Can I please just die now?

There's nothing left for me.  The only reason I stay alive now is because I don't want to hurt my mom, dad, or sister. I love them, but that love doesn't help me. All they ever want to do when I tell them how I'm feeling is come up with solutions. When they run out of solutions, they just give me this sad smile. I hate ( Read more... )

It started with the failed audition. With the humiliation of running offstage in tears on top of the bad audition, I let my depression monster come out. This time, when my monster started telling me all of the things that it always tells me (I'm fat, ugly, a failure, insignificant, disgusting, unloved, unlovable, I can never be successful as a ( Read more... )

It's been one week since I decided to switch to a vegan diet ( Read more... )

Today is either day three or day four of my vegan experiment (day four if you count the day of accidental veganism before I made up my mind). I'm having a little bit of a rough time figuring out how to balance all of the nutrients that I need, I spent a lot of yesterday with a bunch of little aches and pains that I think were caused by a ( Read more... )

In October 2011 (or around then, I don't remember exactly), my doctor told me that I had an autoimmune disease called Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. This means that my immune system is attacking my thyroid gland and essentially causing hypothyroidism. She said it was no big deal, it was treatable, but that I would have to take synthetic thyroid hormone ( Read more... )

Heather left for Florida today ( Read more... )

It hurts to know that my friends are at a Princess Ida rehearsal without me right now. It hurts even more to know that little 15-year-old Katy Fontenot is there with them, and I'm not. I know you're going to say I shouldn't let this bother me. But have you ever tried to make something not bother you? I'm guessing the answer is yes, and I'll go ( Read more... )

I just had a thought ( Read more... )

Last week, my therapist gave me homework. She told me to write. The only prompt she gave me was to make a list of things I like and things that I hate, but I've been writing a lot more about my food addiction. It feels dishonest of me, but I really don't want to share that with her just yet.

I just got back from an appointment with my therapist. I talked more than I usually do. I talked about how I want to know myself as more than just a singer. If someone asked me about myself, I would probably tell them that I'm a singer, I love Harry Potter, and I have a pug that's like my own son. I feel like that's all I know about myself. ( Read more... )