Comments | edenbound: TDIR: Loyalty (5)

edenbound

TDIR: Loyalty (5)

Jul 17, 2007 02:05

Fandom: The Dark Is Rising
Main characters: Will, Bran, OMC (sort of), Jane, Barney, Simon, John
Referenced characters: Arthur, Gwion
Pairings: None
Contains: N/a
Rating: G
Summary: Six must be gathered again, to face the old threat wearing a new face.
Index: Index.

( Loyalty - Chapter Five )

the dark is rising, barney, john, simon, multi-chapter, jane, no pairing, will, bran

Comments 8

tamry July 19 2007, 15:59:24 UTC

I usually just lurk, but I found this story and had to leave a note saying how much I love what you've done here. I think you capture the tone of the books really well, and I adore how you've worked the Mordred stuff into it. Totally looking forward to the next chapter!

edenbound July 19 2007, 16:04:26 UTC

Hee, it's great to know that someone (other than my fiancée) has read this. xD Thank you for commenting!

The next chapter shouldn't take me too long (there're two more) since I have it all planned out. :)

flyingskull July 27 2007, 16:39:03 UTC

Hello, here from fanficrants, remember?

You have absolutely no reason to fear crit, con or otherwise. The story flows beautifully, the characters are as IC as they come and the plot is thrilling. You echo Cooper's style, but have clearly made it your own and it's a joy to read.

The only thing that is a bit confusing is Simon saying "I'm studying for medicine". (It should be 'reading Medicine' *cough*) Is he a university student, then? Not that he can't be, of course, he just sounds a little too young for that. But it's atiny niggly thing and quite minor.

I still have the intensely personal opinion that you don't need any Welsh to give the story a bit more of atmosphere; anyone who's got any idea of the Arthurian cycle knows it's set in Wales and people who have read - or at least know of - the Mabinogi have even less of a problem about location. Still, it detracts nothing from your fic and it's so sparse that even I couldn't say it put me off.

Eagerly awaiting the next chapters, I offer you Blind Guardian's Mordred's Song. You ( ... )

edenbound July 27 2007, 16:55:57 UTC

I remember ( ... )

flyingskull July 27 2007, 18:24:38 UTC

It was my unalloyed pleasure.

I think Simon doing his A level and having decided on a career would work perfectly. It doesn't matter that their ages are vague, they are teens and this is why they sound like their younger selves and - at times - like old people. It's period of huge transformation in one's body and mind and this sort of double-vision is very realistic and endearing to readers. :-D

As for the Welsh, it didn't bother me a bit, I was just carrying on our old discussion. The way you use it is perfectly good.

If I had any at making sound files I's send it to you, but alas, I'm still a CD sort of person. Sorry.

flyingskull July 27 2007, 18:26:53 UTC

Urgle. Typing and eating a sandwich at work do not mix well.

I meant *A levels; *It's a period; *If I had any skill at

Sorry about that.

Thread 6