Meira felt her heart racing. She had said it once and really didn't want to have to explain it all again.
"It's all my fault, captain," she said quietly, examining the ground. Her throat felt like it was closing in on itself, and she barely squeaked out, "I got her the medication."
Bones turned away from the small group, hearing them but not really concentrating on anyone's words. He did nod in the direction of the Security officer, wondering where Cupcake was if she was taking his place as Acting Chief.
He rubbed his temple, feeling the headache from earlier returning. Kirk looked like he wasn't going to leave without some answers, and Bones admitted to himself that he wanted to hear them too.
"...Spottacus, why?" Kirk demanded to know. He was... absolutely shocked. He honestly had believed it wasn't one of the medical staff. "Why did you give her that medication?"
Stupid, stupid, why did I do it, stupid, stupid! she mentally berated herself.
"She-she needed sleep medication, and she didn't want anyone to know about it. I- I told her to come see me right away if she felt off, I never thought- I never thought she'd get hurt."
Her breath had gone shallow - she thought by telling what she'd done the weight on her chest would go away but now she felt it crushing her.
Kirk looked to Bones, and asked Captain to CMO, "Why? What about this hydronal stuff would put someone in a coma?" It was a demand to know, mind working as rapidly as possible.
Looking back at the Captain, Bones shrugged. "It's a sedative, stronger than your ordinary 'over the counter' medication. It's not addictive, which is why it's being touted as the new drug of choice for those with serious sleep disorders, but its still pretty experimental."
Crossing his arms in front of him, he continued. "She'd had alcohol in her blood, as well as some headache medication. I don't know if there was a reaction to that combination, or if she was just one of those people who don't react well to hydronol."
Too much he didn't know about medical stuff. Kirk closed his eyes tightly, gesturing, "Dose. How much was a dose of this stuff that you gave her, Spottacus? How much is normal? How much is a lot?"
How can someone react to so many different kinds of painkillers, Jim??? Bones had growled at him one night.
She hadn't taken a breath since Bones told her Emma was in a coma.
No!
She sucked in a shaky breath.
"I gave her an average dose. One pill a night, 250mg. That's the recommended dose for someone of her size and weight - any more than 300mg is risky, 400mg or more can be lethal."
She didn't think she'd ever felt more relieved when Bones told her Emma was stable.
Meira then winced when Anna asked her the question. This was the part where she'd made the biggest mistake of her life.
"I convinced Dr. Henderson I needed the hydronol for myself. What he gave me was the same dosage Emma would need, so I gave her that."
She looked down again. Her skin felt cold and clammy. Her heart was no longer beating too fast - she felt calm. But not the good kind of calm. Empty was a better word.
She had reached the crux of it - Meira hadn't known Emma much at all. Besides their brief meeting when she first arrived, they hadn't spoken.
She herself didn't understand why she'd agreed. She had felt that Emma was desperate not to let bossman know but - why did she do it when she didn't know her? All she knew was that she'd seen someone in need of help and tried to give it.
She knew Emma a little better now, after their conversation. She was nice - motherly. Meira had liked her.
"Did you check her records before you gave it to her? Mention not taking it with alcohol? Check to see what medications she was already on?" Kirk's eyes narrowed at Spot.
"It's all my fault, captain," she said quietly, examining the ground. Her throat felt like it was closing in on itself, and she barely squeaked out, "I got her the medication."
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He rubbed his temple, feeling the headache from earlier returning. Kirk looked like he wasn't going to leave without some answers, and Bones admitted to himself that he wanted to hear them too.
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Stupid, stupid, why did I do it, stupid, stupid! she mentally berated herself.
"She-she needed sleep medication, and she didn't want anyone to know about it. I- I told her to come see me right away if she felt off, I never thought- I never thought she'd get hurt."
Her breath had gone shallow - she thought by telling what she'd done the weight on her chest would go away but now she felt it crushing her.
"I'm so sorry."
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Crossing his arms in front of him, he continued. "She'd had alcohol in her blood, as well as some headache medication. I don't know if there was a reaction to that combination, or if she was just one of those people who don't react well to hydronol."
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How can someone react to so many different kinds of painkillers, Jim??? Bones had growled at him one night.
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No!
She sucked in a shaky breath.
"I gave her an average dose. One pill a night, 250mg. That's the recommended dose for someone of her size and weight - any more than 300mg is risky, 400mg or more can be lethal."
She looked up at Bones. "Will she be okay?"
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Meira then winced when Anna asked her the question. This was the part where she'd made the biggest mistake of her life.
"I convinced Dr. Henderson I needed the hydronol for myself. What he gave me was the same dosage Emma would need, so I gave her that."
She looked down again. Her skin felt cold and clammy. Her heart was no longer beating too fast - she felt calm. But not the good kind of calm. Empty was a better word.
At least the weight was gone.
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She herself didn't understand why she'd agreed. She had felt that Emma was desperate not to let bossman know but - why did she do it when she didn't know her? All she knew was that she'd seen someone in need of help and tried to give it.
She knew Emma a little better now, after their conversation. She was nice - motherly. Meira had liked her.
Finally, she spoke.
"Not really," she admitted.
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