a dilemma about the future

[pikapolonica]

Lately I have been trying to decide what I want to do with my life in the future. A period in my career is slowly getting to an end and I am considering if I want to stay where I am (may be difficult, I'd probably need to find a new job), go back home (very bad for my career), go somewhere else for a short time, like a year or two (probably the

Comments

[hereinparis]

I'm so happy you posted this! I feel the exact same way right now. My parents are both quite healthy now, but I feel guilty that I am moving away from them during the "good years". I dread the idea of living far away from them, but at the same time I dread the idea of living in my home town. It is a very problem. Blech. Makes my stomach turn just thinking about it.

Anyway, I'm really no help at all, but I am curious to see what the replies will be. Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting!!!!!

~Ang

[thecnote]

I recently made the decision not to move home, and I had the same kind of guilt over my grandma. She is 92 and in remarkably good health, but of course 92 is old no matter how you look at it. She was the best, possibly only, reason for me to move back home, but in the end it really wasn't what I wanted to do.

I called her the other night to tell her I wasn't coming back as planned, and it really killed me to give her the news. It was SO hard. But she very genuinely replied that I had to do whatever I thought was best for me. I'm sure your parents love you and would tell you the same.

Guilt is not a great basis for a major life decision. You have to go where you want to go. Make plans to visit home a little more often as a concession!

[pyota]

in my opinion you can't have it all. you have to figure out what is most important to you and have that. as for your parents getting old, this is something everyone goes through and your moving back close to them would not slow it down. its always difficult to balance independence with caring for your parents but the bottom line is to be there when the going gets rough; whereas they sound pretty ambulatory currently.

[mansikka]

I posted about this a few months ago. And basically, I (as a very free-spirited, independent, buck-the-grain kind of person) think that family is important, while they're still here. I am right now in my native (not expat) country, not because I want to be, but because I feel I should be. My family is also getting old. So in the meantime,I'm investing in career experience that may be useful in the future in any of a number of countries. So while it hurts to suck it up and plan for the future-future, it's perhaps the best instead of living for the today-future. I'm also a huge, HUGE fan of compromise. If there's a country closer to your home country where your career has more of a following and understanding, that'd be golden. That way you're closer to your family but doing what you love, and in another country to boot.

Good luck with your decisions. Having been there, and still ironing things out in my own life, I definitely empathise!

[devilettenyc]

hi. what lovely writing that was.

i moved away when i was 24 to go live crazy places. I came to england to go to college again 2 years ago. now my visa is up. I relaized i could live here but i want to try & do my art in america for so many reasons. I am moving home for 6 months to stay with my mom & spedn time with her. she is not old, but her health is not great. when else am i going to do that? My dad died unexpectedly 3 years ago & it made me realize life is tooprecious, so I NEED to spend time with Mom.

after 6 months, tne brit boyfriend will move over & we will move out West. BUt i can alwasy be glad that altho it's not ideal to move to Ohio, I am going to, for all the right reasons.

good luck to you.