Fic: Wishing on a Star
Title: Wishing on a Star
Summary: Beginnings, Estelle knew, always came hand in hand with endings
Fandom(s): Torchwood
Characters: Estelle, Jack
Spoilers: Set after 1x05 - Small Worlds
Rating/Warnings: None
Word count: 1378
Notes: Getting something out of my system that has bothered me forever since this episode - a million thanks to xwingace for betaing help. Comments and concrit are love.
Fic Masterlist: Archived at alien_sands, Masterlist here.
Art by laurab1
***
Only now did Estelle realise that her life was neither a straight line nor a circle, but something that crossed itself in the most intricate patterns to create the most beautiful pictures, like the symbols of religions long lost to time.
She remembered the tinkling voices from her youth, when the woods were her playground and the rain didn't touch her if she didn't wish it to.
"Your life doesn't start here," the voices had sung, and she'd never understood what it meant, had later never thought it to be real. A dream of eternity, she'd told the soldier lying next to her in the clearing years later. The soldier had laughed and told her he was waiting for his life to start as well, and couldn't they watch the stars together in the meantime?
Only now she understood. Understood and laughed in relief for herself, while her heart nearly broke for the impossible man cradling her dead and old body.
Moses mewed at her from the bushes, in his catlike ways ignoring the scene before him and purring at her spirit, bidding her goodbye.
***
Beginnings, Estelle knew, always came hand in hand with endings; the mythical snake of old devouring its own tail until everything -- life, death and time itself -- coalesced into one big circle with no end and no beginning.
The storm had come and washed her away with it, her body, old and brittle from its voyage through time yielding to the forces of nature.
And yet she was still here.
The tide of time had embraced her soul, waves of infinity carrying her away from her garden and the pain of death, tumbling her like an autumn leaf, carrying her off towards the sky until everything she could see was the darkness, twinkling with millions of diamonds, each one a sun and another story of life, and yet so tiny against the infinity of the void - an endless fractal of Everything and Nothing.
This wasn't supposed to be what death was like, Estelle thought - not that she'd ever believed in the afterlife of Christian lore.
A thought struck her mind, and invisible wings bore her forwards, through the dark velvet sky until the myriads of stars blurred in the corners of her eyes and the pull of Time ruffled her non-existent hair.
She was back in her favourite place in the forest now, watching herself holding hands with the young Captain of a wartime so long ago, smiling down from above as they promised each other eternal love.
How had she been able to miss the sad twinkle in Jack's eyes when he'd kissed her then, right under the oaks and the stars as the only witnesses to their oh so human promise? Now, little more than a ghost, she watched her younger self and remembered being that young, naïve girl in her best dress. She remembered Jack's scent, and breathed in to catch a whisp of it, clear and sharp like a spring day. It would still be unchanged when she'd meet him again in the new millennium.
She remembered how her heart had started to race back then, when she'd glanced upwards, for a moment thinking she'd seen something move between the twigs above. Something tiny, shining with otherworldly light, a little star lost and dancing among the leaves. Estelle, the Estelle of now - if that had any meaning still - started and skipped behind the oaken twigs to hide from herself out of instinct.
Only now did she realise how huge the leaves of the trees were, each of them as large as a blanket. Something in her mind clicked then, and the laughter of children echoed through the aeons flowing around her.
"Estelle," the many voices said as one, each one of them like a small bell singing in the moonlight. She tore her eyes off the young lovers below and embraced the beckoning voices that whirled her through the centuries and the neverchanging forests and lakes to make her see.
"That means star," the voices laughed in delight, and Estelle joined in the laughter with a glee she hadn't felt for years. The voices resolved into pinpricks of light, dancing around her in the infinity of Earth and changing into the shapes of children dressed in white. The children moved forwards to embrace her all at once. She looked down, her body that of a young woman again, as it had been on her last night with a young Captain, the last time she'd been happy. She'd laugh at him now, telling him she'd been right all these years while he was brooding in his underground cave, having bad dreams.
"Now you dance with us among the stars," the youngest, the newest, of the children told her as one by one they danced off into the ages to bathe in brooks and dance on rays of sunlight. Earth would always be protected.
We always take care of those who understand, Estelle knew as she skipped throughout her life like a pebble would over a quiet lake and saw the ripples she left in her own life.
They were footsteps her younger self would follow and which would lead her home in the end. Your life doesn't start here she told a little girl who played under the trees, who dreamt of going with the Faeries to their kingdom just like her grandmother had told her.
As she watched her mortal life progress, she became aware of a figure in a greatcoat for the first time, always watching her from afar, from the shadows of the city.
She laughed, the loneliness of her own life forgotten as she watched this other one, drenched in the smell of rain on concrete and metal. She smiled and followed this one's path, lonely as hers had been before the Storm had whisked her away. Jack had never understood, she knew as she gently stroked the hair off his sleeping face, and probably never would. She flicked dust off his uniform on the train to Lahore, covered his eyes in the tunnel so he wouldn't see the others as they came for their revenge, and so the others wouldn't see him.
He was hers, and hers alone. He didn't understand, but his heart was as bright as the strange sun that had seen him grow up.
"Forever," she whispered to his lips as he dreamt of that train just days before her old self's metamorphosis.
Their pledge had meaning again now, as long as Earth was breathing. She left a rose petal on his desk before she danced off into eternity, singing with the sun and floating down the river of time.
***
She painted the morning sky and let snowdrops grow wherever she felt like it, she let the clouds shape to her wish, she chased unwanted people out of her woods and she sang to lonely children. They giggled at her funny songs.
Everything was as it should be, as it had been before and as it would be again. Forever.
***
Jack woke from an uneasy sleep, images of Lahore and Estelle still clouding his mind, the nightmares that mingled with memories making the hairs on his back stand up.
As he dressed and wiped the sweat off his forehead, he thought he heard the laughter of children echo through the Hub, like a long forgotten memory suddenly come alive.
Images of forests and the night hurtled through his mind, his subconscious reacting to something he didn't understand.
As he stood and listened, all he could hear was Ianto upstairs, probably working late to expel his own demons. Jack sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as his eyes travelled over his desk in search of work that would divert his attention from the dreams.
He paused, his heart suddenly beating heavily his chest, the memories of Lahore, the memory of red and the sound of wings merging with the nightmare to generate a sense of foreboding.
There was a rose petal on his desk. He swallowed.
He'd have to phone Estelle, get the team up and running. If they were back, the city was in serious trouble.
Something wicked this way came.
Summary: Beginnings, Estelle knew, always came hand in hand with endings
Fandom(s): Torchwood
Characters: Estelle, Jack
Spoilers: Set after 1x05 - Small Worlds
Rating/Warnings: None
Word count: 1378
Notes: Getting something out of my system that has bothered me forever since this episode - a million thanks to xwingace for betaing help. Comments and concrit are love.
Fic Masterlist: Archived at alien_sands, Masterlist here.
Art by laurab1
***
Only now did Estelle realise that her life was neither a straight line nor a circle, but something that crossed itself in the most intricate patterns to create the most beautiful pictures, like the symbols of religions long lost to time.
She remembered the tinkling voices from her youth, when the woods were her playground and the rain didn't touch her if she didn't wish it to.
"Your life doesn't start here," the voices had sung, and she'd never understood what it meant, had later never thought it to be real. A dream of eternity, she'd told the soldier lying next to her in the clearing years later. The soldier had laughed and told her he was waiting for his life to start as well, and couldn't they watch the stars together in the meantime?
Only now she understood. Understood and laughed in relief for herself, while her heart nearly broke for the impossible man cradling her dead and old body.
Moses mewed at her from the bushes, in his catlike ways ignoring the scene before him and purring at her spirit, bidding her goodbye.
***
Beginnings, Estelle knew, always came hand in hand with endings; the mythical snake of old devouring its own tail until everything -- life, death and time itself -- coalesced into one big circle with no end and no beginning.
The storm had come and washed her away with it, her body, old and brittle from its voyage through time yielding to the forces of nature.
And yet she was still here.
The tide of time had embraced her soul, waves of infinity carrying her away from her garden and the pain of death, tumbling her like an autumn leaf, carrying her off towards the sky until everything she could see was the darkness, twinkling with millions of diamonds, each one a sun and another story of life, and yet so tiny against the infinity of the void - an endless fractal of Everything and Nothing.
This wasn't supposed to be what death was like, Estelle thought - not that she'd ever believed in the afterlife of Christian lore.
A thought struck her mind, and invisible wings bore her forwards, through the dark velvet sky until the myriads of stars blurred in the corners of her eyes and the pull of Time ruffled her non-existent hair.
She was back in her favourite place in the forest now, watching herself holding hands with the young Captain of a wartime so long ago, smiling down from above as they promised each other eternal love.
How had she been able to miss the sad twinkle in Jack's eyes when he'd kissed her then, right under the oaks and the stars as the only witnesses to their oh so human promise? Now, little more than a ghost, she watched her younger self and remembered being that young, naïve girl in her best dress. She remembered Jack's scent, and breathed in to catch a whisp of it, clear and sharp like a spring day. It would still be unchanged when she'd meet him again in the new millennium.
She remembered how her heart had started to race back then, when she'd glanced upwards, for a moment thinking she'd seen something move between the twigs above. Something tiny, shining with otherworldly light, a little star lost and dancing among the leaves. Estelle, the Estelle of now - if that had any meaning still - started and skipped behind the oaken twigs to hide from herself out of instinct.
Only now did she realise how huge the leaves of the trees were, each of them as large as a blanket. Something in her mind clicked then, and the laughter of children echoed through the aeons flowing around her.
"Estelle," the many voices said as one, each one of them like a small bell singing in the moonlight. She tore her eyes off the young lovers below and embraced the beckoning voices that whirled her through the centuries and the neverchanging forests and lakes to make her see.
"That means star," the voices laughed in delight, and Estelle joined in the laughter with a glee she hadn't felt for years. The voices resolved into pinpricks of light, dancing around her in the infinity of Earth and changing into the shapes of children dressed in white. The children moved forwards to embrace her all at once. She looked down, her body that of a young woman again, as it had been on her last night with a young Captain, the last time she'd been happy. She'd laugh at him now, telling him she'd been right all these years while he was brooding in his underground cave, having bad dreams.
"Now you dance with us among the stars," the youngest, the newest, of the children told her as one by one they danced off into the ages to bathe in brooks and dance on rays of sunlight. Earth would always be protected.
We always take care of those who understand, Estelle knew as she skipped throughout her life like a pebble would over a quiet lake and saw the ripples she left in her own life.
They were footsteps her younger self would follow and which would lead her home in the end. Your life doesn't start here she told a little girl who played under the trees, who dreamt of going with the Faeries to their kingdom just like her grandmother had told her.
As she watched her mortal life progress, she became aware of a figure in a greatcoat for the first time, always watching her from afar, from the shadows of the city.
She laughed, the loneliness of her own life forgotten as she watched this other one, drenched in the smell of rain on concrete and metal. She smiled and followed this one's path, lonely as hers had been before the Storm had whisked her away. Jack had never understood, she knew as she gently stroked the hair off his sleeping face, and probably never would. She flicked dust off his uniform on the train to Lahore, covered his eyes in the tunnel so he wouldn't see the others as they came for their revenge, and so the others wouldn't see him.
He was hers, and hers alone. He didn't understand, but his heart was as bright as the strange sun that had seen him grow up.
"Forever," she whispered to his lips as he dreamt of that train just days before her old self's metamorphosis.
Their pledge had meaning again now, as long as Earth was breathing. She left a rose petal on his desk before she danced off into eternity, singing with the sun and floating down the river of time.
***
She painted the morning sky and let snowdrops grow wherever she felt like it, she let the clouds shape to her wish, she chased unwanted people out of her woods and she sang to lonely children. They giggled at her funny songs.
Everything was as it should be, as it had been before and as it would be again. Forever.
***
Jack woke from an uneasy sleep, images of Lahore and Estelle still clouding his mind, the nightmares that mingled with memories making the hairs on his back stand up.
As he dressed and wiped the sweat off his forehead, he thought he heard the laughter of children echo through the Hub, like a long forgotten memory suddenly come alive.
Images of forests and the night hurtled through his mind, his subconscious reacting to something he didn't understand.
As he stood and listened, all he could hear was Ianto upstairs, probably working late to expel his own demons. Jack sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as his eyes travelled over his desk in search of work that would divert his attention from the dreams.
He paused, his heart suddenly beating heavily his chest, the memories of Lahore, the memory of red and the sound of wings merging with the nightmare to generate a sense of foreboding.
There was a rose petal on his desk. He swallowed.
He'd have to phone Estelle, get the team up and running. If they were back, the city was in serious trouble.
Something wicked this way came.