Sorry, not a hero
First of all, your three votes:
x x x (wow, there were actually enough up to vote on)
[ b a s i c s ]
Name/Alias: Elisabeth, otherwise known as Liz, Ale, Barbarian, and in general Lin
Age: 22 in two weeks *sob*
Gender: Female biologically. My mind seems to not be able to chose.
Which gender do you want to be stamped as?: I don't care.
Are you re-applying? If so, tell us the character you were stamped as: Yes. I was Lyn.
[ i n - d e p t h ]
Likes: I like thinking, fighting, working out. Reading, writing, playing video games. I also love singing, the physical feeling of it, and random things like the feel of wind against my skin, or the taste of night air. I love the night and the winter, as well as early autumn.
Dislikes: Being mentally inactive, failing things, the limitations of my body, strong sunlight, heat, and summer. Close-minded people. Finding myself thinking in a biased or close-minded fashion.
I also hate peppers (but not hot peppers) and cucumber. And I can't handle sweet stuff, except what contains lemon or spice.
Fears: Hurting someone I care about. Or letting them get hurt, but mostly I'm scared of it happening because of me, or doing it myself.
I'm scared of myself, of my aggressivity and battlelust, and my lust in general. It's pretty high.
I'm afraid of failure, but sometimes I think I'm even more scared of succes.
And I have a ridiculous phobia of ants, which originated the day I found a colony in my schoolb ag.
Pet Peeves: Racism, sexism and homophobia. Or any kind of discrimination, really. Gender roles. People who try to force their morals on others. People who play with love.
Goals in life: Pfft, a goal? I had one of these when I was a kid. Now? I dunno. Live through things without going mad or loosing control over my sex drive or aggressivity? It kinda sounds too much like surviving.
I'd love to actually be the researcher I want to be, get some actual stuff done, and live with the one I love. It's not just for love, it would be an achievement in the face of the world (lesbian couple there).
I kinda like that idea.
Research-wise, well, I just want to do something that really interests me instead of looking for stuff that's just used to give pharmaceutical companies money.
Describe your personality: Eeeh, it's gonna be hard going through this again. i'll try and make it less... weird and disorganized as last time. Can't promise anything, though.
I'm very proud and have a high ego, but a terrible self-esteem. Let me explain: I won't accept second best. I always aim extremely high. But at the same time, I think I'm shit, and that I won't succeed. This often leads me to get depressed or aggressive towards myself, even self-destructive (though not physically, I've escaped THAT at least, maybe because i AM too proud and won't accept an easy way out). I don't do stuff because I freak out, knowing perfectly well that I AM capable of doing it. And nothing I do is ever good enough.
I can be very cold and calculating, but am a fierce friend or lover. I used to be very empatic, but that was reduced along with my aggressivity when i worked on getting said aggressivity under control. So now it's reserved for a select close ones. The rest of the world can rot. I'll feel sorry, but i'm not likely to risk myself or a loved one to better the situation (though I HAVE been known to do volunteer work. i'm not that heartless.)
I have a strong battlelust. I spent my primary school fighting. When I was 12, I had to force myself to stop seeing the world as a battlefield. It's been the work of two years, two damn years to adapt to the world and act like a normal human being. Now I've calmed down with the aggressivity, but love of battle is still there. Fighting clears my mind, and it makes my blood rush in more than one way *coughifyouseewhatImeancough*. I get deprived when I don't do it.
As a result I tend to avoid conflict. I hate feeling that lust rise, and i'm scared of it getting out of control. The few times it happened have scared the hell out of me.
I'm terribly overprotective of those I love. I can never trust others to do what I could do myself, so I always have to be the one on the lookout. I try not to be smothering, but it's hard sometimes. I can be extremely passionate, especially when it comes to friendship or love, but for the rest, mostly I'm cool-headed, even ice-headed/hearted.
My general outlook on life is a non-aggression pact. F*ck the world, and I won't go bother it if it doesn't bother me.
Also, I hide in plain view. The louder you are, the less people try to see what's under it.
Five positive traits about you: Intelligent, protective, creative, resilient, loyal
Five negative traits about you: Self-depreciative, lazy, cynical, overprotective, sometimes I just don't give a f*ck
Favourite quote/your motto: "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." By Oscar Wilde, I believe. Amusing fact: friends compared me to him. Apparently being a snarky bisexual writer with a taste for boys younger than me made me worthy of the title.
[ c h o i c e s ]
Please try to explain
Mature or Immature?: I find myself immature, my best friend assures me I'm more mature than most adults, and i'm pretty sure most of my yearmates find me immature. I guess I don't have the same priorities as them. It makes it hard to judge.
Leader or Follower?: I'm independant. I don't like relying on others. But I hate being directed and relying on orders even more, so leader more than follower. Or leader from the shadows <3
Outgoing or Shy?: I'm a secretive person who uses being outgoing to hide what I want.
Confident or Modest?: Very self-depreciative. I don't believe in myself. That being said, i'm not sure I could be called modest.
Optimistic, Pessimistic, and/or Realist?: Pessimistic. On the bright side, it means I'm often pleasantly surprised.
Energetic or calm?: My energy is bipolar. I often like the calm, and being alone. But when I need to move I need to do it NOW, and usually a lot (work out till I drop, fight, etc)
Listener or Speaker?:Probably more of a speaker. I can listen, but not just for the point of listening. If I listen it's so I can give good advice later.
Impulsive or Cautious?: My feelings are very implusive, but I'm very cautious, because I never follow my feelings. So I tend to react in two phases.
Playful or Serious?: Playful, mostly, because it's my only way out of this self-imposed gloom. I can be very serious, though, and am on pretty much any subject that's not fangirling.
[ r e a l m ]
Do you prefer attacking at close-range, long-range or not at all?: I love archery and magic, but I know myself better than that. Close range is what I need, because I won't enjoy the fight otherwise.
Are you most likely to work alone or in a group?: I can do both, as long as the group is one where each one has his role, and not one where you can't do a thing alone. I'll probably work more easily alone though.
In the battlefield where can someone find you?(healing, attacking, supporting, etc): I'm good at strategy, but chances are you'll find me at the front lines. I CAN support and direct if neccesary, but it's not what I like doing best. I just have a talent for it.
Most important of all, what is the reason for you to fight?: I'm going to have to keep what I said the first time here. I like fighting. I have never been in a life-or-death fighting situation yet, and I'm trying very hard to believe I wouldn't be fighting just because I enjoy it. I'm not totally convinced. And I'm not sure I want to know.
However, if there is any other reason, it'll be to protect someone in particular. I won't fight for a cause. I have my life to keep, and if I'm dead, how can I protect those I love? I'm not going to let them get hurt because I'm not there or hurt them by my death just for heroics. If it doesn't hit home, chances are I won't fight.
Anything else you'd like to add?: Sorry for the restamp, guys. But I'm trying to get it done before the new month arrives and things go crazy.