I'm in sort of the same situation, as I just started back riding but only after a 3 year hiatus. After a few lessons she threw me on the lunge line, which I was expecting and welcomed. Sometimes our muscle memory just isn't as good as we'd like it, and you need to focus on one body part at a time. If your instructor isn't willing to do this for you, then by all means start looking for someone else.
Typically when I look for a new trainer, I want someone who (above all else) takes good care of her horses. Sometimes watching another lesson isn't always feasible, but it's good to try to if possible. I like a vocal trainer that gives out corrections and praise so I know what to fix and when I'm doing something right.
Do they have a few horses you can ride, or just one designated lesson horse? Does she say "well, I suppose I can throw you on X" or "I think X would be a good fit for you"? You don't want to ride any old horse. The guy I ride is quiet and forgiving, but will take advantage of me if I'm not on my toes.
Ask their horse history too. How long have they been riding/training. I don't always think that if they showed to a certain level or won huge prizes that that means they're a great trainer. My BEST trainer grew up on Standardbred race tracks, went to school to be a ballet dancer, and did endurance trail riding. But she knew horses, how their bodies moved, how to out-think stinky ponies, and creative ways to explain cues, impulsion, flexing, ect so that all her students understood her.
Do test lessons, and don't be afraid to try out a few before you find the right one!
She gave me a particular horse to ride because his barrel is narrow and I'm short. Maybe also because he is a horse they use for beginners, but I don't know, she didn't explain that part. When I tried to tell her why I believed I was having trouble and tried to tell her what I wanted to work on (balance, posture), she said, "no, I think you are scared of going fast, so I'll keep you on this horse since he is slow." But a) I'm not scared of going fast - I just want to be balanced when I do it, and be balanced through all the transitions and b) in the next breath, she is telling me that she is going to force me to go fast anyway! If I was scared of going fast, I would be weirded out that she would force me before I've built up more confidence, and besides that, the whole contradiction of I'll put you on a slow horse so you don't go fast/I'm going to force you to go fast seems weird to me.
I was thinking of doing test lessons with other people to see how I liked them. It sounds like this might be more common, which is good! I was afraid that some places wouldn't like me to do that.
OK, so your conversation with this trainer indicates that she isn't hearing what you're saying, *and* that even if the problem you were having was the one she thought you had, she wouldn't be sensitive to it.
Typically when I look for a new trainer, I want someone who (above all else) takes good care of her horses. Sometimes watching another lesson isn't always feasible, but it's good to try to if possible. I like a vocal trainer that gives out corrections and praise so I know what to fix and when I'm doing something right.
Do they have a few horses you can ride, or just one designated lesson horse? Does she say "well, I suppose I can throw you on X" or "I think X would be a good fit for you"? You don't want to ride any old horse. The guy I ride is quiet and forgiving, but will take advantage of me if I'm not on my toes.
Ask their horse history too. How long have they been riding/training. I don't always think that if they showed to a certain level or won huge prizes that that means they're a great trainer. My BEST trainer grew up on Standardbred race tracks, went to school to be a ballet dancer, and did endurance trail riding. But she knew horses, how their bodies moved, how to out-think stinky ponies, and creative ways to explain cues, impulsion, flexing, ect so that all her students understood her.
Do test lessons, and don't be afraid to try out a few before you find the right one!
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I was thinking of doing test lessons with other people to see how I liked them. It sounds like this might be more common, which is good! I was afraid that some places wouldn't like me to do that.
ETA: Thanks for the rest of your advice too!
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As Dan Savage would say, DTMFA.
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