Relearning as an adult and how to find a stable

[stacyinthecity]

Hello! I've been lurking for a bit and thought I'd post with my question

Comments

[lurath]

The slow kind of horse you are describing is a fairly common type of lesson horse, even if it's not ideal. When I taught lessons we always had a couple of these - In some ways they were invaluable. Then again, with aids applied correctly they would willingly trot out even if they needed to be reminded often. Part of having beginners is that there is a steep learning curve. You should learn to feel when a horse is about to break and know how to apply your aids correctly before moving up to a more advanced horse. Often times I've found that when people are banging away at the horse they are asking incorrectly or sometimes (if children) are not strong enough to ask correctly. Case and point: quite a few of the raw beginners THINK they are thumping the horses sides as hard as they can when they are not able to or don't know how to wrap their legs around the horse and apply the leg correctly. Sometimes I could go behind these riders and see that they were barely even touching the horse

[stacyinthecity]

Thanks so much for your advice. I like the idea of watching lessons.

[colebaltblue]

FWIW, I think a good instructor is someone you enjoy working with and feel like you're learning from. If you don't like your instructor and feel like you aren't being watched and aren't learning anything then it's time to move on

[stacyinthecity]

I was thinking of half leasing, but figured I'd do that after a year or so of lessons.

Thanks for the rest of your advice!

[aligator423uf]

I'm in sort of the same situation, as I just started back riding but only after a 3 year hiatus. After a few lessons she threw me on the lunge line, which I was expecting and welcomed. Sometimes our muscle memory just isn't as good as we'd like it, and you need to focus on one body part at a time. If your instructor isn't willing to do this for you, then by all means start looking for someone else

[stacyinthecity]

She gave me a particular horse to ride because his barrel is narrow and I'm short. Maybe also because he is a horse they use for beginners, but I don't know, she didn't explain that part. When I tried to tell her why I believed I was having trouble and tried to tell her what I wanted to work on (balance, posture), she said, "no, I think you are scared of going fast, so I'll keep you on this horse since he is slow." But a) I'm not scared of going fast - I just want to be balanced when I do it, and be balanced through all the transitions and b) in the next breath, she is telling me that she is going to force me to go fast anyway! If I was scared of going fast, I would be weirded out that she would force me before I've built up more confidence, and besides that, the whole contradiction of I'll put you on a slow horse so you don't go fast/I'm going to force you to go fast seems weird to me

[alex51324]

OK, so your conversation with this trainer indicates that she isn't hearing what you're saying, *and* that even if the problem you were having was the one she thought you had, she wouldn't be sensitive to it.

As Dan Savage would say, DTMFA.

[stacyinthecity]

haha, thanks for the advice. :)

[young_modern]

regarding the lazy lesson horses... don't knock 'em. they can provide a tremendously valuable learning experience, if you let them.

i'm glad i didn't learn to ride on easy "push button" horses. if it wasn't for all those years of working so hard just to achieve small goals, like getting a consistently good trot for one lap around the arena or maintaining the canter for two 20m circles or just not letting the pony run out the door and back to the barn like it so desperately wanted to do... i wouldn't be nearly as good a rider as i am today. i can handle any horse my bosses throw at me. lazy, crazy, bratty... doesn't bother me.

the harder you have to work for something, the more you are able to recognize and appreciate it when you get it right, and you definitely appreciate it when it comes easily!

[stacyinthecity]

I'm definitely willing to believe that. :) Which would then lead me back to my instructor - I would hope she would correct me if I'm applying the aids incorrectly or if I'm really not kicking hard enough or if my legs are in the wrong position or something! Whatever it is that makes the horse not listen to me. But instead I just get told to kick or slap him harder, when I'm already doing as hard as I can. So, yeah. I'm fulling willing to believe I'm doing something wrong that is making the horse take advantage of me. But I just don't know what it is. And then when I DO get the horse to trot, she isn't even watching. :( So I think my problem is probably more with her than the horse.

[young_modern]

i will say there is definitely a point where a lesson horse can be too much of a zombie pig for a true beginner to gain anything from riding it. but, yea, it does sound like the instructor is the bigger problem here. if she tells you to do something, and it's not working, she needs to do more to help you than just repeating the same instructions over and over.

the best instructors i've had were willing to try different ways of explaining what i was doing wrong and what i needed to do to fix it, until they found an explanation that set off the lightbulb in my head. there was always a conversation, not just them barking orders and me silently trying to follow them. they would ask me to explain what i was doing and feeling, for the things i was doing wrong and the things i was doing right. they would illustrate their points, too. by demonstrating on the ground what i should be doing with my body. by getting hands-on and physically placing/moving my hands/arms/legs/etc so that i could feel what i should be doing. by getting on the horse

[vermeer_groupie]

I had a similar experience when I took up riding again after a long absence. I was incredibly unhappy with my instructor and it came down to the fact that I felt she just wasn't giving me the kind of feedback and instruction that I needed and wasn't interested in doing so. I went to a different barn and I have a new instructor that I love. I feel like I have made so much progress with her. I think it comes down to the fact that you need to find an instructor that fits your needs. I mean, you are paying her, so you should be getting something out of it :) Definitely shop around and see if you like another place better. Meet with the instructors, get an idea of how they teach, ask how they give feedback. Watch a couple lessons, hang out at the barn and get the feel of the place. I know you'll find a barn that's the right fit for you! Oh, and slow lesson horses aren't necessarily unusual, but they should be responsive to your commands and she should correct you if you aren't doing something right.

[stacyinthecity]

Haha! How funny! You never know how a trainer will react after a long break. A few others I've worked with randomly (one-offs) over the past 10 years or so have treated me as though I'd never been on a horse before in my life. One trainer I had about a month ago treated me as though I was a strong beginner. I really liked the way that trainer gave feedback and instruction though; he really boosted my confidence while still correcting me when I needed it. I wish I could ride there, but it was a stable I visited while on vacation, more than 2 hours away from my house (by car, and I don't even have a car). :(