Picking up the Pieces, 11: Birthday Surprises
Title: Picking up the Pieces
Author: exquisite_ugly
Rating/Warnings: M (language, future explicit sex)
Summary: Bella returns to Forks a few years after having married Edward and moving to Alaska. Mistakes and regrets, loneliness and grief, she severs ties and returns to those she truly loves to start over. What will she come home to? AU, A/D/R, M-language/sex
*~*~*
I'm your prostitute, you gon' get some/Like a shotgun needs an outcome
I'm your prostitute, you gon' get some/Go ahead, go way low, where I can do no harm/Go ahead, go way low in my honey lovin' arms/Go ahead, go way low, where I can do no wrong/Got you around my finger like a lonely lover's charm
*~*~*
Charlie called up the stairs, "Bells, honey, are you ready to go?"
I turned my head from side to side, pondering my new, smooth hairstyle. Leah thought I might benefit from something a little different, so I did it in my desire to change something, even if that something was as simple as my hair. It hung smooth and sleek just past my shoulders, the ends twisted in a bit, to give it a more interesting look.
"I'll be right down, dad," I called back.
I liked it. It made me look a little more grown-up. The black skirt my mom had sent me for my birthday was perfect for the occasion, too. It fell to just above my knees and had a sheer overlay and swirled as I walked. A plum-colored top finished the outfit off, baring one shoulder and just a hint of cleavage. I slipped my feet into low-heeled pumps and headed downstairs.
A wolf-whistle greeted me, and I felt my cheeks flush even as I rolled my eyes. Charlie chuckled at my reaction. "Honey, you look beautiful."
It still was a little funny that we both became so much more open with each other recently, but it was nice. Charlie had been a good dad over the years, but we hadn't known each other as well, and the obsession with Edward had led to me hurting him. It was something I would have to live with, but in the end it was helping me to forge a better bond with my father.
"Thanks," I murmured, smiling slightly, pleased that he thought so.
We drove to Kokopelli Grill in Port Angeles. I knew we were meeting Sue, Billy, and Leah there for this dinner, but I was surprised into silence when I saw Jake arrive and help his dad out of the car. Things had improved a little more for us, but I hadn't thought he would come. Smiling faintly, I waved to Leah, who had a knowing little smirk on her face. I gave her a look and mouthed, "Behave."
She snickered as we headed inside. Jake was behind me, and I felt prickles of sensation all along my spine as we were led to our table. When our eyes met, he wasn't smiling, but his eyes were calm and almost warm. His eyes were so pretty.
Everyone got quiet as they perused the menu.
We all ordered the famous Smoked Salmon Chowder before choosing our entrees. The waiter set a glass of wine in front of me, and Leah leaned over, murmuring, "Don't drink too much, Swan. We both know how that goes."
I kicked her under the table, though I saw Jake's mouth quirk briefly.
"So, Jake, how's work on the school going?" Charlie asked and they were off and running.
"You keep staring at him like that everyone's going to think you want Jake as your entrée."
"You're a really frustrating friend, you know that?" I muttered back. I took a swallow of my soup and didn't grace her with a look.
She chuckled. "Yep, I'm as prickly as a cactus, or so I'm told. It's part of my charm; you learn to love it."
"Mmmm," I murmured noncommittally. "We'll see about that."
When Charlie proposed a toast, I felt my cheeks warm. He lifted his glass and said, "Happy Birthday, honey. After everything that happened, I'm glad to just be here doing something normal again, with friends and family," he added, gesturing to everyone else. "I'm proud of you, of the woman you're becoming," he finished off, looking mildly embarrassed himself.
That was big for him, and I appreciated the gesture. We clinked glasses with everyone, and I held Charlie's hand briefly under the table, and he squeezed mine in return.
Most of my gifts consisted of gift cards, but Charlie had given me a necklace that had been his mother's. It was a thin gold chain with a single pearl that rested just above my cleavage. "Thanks Dad," I said, giving him a hug. "It's beautiful."
My mom had sent me some books I had wanted and a promise of another gift; a gift I was supposed to open privately. I winced slightly at the implication, though no one seemed to catch on. It sounded like a gift she thought I needed to attract a man. She was overly fond of those. Jake was watching me when I glanced up, though, and I realized he was thinking the same thing.
Everything about him was still a little stand-offish, but his eyes were penetrative as he met mine again. My body felt flushed, and I desperately wanted to get some air. At a birthday dinner with friends and family was not a place to lust over your best friend… or someone you were working on repairing your relationship with so you could be friends again. It was too fragile, wasn't it?
It always felt as if Jake knew what I was thinking and this time was no exception. His lids lowered slightly, and I felt a gentle throb between my thighs. My eyes fluttered away from his, but my foot bumped against his under the table. Whether it was on purpose or accidentally, I wasn't sure. His leg was now against mine. I couldn't help myself, though, and I brushed my foot against his bare calf.
Jake wasn't looking at me now, but we were both hyper-aware of each other.
His calf muscle flexed slightly and I felt his leg shift to brush against mine. My toes drifted around his leg, back down to brush against his foot. His jaw muscle twitched, but again he repeated the action.
"Here Bella," Leah said suddenly, making my leg jerk.
I smiled, smoothing my skirt, thankful it was a minor jerk and I could cover it up. She was handing me an envelope, a little smirk curling her mouth. "If you're done concentrating so intently on your meal, I have a gift of my own."
Her voice oozed innuendo, but I chose to ignore it and took the envelope. I slid my finger under the flap and pulled out a card for a Mani Pedi at a nearby spa. My eyebrows rose in surprise, and Leah flashed her quick-silver grin at me.
"I could stand to use one myself so I've been told by my mother, so I got one for you, too. You could stand to be spruced up a bit," she said.
I snickered as Sue just sighed and rested her forehead in her hands. "Thanks, Leah. I've never had one, but it might be nice for when I start work."
It hadn't escaped my notice on the way home that Jake hadn't given me anything. I hadn't really expected him to; he knew my aversion to gifts, though I was much more graceful about accepting them.
"Dinner was great, dad," I told him when we got home. "Thank you!"
Upstairs, I riffled through my purse looking for my cell phone when I spotted a little box near the bottom. That hadn't been there before. Curiously, I pulled it out. It was a plain brown box. I sat on the edge of my bed and opened it.
Inside, nestled in tissue paper, was a small wooden carving of a leaf. The wood was smooth to the touch and beautiful. Upon closer examination, I realized it was a pendant for a bracelet and my insides warmed. It was from Jake and the memory and symbolism of it made me smile.
We were both trying to turn over a new leaf.
*~*~*
JPOV
I knew I was being anti-social and broody, but I couldn't seem to help myself. My apartment remained dark as I lay sprawled on my bed, the silence deafening. With a sigh, I rolled over, trying for what felt like the hundredth time to stop thinking about that moment at dinner with Bella.
She had looked so pretty tonight and her hair had been different. My fingers itched to play with it; to stroke the nape of her neck, to whisper in her ear, but instead we had played footsie. And that had been enough to turn me on.
I frowned when I heard movement outside in the hall, and I knew who it was a second before there was a knock on my door.
"Jake? You in there?" Quil's voice called out.
I got up and opened the door to him and Embry.
"See? I told you he was here being mopey."
"He's sitting in his apartment, in the dark, and it's a Saturday night. Someone needs to blow off some steam," Embry added.
I just shook my head, letting them in. They poked around curiously. "So, this is where the almighty Alpha lives."
"How did you even know I would be in tonight?"
Quil shrugged. "We saw Billy, and he said you had all gone out to dinner for Bella's birthday. We just figured that would do you in and that you'd be in your apartment instead of out on the town like you should be."
"I'll go out, but I'm not trolling. That's up to you two wankers," I added as I headed back to my room to get dressed.
We ended up playing pool. Quil was tempted to get us a couple beers, knowing it was more than likely we wouldn't be asked for identification, but stuck to soda just in case. Embry missed his shot, so I took my turn.
Quil chuckled after I made my shot. "You know, that chick over there is totally checking out your ass."
I ignored him as I set up a bank shot and made it in again. Out of curiosity, though, I turned around and saw a pretty red-head blush when I caught her staring. She grinned sheepishly and gave me a shoulder lift as if to say 'Oh well, I can't seem to help myself.'
It was still an odd sensation to be checked out by women, though one that was pleasing at least. I gave her a smile and turned back around. As Quil took his turn, I heard her making her way over to us.
"Hey, I'm Alyssa," she said, moving up beside me.
"Jacob," I said, shaking her offered hand.
"Are you from around here?"
"I have an apartment in the area, though I'm from the La Push reservation," I told her.
When she got around to asking me out, I smiled politely, and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm not really available. My friend here seems to like you, though." I couldn't resist jabbing at Quil and his eyes widened in response.
Alyssa laughed, her eyes brightening. Quil kicked me as hard and discreetly as he could, though he came over to introduce himself. They hit it off immediately, chatting away, while Embry and I got another soda. We leaned against the bar, watching Quil lamely attempt to flirt.
"It's been hard for him to meet someone," Embry said, suddenly serious.
"Really? Why's that?"
"He acts like he's a charmer, but he's awkward with women. It's hard for him to find a woman that's willing to overlook that. And losing his dad in that storm and never quite having a normal home life. We pretty much all come from broken homes, but Jared has Kim, Sam has Emily, Paul has Rachel, Seth charms everyone and has the pretty stable home. And with Claire in the picture, it makes it harder. He cares about her, but he doesn't want his life tied to hers like that."
"Anyway, I don't claim to be some Don Juan, but I do know how to talk to women. And you…" he trailed off.
I stared at Quil, realizing a couple things I had often overlooked. Quil had phased last, feeling left out, and then as a result of that phasing, had imprinted on a child. He was always happy to be around her, but there had been something off about him after that. I hadn't realized he didn't want his life to revolve around her and that was because I had deserted my friends.
"And I had been so wrapped up in getting away from certain memories that I disappeared. I was so wrapped up with one girl I lost sight of so many other things."
Embry took a sip of his soda, and we both watched Quil talk to Alyssa, his face animated. It was nice to see.
"Jake, you made mistakes. We both know how much you loved - well, love - Bella. I saw how much it destroyed you. We can't change who we love. And really, I'm a little more impressed with Bella. She's trying a lot harder and making smarter choices."
I nodded, not really wanting to discuss Bella. My feelings were so mixed up I knew I wouldn't be able to explain it without sounding like an idiot.
"Quil did manage to score a lay," Embry added, lightening the mood and giving me a wicked grin.
I laughed. "And who was that?"
"You remember Sarah from the Makah rez? She came to one of the bonfires one night."
I shook my head. "He didn't fall for her or anything did he?"
"Nah," Embry chuckled. "He was pretty much like us with our first time. We just desperately wanted to rid ourselves of that status and become men."
I snorted. "Yeah, we became men all right."
When we were ready to go, Quil was armed with Alyssa's phone number and a huge smile on his face. I slapped his back as we walked back to my apartment. "Dude, she was into you. I could tell."
"Yeah, after you turned her down," he said, his smile dimming slightly for just a second.
"Aw, man, come on. She was just misguided," Embry said lightly, giving me a punch in the arm. "She couldn't take her eyes off you after you two started talking. And she was fucking cute."
Quil grinned again as we headed upstairs.
"Why don't you two crash here for tonight? It's too long of a drive and it's kind of late," I suggested. They agreed and made use of the sofa and the one extra twin bed.
I brushed my teeth and dropped down onto my bed with a sigh. It creaked as I rolled over to stare out the window. The gift I had given Bella was a reminder to me as well; that I needed to adjust to some changes and be there for my friends and family in a way I hadn't been for awhile.
They deserved more from me, more than the half of a man I was. And I planned to try and give them that.
*~*~*
BPOV
I brushed my fingers over the little carved leaf that now dangled from the bracelet Jake had given me back before I married Edward and left home. It was so detailed. Jake had such skill with his hands. I felt the beginnings of a blush as my mind drifted to different things Jake could try with those talented hands.
Ever since that second kiss and the footsie under the table, I couldn't stop thinking about him. My mind would randomly drift to wondering how it would feel to have Jake's body pressing me down into bed, the brush of his hair over my chest, and the span of his hands over my back…
Shaking my head, I tried to dislodge my thoughts. It was my first work day - well, my orientation - and I did not need to be thinking about Jake's naked body. When I got to the office, I reported to Mrs. Hart. She would be showing me the ropes.
"Ms. Swan, it's nice to meet you," she said briskly, shaking my hand. "I'm sorry I don't have more time to spend with you, but the office is very busy. I'm going to take you around, show you where everything is, introduce you to the people you'll need to know since you'll be working with them as a team, and I will leave you with samples and articles that were written in the past by the previous woman who had this job."
"That should give you an idea of where we'll need you to start," she finished, her voice brisk.
I nodded, trying to take it all in as she showed me everything and introduced me to everyone. She led me to a little cubicle that would be mine, and I spent some time getting it set up and having the computer hooked up. I was also given a company-issued laptop, so I could work from home if need be. Lunch time came quickly, and I headed down to the cafeteria to order a half a sandwich and an apple.
Since it wasn't raining, I sat in the outside area that was for employees to eat my lunch. A woman close to my age with long, straight black hair and another woman a bit older with a short, blonde bob sat down at the table, too.
"Hey, I'm Chastity," the black-haired woman said with a smile. "You're the new girl. Isabella, right?"
I smiled back. "Yes, but I usually go by Bella. It's nice to meet you."
The other woman introduced herself as Maggie. "So, do you live nearby?" Chastity asked taking a bite of her sandwich.
"Not too far," I said. "I'm living with my father currently in Forks until I can find an affordable apartment. I moved back into the area not long ago, and I want to make sure we're both settled enough before I make the move."
"That's nice of you," Maggie commented. "Where were you living?"
"Alaska," I murmured. Suddenly, I didn't feel quite so confident or comfortable anymore.
Chastity seemed to take notice and changed the subject. They informed me of who to avoid, the type of workload I would get since they knew the person who had the job before me, and where to get better sandwiches.
"Hey, good luck, Bella," Chastity said crumbling up her trash. "If you need help, you can ask us."
I followed them back inside and thanked them, happy that I had met two nice people on the first day, especially after I got back to my desk and saw one of the cubicle-dwellers give me a cold look. It didn't look like everyone was going to be nice. I was given old back-issue papers with the order to read through them to have a better understanding of what I would be writing.
The day had gone pretty fast, and it was still before dinner time, so I decided to take down the two trays of lasagna I had made. It was for the whole pack, but deep down I knew it was mainly because I just wanted to see Jake again. I hadn't talked to him since the night of my birthday dinner, though I had left him a message thanking him for the gift.
So, I packed up the lasagnas and changed into jeans and a dark green tank-top with straps that criss-crossed over my back. I gave my hair a quick brush, perused myself before adding a little bit of lip gloss, and drove to the rez. They guys were still hard at work, so I took the trays inside Billy's house. Billy was at the table, carving, and he looked up and gave me a small smile.
"You come bearing food? That will make the guys happy," he said. "I wonder if I'll get a piece."
I laughed. "I'll make sure to tell Jake that you get the first piece."
He stayed quiet while I preheated the oven. "Do you happen to have any salad?" I asked.
"Actually, we do. Jake has been making me eat even healthier lately."
I found what I needed and got the salad ready and put the lasagna in the oven. Billy's head was bent over his work, but I hesitated. "Billy?" I said quietly.
When he looked up at me, I just blurted it out. "I'm not sure what you even think of me because of what happened, but I just wanted to say that I really am here to stay. This is my life now; there is no chance of me going back to… them. I should have listened to your warnings and kept my distance right from the beginning. I just wanted you to… know that," I said, trailing off, and feeling silly.
Billy watched me calmly until I started to feel kind of twitchy. He was a man of few words and even less expressions of emotion, which made it hard to gauge what he was thinking. Biting my lip, I tried to maintain eye contact.
He nodded suddenly. "I can see that. And I'm glad you're back."
Apparently, that was all he had to say, but the small smile curving his broad lips made me feel better. Billy didn't say much, but he was showing me he accepted that and had forgiven me in some way, too, for what happened with Jacob.
"Thank you," I whispered before heading outside.
I glanced up and froze briefly. Lila was here? She was standing over by the basic structure of the school, a camera in hand, and talking to Jake. What was going on? My stomach suddenly felt sick.
Embry came up behind me. "Bella, it's not…"
I just nodded briefly at him, knowing he was going to say it wasn't what it looked like. It probably wasn't, but seeing them talking, and Jake smiling made me wonder if Jake could have been happier without me. Swallowing hard, I mustered a small smile for Embry and hurried toward my truck. The guys had caught the scent and were all waving at me, calling out their thanks, which brought Jake's attention to me.
Our eyes locked briefly. I gave him a quick and most likely painful grin and opened the truck door. Lila had just left, and Jake jogged over to me before I could follow.
"Bella," he sighed. "I know what you're thinking…"
"We're not together," I said softly, the knife twisting deeper into my heart. "Maybe I should do the right thing and tell you its okay to choose whoever you want. I've put you through enough. You might need someone who's better for you. That's the right thing to do."
"Bella, stop being so damn noble. I had made a promise to Lila that she could keep documenting this project. She's a good person and was here to cover the beginning stages. I would have warned you, but I didn't realize you were coming."
I nodded, though I still felt off-balance.
He set my world into a tailspin by pinning me against the truck and kissing me. It was a hungry kiss, and he tasted of sun and sweat, of pine and something that just made me think of him. His mouth angled over mine, demanding access, and I couldn't stop myself from opening to him.
His eyes remained open and on mine, so I did the same. His fingers grazed the skin bared between the straps of my tank-top as he nipped my lower lip. I moaned when he pulled away, though his lips went to my throat. He gave the skin there another quick nip before moving away.
"We'll talk later," he said, his voice husky and frustrated.
I drove home in a daze. I watched a little television with Charlie and we ate dinner. I was feeling confused and a bit morose even with Jake's explanation, so it was a good distraction. Charlie was covering the night shift for someone, so after he left, I headed upstairs to shower and change into thin, gray sweats and a worn blue tank-top. Downstairs, I made myself a cup of tea, figuring I would read a little before going to bed, when there was a knock on the door.
It was Jake.
My heart thundered in my chest as he deliberately stepped inside and shut the door. "I know you're still wondering and worrying. Well, so am I," he said, his tone annoyed.
"What about?" I responded, feeling my hackles rise. Why this always happened was confusing. We could be nice, almost friends again, except for when this type of conversation came up.
"Be honest," he stressed. "Why the hell did you leave Edward?"
Immediately irritated, I crossed my arms over my chest. "I don't want to do this now."
"Well, too bad," he snapped. "You owe me that. We obviously have some unresolved issues between us, yet we like to make-out, and I want to fucking know the answer."
"It's confusing," I said coldly, feeling my hands begin to tremble.
"So make it less confusing. Tell me," he growled.
"Because I'm in love with you!" I yelled.
It was instantaneous. I felt exposed and vulnerable, like a raw nerve. He could hurt me so much now, and I was terrified. Our lives were different, we were different, and now I admitted it after such a failed attempt at a relationship before… and I didn't know what to do.
I was shaking now, fear of him having this knowledge and not knowing what he would do was imprinted in every line of my body, but then suddenly I felt Jake's warmth.
He was carrying me upstairs.
Chapter 12
*~*~*
AN: Nice place to leave it, huh? ;o) Even with what's happening, it doesn't mean everything is going to be all sunny, though! There is still stuff unsaid. Do you think they should wait or just go for it? I already have next chapter mostly planned, but curious as to what you think. Hope you enjoyed! :o)
Author: exquisite_ugly
Rating/Warnings: M (language, future explicit sex)
Summary: Bella returns to Forks a few years after having married Edward and moving to Alaska. Mistakes and regrets, loneliness and grief, she severs ties and returns to those she truly loves to start over. What will she come home to? AU, A/D/R, M-language/sex
*~*~*
I'm your prostitute, you gon' get some/Like a shotgun needs an outcome
I'm your prostitute, you gon' get some/Go ahead, go way low, where I can do no harm/Go ahead, go way low in my honey lovin' arms/Go ahead, go way low, where I can do no wrong/Got you around my finger like a lonely lover's charm
*~*~*
Charlie called up the stairs, "Bells, honey, are you ready to go?"
I turned my head from side to side, pondering my new, smooth hairstyle. Leah thought I might benefit from something a little different, so I did it in my desire to change something, even if that something was as simple as my hair. It hung smooth and sleek just past my shoulders, the ends twisted in a bit, to give it a more interesting look.
"I'll be right down, dad," I called back.
I liked it. It made me look a little more grown-up. The black skirt my mom had sent me for my birthday was perfect for the occasion, too. It fell to just above my knees and had a sheer overlay and swirled as I walked. A plum-colored top finished the outfit off, baring one shoulder and just a hint of cleavage. I slipped my feet into low-heeled pumps and headed downstairs.
A wolf-whistle greeted me, and I felt my cheeks flush even as I rolled my eyes. Charlie chuckled at my reaction. "Honey, you look beautiful."
It still was a little funny that we both became so much more open with each other recently, but it was nice. Charlie had been a good dad over the years, but we hadn't known each other as well, and the obsession with Edward had led to me hurting him. It was something I would have to live with, but in the end it was helping me to forge a better bond with my father.
"Thanks," I murmured, smiling slightly, pleased that he thought so.
We drove to Kokopelli Grill in Port Angeles. I knew we were meeting Sue, Billy, and Leah there for this dinner, but I was surprised into silence when I saw Jake arrive and help his dad out of the car. Things had improved a little more for us, but I hadn't thought he would come. Smiling faintly, I waved to Leah, who had a knowing little smirk on her face. I gave her a look and mouthed, "Behave."
She snickered as we headed inside. Jake was behind me, and I felt prickles of sensation all along my spine as we were led to our table. When our eyes met, he wasn't smiling, but his eyes were calm and almost warm. His eyes were so pretty.
Everyone got quiet as they perused the menu.
We all ordered the famous Smoked Salmon Chowder before choosing our entrees. The waiter set a glass of wine in front of me, and Leah leaned over, murmuring, "Don't drink too much, Swan. We both know how that goes."
I kicked her under the table, though I saw Jake's mouth quirk briefly.
"So, Jake, how's work on the school going?" Charlie asked and they were off and running.
"You keep staring at him like that everyone's going to think you want Jake as your entrée."
"You're a really frustrating friend, you know that?" I muttered back. I took a swallow of my soup and didn't grace her with a look.
She chuckled. "Yep, I'm as prickly as a cactus, or so I'm told. It's part of my charm; you learn to love it."
"Mmmm," I murmured noncommittally. "We'll see about that."
When Charlie proposed a toast, I felt my cheeks warm. He lifted his glass and said, "Happy Birthday, honey. After everything that happened, I'm glad to just be here doing something normal again, with friends and family," he added, gesturing to everyone else. "I'm proud of you, of the woman you're becoming," he finished off, looking mildly embarrassed himself.
That was big for him, and I appreciated the gesture. We clinked glasses with everyone, and I held Charlie's hand briefly under the table, and he squeezed mine in return.
Most of my gifts consisted of gift cards, but Charlie had given me a necklace that had been his mother's. It was a thin gold chain with a single pearl that rested just above my cleavage. "Thanks Dad," I said, giving him a hug. "It's beautiful."
My mom had sent me some books I had wanted and a promise of another gift; a gift I was supposed to open privately. I winced slightly at the implication, though no one seemed to catch on. It sounded like a gift she thought I needed to attract a man. She was overly fond of those. Jake was watching me when I glanced up, though, and I realized he was thinking the same thing.
Everything about him was still a little stand-offish, but his eyes were penetrative as he met mine again. My body felt flushed, and I desperately wanted to get some air. At a birthday dinner with friends and family was not a place to lust over your best friend… or someone you were working on repairing your relationship with so you could be friends again. It was too fragile, wasn't it?
It always felt as if Jake knew what I was thinking and this time was no exception. His lids lowered slightly, and I felt a gentle throb between my thighs. My eyes fluttered away from his, but my foot bumped against his under the table. Whether it was on purpose or accidentally, I wasn't sure. His leg was now against mine. I couldn't help myself, though, and I brushed my foot against his bare calf.
Jake wasn't looking at me now, but we were both hyper-aware of each other.
His calf muscle flexed slightly and I felt his leg shift to brush against mine. My toes drifted around his leg, back down to brush against his foot. His jaw muscle twitched, but again he repeated the action.
"Here Bella," Leah said suddenly, making my leg jerk.
I smiled, smoothing my skirt, thankful it was a minor jerk and I could cover it up. She was handing me an envelope, a little smirk curling her mouth. "If you're done concentrating so intently on your meal, I have a gift of my own."
Her voice oozed innuendo, but I chose to ignore it and took the envelope. I slid my finger under the flap and pulled out a card for a Mani Pedi at a nearby spa. My eyebrows rose in surprise, and Leah flashed her quick-silver grin at me.
"I could stand to use one myself so I've been told by my mother, so I got one for you, too. You could stand to be spruced up a bit," she said.
I snickered as Sue just sighed and rested her forehead in her hands. "Thanks, Leah. I've never had one, but it might be nice for when I start work."
It hadn't escaped my notice on the way home that Jake hadn't given me anything. I hadn't really expected him to; he knew my aversion to gifts, though I was much more graceful about accepting them.
"Dinner was great, dad," I told him when we got home. "Thank you!"
Upstairs, I riffled through my purse looking for my cell phone when I spotted a little box near the bottom. That hadn't been there before. Curiously, I pulled it out. It was a plain brown box. I sat on the edge of my bed and opened it.
Inside, nestled in tissue paper, was a small wooden carving of a leaf. The wood was smooth to the touch and beautiful. Upon closer examination, I realized it was a pendant for a bracelet and my insides warmed. It was from Jake and the memory and symbolism of it made me smile.
We were both trying to turn over a new leaf.
*~*~*
JPOV
I knew I was being anti-social and broody, but I couldn't seem to help myself. My apartment remained dark as I lay sprawled on my bed, the silence deafening. With a sigh, I rolled over, trying for what felt like the hundredth time to stop thinking about that moment at dinner with Bella.
She had looked so pretty tonight and her hair had been different. My fingers itched to play with it; to stroke the nape of her neck, to whisper in her ear, but instead we had played footsie. And that had been enough to turn me on.
I frowned when I heard movement outside in the hall, and I knew who it was a second before there was a knock on my door.
"Jake? You in there?" Quil's voice called out.
I got up and opened the door to him and Embry.
"See? I told you he was here being mopey."
"He's sitting in his apartment, in the dark, and it's a Saturday night. Someone needs to blow off some steam," Embry added.
I just shook my head, letting them in. They poked around curiously. "So, this is where the almighty Alpha lives."
"How did you even know I would be in tonight?"
Quil shrugged. "We saw Billy, and he said you had all gone out to dinner for Bella's birthday. We just figured that would do you in and that you'd be in your apartment instead of out on the town like you should be."
"I'll go out, but I'm not trolling. That's up to you two wankers," I added as I headed back to my room to get dressed.
We ended up playing pool. Quil was tempted to get us a couple beers, knowing it was more than likely we wouldn't be asked for identification, but stuck to soda just in case. Embry missed his shot, so I took my turn.
Quil chuckled after I made my shot. "You know, that chick over there is totally checking out your ass."
I ignored him as I set up a bank shot and made it in again. Out of curiosity, though, I turned around and saw a pretty red-head blush when I caught her staring. She grinned sheepishly and gave me a shoulder lift as if to say 'Oh well, I can't seem to help myself.'
It was still an odd sensation to be checked out by women, though one that was pleasing at least. I gave her a smile and turned back around. As Quil took his turn, I heard her making her way over to us.
"Hey, I'm Alyssa," she said, moving up beside me.
"Jacob," I said, shaking her offered hand.
"Are you from around here?"
"I have an apartment in the area, though I'm from the La Push reservation," I told her.
When she got around to asking me out, I smiled politely, and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm not really available. My friend here seems to like you, though." I couldn't resist jabbing at Quil and his eyes widened in response.
Alyssa laughed, her eyes brightening. Quil kicked me as hard and discreetly as he could, though he came over to introduce himself. They hit it off immediately, chatting away, while Embry and I got another soda. We leaned against the bar, watching Quil lamely attempt to flirt.
"It's been hard for him to meet someone," Embry said, suddenly serious.
"Really? Why's that?"
"He acts like he's a charmer, but he's awkward with women. It's hard for him to find a woman that's willing to overlook that. And losing his dad in that storm and never quite having a normal home life. We pretty much all come from broken homes, but Jared has Kim, Sam has Emily, Paul has Rachel, Seth charms everyone and has the pretty stable home. And with Claire in the picture, it makes it harder. He cares about her, but he doesn't want his life tied to hers like that."
"Anyway, I don't claim to be some Don Juan, but I do know how to talk to women. And you…" he trailed off.
I stared at Quil, realizing a couple things I had often overlooked. Quil had phased last, feeling left out, and then as a result of that phasing, had imprinted on a child. He was always happy to be around her, but there had been something off about him after that. I hadn't realized he didn't want his life to revolve around her and that was because I had deserted my friends.
"And I had been so wrapped up in getting away from certain memories that I disappeared. I was so wrapped up with one girl I lost sight of so many other things."
Embry took a sip of his soda, and we both watched Quil talk to Alyssa, his face animated. It was nice to see.
"Jake, you made mistakes. We both know how much you loved - well, love - Bella. I saw how much it destroyed you. We can't change who we love. And really, I'm a little more impressed with Bella. She's trying a lot harder and making smarter choices."
I nodded, not really wanting to discuss Bella. My feelings were so mixed up I knew I wouldn't be able to explain it without sounding like an idiot.
"Quil did manage to score a lay," Embry added, lightening the mood and giving me a wicked grin.
I laughed. "And who was that?"
"You remember Sarah from the Makah rez? She came to one of the bonfires one night."
I shook my head. "He didn't fall for her or anything did he?"
"Nah," Embry chuckled. "He was pretty much like us with our first time. We just desperately wanted to rid ourselves of that status and become men."
I snorted. "Yeah, we became men all right."
When we were ready to go, Quil was armed with Alyssa's phone number and a huge smile on his face. I slapped his back as we walked back to my apartment. "Dude, she was into you. I could tell."
"Yeah, after you turned her down," he said, his smile dimming slightly for just a second.
"Aw, man, come on. She was just misguided," Embry said lightly, giving me a punch in the arm. "She couldn't take her eyes off you after you two started talking. And she was fucking cute."
Quil grinned again as we headed upstairs.
"Why don't you two crash here for tonight? It's too long of a drive and it's kind of late," I suggested. They agreed and made use of the sofa and the one extra twin bed.
I brushed my teeth and dropped down onto my bed with a sigh. It creaked as I rolled over to stare out the window. The gift I had given Bella was a reminder to me as well; that I needed to adjust to some changes and be there for my friends and family in a way I hadn't been for awhile.
They deserved more from me, more than the half of a man I was. And I planned to try and give them that.
*~*~*
BPOV
I brushed my fingers over the little carved leaf that now dangled from the bracelet Jake had given me back before I married Edward and left home. It was so detailed. Jake had such skill with his hands. I felt the beginnings of a blush as my mind drifted to different things Jake could try with those talented hands.
Ever since that second kiss and the footsie under the table, I couldn't stop thinking about him. My mind would randomly drift to wondering how it would feel to have Jake's body pressing me down into bed, the brush of his hair over my chest, and the span of his hands over my back…
Shaking my head, I tried to dislodge my thoughts. It was my first work day - well, my orientation - and I did not need to be thinking about Jake's naked body. When I got to the office, I reported to Mrs. Hart. She would be showing me the ropes.
"Ms. Swan, it's nice to meet you," she said briskly, shaking my hand. "I'm sorry I don't have more time to spend with you, but the office is very busy. I'm going to take you around, show you where everything is, introduce you to the people you'll need to know since you'll be working with them as a team, and I will leave you with samples and articles that were written in the past by the previous woman who had this job."
"That should give you an idea of where we'll need you to start," she finished, her voice brisk.
I nodded, trying to take it all in as she showed me everything and introduced me to everyone. She led me to a little cubicle that would be mine, and I spent some time getting it set up and having the computer hooked up. I was also given a company-issued laptop, so I could work from home if need be. Lunch time came quickly, and I headed down to the cafeteria to order a half a sandwich and an apple.
Since it wasn't raining, I sat in the outside area that was for employees to eat my lunch. A woman close to my age with long, straight black hair and another woman a bit older with a short, blonde bob sat down at the table, too.
"Hey, I'm Chastity," the black-haired woman said with a smile. "You're the new girl. Isabella, right?"
I smiled back. "Yes, but I usually go by Bella. It's nice to meet you."
The other woman introduced herself as Maggie. "So, do you live nearby?" Chastity asked taking a bite of her sandwich.
"Not too far," I said. "I'm living with my father currently in Forks until I can find an affordable apartment. I moved back into the area not long ago, and I want to make sure we're both settled enough before I make the move."
"That's nice of you," Maggie commented. "Where were you living?"
"Alaska," I murmured. Suddenly, I didn't feel quite so confident or comfortable anymore.
Chastity seemed to take notice and changed the subject. They informed me of who to avoid, the type of workload I would get since they knew the person who had the job before me, and where to get better sandwiches.
"Hey, good luck, Bella," Chastity said crumbling up her trash. "If you need help, you can ask us."
I followed them back inside and thanked them, happy that I had met two nice people on the first day, especially after I got back to my desk and saw one of the cubicle-dwellers give me a cold look. It didn't look like everyone was going to be nice. I was given old back-issue papers with the order to read through them to have a better understanding of what I would be writing.
The day had gone pretty fast, and it was still before dinner time, so I decided to take down the two trays of lasagna I had made. It was for the whole pack, but deep down I knew it was mainly because I just wanted to see Jake again. I hadn't talked to him since the night of my birthday dinner, though I had left him a message thanking him for the gift.
So, I packed up the lasagnas and changed into jeans and a dark green tank-top with straps that criss-crossed over my back. I gave my hair a quick brush, perused myself before adding a little bit of lip gloss, and drove to the rez. They guys were still hard at work, so I took the trays inside Billy's house. Billy was at the table, carving, and he looked up and gave me a small smile.
"You come bearing food? That will make the guys happy," he said. "I wonder if I'll get a piece."
I laughed. "I'll make sure to tell Jake that you get the first piece."
He stayed quiet while I preheated the oven. "Do you happen to have any salad?" I asked.
"Actually, we do. Jake has been making me eat even healthier lately."
I found what I needed and got the salad ready and put the lasagna in the oven. Billy's head was bent over his work, but I hesitated. "Billy?" I said quietly.
When he looked up at me, I just blurted it out. "I'm not sure what you even think of me because of what happened, but I just wanted to say that I really am here to stay. This is my life now; there is no chance of me going back to… them. I should have listened to your warnings and kept my distance right from the beginning. I just wanted you to… know that," I said, trailing off, and feeling silly.
Billy watched me calmly until I started to feel kind of twitchy. He was a man of few words and even less expressions of emotion, which made it hard to gauge what he was thinking. Biting my lip, I tried to maintain eye contact.
He nodded suddenly. "I can see that. And I'm glad you're back."
Apparently, that was all he had to say, but the small smile curving his broad lips made me feel better. Billy didn't say much, but he was showing me he accepted that and had forgiven me in some way, too, for what happened with Jacob.
"Thank you," I whispered before heading outside.
I glanced up and froze briefly. Lila was here? She was standing over by the basic structure of the school, a camera in hand, and talking to Jake. What was going on? My stomach suddenly felt sick.
Embry came up behind me. "Bella, it's not…"
I just nodded briefly at him, knowing he was going to say it wasn't what it looked like. It probably wasn't, but seeing them talking, and Jake smiling made me wonder if Jake could have been happier without me. Swallowing hard, I mustered a small smile for Embry and hurried toward my truck. The guys had caught the scent and were all waving at me, calling out their thanks, which brought Jake's attention to me.
Our eyes locked briefly. I gave him a quick and most likely painful grin and opened the truck door. Lila had just left, and Jake jogged over to me before I could follow.
"Bella," he sighed. "I know what you're thinking…"
"We're not together," I said softly, the knife twisting deeper into my heart. "Maybe I should do the right thing and tell you its okay to choose whoever you want. I've put you through enough. You might need someone who's better for you. That's the right thing to do."
"Bella, stop being so damn noble. I had made a promise to Lila that she could keep documenting this project. She's a good person and was here to cover the beginning stages. I would have warned you, but I didn't realize you were coming."
I nodded, though I still felt off-balance.
He set my world into a tailspin by pinning me against the truck and kissing me. It was a hungry kiss, and he tasted of sun and sweat, of pine and something that just made me think of him. His mouth angled over mine, demanding access, and I couldn't stop myself from opening to him.
His eyes remained open and on mine, so I did the same. His fingers grazed the skin bared between the straps of my tank-top as he nipped my lower lip. I moaned when he pulled away, though his lips went to my throat. He gave the skin there another quick nip before moving away.
"We'll talk later," he said, his voice husky and frustrated.
I drove home in a daze. I watched a little television with Charlie and we ate dinner. I was feeling confused and a bit morose even with Jake's explanation, so it was a good distraction. Charlie was covering the night shift for someone, so after he left, I headed upstairs to shower and change into thin, gray sweats and a worn blue tank-top. Downstairs, I made myself a cup of tea, figuring I would read a little before going to bed, when there was a knock on the door.
It was Jake.
My heart thundered in my chest as he deliberately stepped inside and shut the door. "I know you're still wondering and worrying. Well, so am I," he said, his tone annoyed.
"What about?" I responded, feeling my hackles rise. Why this always happened was confusing. We could be nice, almost friends again, except for when this type of conversation came up.
"Be honest," he stressed. "Why the hell did you leave Edward?"
Immediately irritated, I crossed my arms over my chest. "I don't want to do this now."
"Well, too bad," he snapped. "You owe me that. We obviously have some unresolved issues between us, yet we like to make-out, and I want to fucking know the answer."
"It's confusing," I said coldly, feeling my hands begin to tremble.
"So make it less confusing. Tell me," he growled.
"Because I'm in love with you!" I yelled.
It was instantaneous. I felt exposed and vulnerable, like a raw nerve. He could hurt me so much now, and I was terrified. Our lives were different, we were different, and now I admitted it after such a failed attempt at a relationship before… and I didn't know what to do.
I was shaking now, fear of him having this knowledge and not knowing what he would do was imprinted in every line of my body, but then suddenly I felt Jake's warmth.
He was carrying me upstairs.
Chapter 12
*~*~*
AN: Nice place to leave it, huh? ;o) Even with what's happening, it doesn't mean everything is going to be all sunny, though! There is still stuff unsaid. Do you think they should wait or just go for it? I already have next chapter mostly planned, but curious as to what you think. Hope you enjoyed! :o)