I probably should have posted this already... forgive me

I had my son, Elias Gabriel, on March 5th at 11:41 pm
He was 6lbs 7oz.
He looks just like daddy.


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I no longer feel the ability to express myself in any written way. Not words, or music.

I fear I am losing myself.

I'm having a boy!!!

His name will be Caden Samuel!

It's a long story on why not Lysander Jordan... basically, his personality doesn't fit. I know who my kids are already and this is definately Caden.

Just in case you didn't read facebook or myspace...

I'm pregnant.

I feel as though I can never do right. I somehow misconstrue something. Infer feelings that aren't there. Hear words that aren't really implied. Push people and ideas farther away. I just don't know when it will end. And if you'll still love me before it does.

And no, this isn't an invitation for you to rip me to shreds.

Life isn't as bad as I make it seem.
This is the only place to get out my aggression without hurting my husband.

I can't wait to have a baby with that man.
Oh... and when I said previously that I wasn't preggy. We are almost positive that I was... and I had a miscarriage. :::sigh:::

My heart aches.
And I know not what to do.

Funny that the blog question would be on this topic. Yes. Someone has done something so terrible to me that "I'm sorry" couldn't cut it. That person was me. Sad thing is, I'm not the only one that I have done it to ( Read more... )

You know, sometimes I really don't like people. They piss me off to no end. Sometimes they are random strangers. Others, friends. My husband. My cats. Even myself. But, God, they annoy me ( Read more... )

I'm so sad. Just utterly sad. But so is the story of Jenna, eh? I honestly don't know why I have ever wanted to move to California. Why I wanted to live even a moment of my life out here. It's awful. Horrible. I am so homesick. Just for the feeling of knowing where I am. And what is around me. Just for the fact that I can go virtually anywhere back ( Read more... )