Only one person has known all most of my secrets. He left me. I was trying to figure out why I feel so alone, and it's freaking because no one knows me. Ironically, not talking about these things I keep secret makes them seem even bigger. I think about them more because I feel like I couldn't talk to anyone about it if I wanted to. :/ fuuuuuhhhhh, ( Read more... )

...and by "it" I mean the online medium for my whining ( Read more... )

PTSD! It sucks for everyone!

All morning. ALL morning, it's been nothing but "nuhnuhs!" from every direction. They are relentless. They don't want to play, they don't want to sleep, they just want flipping nuhnuhs. No kids, nuhnuhs tired, nuhnuhs sleeping, nuhnuhs WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE. I don't think I've ever been so touched-out in all my life.

Just in case I forget what happened to my elbow, and because it's ridiculous ( Read more... )

I don't want to be negative. I don't want to badmouth people I love. I don't want to complain...because honestly, things seem like they're getting better (or at least I'm getting better at coping). but DAMN. Right now, hubby is such that he has constant anxiety attacks and rage issues. He just yells when he feels like he's done something wrong. He ( Read more... )

Last week, I reached the brink of total exhaustion. It took me close to an hour to get out of bed, and I was in tears because I was just so tired. You know, that kind of tired where you need sleep so badly that you feel nauseous and shaky. Well, that was also the day hubs had to work 16 hours several counties over and I have no friends in town...so ( Read more... )

5:00am - Ethan wakes up, I go to the living room to rock him and hubs is awake, on the comp (my comp, as his is still broken). Hubs won't move so I can rock Ethan, while complaining that it's my fault hubs is awake....riiiiggght ( Read more... )

I'm becoming increasingly affected by the actions of other people...and by other people I mean my husband, but I'm sure if there were more adults in my life it would be others too. And while I feel pretty sure he's done some shitty things, I know it's not so shitty that it should make me think the things I have been...and I'm open to the suggestion ( Read more... )

Contractions for a few days, very cranky, bad husband decides now is the best time to play video games and is constantly asking me to plug things into the back of his computer....under his desk...because it's uncomfortable for *him* to reach it.