001 // Voicepost

[easy_aspie]

[A tapping sound] Hel-hello? Is this thing on? It's difficult to tell. I - okay.

Hi. I'm Ned. I bake pies and solve crimes - it's not a bad way of life, all things considered. I like cherries and dogs and yo-yos. And I'm here as a warden. Not sure why the Admiral thinks I'd be any good at it, but he offered, and… well. Um. It just seemed like a good

Comments

[thatlibbychick]

Oh god, this place is going to ruin you.

Hi, Ned, I'm Libby. Another Warden.

I give him a week before he ends up in the fetal position

[easy_aspie]

Hi, Libby. So, um, I guess we'll be working together. How, er - how's having an inmate been so far?

[thatlibbychick]

...I'm waiting to be assigned my new Inmate, actually. The last one disappeared with zero warning.

[easy_aspie]

Oh.

... Does that happen often, then?

Tonight on "Gabe tortures the newbies..."

[painhumbles]

[WHISTLE]

Hooo boy. The Admiral saw you comin', kid.

[easy_aspie]

He - what?

I mean, I suppose he must have, since he - y'know, asked me to help out around here. Um. Who are you?

[painhumbles]

Oh you'll see.

I'm Gabriel. Like the archangel.

Poor dear Ned is in SO FAR out of his league

[easy_aspie]

It's a nice name. Did your mom name you after him?

sorry she's such a bitch >.>

[gotgirlballs]

Are we making a sharing circle? Ooh, my turn! I'm Denise, and I'm a doctor. I like beer and hockey and sex. I laugh when people fall down, especially if they're children. I'm a warden for the paycheck.

See how stupid that sounds?

[easy_aspie]

[Stunned silence, then a bunch of crossed out bits]

Uh, hi, Denise. It's nice to meet you. And I don't think it's stupid to try to get to know our fellow Barge members - I mean, after all, we're confined to this ship with them and I guess what I'm trying to say is that, as they say, "good fences make good neighbors", but I do think I should maybe know who those neighbors are first and say hello, even if they think I'm stupid for sharing and...

Um.

Hi.

he probably doesn't know that this is just her default setting :c

[gotgirlballs]

Christ, you sound just like Sunny. What is it Cox called her again...oh right. "A basket of kittens sliding down a shimmering rainbow." That's you, and it's nauseating.

Anyway, welcome to the Suckhole of the Universe.

true that. ned doesn't, but i doooooo ;D

[easy_aspie]

Who's Sunny? And I'm sorry if I make you nauseous. I was just trying to be nice. You could maybe try it out sometime. You might be surprised.

Or just not read my journal. Either one would be effective.

[madrassa]

Things are a bit tense here, Ned, so you'll have to excuse the attitudes of some of your fellow coworkers.

My name is Inara Serra, and I'm a warden here. Feel free to touch base with me if you have any questions.

[easy_aspie]

Thanks. I was a bit - well. Thrown. By - well. The Barge in general. Is it always this... I can't think of the term.

[madrassa]

Overwhelming? Absolutely. Abrasive personality types and stressful scenarios abound. I hope this experience won't rid you of that politeness; it's a very refreshing quality.

[easy_aspie]

Oh. Heh. Thank you. Yeah, I suppose I had noticed that politeness is sort of in short supply around these parts.

[cantrunfromme]

Let me be the first of the inmates to inform you of what a complete and utter fucktard you must be if you came to this rusthole voluntarily. So on behalf of the inmates, I look forward to terrorizing your pathetic life in the near future.

[easy_aspie]

... are you always this hostile?

[cantrunfromme]

Generally, yes.

PLZ NOTE THE FACE.

[easy_aspie]

Great.