FIC: No Map for Our Travels - Part Two [Jared/Jensen femslash, NC-17]

[exmanhater]

Masterpost | Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Epilogue | Outtakes | Art



Jensen shifted nervously in front of the entrance to the bar, tugging at the top Danneel had poured her into. It was tighter than anything she'd worn in a long time, with a low neckline ("it's not low," Danneel had protested, "it just doesn’t cover your whole neck!") and soft, naturally clingy fabric. The jeans were too tight as well, but at least she hadn't been forced into a skirt, and her hair was fixed normally, down around her face, with her bangs side-swept around her black, chunky glasses. Still, she was getting more attention from people than usual, and she wasn't sure she liked it. She pulled her jacket tighter.

She hadn't been to this particular bar since the beginning of her first year in Portland, and for good reason. It was too loud and dark, full of the kind of people Jensen usually avoided like the plague. She wasn't sure how she felt about coming back now, but Jay had wanted to know about the hot spots, and this was it, so she'd just have to suffer through it. Jensen started second-guessing herself as she waited - what if Jay hadn't meant this type of place? - and told her brain firmly to shut up.

After another moment of doing her best to avoid meeting anyone's gaze, Jensen felt a hand on her elbow and whirled around ready to yell, only to see Jay standing there, a hopeful smile on her face. She was wearing a crazy patchwork skirt in a riot of colors, purple leggings, and battered-looking doc martens that made her legs look even longer than usual, and Jensen had to work hard to avoid staring. Her brown hair fell down over her shoulders, and her typical t-shirt and hoodie combo was in place, but the hoodie was unzipped and the t-shirt seemed tighter than usual, outlining the slim curve of her breasts in a new and wholly distracting way. Jensen had a vivid flashback to the night before, picturing again what it would be like to see Jay naked, to touch her. God, she shouldn't have done that. Now she wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else all night.

"Hi," Jay said. "You ready to go inside?" Her smile got a little strange around the edges as she spoke, and her eyes grew wide. "Wow - you look - different."

Jensen shrugged uncomfortably. "Danneel likes to play dress-up," she said. "Come on, let's go get a drink."

They went inside and found a free table, and Jensen immediately offered to go get them each a drink, just to give herself some time to get it together.

"What do you want?" she asked, speaking loudly to be heard over the thumping of the music.

"Oh, um - a beer, I guess?" Jay tugged at her shirt, looking anywhere but at Jensen. "Whatever's good, you pick for me."

"Okay, just a sec." Jensen fought her way to the bar, grateful for how quickly the bartender took her order, even if he spent their whole conversation staring at her breasts. She took the two beers back to the table, squaring her shoulders. This was stupid, she liked Jay - it didn't need to be this weird. Her brain wasn't quite connected to her mouth, however, because the only thing she said once she'd given Jay her drink was "happy to be done with the quarter?"

Jay took a sip of her beer and nodded. "Yeah, it's nice to sleep in again for a while. Are you glad to be done?"

"I've still got to submit grades for Sam - Dr. Ferris - and my other profs," Jensen said. "Are you going home for the break?"

"Yeah," Jay said, gulping down another swallow of beer. "My mom's really into celebrating the solstice, so I have to go home and - it's really weird, I don't need to go into detail."

"No," Jensen protested. "I like hearing your stories."

Jay smiled and opened her mouth, but just as she started to speak, a baseball cap hit her in the head, then dropped to the floor. Jensen and Jay both stared as the cap's owner dove to the floor to grab it, then stood up and leered at Jay.

"Hey, sorry," he said, not lifting his eyes from Jay's chest. "My buddies were messing with me, but I'm glad it brought me over here."

"It's okay," Jay said, crossing her arms over her chest. Jensen scowled at the guy, moments from punching him.

"Hey, do you mind?" she said. "We're having a conversation."

The guy turned to her briefly, then went back to staring at Jay. "You with this dyke, sweetheart?" he asked. "Cuz let me tell you, you can do better."

Jay put out a hand to stop Jensen from standing. "What, like you?" she asked scornfully. "I don't think so."

The guy muttered under his breath, but when Jensen and Jay pointedly ignored him, he left, leaving them awkwardly holding their beers.

"I'm so sorry," Jensen said eventually. She couldn't believe how badly this was going. This seemed like sitcom-level bad luck, and she didn't know how to change it.

"Not your fault," Jay replied. "Wow, I've never had someone hit on me so badly before."

Jensen laughed, and they drank in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes.

Jensen swallowed the last of her drink, and looked up, wanting to do something to get them both relaxed again. She reached over to nudge Jay's shoulder, and their eyes met. Jay looked miserable, and Jensen realized that she never would have pegged Jay as the trendy bar type if Jay hadn't asked specifically for a hot spot. Maybe Jay had been just as worried about making a good impression as Jensen had. Maybe they'd both be happier somewhere else, a place where drunken fratboys were less likely to hit on them.

Jensen opened her mouth just as Jay did.

"Hey, do you want to go - "

"This isn't really my kind of - "

They both laughed and Jensen felt the tension start melting away.

"So," she said, caught in a fit of bravery. "I like you, and I might have forgotten how well we usually get along, and panicked about you not having a good time with me because I'm so boring, and we never actually said this was a date, and then that guy…"

Jay's smile got so wide Jensen worried about the structural integrity of her face.

"You are so far from boring," Jay said. "I almost had a panic attack when I saw you dressed so fancy, and I've been worried about being too young and stupid for you all night, and freaked out that this was my one chance to convince you to date me."

"Well, then," Jensen said, standing up and holding out a hand. "Would you like to go get some pizza and see how this dating thing goes?"

"I'd love to," Jay replied, taking Jensen's hand and not letting go, even after they left the bar. Jensen steered them toward her favorite pizza place, conveniently nearby, and felt hope tripping wildly in her chest. They didn't talk as they walked, but it wasn't an awkward silence any longer.

At Charlie's, a huge pepperoni pizza on the table and Jay across from her, inhaling her second slice, Jensen relaxed completely.

"I totally didn't think you liked girls," Jay admitted in between bites, ducking her head, then looking up at Jensen through her lashes. "I'm glad I was wrong."

"Mostly just you," Jensen replied honestly. "I, uh, didn't really think about it until you, but I didn't think much about anyone that way, guy or girl."

"Oh," Jay said. "Um, sorry?"

"No, it's a good thing, believe me." Jensen let her eyes linger on Jay's mouth, almost unconsciously. "I needed a reality check."

Jay licked her lips and smiled, pointing to her eyes. "They're up here," she said, and Jensen gaped for a second before smiling back.

"Sorry," Jensen said. "Why don't you tell me the story about your mom and solstice? Talking about our families, that's appropriate date conversation, right?"

Jay laughed, tugging at the hair falling forward over her face as she leaned in closer. "My family is never appropriate conversation, but I talk about them anyway."

"They seem more interesting than mine," Jensen offered. "My mom works for the school district near Dallas, and my dad's a business guy, all very boring."

"You're from Texas?"

"Yeah, but I went to college in Seattle, and I haven't lived in Richardson since high school. What, I don't sound like it?"

"Well, no, you don't," Jay said. "But that's where my parents are from - San Antonio. They moved to San Francisco - well, outside of it, anyway - before I was born, and they don't talk about their lives before the move very often."

"And now they live in a collective?" Jensen tried not to sound too skeptical, but Jay just laughed and nodded.

"Yeah, but it's basically just a big farm that they run with their best friends, not anything super formal." Jay took another bite of pizza and swallowed. "But they have a big solstice celebration every year, so I have to be home for that, or my mom thinks the new year won't be properly aligned or something."

"She sounds pretty fun," Jensen said. She could listen to Jay talk about almost anything, but this was especially enjoyable. Jay lit up when she talked about her family.

"Yeah," Jay nodded, and smiled again. "What do you do for the holidays?"

"Well, my family's pretty standard when it comes to those - we do the secular Christmas extravaganza." Jensen rubbed at the back of her neck. "I usually go visit for a few days before Christmas, when my brother can get time off and my sister's on winter break, but then I come back home to celebrate Christmas night with Danneel, and Misha and Vicki."

"Wow, you guys are really good friends."

Jensen grimaced. It wasn't entirely her story to tell, but Danneel really wouldn't mind, so she forged ahead. "Well, yeah, we are, but - Danny's parents kind of disowned her back in college, our junior year when she came out to them, so she and Misha and I made our own traditions. My family wants me to spend more time with them, but they understand about Danny."

Frowning, Jay kicked at something under the table. It was probably the first time Jensen had ever seen her look actively mad about anything. "That's such bullshit," she growled. "I can't believe anyone would do that to their own daughter! Poor Danneel."

"She's come out of it pretty well," Jensen said. "But, yeah, it was awful. I didn't want to leave her alone, so Misha's parents took all three of us in that first year, for like a week, and I think being smothered in homemade jam and cleansing yoga sessions really helped to take her mind off of everything."

"Misha's parents do cleansing yoga?" Jay raised an eyebrow and Jensen realized that she hadn't told Jay much about Misha and his family.

"I can't believe I didn't mention that yet - they have a big homestead-type place near Forest Grove, close enough to drive to in about an hour, and they make almost all their own food. Your parents would love them."

"Ha," Jay said. "They really would. I used to hear them talking about how awesome it would be to live in the "wilds of Oregon.""

"I can't wait to have you meet Misha - you can exchange war stories about life as a hippy child." Jensen didn't bother hiding her laughter, and Jay joined her almost right away.

"Yeah, that sounds like fun," Jay said. "Are you going to eat that last piece?"

Jensen looked at the now-decimated pizza. "It's all yours," she told Jay. "Oh my god, where are you putting all that food? Does your stomach have a black hole?"

Sheepishly, Jay took the last slice and bit a sizable piece off into her mouth. Jensen felt a little ridiculous about finding that arousing, but she couldn't help it as she watched Jay's pink, soft lips moving as she chewed.

"Sorry," Jay mumbled after swallowing. "I know it's kind of gross, but I think I might still be growing."

"It's not gross, believe me," Jensen said quickly. "The opposite, actually. I like how tall you are."

Jay blushed and looked over Jensen's shoulder at nothing. "You're the first person to tell me that," she said. "Usually it's more like "keep your freaky huge feet away from me, giant.""

"Well, I like your feet," Jensen said, enjoying the way her words made Jay's blush get deeper.

After dinner, since they'd both taken a bus, they walked slowly together back to a stop where they could each catch a ride home. They stood somewhat awkwardly together, waiting, but when Jensen saw her bus round the corner, she took Jay's hand and pulled her in close.

"Is this okay?" she asked, moving slowly enough that her intentions had to be clear.

Jay smiled and leaned into the kiss. Jensen kept it chaste, just their lips pressing together, but it still sent chills down her spine to feel the soft touch of Jay's mouth against hers. They kissed until Jensen saw her bus stop at the curb. She squeezed Jay's hand one last time and said goodbye.

"I'll call you tomorrow?" Jensen said, and Jay nodded, still smiling.

Jay let go of her hand and waved as Jensen got on the bus. It was only a short ride back to her apartment, and she told herself she could wait until then to text Jay.

Jensen let herself into the apartment as quietly as she could when she got home, moving carefully in the dark to avoid waking Danneel. It was all in vain, though, because as soon as she opened the door to her own room, the bedside light came on and Misha and Danneel were revealed, sitting together on her bed.

"Jesus christ!" Jensen yelled, dropping her keys in shock. "What the hell are you guys doing?"

"Language," Danneel said primly. Jensen just gaped at her, and then at Misha when he added, "and what were you doing out so late, young lady?"

Jensen put down her bag and pulled off her jacket and Danneel's uncomfortable shirt, grabbing the nearest hoodie on her dresser to put on instead. She turned around to see Danneel covering Misha's eyes.

"You guys," Jensen said. "Can't I just enjoy the afterglow in peace?"

"There's afterglow?" Misha said, pushing away Danneel's hands. "You dirty girl!"

Jensen flushed. "Not that kind of - fuck, it was an awesome date, okay? And I just wanted to sit down and enjoy the fact that I kissed her without having to face an inquisition."

Danneel stood up and pulled Misha with her. "Okay," she said, giving Jensen a quick hug before herding Misha to the bedroom door. "We just wanted to make sure you didn't need to be talked down from a crisis or something - I'm glad you had a good time."

Jensen glowered as she shut the door behind them. "I had a great time, and thanks for thinking I'd need therapy after my date!"

She didn't know what to text to Jay now, so she settled for got home safe? goodnight!

There was a reply just as she got into bed: yeah, i did! goodnight ;) and Jensen grinned herself to sleep.

++++

The week after their first date was the best time Jay could remember ever having. She felt silly about it and took Genevieve's teasing good-naturedly, but it was true. Jensen made her deliriously happy, and they saw each other almost every day until Jay left for her holiday trip home. They kissed almost every day, too, and even though it didn't move beyond that, Jay couldn't imagine anything more perfect.

Her parents were always happy to see her, and Jay felt bad that she wasn't as excited to be home as they were to have her. Her dad kept offering her pieces of his personal stash of fair-trade organic chocolate that she knew for a fact he could only afford to buy a little of each year. Her mom mostly watched her with a shrewd, knowing look in her eyes, and Jay knew it was only a matter of time before she would drag it out of her. During breakfast one morning, after everyone else had left the table, it happened.

"Looking forward to going back to school?" her mom asked nonchalantly.

Jay answered reflexively. "Yeah, I can't wait to see - " she stopped, watching her mother grin in triumph. "To see my friends," she finished.

It was too late, though. Her mom kept grinning.

"What's her name? This girl you can't wait to see who sends you text messages all day?"

Jay slumped over on the table. "What girl? I could be texting with Genevieve, you don't know."

"Ha," her mom said dismissively. "You're my only child, I know you like the back of my hand. When you talk to Genevieve it's obvious. This is different - what's her name?"

"Jensen," Jay said miserably. "But mama, it's new, we just started dating, and I swear to god if you try to meet her before I'm ready I will become a corporate lawyer for the world's largest, most human-rights-abusing business in the world."

"What are you trying to accuse me of, Jared Tristan Padalecki?"

Her mother tried to look innocent and stern, but Jay knew better. "Promise, mama."

"I promise I'll be good," she answered. "I wouldn't have to take things into my own hands if you would just tell me about her, you know."

"Jensen Ackles, she's twenty-five, going to be an architect, and that's all you're getting!" Jay knew she was being kind of ridiculous, but it had kind of scarred her to grow up in a house where her mom knowing something embarrassing about her meant that all the other adults around knew it, too. Her mom, thankfully, seemed to know it was enough. Almost.

"She's being good to you?" Jay glared at her mom, who threw up her hands. "My last question, I swear!"

"Yes," Jay mumbled, her red face hiding behind her hands. "She's very good to me."

"Good," her mother said, satisfied. "Now, come help me get the table cleared."

After that, Jay relaxed and just enjoyed being with her family for the rest of her visit, and she didn't try to hide her texts with Jensen anymore, since it clearly hadn't been working. They didn't really text each other all day long, but it was at least once or twice a day. Jensen usually told her something funny her little sister said, or, after she'd gone back to Portland to be with Danneel and Misha, whatever crazy conversations the three of them had. Jay responded with odd things that happened on the farm, and it felt good, sharing silly little tidbits with Jensen every day. She also, secretly, drew a fresh, tiny heart on her hip every day, to help her remember the feeling of Jensen holding her close. She didn't put Jensen's name in it, but it was kind of a close thing.

She got back to Portland the morning of the thirty-first, and Jensen called her while she was still in the car with Chad on the way home from the airport. Jensen was outside Portland with Misha's family, along with Misha and Danneel, and Jay wouldn't see her until after the new year. She wanted to see Jensen sooner, but she also didn't want to crash a celebration she hadn't been invited to or seem clingy, so she vowed to enjoy Chad's New Year's Eve party, and for the most part, she did.

Jay stole away to her room before midnight, closing the door and turning on her own music to drown out the sounds from the living room. Chad knocked on her door soon after, and poked his head in.

"You all right, Jay?"

"I'm fine," she smiled at Chad. "Just want to rest, but don't worry about me - enjoy your party."

Chad searched her gaze, probably trying to figure out if she was telling the truth. "Okay," he said eventually. "Just tell me if we need to quiet down or anything, yeah?"

"Sure," she replied. Chad pulled back outside her doorway, and Jay added, "thanks, Chad - for checking on me, that was really nice."

"Uh, sure," Chad said, embarrassed. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Jay said to her closed door. She lay down on her bed and had almost made up her mind to call Jensen when her phone started buzzing in her pocket. Expecting Genevieve, she answered without looking at the display and felt a zing of happy anticipation when she heard Jensen's voice.

"Hi," Jensen said. "I'm sorry to call so late, but I wanted to say Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year," Jay replied. "It's not too late - I just left the raging party Chad's throwing in the living room for a little peace and quiet, but I wasn't asleep or anything. How are you?"

Jensen replied with a story about Misha's parents and the truly horrifying quantity of organic vegetables they'd forced her to eat, and they talked until Jay could hear the countdown starting outside her room.

"I've got to go, but - I can't wait to see you," Jensen said.

"Me, too," Jay said. "See you soon, right?"

"Soon," Jensen said softly, and hung up. Jay spent the rest of the night with a dopey smile on her face, and she didn't mind one bit.

++++

Jay twisted her free hand in her hair again, pretending not to see Jensen casting concerned looks her way as they walked hand in hand on the way to Misha's apartment. Jay hadn't been worried about meeting Jensen's friends before, but the closer they got to their destination, the more nervous she felt. This was Jensen's family - just as close to her as her blood relatives - and if they didn't approve of Jay, it wouldn't lead to anything good.

"Are you okay?" Jensen asked, and Jay nodded, trying to smile.

She'd heard all about Danneel and Misha, and now the reality of meeting them loomed over her, crowding out her common sense. She almost wished Vicki, Misha's girlfriend, would be there, even though it would have meant meeting one more new person. She thought at least Vicki would understand the toughness of meeting your girlfriend's best friends - she'd had to go through the same thing with Danneel and Jensen when she started dating Misha.

"You really shouldn't be this nervous," Jensen said as they arrived at Misha's building. She stopped them outside the door and didn't hit any of the intercom buttons. "I, uh, kind of spent the entire break talking about you, so they're pre-disposed to like you."

"Yeah?"

Jensen squeezed her hand. "Yeah," she said, pressing the intercom.

Jay took advantage of her distraction to sneak a glance; Jensen got self-conscious if Jay did it openly for too long, but she was so gorgeous that Jay had to indulge once in a while. The walk outside in the chilly air had reddened her face, and her eyes were bright behind the black plastic frames of her glasses. She was always cold, and so today she had a fuzzy green scarf Misha had knitted her wrapped around her neck, with matching wrist-warmers under her sweater. Her black pea coat fit snugly around her chest and waist, giving Jay another reason to stare. Jay kept getting the urge to bury her face in the scarf, and had to work hard to keep herself from trying it.

"Misha's magical sex-shop," a voice crackled out of the speaker.

Jensen sighed. "It's me," she called, and the door buzzed open. Jay walked in, Jensen following her slowly. Jay bit back a smile at Jensen's frustrated face.

"On second thought," Jensen said, as they reached the elevator and stepped inside. "Maybe I don't want you to meet them. What if you realize how weird my friends are and decide I'm too much trouble?"

"I like your glasses and your freckles way too much for weird friends to swing the balance out of your favor," Jay said without thinking. She looked up quickly to see Jensen's reaction, enjoying the slight flush on her cheeks.

"Misha's pretty fucking weird," Jensen mumbled, and Jay leaned in to kiss her before they exited the elevator. Then they were at the door of the apartment, and it opened to reveal a redhead a few inches shorter than Jensen, who gave Jay a huge smile.

"You're here!" she said, beckoning them inside and shutting the door behind them. Jensen let go of Jay's hand as they walked inside and took off their jackets, and she felt the loss. She smiled at Danneel anyway - she'd never been short on charm, and she'd win over Jensen's friends no matter how hard she had to try.

"You have to be Danneel," Jay said, as they followed Danneel into the living room. "It's really good to meet you, Jensen talks about you all the time."

Danneel's lips quirked. "I bet," she said. "Luckily, I can say the same thing about you."

Jay thought Danneel meant that to be a friendly gesture, but it was hard to tell for sure. Danneel dropped down onto the couch next to a slim man with brown hair and blue eyes.

"Jay, this is Misha," Jensen said. "He kind of latched on to me and Danneel when he was our RA freshman year, and we haven't been able to get rid of him."

Misha stood and pulled Jensen into a hug, then turned and gave Jay the same hug, much to her surprise. "It's truly fantastic to meet you," he said, ignoring Jensen's shove to his arm and her verbal protest.

"Misha, god, let her sit down at least."

Jay grinned. Getting a hug from Misha hadn't been expected, but she wasn't going to complain about it. "I'm happy to meet you, too," she told Misha. He sat back down, moving to an armchair, and Jay let Jensen tug her down to sit between Jensen and Danneel on the couch.

They made small talk for a while, and as time passed without Jay breaking anything or causing the conversation to come to a halt, she relaxed bit by bit, until she remembered something Jensen had told her earlier. She waited for Misha to finish the story he was telling about Danneel and Jensen's antics as freshmen, then brought it up.

"So, Jensen told me there's a traditional test I have to pass?"

"Yes," Misha said, looking sharply at Jensen. "Although it's against the rules to talk about it to the uninitiated," he added.

"I didn't tell her anything about it," Jensen said. "I just told her it existed."

"It's okay," Danneel said. "It's not that big a deal, anyway." She stood up and went to a tall cabinet next to the tv in the corner, pulling out two DVD cases. "I think we need a new version - this is almost too easy."

Misha began to explain as Danneel put a DVD into the player next to the tv. "First, you have to watch this movie, while we judge your sense of humor. Then, we'll watch another one and see how long it takes you to figure out the connection to the first movie."

Jay bit her lip and snuck a nervous glance at Jensen, who just smiled at her.

"I think you're probably going to pass," Jensen murmured into her ear, putting an arm around her and settling in for the movie. Jay tried to relax, but she was tense until she saw the opening credits.

"Oh my god," she said. "I love this movie!"

Jensen, Misha and Danneel stared at her, Danneel pausing the movie without looking at the remote in her hand or the tv. Jay fidgeted, nearly knocking over her glass of water on the coffee table.

"Uh, is that bad?" she asked.

Jensen started laughing, while Danneel kept staring and Misha shook his head. "No," he said, chuckling as well. "It's just the first time we've ever met someone who's actually seen The Reluctant Debutante before we showed it to them."

"We got it from the library about once a month when I was growing up," Jay explained. "My mom loves old movies, and that's pretty much all we watched since we didn't have tv."

"So you can just tell us right now - what's the connection between this and Some Kind of Wonderful?" Danneel asked.

Jay started to worry again. "Uh - I haven't seen that one. What's it about?"

They all started at her again, but Jay had the feeling it wasn't so positive this time.

Misha snorted. "This is going to be fun," he said, as Jensen took pity on Jay and explained.

"It's a John Hughes movie," she said. "The best one, and we’re definitely going to need to watch it first instead, so that you can still answer the question. You'll just do it in reverse of the usual order."

"Oh," Jay said, still not clear on why it was such a big deal that she hadn't seen the movie before. "Um, in my defense, my parents didn't let me watch movies made after 1975, as far as I can tell. And I kind of didn't catch up later when I could have because I was too busy forcing my best friend to watch Xena with me constantly."

Danneel rolled her eyes. "You, me, and every other bicurious girl on the planet," she said. "And I don't mean that in a judging kind of way. I love that show."

"It's still a travesty that you haven't seen Some Kind of Wonderful," Misha put in. "So we're going to fix that right now."

Danneel switched the discs and Jay leaned into Jensen on the couch to get comfortable. She watched quietly, paying close attention to everything, afraid to miss something important. When the answer to the test came to her, she laughed, and whispered in Jensen's ear, "hot drummers."

Jensen looked at her for a moment, bemused, then smiled. "Exactly."

Jay couldn't resist kissing Jensen quickly before turning back to watch the rest of the movie.

Later, walking back to her apartment with Jensen, Jay had to admit that she'd been more nervous than the situation had really required.

"They liked you," Jensen told her, pulling one of Jay's hands into the crook of her arm. "I knew they would, you're kind of a neat person, you know."

Jay watched Jensen tug them closer together with amusement. Jensen was obviously trying to steal some of her body heat, but she went willingly, enjoying the closeness and the smell of Jensen's hair.

"Even though I'm an infant who'd never seen a seminal coming of age movie?"

"Well," Jensen said. "I'm pretty sure we can spin that so I'm dating a hot, younger woman, which should make up for any points lost otherwise."

"If you say so," Jay said, giggling a little. "I've never been anyone's trophy girlfriend, but for you I am completely willing."

Jensen squeezed her hand, and Jay spent the rest of the walk home doing a pretty good imitation of floating.

++++

Winter quarter sped by quickly for Jensen. She had fairly easy classes, but she'd applied for several different summer internships and was waiting to hear back from them all, and that took up quite a bit of her emotional energy. The rest of her attention was focused on Jay. They went out about once a week, but they spent evenings in together as well, and Jensen looked forward to those nights the most, when she could get Jay alone on the couch or the bed and kiss her until she'd had her fill. Jay always stopped them from moving beyond making out, and Jensen was starting to get a little discouraged. She was the one who hadn't had sex with a girl before, but Jay seemed more nervous about it than her. While she was frustrated, she also didn't want to push Jay, very aware of the fact that Jay was younger and possibly not as ready for more physical intimacy. She did have a breaking point, however, and one night she reached it when Jay pulled away from a particularly heavy kiss as soon as Jensen started to move her hand up from Jay's waist to her breasts. Jensen slumped over and sighed.

"What's wrong?" Jay asked, and Jensen tried to sound less irritated than she felt.

"Well, you never seem to want to keep kissing me, and you pull away whenever I try to touch you - I don't want to do anything you're not ready for, but Jay, I really want you."

Jensen watched Jay's face turn red, and continued. Better to get it all out now. "Is there a problem? Please tell me if there is."

"I don't want to rush you," Jay explained, her eyes downcast and her face turned to the side, away from Jensen. "I know you haven't been with a girl before, and I want you to really want me, and - "

"Jay," Jensen said firmly, making a quick decision to seat herself firmly on Jay's lap, thighs on either side of Jay's and her hands on Jay's shoulders. "I want you." Her irritation smoothed away a bit at the worried tone of Jay's voice, and her reluctance to let Jensen see how nervous she was.

"But you've always wanted guys before," Jay said, and Jensen shook her head.

"So you're trying to keep me from figuring out that you have boobs?" she asked, amusement warring with the frustration now. "Newsflash, Jay - I know you're a girl, and I like it."

Jensen tilted Jay's face up, tried to let all the desire she felt smoldering in her body whenever she touched Jay come to the surface. It must have worked, because Jay's eyes darkened and she put her hands on Jensen's hips, her fingers gripping tightly. Jensen leaned in to kiss her, turning it dirty right away, tongue moving into Jay's mouth and staking her claim.

Jay moaned and pushed up into Jensen, kissing back just as heatedly. Jensen let her hands roam up above Jay's stomach, pulling lightly at her nipples and fondling her breasts in turn. Jay kept her hands gripped tightly around Jensen's hips as they pushed together, and Jensen loved the feeling of Jay's long fingers just one cotton layer away from her bare skin. When they finally broke apart, Jensen couldn't take her eyes off Jay's lips, reveling in how swollen they looked. She almost laughed at Jay's expression of wonder when she finally met her eyes again.

"Satisfied that I want you?" she asked, a mocking grin on her own lips.

"I wouldn't call myself satisfied at the moment," Jay replied, grinning back at Jensen. "But I do believe you."

"Good," Jensen said, moving to sit beside Jay, tucking her head onto Jay's shoulder. "I worry, too, you know," she added. "About whether I'm really what you want - you've had more experience with girls, what if you decide I'm not good enough someday?"

Jay snorted, and Jensen pinched her side. "Ow," Jay complained. "It's true, it's ridiculous to think I might find someone hotter than you, not to mention your other qualities."

"But - " Jensen opened her mouth, then shut it. She didn't want to ruin the mood with her insecurities. Jay didn't let her hide, though.

"What?" she asked, her hazel eyes sincere and slightly pouty. "Tell me," she urged, poking Jensen in the arm. "I told you what was worrying me."

"Genevieve," Jensen said finally, trying to not look at Jay. "You loved her, and I guess sometimes I think you might not be over that. I know it's dumb, I know she's your friend, but - it still gets to me once in a while." She kept her eyes closed, not wanting to know if she'd just made a huge mistake.

Jay didn’t reply right away, and Jensen eventually overcame her fear to look at Jay. She was oddly still, deep in thought, and it took another moment before she spoke. Jensen felt relief rush through her as Jay put an arm around her and pulled her in to place a kiss on her neck before leaning back to look her in the eyes.

"I went through puberty with a gorgeous older best friend who was pretty much the most awesome girl in the universe, and I'm gay - I think it would have been weirder if I hadn't crushed on her." Jay didn't smile, but Jensen could see the hint of one in her eyes. "But I promise you, once she let me down in the nicest way possible when I was sixteen, it took about a month of wallowing and lots of ice cream for me to realize that she was safe - that it was easy to be in love with her because it would never happen, and I could just always keep myself alone and nursing a creepy obsession instead of meeting people."

"You're not creepy," Jensen said, and Jay did smile then.

"Thanks, but I might have been if Genevieve hadn't told me to pull my head out of my ass. I love her, and I always have, but I'm not in love with her, and to be honest, I never really was."

"I bet you were really cute as a sixteen-year-old," Jensen said, caught up in the idea of a younger, more awkward Jay, worrying about homework and crushing on her best friend.

Jay punched her shoulder lightly. "Wow, way to be a perv," she teased, and Jensen felt her face go red.

"Not like that," she protested. "I mean, well - oh, whatever." She grimaced at Jay obnoxiously, then sobered. "Thank you for telling me."

"You're welcome," Jay said. "And you know, I was pretty hilarious. I mean, I listened to this one love song with Genevieve's name in it over and over every night with candles lit, staring at my Tori Amos poster, for at least a week. I thought the fact that her name was also the name of a song from one of my favorite bands was a total sign."

Jensen laughed, eventually doubling over in an attempt to contain her mirth. Jay took it like a champ, laughing along with her, their bodies pressed close on the couch.

"You're kind of awesome," Jensen said when she could speak again. "And I was no prize at sixteen, either, I guess. I had no friends and probably said about ten words out loud every day that weren't directly related to my homework. I'm pretty sure my teachers thought I had a speech impediment. It wasn't until college when I met Danneel and Misha that I learned how to communicate."

Jay studied her face thoughtfully, and Jensen felt exposed, suddenly vulnerable, as Jay moved to kiss her cheek and then leaned back again.

"I wish I had known you then," she said, and Jensen felt bad for her teenage self that she hadn't had a friend like Jay in her life. She shook off the feeling - she saw her past as an important part of the person she was now, and she wasn't given to self-pity about it - and looked up at Jay.

"Me, too," Jensen said simply.

"Does this mean I really can call you my girlfriend?" Jay asked as though she were joking, but Jensen felt pretty sure it was a genuine question.

"I've been thinking of you that way for a while," Jensen said, and Jay beamed. She kissed Jay then, and even though neither of them had said anything more permanent than girlfriend, she felt the inevitability of her feelings for Jay wash over her. She didn't want to say it - didn't want to name something she could still lose, and it was too soon for anything like that - but Jensen knew that someday, her fear would lose its hold.

++++

A few nights later, they went to Jensen's apartment to watch a movie. Danneel joined them, which meant Jay had to work to get Jen comfortable enough to lean into her on the couch. Jensen always seemed a bit stiff when they were around Danneel, or any of her other friends, and Jay tried to not take it personally. Jensen was a private person, and Jay liked that about her, most of the time. She knew Danneel approved of her, at least, for which Jay felt extremely grateful.

The movie ended with Jensen asleep on Jay's shoulder, glasses askew on her face, huffing quiet breaths into Jay's neck, and Jay exchanged an amused look with Danneel.

"It seems mean to wake her up," she told Danneel in a whisper.

Danneel smiled. "Yeah, but if you let her sleep out here, her back really won't appreciate it in the morning. Just walk her into her room, she'll go along with you. She's a deep sleeper."

"Okay," Jay said, feeling a little jealous that she didn't know what kind of sleeper Jensen was yet. "C'mon, babe," she whispered into Jensen's ear, sliding out carefully from underneath Jensen's sleeping weight and pulling Jensen along with her.

Jensen didn't open her eyes fully, but she did stumble into Jay's arms, and cooperated as Jay navigated them carefully to Jensen's room. Danneel called a soft "goodnight" from the living room, and Jay heard her bedroom door close a moment later. Jensen slumped against the doorframe, finally looking at Jay with mostly open eyes, but clinging to her with both hands to keep from falling over.

"You're so tall," Jensen said, and Jay smothered her laughter.

"That's a very astute observation for someone who's still half asleep," she replied. She pulled off Jensen's glasses to keep them safe.

Jensen frowned and closed her eyes, leaning forward against Jay again. "I like it," she muttered against Jay's neck. "You're like a moving couch with boobs."

Jay couldn't muffle her laughter at that. Jensen pulled back, affronted, and pouted. "It's a compliment," she said, still mumbling her words, eyes half-lidded. "I like couches, and I like your boobs."

"I like your boobs, too," Jay said, moving them into the bedroom and closing the door. "But you need to sleep, and I should probably go home."

"No," Jensen said loudly, sitting on the bed and pulling Jay down with her. "Stay, please?"

Jay hesitated for a moment, thinking about how difficult it would be to keep her hands to herself while sleeping in the same bed as her gorgeous girlfriend. Jensen seemed to take her silence for assent, because she started clumsily taking off her jeans, revealing simple black cotton boy briefs barely covering her ass, and bare thighs Jay wanted to lick. She didn't have to be anywhere in the morning, and she wasn't strong enough to say no to Jensen - sleepy, adorable, and half-naked Jensen.

She set Jensen's glasses on the nightstand, then unhooked her bra, pulling it out through her sleeves, and took off her pants, dropping both into a pile on Jensen's desk chair, and turned around in time to see Jensen struggling to pull off her shirt.

"Want some help with that?" she asked.

Jensen looked up and smiled lazily. "Wanna take advantage of me, huh?"

"What? No," Jay protested, then scowled when Jensen laughed.

"It's okay," Jensen said, successfully removing her shirt, leaving her in a tank top and underwear. "We can just cuddle." She got under her covers and patted the pillow next to hers invitingly.

"I want you awake for it when I really take advantage," Jay said, crawling into the bed next to Jensen. She ran a hand down Jensen's hip, palming her ass lightly. Jensen had an amazing ass even hidden under jeans, but with only her underwear on, Jay had a hard time paying attention to anything else.

"Mmm, yeah," Jensen murmured, curling up against Jay, her eyes closing again. "'night."

"Goodnight," Jay whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of Jensen's head. Jensen's breathing evened out almost right away, but Jay stayed awake for a while, savoring the weight of Jensen's warm body against hers. When she finally fell asleep, her lips were still curved into a smile.

++++

Jensen came awake immediately, and when she felt someone next to her in the bed, she panicked for about five seconds before she remembered that Jay had spent the night. Jensen had basically begged her to spend the night. "Oh, god," she groaned.

Jay shifted in her sleep, her arm still wrapped around Jensen, cradling her. "Jen?" she mumbled.

"Yeah," Jensen said, moving to disentangle their bodies and put her glasses on so that she could properly look at Jay.

"Where are you going?" Jay asked, finally opening her eyes and smiling at Jensen. Her hair was a mess, sticking out in all directions, and her face had pillow creases. Jensen wondered self-consciously about her own hair - it couldn't be as cute as Jay's.

"I totally coerced you into spending the night," Jensen said. "I'm so sorry, did you have class today?"

Jay rolled onto her stomach and pulled Jensen close again, arms wrapped around Jensen's shoulder and stomach, a long leg pushed in between Jensen's thighs. She was wearing the t-shirt from the night before and pink polka dot underwear, and fuck, Jensen had never been more turned on.

"No classes til this afternoon, and I liked sleeping next to you," Jay said, her hand rubbing circles lower and lower on Jensen's stomach. "Can I kiss you?"

Jensen choked out a laugh, then looked Jay in the eyes. "Are you kidding? You can always kiss me."

Jay didn't answer, just leaned up and kissed Jensen slowly, turning the kiss deep and filthy almost immediately. Jensen ignored their (not-so-bad) combined morning breath and groaned into it, opening her mouth and running her hands down Jay's back to her ass. She felt crazy with lust all at once, pulling Jay's leg more closely in between her own and moaning as the weight of Jay's thigh pushed against her clit, intense pressure with only the thin cotton of her underwear separating their bodies.

"Jen," Jay said, in a breathless voice. "Are you? Can I?"

"Fuck, yes," Jensen replied, pushing her hips up against Jay's, rubbing her thigh against Jay's crotch and arching into the pulsing heat she felt there, almost as good as the feeling of Jay pressing against her. Jay moved one hand down to cup Jensen's left breast through her tank top, pinching her nipple and kissing Jensen at the same time.

"Oh my god," Jay said, breaking away from the kiss to look at her, sounding surprised and pleased. "You are so - so gorgeous like this."

Jensen flushed hotter but didn't break eye contact, craving the connection and the knowledge that Jay was just as affected by this as she was. She reached out and tugged Jay's shirt, helping as Jay pulled it over her head and tossed it to the floor. Jensen lifted her head and licked at the small, pink nipples the shirt had been covering, relishing Jay's gasps as she moved from one breast to the other before pulling away, keeping her hands on Jay's back.

"Just like this," she said, increasing the speed of their rhythm, letting Jay's thigh send shockwaves of pleasure through her entire body. "I want to come like this, can we?"

"God," Jay breathed, burying her face in Jensen's neck, licking her shoulder and taking soft, tiny bites. "Yes." She kept her thigh rubbing against Jensen, and Jensen could feel wetness against her own thigh, the evidence of Jay's arousal only adding to her own. They moved together perfectly for what seemed like endless moments, and Jensen couldn't believe it had taken her so long to realize that this - wet heat and a soft mouth on her neck, the feeling of breasts pressing into her own - was something she wanted. Her orgasm came almost without warning, so quickly she didn't quite believe it.

"Fuck, oh fuck yes," she moaned, pressing into Jay's thigh and riding out the pleasure, little aftershocks shuddering through her for long seconds afterward.

"Jen - did you - did you come, oh my god," Jay said, her voice sounding broken, and Jensen held Jay's hips in both her hands, and pulled Jay down onto her thigh, rubbing up and loving the wild way Jay pushed against her, seeking her own orgasm.

She seemed to come forever, eyes closed, head back and mouth open. Jensen watched her avidly and moved one hand up to stroke over her nipples as her body's movements slowed, and she opened her eyes to look down at Jensen.

"Fuck, I'm spending the night more often," she gasped, rolling to her side and snuggling against Jensen, her breasts pressed firmly against Jensen's side and giving Jensen thoughts about round two.

Jensen watched Jay fall into a doze, and agreed wholeheartedly.

++++

Since they'd both had separate spring break plans before they'd started dating, Jensen and Jay reluctantly agreed that they should keep their original plans. Jensen had the faint, irrational worry that they were moving too quickly, as well as the fear that Jay would find someone better visiting Genevieve in California for almost two weeks. Neither fear made sense, and she gratefully let Misha, Danneel and Vicki keep her occupied during their short trip to the coast. She also had several internship interviews, which did an excellent job of keeping her mind clear.

When Jay came back to Portland, they retreated to Jay's bedroom and didn't leave unless they had to for school or work, until their friends were thoroughly disgusted and Jensen's worry had been completely destroyed. They had to rejoin the real world eventually, however.

Jensen was pretty sure she and Jay would both still rather be at home watching a movie, but Danneel had made them both promise to stop being such recluses, and so they were at someone's house - a friend of Danneel's girlfriend, Jensen thought - trying to be social. Well, Jensen was trying, and Jay was succeeding. Jensen watched fondly as Jay told hilarious stories about growing up in a commune to Adrianne and another of Danneel's friends Jensen knew fairly well, Mike. Jay had them laughing and totally relaxed, and even though Jensen was pretty sure that Danneel wouldn't consider it being social, she enjoyed watching Jay have fun more than she would enjoy having to do all that talking herself.

Eventually, Vicki came over to Jensen's little corner and asked her to settle an argument she was having with Misha, and Jensen followed her to another room, leaving Jay with her admirers. It was a while before she could convince Misha that she and Vicki were right about his new sweater, which was the ugliest thing Jensen had ever had the misfortune of seeing. She eventually started wandering back to where she'd left Jay, but before she could find her, she ran straight into someone she really didn't want to see.

"Hey, Jen," Justin said, once they'd both stepped back and he'd apologized for almost knocking her over.

"Hi," she said awkwardly. "Uh, I have to - " She really just wanted to bolt, but that would be rude, and she and Justin hadn't parted on bad terms. She just had no desire to spend any time with him, that was all. Since they'd broken up, he'd made a few attempts to hang out, all of which she'd ignored. Apparently he hadn't gotten the message.

"It's good to see you," Justin said, leaning against the wall on one side of the hallway, settling in for an actual conversation. Jensen sighed inwardly.

"Yeah," she said. "How are you?"

Justin smiled and moved closer, and Jensen started to worry that this would be more than just an awkward conversation with her ex.

"I'm great," he said. "Just got a promotion, so I'm working more than ever, but it's pretty cool."

Jensen moved back slightly, trying to put more distance between them, but Justin didn't seem to notice her discomfort and just moved closer to her.

"Listen, Jen," he said, using what Jensen used to call his seduction voice. She and Danneel always had quite a good time making fun of that voice. "I'm really glad to see you here - I miss you, and I - "

"Jensen?" Jay's voice came from behind Justin, and Jensen had never been happier to see Jay. She leaned around Justin's tall frame and smiled widely at Jay.

"Jay," she said, motioning her to come forward. "I was just coming to find you. This is Justin." Justin watched in bemusement as Jensen pulled Jay in and tucked an arm around her waist. Jensen turned back to Justin and was about to introduce Jay when Jay cut in.

"Hi, I'm Jay," she told Justin shortly, not offering her hand to him. Clearly, she had remembered Jensen mentioning his name as one of her ex-boyfriends. Jensen smothered a laugh at the very idea of Jay being jealous of Justin, and waited for her to add something about how Jensen was hers now, but Jay stayed silent as Justin said hello, and Jensen realized Jay was letting her choose whether or not to come out to Justin.

"Jay is my girlfriend," she said, enjoying the pleased expression that broke out on Jay's face at her words. "Since December, right, babe?"

Justin paled. "Girlfriend?" he squeaked, and man, Jensen was just sorry that she couldn't come out to him more than once. This was hilarious.

Jay grinned at him, teeth showing white and shark-like in her mouth. "Nice to meet you," she said.

"Likewise," Justin stammered, before recovering his composure. He looked at Jensen and then at Jay, frowning. "Really?" he asked. "I wouldn't have pegged you for a dyke, too."

Jensen suddenly remembered with dismay how uncomfortable Justin had always seemed around Danneel, who didn't hide the fact that she was bi. Jay flushed with anger and took a step closer to Justin, standing almost as tall as he did.

"Want to say that again?" she asked, deceptively calm.

Shaking his head, Justin frowned and walked briskly down the hallway, disappearing into what Jensen thought was the kitchen. She turned to look at Jay.

"Thanks," she murmured, kissing Jay's cheek. "That was a nice rescue, and congratulations on not killing him with your eyes."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jay asked. "He wasn't being very nice about us."

"He's all hot air," Jensen replied. "Don't worry about it."

"He's a moron," Jay stated emphatically. "He let you get away."

Jensen felt her face go soft and adoring, and she hid her sappy smile against Jay's neck for a moment. Jay lifted her head up and pulled her in for a kiss, a chance Jensen took eagerly. Jay pushed her against the wall and stepped in between her legs, kissing her more deeply, and Jensen pushed back, loving the feel of Jay's body against hers. They kissed for long moments, until Jensen's glasses were crooked and her breath was coming in fast, hitching little puffs of air, and Jay's face was red, her lips swollen. Then Misha appeared in Jensen's peripheral vision. He grinned approvingly at her.

"Not that everyone here doesn't enjoy lesbian exhibitionism," he drawled. "But maybe it's time for you two to head out before Vicki starts planning a foursome."

Vicki peeked out from behind Misha's back and gave them both a lascivious grin Jensen would bet good money was only half-faked.

Jay pulled back from Jensen, flushing even redder, refusing to meet anyone's gaze. Jensen just laughed, pulling Jay along with her toward the front door, grateful that, besides Misha and Vicki, only a few people she didn't know had appeared to see their little scene. God, she couldn't believe she had done that.

"Tell Danneel we left?" she called back over her shoulder, and Misha replied that he would.

Jensen and Jay walked to the MAX station in what Jensen assumed was horny silence. It was awkward, but Jensen really couldn't think about anything other than getting Jay naked and touching her everywhere, watching her fall apart and knowing it was because of her.

"You really don't have to be jealous," she said, trying to take her mind off of the dirty images it kept flashing before her. "We broke up over a year ago, and it was never serious. Also, he's a homophobic jerk."

Jay laughed a little, holding tight to Jensen's hand as they got to the station and rushed onto the train just about to leave. "I'm not jealous," she protested. "Well, kind of, but mostly I just really think he's an idiot and I'm lucky that he is, or I might not have you."

"Well, you do have me," Jensen said firmly. "And I wouldn't want it any other way."

Jay gave her a pleased grin, and when they got off the train to head back to Jay's apartment, Jensen stopped them every now and then to kiss Jay again, until she was pretty sure they might not actually make it inside before she combusted.

++++

When they stumbled into her bedroom, Jay was so wet she couldn't quite believe it. She didn't think she'd ever been this desperate for anything before, and Jensen must have felt the same way - she didn't pause at all, just pushed Jay down on the bed and started pulling her top off, hampered by their frantic kissing, but not in any rush to end it. Somehow, Jay managed to kick off her shoes, but she had no idea how Jensen took care of the rest.

"God," Jensen growled, not giving up until she'd stripped Jay completely and shed her own jeans and sweater. "I want you so fucking bad, want to taste you."

Jay stared at Jensen's eyes, almost completely black with just hints of green around the edges. When had she taken her glasses off? "Yes," she said helplessly. "Please, yes."

Jensen grinned smugly at her. "I've thought about it," she murmured, moving down the bed to kneel in between Jay's spread thighs. "I think about how gorgeous every part of your body is, especially here - " Jensen pushed a finger inside Jay without warning, then licked around it, her left hand holding Jay's hips down against the bed.

"Jesus," Jay gasped, not caring how wanton she sounded. "Oh, Jen, fuck, please." They'd used their hands on each other before, and Jay had spent a good amount of time exploring all of Jensen's body with her tongue, but this was the first time Jensen had decided to go down on her.

"Mmmm," Jensen hummed, her tongue now moving in slow circles around Jay's clit, the motion too slow to do anything but torture Jay with the sensations. Jay tried to relax and just enjoy it, but she was acutely aware of Jensen, couldn't look away from her breasts, still hidden in a black cotton bra, and the top of her head, right there between Jay's legs. She wanted to see more.

Jensen lifted her head when Jay tugged gently on her hair, removing her finger as well. "Not good?" she asked, her lips shiny and wet, and Jay almost forgot why she'd stopped her.

"It's - what?" she started, then caught up with herself. "It's amazing, I just - can you take your bra off? I want to see you, you have no idea how incredible you look right now."

"Okay," Jensen said, reaching to unhook her bra. She moved in an unselfconscious way that Jay loved because it meant Jensen was comfortable, sliding it over her shoulders and tossing it to the floor. "Sexy enough for you?" Jensen asked with a smirk.

Jay nodded dumbly. "Yeah," she said, staring at Jensen's nipples, hard and stiff, standing out from her breasts. It made her want to lick them, but before she could make a move, Jensen decided it had been long enough and pushed Jay's thighs open again, leaning back down to lick long stripes up Jay's outer lips. She focused on Jay's clit again after a moment, flicking her tongue in a steady and insistent rhythm that made it hard for Jay to hold still. Jensen moved her hands to hold Jay's hips, keeping them from moving much as she licked harder, only stopping to catch her breath, and then immediately pushing in again.

"Oh my god, I love your mouth," Jay gasped. "Fuck, that feels so good." Jensen kept moving, her lips closing around Jay's clit and sucking hard.

Jay tried her best not to move, but it was impossible to stop the rolling of her hips as Jensen's tongue and lips worked her clit into a frenzied orgasm, so sharp and intense that it almost hurt. Before she'd even finished coming, Jay sat up, moving to lean against the wall next to the bed, and pulled Jensen up onto her lap. They both struggled awkwardly with Jensen's underwear for far too long before Jensen said "fuck it," and stood up to take them off. Jay laughed, but it died quickly when a completely naked Jensen crawled right back into Jay's lap, kneeling with her legs spread over Jay's thighs, balancing precariously. Jay kissed her and pushed two fingers into her cunt at the same time, feeling and loving the shudder that went through her.

Jensen pulled back just enough to speak, whispering into Jay's mouth as she clung to Jay's shoulders and pushed her body into the movement of Jay's fingers. "Oh god, Jay, please, fuck me, fuck me - " She bit her lip and let her head fall back as Jay started pushing on her clit with a thumb, fingers still deep inside her and Jay's other hand firmly gripping her hip.

Jay grinned and used the hand on Jensen's hip to hold Jensen steady as she moved her fingers more quickly and rubbed her thumb in fast circles on Jensen's clit. Jensen was so beautiful like this, her face flushed and her hair in disarray, moaning and clinging to Jay like she'd fall without the support. Jay almost didn't want her to come, wanted to keep touching her forever, and when she did, muscles clenched tight around Jay's fingers and biting back a sharp yell, Jay didn't stop.

Jensen collapsed against Jay's chest, her mouth letting hot gusts of air reach Jay's shoulder.

"Oh my fucking god," she whimpered. "Don't stop, don't stop - oh - "

Jay kept rubbing at her clit, amazed that Jensen could still stand such direct contact. Her whole hand was wet, Jensen's slick running down to her wrist, and Jay felt crazily powerful. It was almost as good as coming herself when Jensen tried to bring her thighs together, pressing into Jay's hand and shuddering as she had her second orgasm of the night. Jay kept up a gentle rhythm until Jensen starting shaking her head.

"Oh my god," she said. "I can't - no more, too sensitive."

Jay pulled her fingers out and made sure Jensen was watching when she sucked them into her mouth, licking off the sweet taste.

Jensen laughed weakly. "Are you trying to kill me?"

Smiling smugly, Jay tilted Jensen back, helping her lay down on the bed, then moved to settle at her side, her right arm moving lazily up and down over the heated skin of Jensen's stomach.

"If I say "but what a way to go," will you break up with me?" Jay asked.

"No, but I am going make you come again," Jensen said, and Jay kissed her, more than ready for whatever Jensen had in mind.

++++

After they'd worn themselves out, Jay dozed for a while until something woke her. She shifted in the bed and pulled the sheet up to her chest, starting to feel the chilly air now that they'd stopped moving.

"What's wrong?" Jensen asked sleepily, waking from her own doze and turning on her side to face Jay.

Jay couldn't find the right words, but she could see Jensen starting to worry, so she blurted out the first thing she thought. "That was so much better than using my - " she stopped abruptly, turned red, and tried to die. How on earth had she survived this long, anyway?

Jensen smiled, curling her lips up into a shape that made Jay want to kiss her again, and maybe just never stop, but first she had to explain.

"I mean, I - that was - incredible," she started to say, but Jensen didn't let her finish.

"That was the best sex I've ever had, with or without a partner. Even better than the last time with you." Jensen leaned over Jay, kissing up her neck.

"Oh," Jay said inanely. "Um, good?"

"Yeah, Jay, good," Jensen laughed softly and kept kissing her, and Jay didn't understand how she was supposed to finish school, or go to work or eat or sleep, not when she could be with Jensen.

"Does that mean you won't dump me for Justin?"

Jensen smirked up at her, and Jay gulped. "You know, we could be trying for four times in three hours instead of asking stupid questions," Jensen whispered, and Jay felt fingers start to move down her belly, and agreed not to ask any more stupid questions.

Later, Jay lay curled on her side, her head resting on Jensen's stomach and Jensen's hand running through her hair. Jay felt tired and sated, but not yet ready to fall asleep. Jensen's hand felt soothing on her head, and Jay was pretty sure she was close to purring in contentment. The hand finally slowed as Jensen slumped further down in the bed, moving Jay's head from her lap to her chest.

"I'm so tired," Jensen said, her eyes closed and her voice quiet. "But next time, I think I want to try some toys."

Jay sat up. "Toys? What toys?"

Jensen snuggled into Jay's side. "You know, vibrators and stuff," she mumbled, half asleep.

"You want to try sex toys?" Jay didn't mean to sound so shocked, but she had figured it would take a while for Jensen to want to expand their sex life again. Just the thought of Jensen with a strap-on was getting Jay ready for another round.

"Ngnnght," Jensen replied, her head falling back onto the pillow. Jay poked her stomach to no avail.

"Jensen! You can't start talking about sex toys and then just fall asleep," Jay complained, but Jensen was an extremely heavy sleeper, and she didn't reply except to start snoring, little snuffling noises Jay found adorable until she herself needed to sleep. Jensen was convinced she never snored.

Jay vowed to get a recording of Jensen's less than ladylike snoring in revenge, then tried her best to go to sleep. In the morning, Jensen showed no signs of remembering their post-coital conversation, and Jay let it drop. Her fantasy life did, however, feature a marked increase in the number of "Jensen with a strap-on" scenarios.

Part Three