, and Ling's face heading for-oh god, her tongue? Seriously?
"Ew, Ling, that's-" Well, it would probably feel good, but gross.
"It is called cunnilingus," Ling answered huskily. "Now, lie still, Edwina, and I will make you very, very happy."
Why did Ling know more Amestrian than Ed did? Well, since it was a sex act, Ed wasn't actually surprised. And when Ling got started, she forgot about being annoyed and grossed out pretty quickly.
"Oh, fuck," Ed groaned, her head falling back on the pillows again.
Ling had to keep applying pressure to Ed's thighs to keep them from latching onto her head, but Ed didn't really care at that point. Matters proceeded from there, and Ed wound up lying on her back, damp with sweat, and in a much happier place. Ling climbed up and laid down half on top of Ed again, but Ed found that she didn't mind so much.
"I like you," Ed told Ling, glancing over at her. The feeling wasn't something that lasted long, usually, so she felt the need to express it.
Ling laughed a little and kissed her on the cheek. "I am glad."
--
A week and some maintenance later, Ed was feeling nearly one hundred percent again. That meant, however, that the other half of Ed being in Xing (researching alkahestry) needed to start up again. She was packing her suitcase when Ling waltzed into the royal bed chambers, carrying a number of long rolled up papers.
"Ed! You can't go anywhere!" she declared, sounding worried. She discarded the papers, rushing over and grabbing Ed's hands tightly.
"The reason I'm in Xing only partially has to do with you, you know," Ed sighed, rolling her eyes.
"But they rescheduled my speech!" Ling exclaimed. "I need a confidant, beautiful, battle-proven bodyguard at my side! Namely you."
"What? No! I already told you I'm never going to one of your speeches ever again!"
Ling looked sad. "But I need you. You can go on your adventure next week. Besides, that lady finally confessed to everything! It turns out her brother was one of the workers who helped to install the safe room, and she convinced him to draw his circle in the architecture there, and there were some weird chain reactions from the transmutation in the banquet hall that triggered it. He didn't even know what the circle did. So there will probably be no problems at this one!"
Ed yanked her hands away. "Forget it. I told you, no more security detail. Your guards know to look for alkahestry stuff now anyway, so you don't need me," she insisted.
Ling sighed. "Well, if you're going to be that way about it..." She moved to where she had dumped the rolled up papers and picked one up. She unfurled it on the bed. "I did want to show you one other thing before you go. Look."
Ed looked at the paper spread out on Ling's bed. It seemed to be blueprints of some variety, but Ed wasn't sure to what, since all the writing was in Xingese.
"What is this?"
"This is the palace, Ed!" Ling remarked, sounding a little annoyed. "See? This is where we are now. And if you look at the main floor..."
"Hold it," Ed stated, frowning at the indicated section of the blueprints. "That's...wait a minute." Had she seen something there? Now that she was focusing on it, it was gone again.
"Ah, you see it too? It took me a long while to figure out what I was seeing here."
"That's a transmutation circle," Ed mused, rubbing a hand over her chin. "The points...yeah, I see them. And the center? What's there?"
"That is the throne room." Ling's voice sounded more serious now. "There is nothing where the points of the circle would be, though. This entire section of the palace," and she made a generous sweep of her arm over one section, "was entirely redone about forty years ago after a big fire."
"What's the circle for?" Ed murmured, only half listening to Ling. "It's got...seven...no, nine...hmm..."
"Anyway, if you could figure out what it does and where it's hiding, I would appreciate that. Can you do that before you leave forever, Ed?" Ling asked. "Oh, my spies also discovered a bunch of old Xerxian scrolls in one of the border towns in the desert, and no one actually can read Xerxian, so I thought maybe you could look into translating a few of them for me?"
"What?" Ed tore her eyes away from the strange circle and looked up at Ling.
Ling smiled a little, stepping closer and sliding an arm around her waist. "I know you are here to study alkahestry and to improve your abilities and such, but...can't you do at least a little of that from the palace? The Empress is a very selfish woman, after all."
Ed stared at her for a long moment. Was Ling seriously engineering excuses for Ed to stay in the palace so she didn't have to or something? "...you're an idiot," she declared. "The translating can wait, but I'm a little concerned about these blueprints. I guess I could stick around a little while."
Ling grinned, leaning down to kiss Ed on the lips, and Ed didn't resist. Well, she supposed a little extra time in the palace wouldn't be so bad. Being around Ling was kind of nice. And despite having been injured and all that, that past week had been an awfully nice little vacation. And it wasn't like there wasn't plenty of alkahestry crap in the palace to look over before she started visiting the countryside and spreading she and Al's new philosophies. She didn't even speak Xingese, after all.
For however annoying and conniving Ling could be, she was also rather sweet when it came to stuff like this. Even if she was annoyingly and connivingly sweet. Ed had missed this rather intently when she had been in Amestris and Ling had been here. She probably wouldn't have even realized it if she hadn't come and then gotten stuck here for so long.
Maybe Ling had been right. Maybe, and Ed could only think this because it didn't hurt anymore and she had the full functions of both of her arms now, all of this was a blessing in disguise.
--
A/N: You can't have cunnilingus without Ling! :D