Comments | dyvinesweetness: "Curse words"

dyvinesweetness

"Curse words"

Jul 15, 2010 07:34

Lately I've been having conversations with various friends about which words and terms that are not "four-letter-words" were still forbidden in our homes growing up. A couple of people have told me "shut up" was/is on this list of things you just don't say. It was never directly expressed that that is off limits for my family, but it really wasn't ( Read more... )

but not so random, sankofa, language

Comments 35

donthurrycurry July 15 2010, 14:19:25 UTC

When I was around 11 years old I was playing at a neighborhood friend's house. We got into some sort of 11 year old argument, she called me stupid, I slapped the shit out of her and calmly walked home. This was the closest to a fight that I'd ever encountered, although she didn't retaliate. (Her mom wasn't home.)

She ran to my house crying, to tell on me. My mom said, "well you shouldn't have called her stupid!"

Of course now I look at this and see how wrong my mom was for "blaming the victim" but insults of intelligence were a HUGE offense in my house. I also couldn't say, "shut up, hate, or of course the "traditionally profane words." One of only two times my mom ever slapped me (ugh) was when I was 6 years old and said, "shit" when I fell on a concrete road in Spain. ('Cause you know the fact that it was Spanish concrete is so relevant to this story) And then she took a picture of my tear-stained, slap-streaked face :/

dyvinesweetness July 15 2010, 14:29:17 UTC

Aaah hate. Hate wasn't forbidden in my home, but I think I said it like once and my gramma was like "do you know what it means to hate something?" or "think about your words." My gramma had a good calm way of addressing things without making you feel foolish. Just prompting contemplation. I try to channel that part of her as much as possible.

donthurrycurry July 15 2010, 14:38:21 UTC

Oh and "what!" I grew up in a "ma'am/sir" household, so "what'ing" my mom= oh hell no. This one has stuck with me, as I catch my stank level rising when an adult "what's" me (especially in a "I didn't hear you, can you repeat yourself?" kind of way). But if someone (close) were saying "what?!" in a "you're kidding right?" kind of way it doesn't perturb me. Hmm.

dyvinesweetness July 15 2010, 14:42:18 UTC

That's cause you're a military brat! lol

Thread 8

papi July 15 2010, 14:23:11 UTC

I don't think I was the one who told you I couldn't say "lie" growing up. But as a matter of fact, no one in my family said it (that was my grandmother's doing).

Also couldn't say "pee," "poop," or "butt."

I don't know how I survived.

dyvinesweetness July 15 2010, 14:31:34 UTC

I'm so mad I left out vagina and penis!! I think I'll add those to the list in the entry. I was not allowed to even refer to my "private parts" unless I used euphemisms (po-po, poom poom and possible were family favorites) and could only speak about washing them.

papi July 15 2010, 14:35:56 UTC

I know "poom-poom" (seems to be a New York thing via Jamaica), but "po-po" and "possible?"

dyvinesweetness July 15 2010, 14:41:33 UTC

*shrugs* My mother liked "cutesy" names. lol Po-Po was just her thing. I never heard anyone else say that. Though I have heard all kinds of things that are just as random. To this day I'm not entirely sure why she called it "possible" either. I suspect it's some kind of inside joke with her friends that trickled into her conversations with me.

This actually reminds me of how our relationship changed as I got older. When I was as old at 16 the word penis was so taboo it warranted an hour long lecture from my mother. But later in life she talked openly about how she told her doctor's she still had a sex drive. lol

Thread 10

i_dreamed_i_was July 15 2010, 16:23:13 UTC

I'm not sure any word was off-limits per se. I mean, we weren't supposed to cuss, and I made a concerted effort not to, and saying the "F word" would have been a shocker. (As a teenager, I once yelled at my dad "Forget you!!" and he ran up those stairs with a quickness-- "What did you say?!!?") My brother has anger issues and probably said everything under the sun at some point, but I mostly wasn't privy to that, considering I was mostly out of the house by the time I was 18, and he was just 8 ( ... )

i_dreamed_i_was July 15 2010, 16:31:53 UTC

Oh! And this also reminds me of a book I love, by Lynda Barry-- "One Hundred Demons." I bought it for D and we both love it (for context, Lynda Barry is mixed-race Filipina but passes).

And I found the strip online, yay!

http://mobile.salon.com/mwt/comics/barry/2000/04/21/demons2/index.html

(Click "Next Page" at the bottom right to read more.)

dyvinesweetness July 16 2010, 17:19:32 UTC

"You always have the best "food for thought" entries!"

Aaww, yay! thanks!

Also, taking the Lord's name was something kind of sporadically enforced in my home. So it always caught me off guard. lol Like "wait what? oh yeah." It took me a long time to learn what that even meant because they were so random with it. lol

imjustice July 15 2010, 18:03:33 UTC

when i was really little, i wasn't allowed to say "lie", "fool", "shut up", "hate", "bastard" or any of the profane words (including the n word). in general, i wasn't allowed to insult people. this became problematic as i got older & trading insults with my friends/family was how i showed affection.

"good hair" & "bad hair" were DEFINITELY bad words in my parents' house. i wasn't raised to think in that way, so i never said either, but anyone who used those terms in front of my dad got a very lengthy & severe talking-to.

i wasn't allowed to refer to anyone as "poor"...

couldn't say "crack baby" (this is only relevant because 1 of my neighbors was generally considered to be one). i could say "retarded" but not in reference to people, only to situations.

i had to argue my case with my mother about the right to say "that sucks", lol...

hmmm what else...my parents took issue with various slang terms.

as i got older, i became the person who told my parents what they were not allowed to say in front of me, ex: fag, dyke, ( ... )

dyvinesweetness July 16 2010, 20:27:23 UTC

" this became problematic as i got older & trading insults with my friends/family was how i showed affection."

lol I can imagine.

"good hair" & "bad hair" were DEFINITELY bad words in my parents' house."

Ooooh. I think those and crack baby will also not be spoken in my house. And ghetto as a pejorative.

"as i got older, i became the person who told my parents what they were not allowed to say in front of me, ex: fag, dyke, bitch, cracker, slut etc..."

I think eventually I'm gonna have to have this kind of conversation with my older cousins. I can just see it happening.

re: female anatomy imjustice July 15 2010, 18:09:39 UTC

my father was the one who actually taught me the proper names for my "private parts"--i dunno if my mom was uncomfortable w/it or what...also, since i liked to read they bought me different educational books that explained anatomy, puberty, periods, reproduction, etc...

i'm sure that approach is not the best & wouldn't work for every kid, but i knew a lot more than most of my friends did.