I have been happy about 85% of the time... but that 15% when I'm thinking of him, i either wanna break down and cry or i want to punch him in the face. i wish i knew what i was doing. I've never been in this situation before. i don't know how to make myself feel better. i suppose only time can help me. It just sucks that the one person that ( Read more... )

ive spent so much time pretending that everything is wonderful in my life that i almost convinced myself that this was true. in reality im probly more screwed up than i was in high school, just more mature about it...if that makes any sense.

wow. i cant believe how little time to myself i have had in the past few days. i have been working like crazy, which is slightly annoying but overall a very good thing. i cant wait to go out and buy something like a movie or an article of clothing. sadly for about the last five months i have only allowed myself to spend money on the neccesities ( Read more... )

yay! summer has started. theres always a half happy, half sad feeling when i leave school tho. i think i may have ended up 4.0ing all may classes AGAIN. when did i get smart, seriously. im taking a summer class, its a sociology class called youth and society and i got the book and it looks interesting so i probly wont even mind having to take ( Read more... )

i cant believe ive already gone thru two years of college. life is going by soo fast. im starting to feel old. and im actually really missing high school, i mean sure i hated it and at times my life was a living hell but honestly those years hold some of the most memorable moments of my life and i was so carefree. gaahh, i just dont wanna grow

all i want to do is go to sleep, but my fucking mind wont let me. im so sick of this and im so sick of the people around me not realizing that this is alot more intense than it appears on the outside. the fact that when i reach out for help no one seems to care makes everything ten times worse. i just feel so vulnerable, so alone, so helpless. ( Read more... )

people suck.

dont ask me why i think this cuz i dont wanna tell you (as if anyones reading this anyway). also im not excluding myself from this, i suck too.

i have decided that i am a pathetic excuse of a person and i truly am disgusted with myself ( Read more... )

( im a loser and waste my time by doing stupid shit like this )

i kinda wanna write in this thing on a regular basis. i think blogs are pretty sweet. livejournal is pretty much dead now tho. and not many people read this. i suppose i could just do it for myself, to look back on. plus the comment wars that go on can be quite amusing. anyways right now i feel like the reality that i have been living in has ( Read more... )