Charming the Pants off the Pashahads
Title: Charming the Pants off the Pashahads (Part One)
Pairing/Rating/Warning: none, rated PG, contains spoilers for SGA through S2
Word Count: 11878 total (Part One 6404)
Betas: The wonderful jadesfire2808 and _medley_
Summary: Colonel Sheppard's team gets into hot water off world when he accidently insults a village chieftain's daughter. Can their new teammate, Captain Jack Harkness, get them out of it?
Author's Note: Crossover between Torchwood and Stargate: Atlantis. Written for karaokegal's"Come as You Aren't Halloween Party." Now with DVD commentary.
Author's Note 2: This story is set at some unspecified time after TW's S1, but immediately after SGA 2x13, "Critical Mass" and had to be split in two parts to post at livejournal.
Author's Note 3: The wonderful art for this story was made by _medley_, whom I can not thank enough!!!
“Keep running!” Colonel Sheppard yelled as they crashed through the underbrush, running full tilt.
“But which way?” McKay whined. That wasn't unusual. Rodney hated running of any kind, especially the frantic 'running for your life' variety.
“Away from that!!” Sheppard gestured vaguely at the irate villagers off in the distance who chasing them and hurling spears and arrows in their general direction.
Captain Jack Harkness just laughed. “Out of range is always good!”
“But what about the Stargate? Wouldn't it make more sense to run towards it instead of away from?” McKay pointed out.
“Well, Rodney, if you really want to go confront the nice people trying to kill us, be my guest. I'd rather hope those mountains up ahead have enough places where we can hide until Atlantis sends us some help when we don't check in tomorrow.” He called into his radio, “Teyla, find any good hiding spots yet?” He could barely make out Teyla up ahead on point, but he knew that McKay, who was a little further ahead, was keeping her in sight so he wasn't concerned.
“No, Colonel, I'm afraid not.”
“Damn it!” Sheppard stumbled slightly. He had an arm slung over Harkness's shoulder for balance but was still a little unsteady on his feet after having taken a blow to the head. He felt the arm supporting him around his waist tighten slightly.
“You okay?” Jack asked quietly, his breath ghosting against Sheppard's neck. When there was no response other than a half-hearted grunt he added, “Do me a favor?”
“Depends on the favor.”
“Next time you have the desire to make a comment about how some village chieftain's daughter resembles the local camel-like creature-thing, make sure no one overhears you?”
“I just wanted to make sure you got your exercise today, wouldn't want you to get fat now would we? And, besides, you did say you wanted your first mission as an official part of our team to be a memorable one!” Sheppard let go for a second so the other man could turn around and fire off some rounds in the direction of the villagers pursing them.
Jack quickly grabbed Sheppard again and increased their pace. “They're still gaining on us. We'd better find some cover soon.” He eyed the other man carefully. “Your head's bleeding again. We really need to stop soon to get a look at that. Blood red is not your color.”
“I thought it highlighted my eyes?” Sheppard joked, trying to rub some of the blood off his face with his sleeve.
“Flirting, Colonel? Just what sort of man do you...” Jack broke off, having heard something off to their left. “Incoming!” he yelled, practically throwing the other man to the ground. A barrage of arrows flew at them and rained down around them.
“Ronon?” Sheppard called into his radio. “How are those charges coming?” They had run past a small grove of large trees a few minutes ago and Jack had suggested rigging a explosion to blow them when the villagers ran past, thinking that the flying debris would create enough havoc to make good their escape.
“Almost time,” Ronon responded. “Another 30 seconds.”
“Ten-Four. Catch up with us as soon as you can.” Sheppard started to get to his feet, but swayed alarmingly.
“If you wanted me to hold you, all you had to do was ask,” Jack chided, slipping his arm around the Colonel's waist and ignoring the other man's snort of laughter. They hadn't gotten very far when there was the reassuring sound of C4 exploding in the distance. “Well, that's that. Hopefully. It was fun while it lasted though.”
“You almost sound disappointed.”
“You never feel more alive than when you're being chased!” Harkness declared with mock seriousness. “Of course, I prefer the chasing to be romantic in nature.”
“Of course,” Sheppard replied solemnly. Catching some movement at the tree line he lifted his P-90 just as there was a horrible thwunking noise and Jack stumbled into him, nearly knocking them both over before he sank to the ground. Without thinking Sheppard opened fire, even while pulling the fallen man behind a nearby tree stump for cover. Soon, Ronon was there and firing into the trees as well. When no one emerged, and no other weapons appeared, they halted their fire to take a look at their fallen teammate.
For a second, neither of them said anything. They just stared at the long spear embedded in the right side of Jack's chest. His eyes were unfocused and far too bright. “It's okay. It’ll be okay,” he gasped, “pull it out.” His hands were covered in blood as he weakly pawed at the spear. “Please?”
“Jack!” Sheppard knelt down next to the Captain. He could see that Jack was terribly pale and already having trouble staying conscious. “Damn it!!” Reaching over to try to take his pulse he was surprised when Jack grabbed his shirt with a firm grip.
“Get it out,” he pleaded again.
Ronon kept looking behind them. “We can't stay here!”
Carson had always told them that removing an impaled object like a knife or arrow or whatever would do more harm than good. But the spear was too big, there was no way to anchor it so it wouldn't do more damage when they moved him, and they had no choice but to move him. “Hold him steady, Ronon.” Sheppard waited until Ronon had a firm grip on Jack. “Ready?” he asked.
Jack nodded, closing his eyes. “Jus' do it.”
And with a sickening cracking sound, and a cry of pain, the spear was pulled out. John quickly put a pressure bandage over the wound, securing it as best he could, and then pulled Jack into a seated position to make it easier for Ronon to sling him over his shoulder.
“Teyla?” Sheppard called into his radio as they took off, continuing in their original direction. “We've lost the villagers for now, but Harkness is hurt. What have you got for us?”
“I have located a cave that we should be able to use. Doctor McKay is on his way to lead you there. How is Captain Harkness?”
“Not good,” he looked ahead at Ronon. It was impossible to tell if the body the Satedan was carrying was alive or dead. “Sheppard out.” He stumbled slightly, still dizzy from the earlier blow to the head.
Rodney appeared suddenly, almost as if magically, from a break in the brush and bramble. “This way!” he hissed at them, his eyes going wide when he saw Ronon carrying Jack. He glanced at the spear, still in Sheppard's hand then back at the fallen man. “You pulled it out?” He sounded horrified.
“Well, we couldn't leave it in!” Sheppard stumbled again and grabbed at Rodney with his free hand.
Rodney, probably realizing Sheppard needed some support, reached out and grasped an elbow before guiding him down the nearly non-existent path to the cave Teyla found. Neither of them could stop themselves from staring up ahead at Ronon, and at the very large, very dark stain that had spread over most of his back. “Sheppard?” McKay called, worriedly. “Colonel? I'm sure it's not as bad as you think.”
“I had to rip this spear out of his chest, McKay,” Sheppard wearily replied, waving the spear in McKay's face and showing the blood that still clung to the spear's point. “How good could it be?”
McKay opened his mouth as if he was going to speak, but then shut it again. He gave a little shrug. “Remember, Carson's worked miracles before. Maybe, well, look we're here. Through there,” he gestured to a split in the rock. “One nearly invisible cave, just like you ordered.”
Teyla was inside, helping Ronon ease Jack off his back and down onto the cave floor. The man was still alive, but barely. He was horribly pale with a sheen of sweat over his face. Even with the pressure bandage on the wound there was blood, so much blood, everywhere.
“We need to cover our tracks, Sheppard,” Ronon warned, “he must'a dripped a lot of blood on the trail.”
“Go,” Sheppard said as Rodney helped him over to the Captain. “McKay, go with him.”
“But...” Rodney started to protest.
“It's either hide our trail or act like a medic,” Sheppard replied, gesturing at Teyla who was already getting out the medical supplies.
“Trail it is,” McKay said quickly, practically flying out the cave entrance behind Ronon.
Sheppard knelt on the cold stone floor. “Jack?” He cut the pressure bandage and the shirt off to get a better look at the wound. It was horrific. Blood oozed between the broken ribs that poked out in various directions. Each breath sounded more labored and noticeably weaker. There was no doubt that this was a fatal injury without immediate access to the Atlantis infirmary. Sheppard clamped both hands down against Jack's chest, trying to stem the flow of blood. “Jack?” he called again.
This time the Captain's eyes fluttered in response. “Shep'rd?”
“I'm here, Jack. Right here. Hold still. Teyla and I are going to take care of you.”
“We shall do our best,” Teyla said quietly, but she kept her face down when Jack turned to look at her. She knew, as well as Harkness himself probably did, that there wasn't very much they would be able to do to help him.
“Some'in I should've tol’ you,” Jack slurred, “too late now.”
“You can tell me when we get you back to Atlantis,” Sheppard replied. “Now be quiet and conserve your strength.”
The Captain shuddered under Sheppard's hands. “Don' leave me here,” his eyes were startlingly blue and clear as he pleaded, “take my body with you.”
“Don't start talking like that. You fell into another galaxy without getting so much as a scratch, you're not going to die here.” He applied one pressure bandage after another, trying to stop the flow of blood.
“Promise...” Jack Harkness took one last rasping breath before his head lolled to the side.
Teyla reached over to take a pulse. “He is gone.”
Sheppard leaned back and sank against the wall. “No, this can't, he can't.” He slammed his hand against the wall in frustration. “Damn it!”
“Colonel Sheppard?” Teyla walked over to touch his shoulder. “Let me look at your wound.”
He was staring at his bloodstained hands and didn't seem to even realize she'd spoken.
“Your head?” Teyla repeated. “Colonel? John? I need to treat it.” She leaned forward to clean the dried blood off his face and then began to gently work on the cut itself. “There is some swelling here, you may have a concussion” She wrapped a small bandage around his forehead. “I saw some tanatha berries just outside. They can be made into a tea that will help with your dizziness.” She hesitated, looking at him as if asking permission to go. With a wave of his hand she slipped out of the cave.
Sheppard's gaze swept over Jack. “God, look at you. I don't think you've been quiet this long since I first met you. And you certainly knew how to make a first impression, didn't you? There we were innocently looking those MALP readings....” He drifted off, lost in the memories of that day.
The name 'Klortaria' supposedly translated as “Time's Stolen Land” but the telemetry readings the MALP sent back made it look more like “Time's Garbage Dump.” There were piles and piles of... stuff, in various levels of technology and advancement, strewn everywhere.
“Is that a Messerschmitt?” Sheppard called out, excitedly pointing at a twisted heap of metal. “And look, a Spitfire. I always wanted to fly one of those. How the hell did World War II era airplanes from Earth get to the Pegasus Galaxy?” The MALP had just begun to pan when there was suddenly movement from the sky. “Something's incoming,” he warned.
“If it's the Wraith prepare to...” but Elizabeth didn't finish speaking as the speck in the sky came crashing down to the planet's surface. It became obvious it wasn't a Wraith dart. She stared at it for a second before finally admitting what they could all easily see, “It's an SUV.”
“Definitely from Earth,” Rodney added. “Pretty contemporary too. Not from America or Canada though, the license plate is all wrong for that.” The SUV had crashed a few yards from the MALP, seemingly intact.
Sheppard could barely contain his excitement, practically bouncing in place. “Permission to take a team through?” he asked, eagerly.
“Permission granted; be careful!”
Less than thirty minutes later the Colonel led his team through the Stargate and onto the surface of Klortaria. Sheppard signaled Rodney to stay back as he and Ronon slowly approached the SUV from either side and Teyla guarded their flank. Banging and cursing could be heard coming from inside the car.
“Sounds human,” John commented quietly.
“Sounds angry,” Ronon hissed back.
Suddenly the door on the right side shot off its hinges and crashed into the sand a few feet away. They immediately froze in place, drawing the target into their sights.
“I'm not armed,” a voice with an American accent called out from the SUV. “Well, I've got a Webley, but it's holstered and probably wouldn't do much against your P-90s anyway. Besides, I've already got a hell of a headache from the crash landing; I don't need bullet wounds as well.”
Sheppard waited until Ronon was covering him before approaching the opening in the SUV. He wasn't sure what he had expected, but what he found certainly wasn't it.
The man was sitting with both hands on the steering wheel, looking completely relaxed, as if falling out of the sky was something that happened to him on a regular basis. “The stupid airbags didn't even deploy. Think I can get my money back?” He looked at them briefly, as if waiting for one of them to speak. When they didn't he peered up at the sky. “Stars are all wrong for me to be in the Milky Way. Judging by your uniform, you look to be United States Air Force, a Lt. Colonel if I'm not mistaken. Add that to that pretty ring over there,” he nodded at the Stargate with his chin, “I'm guessing Pegasus Galaxy?” He paused for another quick second. “I didn't cross into a parallel world somehow where no-one speaks English, did I?”
“What? No.” Sheppard took a deep breath. “Who are you?”
“Captain Jack Harkness at your service.” He bowed his head slightly. “Head of Torchwood, although I'd be shocked if you've heard of us.”
“Torchwood's on Earth?” John kept his gun on the self-proclaimed captain, but signaled for Teyla and Rodney to come closer.
“Yep, the UK's answer to guarding against the alien menace. We work in conjunction with UNIT quite a bit, and since the IOA has to report to them we know all about the SGC and you lot. Can I get out now?”
Sheppard nodded, and then couldn't help but grin when the Captain stepped out and turned around to face the SUV, standing carefully, with his feet spread apart and arms up, as if waiting to be patted down and checked for weapons.
“Well, I assumed...” he said to Sheppard over his shoulder. “I don't have a lot on me, and no weapons other than the handgun I already mentioned. There's my ID, my wallet, handcuffs, extra bullets for the Webley, a koosh ball, a few condoms, some change, shopping list, my mobile phone, a gold pen and a spare set of cufflinks.”
After carefully removing Harkness's gun from its holster and securing it, Sheppard said, “Check him, Ronon.” No one was surprised to discover that they had not been lied to, however a few of the items, like the rather large stack of condoms, caused some raised eyebrows between McKay and the Colonel.
“Sheppard,” Rodney said, stepping forward. “You don't actual believe him, do you? People don't just fall out of the sky!”
“We saw this SUV do exactly that, McKay. And it's obviously from Earth. Look around, none of this stuff is native to this planet.”
“But he sounds American,” Rodney accused.
“Hey, I'm standing right here! I sound American because I am American.”
“But you work in England?”
“Wales.”
“Same difference.”
“Not really.” He sighed.
Teyla spoke up, neatly interrupting Rodney's next tirade. “Perhaps we should continue this discussion somewhere else?” She pointed to the detritus surrounding them. “Somewhere a little more safe?”
“I'm all for going back to Atlantis,” Harkness said, rubbing his hands together. “I've always wanted to see a mythical city.” He turned back to the car, stroking it lightly for a moment. “Sorry, old girl. You're going to have to stay here.”
“You speak to your vehicle?” Teyla asked.
“I got in the habit when I was a pilot. They deserve it. She served me well, but the trip through the rift would have been too much for her circuits. At least she has good company. A Spitfire, now that's a beautiful bird.” He saw Sheppard gazing at the fighter, studying it. “Pilot?” he asked, already seeming to know the answer. “Those were before your time. Great maneuverability though, flew like a dream. She was probably in a dog fight with the Messerschmitt over there when they were both sucked through the rift.”
“Rift?” Rodney prodded. “What's the rift? And how did you get here? How do you know...”
“Rodney... DHD now. Questions later,” Sheppard warned. He turned to Harkness, gesturing towards the Stargate. “If you would come with us?”
“Take me to your leader,” Harkness joked. “You know, I always wanted to say that.”
The trip through the event horizon was uneventful. Once on the other side Elizabeth introduced herself to their guest but insisted he get a full medical check up before they spoke further so Sheppard's team “offered” to escort him to the infirmary, along with several marines who just “happened” to be heading that way. It was a ploy Harkness must have seen through immediately, his laughter filling the gate room as he commented, “Do all guests get this kind of royal treatment?” He paused in the doorway and looked over his shoulder. He caught Elizabeth's eye, and calmly added, “Why don't you look to see if there was anything hidden deep in your files about Torchwood and UNIT? It might clear some things up for you.” Then, seemingly sure that she would follow his advice, he left the room without a second glance.
“He's just like you,” McKay whispered to Sheppard as they went on their way. “Only a thousand times more Kirk-like.” It was unnerving; if not a little disconcerting to watch as Harkness smiled at everyone they passed in the halls. Well, perhaps smiled was the wrong word. He flirted. Effortlessly. With both women and men. And everyone smiled back.
After introducing the Captain to the CMO, Sheppard, McKay, Ronon and Teyla went off for a quick post-mission check-up. When shaking hands, Harkness immediately noticed the Saltire, the Scottish flag, on Beckett's uniform and switched effortlessly into Gaelic, which rather surprised the doctor.
“Who is this guy?” McKay barely managed to keep the annoyance out of his voice.
“Doctor Beckett appears to like him,” Teyla responded.
“Yeah, well, Carson's not known for having the best judgment in the world.”
“You only say that because he threatens you with the big needles whenever you two disagree on anything.” Sheppard looked over at Ronon. “What do you think, big guy?”
Ronon merely shrugged in response.
John watched as Carson began the exam. “This so-called-captain's bizarre,” he commented to McKay while shaking his head slightly. “He's from modern day Earth, driving a fully loaded SUV, but he's wearing an old style RAF uniform- even down to those suspenders and that old handgun we confiscated earlier.”
Rodney agreed. “Add to that there's the fact he's an American, but works in England....”
“Wales,” Sheppard interrupted.
“What? Wales, what?” Rodney looked confused for a moment.
“He said he works in Wales, not England.”
“He did?” He dismissed the correction with a wave of his hand. “Well, whatever.”
“Anyway,” John continued, “what I really don't get is how this guy was completely and utterly unfazed by randomly crashing onto a planet in another galaxy. I mean, how is that possible? Who behaves like that? Why is everything in the Pegasus Galaxy so damn weird?”
They stopped talking as one of the nurses stepped up to the patient in question, halting the endless Gaelic banter. “I'll need to take the patient's medical history now, Doctor.”
“Aye, that's right. Sorry lad, back to business. We'll need you to answer some questions for us.”
Suddenly, Harkness was wary. “What kind of questions?”
“Ooh, just some simple ones, to get an accurate picture of your physical and mental health. We need your previous medical history, allergies, illnesses and to make sure that little crash landing didn't leave you with any symptoms of a concussion or head injury.”
“Sorry, Doc, no can do. As I'm sure Colonel Sheppard can attest to, times like this call for a simple 'name, rank and serial number' response. Once your leader... what was her name? Dr. Weir? Once she approves my clearance I'll be happy to be a little more forthcoming.”
Carson looked over at John, who shrugged. “We can let it go for now, Doc; ask only what you absolutely have to and we'll see about filling in the rest later.”
“All right.” The nurse looked down at her questionnaire. “Name?”
“Captain Jack Harkness.”
“Age?”
He grinned. “Now that would be telling.” He waggled a finger, “a lady never asks a gentleman his age.”
“What's today's date?”
“Can't tell you that either.”
“Captain, I thought you agreed to cooperate?” Dr. Beckett chided.
“I honestly can't tell you today's date, Doctor. Not here anyway. I know when it was when I left work this morning, but the rift I slipped through is a rip in time and space. I have no idea if I traveled in time when I jumped galaxies.”
The entire infirmary grew silent. “When do you think it is, lad?”
“I'm hoping very early in the twenty-first century....”
“Aye, December 2005.”
If Sheppard hadn't been watching so carefully he would have missed the shadow that crossed the Captain's brow at hearing that tidbit of information. “Oh, that's good, December is good,” Harkness agreed, then joked, “Have I missed Christmas?”
“No, ye haven't. It's still a few weeks away.”
“Great! Although I suppose mistletoe is hard to come by in this neck of the woods.... which is a terrible shame.”
Jack seemed so serious that Carson couldn't help but laugh. “Aye, that it is! But back to business, time to get a blood sample.”
“Which will prove to you that I'm not a replicator or whatever.” He patted his chest before rolling up his sleeve. “One hundred percent human male I'm happy to report.”
Less than an hour later they had all gathered in the conference room. It was abuzz with chatter about the newcomer. A few moments passed before Elizabeth was able to gather everyone's attention. “Before we ask our guest to join us we should each make our reports. Carson,” Elizabeth suggested, “why don't you start?”
Beckett took a moment, weighing his words carefully. “I've found nothing to disprove anything he's told us. He is human. Probably in his late 30's and in perfect health; which is a little surprising given the way he landed; I would ha' expected some bruising at least. His blood work came back showing a few antibodies I couldn't identify, but if anything that supports his claims since it could easily be explained by exposure to alien pathogens from that rift he mentioned.”
“Thank you, Doctor. Rodney, what did you find in the files?”
“Technically the International Oversight Advisory does report to UNIT, which stands for the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce, by the way. Apparently Chapman, the UK representative, is IOA's liaison with them. Other than the fact it exists, I wasn't able to find out anything about Torchwood.”
Sheppard laughed. “You struck out?”
“Hey, I only had a half an hour here and...”
“Rodney.” Elizabeth glared him into silence. “The question is, do we accept Captain Harkness's story?” When no one spoke up she raised an eyebrow in the Colonel's direction. “John?”
“The fact is that we did see him fall from the sky. There's no disputing that.” Sheppard looked around the room. When no one tried to argue with his statement he continued. “The SUV was definitely from Earth. He already knew about Atlantis, and the Stargate program. Torchwood apparently does exist. I say we don't have a lot of choice here. And he could be a valuable resource.”
“Do you seriously think he might know something about the Wraith?”
“No, Rodney, I don't. But the man fell out of the sky and it didn't seem to bother him one bit. Don't you want to learn more about him?” Rodney only shrugged in response and looked toward Elizabeth.
Elizabeth smiled. “I think John's right, the potential outweighs the risk here.”
“I agree,” Ronon said succinctly.
“I, too, wish to learn more about the Captain,” Teyla added.
“Carson?” Elizabeth asked.
“He is quite a personable fellow, even knows Gaelic. We should see what he has to say.”
“Personable? Knows Gaelic?” Rodney muttered under his breath. “What the hell does that-”
“Rodney, I know you have concerns,” Elizabeth interrupted. “But I think you can agree that the benefits outweigh any possible risks in this case. Please let our guest in.”
The Captain had been leaning against the wall, amicably chatting with the soldiers guarding him when the door slid open. With the briefest of glances into the room he seemed to have instantly surmised that his fate had been determined, and that the news was good. “So? No brig in my future I trust?”
“No, we are provisionally accepting your credentials, Captain Harkness, but we'd like some more information,” Elizabeth explained.
“Wondering about who I work for, I assume?” He paused, smiling at the unspoken affirmation. “That's understandable. Okay, here goes. Buckle your seat belts boys and girls it's going to be a bumpy ride.” Harkness closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before continuing. “Torchwood was created in 1879, to defend the British Empire against the alien threat. UNIT's been doing the same thing, but on a global level since the 1960's. You guys are the new kids on the block. The American government pretty much ignored aliens until that whole mess with... Aphothos? No.. That doesn't sound right... Athophis?”
“Apophis,” Rodney interrupted, correcting him automatically.
“Thanks,” but the Harkness didn't continue speaking, seeming to finally notice the unblinking stares he was receiving from everyone around the table. “Too much, too soon? Sorry.”
“It is quite a lot of information to take in at one time, Captain,” Elizabeth agreed.
“And it does appear that Colonel Sheppard was right,” Teyla spoke up, “that you may be a valuable resource for us in Atlantis.”
Harkness gave a wry half-grin over her comment, but it had an element to it that made Sheppard sit up a bit straighter. “Captain, can't help but get the feeling that you're hiding something.” His brow furrowed, thinking back on the day for a moment before leaning forward, as things fell into place. “I must admit I'm a little curious. Just when was it when you left work this morning?”
“Ahh,” Harkness rubbed a hand along his cheek trying to hide the slight chagrined look on his face. “I was wondering when you'd ask me that.”
“What...what do you mean?” Rodney interrupted, glancing from Sheppard to Harkness and back again.
“He said it was a rift in time and space, Rodney. Well, Captain?”
“It was December,” Harkness began, carefully.
“But not 2005.”
“No.”
“Can you tell us when?”
“I'd rather not. It might make things, well, messy.” He saw Sheppard was still eying him. “Messier. I slipped back in time a little, just a few years. It's not a big deal.”
“Time travel is not a big deal?!?!! Are you kidding me!” Rodney's voice nearly cracked. “Time travel! You don't believe him, do you Sheppard?”
Harkness and Sheppard stared at one another for several moments before Sheppard broke contact and looked at McKay. “Time dilation field, Rodney? We know that kind of technology can exist. You accepted that, why can't you accept this?”
“The lack of proof perhaps?” McKay countered.
Harkness had been digging his hands in his pockets, finally pulling out a handful of coins. “Maybe I can help you there.” He dropped them on the table, sorting through them quickly, “1999, 2003, 2005, 1991... Ahh... here you go.” He passed Rodney a £1 coin. “2007. Proof enough for you?”
Rodney held the coin so tightly his fingers turned white. “2007. It says 2007. This coin was minted in 2007. It's only 2005, but this coin was minted in 2007. That's two years from now! Do you see this?” He shoved the coin in Sheppard's face. “2007!”
“I see it, McKay, I see it.” He also saw Harkness quickly and quietly pocketing several of the other coins, but didn't comment on it. “You're awfully calm about this, Captain. I take it the idea of time travel isn't unusual to you?”
“It's something I've encountered before, yes...” Looking carefully around the room, he realized all eyes were fixed on him, stunned looks plastered on all the faces. “It's not as unusual or as uncommon as you would assume. Time isn't a straight line of fixed points like most people think. I mean, most people travel on a.... in... in a straight line,” he drew a line in the air with his hands, “from birth to death, one step in front of the other,” and mimed point after point on the line, “but it doesn't necessarily have to happen that way. It just usually does. Here. Now. I'm not making much sense, am I?” He shoved his hands into his pockets in frustration. “I have a friend who could explain this all much better,” he muttered.
“Actually,” Elizabeth interrupted, “my own experiences aside, there was an incident on Earth a few years back when one of the Stargate teams wound up traveling to the 1960's by accident when their trip through the wormhole coincided with a solar flare.”
Carson raised his hand slightly. “Aye, that's right. I read the mission report.”
“Your own experiences?” Harkness asked, obviously quite interested.
“It’s a long story.” Elizabeth sighed and leaned back in her chair, as if signaling that the matter was closed for discussion.
“Okay, so you're from Earth. And from the future.” Sheppard paused, looking around, as if daring one of the others to disagree with him. “The question becomes, what do we do with you?”
“Going home might be a problem, at least at the moment. Time lines and all that. And from what I've read there are certain,” he cleared his throat, “people, and I use that term loosely, that I'm better off avoiding at your Stargate Command. Well, maybe not at the SGC itself, but if I was mentioned in reports then the wrong people might find out.” He paused, observing a look that passed between Weir and Sheppard. “I don't suppose, would it be possible not to send me back? Or, even let them know about me?” His eyes dropped to the floor, in an endearingly, if atypically shy, manner which, by the way Sheppard loudly cleared his throat, at least one person in the room did not believe in the slightest.
The events with Colonel Caldwell and the Trust were fresh in everyone's minds on Atlantis, and considering the NID and Trust's track record in dealing with people they thought might be useful, it was obvious who it was that the Captain was wishing to avoid, and why. Even Sheppard couldn't let that happen if it could be helped. “I suppose we could manage that,” Weir said, after catching Sheppard's nod of consent. “Welcome to Atlantis, Captain. I look forward to working with you.”
She stood to shake Harkness' hand. Soon, they were all enthusiastically welcoming him to Atlantis. He shocked Teyla by giving her the traditional Athosian greeting of touching foreheads without any prompting. Sheppard noticed it, and Harkness, aware of how keenly the Colonel was keeping an eye on him, merely shrugged in response. He excused himself from Teyla and walked over to the Colonel, trying to brush off the other man's concerns by commenting, “Any excuse to flirt, right?”
Sheppard didn't look like he believed Harkness in the slightest but took that opportunity to ask, “Do you plan on flirting with every person in Atlantis?”
“All the cute ones, yes.” Harkness waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
“And they're all cute, right?” Sheppard found himself beginning to smile.
“Of course, of course. Have a problem with that?”
“No, but I wanna be there when you hit on McKay!”
Rodney, having overheard his name mentioned, walked up. “Are you talking about me?” He couldn't help but notice the amused looks between them. “What? What'd I miss?” The Captain and Colonel burst out laughing. “Hey! What'd I say? What's so funny?”
Sheppard laughed at the memory. “Elizabeth had no idea what she was getting herself into when she said you could stay. What we were all getting ourselves into.” Then he sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “Teyla's sure taking her time with those berries. Do you think she left us alone on purpose?” Sheppard looked down at Jack's body for a moment. “A chance for goodbyes or something. Except I'm not really that good at goodbyes.” He looked at Harkness more carefully. “Wait a sec.”
There was something odd about the body. The ribs didn't jut out at that weird angle anymore. He pushed away from the wall to kneel down beside the other man. Hadn't there been a lot more blood, just a few moments ago? He leaned forward to peek under the bandage when all of a sudden the body, Jack, shuddered. There was a loud gasp and somehow, despite how utterly impossible it could be, the dead man was breathing again.
Jack's eyes flew open and he looked around. Seeing Sheppard kneeling there, staring at him, he sat up slowly. “Sorry. Sorry, I should have said.” His brow furrowed as he examined the other man's face. “You're not going to faint, are you?”
“No. Soldiers do not faint.” Sheppard scooted backwards, away from the somehow suddenly alive man and pointed at him, accusingly. “You're not dead.”
“No.” Harkness reached a hand out to steady John, who was swaying slightly. “I can't die.”
“But you did. You died. Right here.” He waved his hands at the floor of the cave.
“Fine, if you want to argue semantics with me it's not that I can't die, it's just that I don't stay dead.” Eying Sheppard carefully, Harkness pulled the medical supplies over. “Are you sure you're all right? Maybe you should have some water or something. Let me find a canteen.”
Sheppard forcibly grabbed the other man's arms. “Stop. Wait. You were dead.”
“Yes.”
“But now you're alive.”
“Yes.”
Sheppard slowly moved his right hand to Jack's chest and peeled away the bandages and cut shirt. There was no injury there. No sign of a wound at all. “I pulled that spear out of your chest.”
“Yes. Thanks for that by the way.”
“You're human?”
“Yep, and Doctor Beckett ran all the tests to prove it.”
“Not an Ancient or something...”
“Nope, as human as you are.”
“But you can't die.”
“Well, stay dead anyway.” Harkness smiled.
“Whatever!” Sheppard shook his head as his voice grew louder and shriller. “You're alive!” He was almost yelling.
“Umm, sorry?”
“You're alive,” Sheppard repeated, but much more quietly.
“Some people might consider that a good thing,” Jack said, lightly. “I should have told you, warned you, but it's not the sort of secret I can trust many people with.”
“Yeah, I can see how that could be a problem.” Sheppard sat back and leaned against the wall again, closing his eyes. “My head's killing me. This isn't some weird hallucination from the head injury, is it? Or have I slipped into a coma and now I'm dreaming all this?”
“Do you want it to be a dream?” Harkness asked, his tone serious, but there was a touch of sadness to it.
“No. God, no.”
“Good.” Sheppard could hear the smile in Jack's voice. “Because this is real.” Jack reached over, taking the other man's hand and squeezing it. “See? Real.” John opened one eye, still looking like he didn't quite believe what he was seeing when Teyla walked back in and dropped all the berries she collected on the floor in surprise.
“Captain? What...” Teyla, being Teyla, instantly pulled her weapon.
“Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated," Jack tried to joke. “It's okay, I'm not dead, but I'm not a weird alien thing either. You can put down the gun.” He raised his hands, and looked over at Sheppard. “John, tell her she can put down the gun!”
“Err, right. Teyla, we were wrong. He wasn't dead. There was some sort of, umm, poison on the spear. We just thought he was dead, but he's not dead, he's fine.” Sheppard winced slightly, the excuse sounded pathetic, even to him.
“But he has no sign of the wound. I saw where the spear tore his chest. It is completely healed now!”
Pushing himself up and off the wall, Sheppard staggered over to Teyla. “Teyla? Please.” He put his hand out, motioning for her to put down the gun. With great reluctance she holstered it. Turning back to Jack he said, “I believe you owe her an explanation, Captain. Come to think of it, you owe me one too. You never did say how you managed that not dying trick.”
Harkness gave a resigned sigh. “Can I at least wait till McKay and Ronon are back? It's a complicated story, I'd rather only have to go through it once.”
Sheppard nodded, but Teyla continued to stare at Jack.
“You are alive,” she whispered.
“Yes.”
“But you were dead.”
Jack put his head in his hands. “Here we go again...”
Part Two
Pairing/Rating/Warning: none, rated PG, contains spoilers for SGA through S2
Word Count: 11878 total (Part One 6404)
Betas: The wonderful jadesfire2808 and _medley_
Summary: Colonel Sheppard's team gets into hot water off world when he accidently insults a village chieftain's daughter. Can their new teammate, Captain Jack Harkness, get them out of it?
Author's Note: Crossover between Torchwood and Stargate: Atlantis. Written for karaokegal's"Come as You Aren't Halloween Party." Now with DVD commentary.
Author's Note 2: This story is set at some unspecified time after TW's S1, but immediately after SGA 2x13, "Critical Mass" and had to be split in two parts to post at livejournal.
Author's Note 3: The wonderful art for this story was made by _medley_, whom I can not thank enough!!!
“Keep running!” Colonel Sheppard yelled as they crashed through the underbrush, running full tilt.
“But which way?” McKay whined. That wasn't unusual. Rodney hated running of any kind, especially the frantic 'running for your life' variety.
“Away from that!!” Sheppard gestured vaguely at the irate villagers off in the distance who chasing them and hurling spears and arrows in their general direction.
Captain Jack Harkness just laughed. “Out of range is always good!”
“But what about the Stargate? Wouldn't it make more sense to run towards it instead of away from?” McKay pointed out.
“Well, Rodney, if you really want to go confront the nice people trying to kill us, be my guest. I'd rather hope those mountains up ahead have enough places where we can hide until Atlantis sends us some help when we don't check in tomorrow.” He called into his radio, “Teyla, find any good hiding spots yet?” He could barely make out Teyla up ahead on point, but he knew that McKay, who was a little further ahead, was keeping her in sight so he wasn't concerned.
“No, Colonel, I'm afraid not.”
“Damn it!” Sheppard stumbled slightly. He had an arm slung over Harkness's shoulder for balance but was still a little unsteady on his feet after having taken a blow to the head. He felt the arm supporting him around his waist tighten slightly.
“You okay?” Jack asked quietly, his breath ghosting against Sheppard's neck. When there was no response other than a half-hearted grunt he added, “Do me a favor?”
“Depends on the favor.”
“Next time you have the desire to make a comment about how some village chieftain's daughter resembles the local camel-like creature-thing, make sure no one overhears you?”
“I just wanted to make sure you got your exercise today, wouldn't want you to get fat now would we? And, besides, you did say you wanted your first mission as an official part of our team to be a memorable one!” Sheppard let go for a second so the other man could turn around and fire off some rounds in the direction of the villagers pursing them.
Jack quickly grabbed Sheppard again and increased their pace. “They're still gaining on us. We'd better find some cover soon.” He eyed the other man carefully. “Your head's bleeding again. We really need to stop soon to get a look at that. Blood red is not your color.”
“I thought it highlighted my eyes?” Sheppard joked, trying to rub some of the blood off his face with his sleeve.
“Flirting, Colonel? Just what sort of man do you...” Jack broke off, having heard something off to their left. “Incoming!” he yelled, practically throwing the other man to the ground. A barrage of arrows flew at them and rained down around them.
“Ronon?” Sheppard called into his radio. “How are those charges coming?” They had run past a small grove of large trees a few minutes ago and Jack had suggested rigging a explosion to blow them when the villagers ran past, thinking that the flying debris would create enough havoc to make good their escape.
“Almost time,” Ronon responded. “Another 30 seconds.”
“Ten-Four. Catch up with us as soon as you can.” Sheppard started to get to his feet, but swayed alarmingly.
“If you wanted me to hold you, all you had to do was ask,” Jack chided, slipping his arm around the Colonel's waist and ignoring the other man's snort of laughter. They hadn't gotten very far when there was the reassuring sound of C4 exploding in the distance. “Well, that's that. Hopefully. It was fun while it lasted though.”
“You almost sound disappointed.”
“You never feel more alive than when you're being chased!” Harkness declared with mock seriousness. “Of course, I prefer the chasing to be romantic in nature.”
“Of course,” Sheppard replied solemnly. Catching some movement at the tree line he lifted his P-90 just as there was a horrible thwunking noise and Jack stumbled into him, nearly knocking them both over before he sank to the ground. Without thinking Sheppard opened fire, even while pulling the fallen man behind a nearby tree stump for cover. Soon, Ronon was there and firing into the trees as well. When no one emerged, and no other weapons appeared, they halted their fire to take a look at their fallen teammate.
For a second, neither of them said anything. They just stared at the long spear embedded in the right side of Jack's chest. His eyes were unfocused and far too bright. “It's okay. It’ll be okay,” he gasped, “pull it out.” His hands were covered in blood as he weakly pawed at the spear. “Please?”
“Jack!” Sheppard knelt down next to the Captain. He could see that Jack was terribly pale and already having trouble staying conscious. “Damn it!!” Reaching over to try to take his pulse he was surprised when Jack grabbed his shirt with a firm grip.
“Get it out,” he pleaded again.
Ronon kept looking behind them. “We can't stay here!”
Carson had always told them that removing an impaled object like a knife or arrow or whatever would do more harm than good. But the spear was too big, there was no way to anchor it so it wouldn't do more damage when they moved him, and they had no choice but to move him. “Hold him steady, Ronon.” Sheppard waited until Ronon had a firm grip on Jack. “Ready?” he asked.
Jack nodded, closing his eyes. “Jus' do it.”
And with a sickening cracking sound, and a cry of pain, the spear was pulled out. John quickly put a pressure bandage over the wound, securing it as best he could, and then pulled Jack into a seated position to make it easier for Ronon to sling him over his shoulder.
“Teyla?” Sheppard called into his radio as they took off, continuing in their original direction. “We've lost the villagers for now, but Harkness is hurt. What have you got for us?”
“I have located a cave that we should be able to use. Doctor McKay is on his way to lead you there. How is Captain Harkness?”
“Not good,” he looked ahead at Ronon. It was impossible to tell if the body the Satedan was carrying was alive or dead. “Sheppard out.” He stumbled slightly, still dizzy from the earlier blow to the head.
Rodney appeared suddenly, almost as if magically, from a break in the brush and bramble. “This way!” he hissed at them, his eyes going wide when he saw Ronon carrying Jack. He glanced at the spear, still in Sheppard's hand then back at the fallen man. “You pulled it out?” He sounded horrified.
“Well, we couldn't leave it in!” Sheppard stumbled again and grabbed at Rodney with his free hand.
Rodney, probably realizing Sheppard needed some support, reached out and grasped an elbow before guiding him down the nearly non-existent path to the cave Teyla found. Neither of them could stop themselves from staring up ahead at Ronon, and at the very large, very dark stain that had spread over most of his back. “Sheppard?” McKay called, worriedly. “Colonel? I'm sure it's not as bad as you think.”
“I had to rip this spear out of his chest, McKay,” Sheppard wearily replied, waving the spear in McKay's face and showing the blood that still clung to the spear's point. “How good could it be?”
McKay opened his mouth as if he was going to speak, but then shut it again. He gave a little shrug. “Remember, Carson's worked miracles before. Maybe, well, look we're here. Through there,” he gestured to a split in the rock. “One nearly invisible cave, just like you ordered.”
Teyla was inside, helping Ronon ease Jack off his back and down onto the cave floor. The man was still alive, but barely. He was horribly pale with a sheen of sweat over his face. Even with the pressure bandage on the wound there was blood, so much blood, everywhere.
“We need to cover our tracks, Sheppard,” Ronon warned, “he must'a dripped a lot of blood on the trail.”
“Go,” Sheppard said as Rodney helped him over to the Captain. “McKay, go with him.”
“But...” Rodney started to protest.
“It's either hide our trail or act like a medic,” Sheppard replied, gesturing at Teyla who was already getting out the medical supplies.
“Trail it is,” McKay said quickly, practically flying out the cave entrance behind Ronon.
Sheppard knelt on the cold stone floor. “Jack?” He cut the pressure bandage and the shirt off to get a better look at the wound. It was horrific. Blood oozed between the broken ribs that poked out in various directions. Each breath sounded more labored and noticeably weaker. There was no doubt that this was a fatal injury without immediate access to the Atlantis infirmary. Sheppard clamped both hands down against Jack's chest, trying to stem the flow of blood. “Jack?” he called again.
This time the Captain's eyes fluttered in response. “Shep'rd?”
“I'm here, Jack. Right here. Hold still. Teyla and I are going to take care of you.”
“We shall do our best,” Teyla said quietly, but she kept her face down when Jack turned to look at her. She knew, as well as Harkness himself probably did, that there wasn't very much they would be able to do to help him.
“Some'in I should've tol’ you,” Jack slurred, “too late now.”
“You can tell me when we get you back to Atlantis,” Sheppard replied. “Now be quiet and conserve your strength.”
The Captain shuddered under Sheppard's hands. “Don' leave me here,” his eyes were startlingly blue and clear as he pleaded, “take my body with you.”
“Don't start talking like that. You fell into another galaxy without getting so much as a scratch, you're not going to die here.” He applied one pressure bandage after another, trying to stop the flow of blood.
“Promise...” Jack Harkness took one last rasping breath before his head lolled to the side.
Teyla reached over to take a pulse. “He is gone.”
Sheppard leaned back and sank against the wall. “No, this can't, he can't.” He slammed his hand against the wall in frustration. “Damn it!”
“Colonel Sheppard?” Teyla walked over to touch his shoulder. “Let me look at your wound.”
He was staring at his bloodstained hands and didn't seem to even realize she'd spoken.
“Your head?” Teyla repeated. “Colonel? John? I need to treat it.” She leaned forward to clean the dried blood off his face and then began to gently work on the cut itself. “There is some swelling here, you may have a concussion” She wrapped a small bandage around his forehead. “I saw some tanatha berries just outside. They can be made into a tea that will help with your dizziness.” She hesitated, looking at him as if asking permission to go. With a wave of his hand she slipped out of the cave.
Sheppard's gaze swept over Jack. “God, look at you. I don't think you've been quiet this long since I first met you. And you certainly knew how to make a first impression, didn't you? There we were innocently looking those MALP readings....” He drifted off, lost in the memories of that day.
The name 'Klortaria' supposedly translated as “Time's Stolen Land” but the telemetry readings the MALP sent back made it look more like “Time's Garbage Dump.” There were piles and piles of... stuff, in various levels of technology and advancement, strewn everywhere.
“Is that a Messerschmitt?” Sheppard called out, excitedly pointing at a twisted heap of metal. “And look, a Spitfire. I always wanted to fly one of those. How the hell did World War II era airplanes from Earth get to the Pegasus Galaxy?” The MALP had just begun to pan when there was suddenly movement from the sky. “Something's incoming,” he warned.
“If it's the Wraith prepare to...” but Elizabeth didn't finish speaking as the speck in the sky came crashing down to the planet's surface. It became obvious it wasn't a Wraith dart. She stared at it for a second before finally admitting what they could all easily see, “It's an SUV.”
“Definitely from Earth,” Rodney added. “Pretty contemporary too. Not from America or Canada though, the license plate is all wrong for that.” The SUV had crashed a few yards from the MALP, seemingly intact.
Sheppard could barely contain his excitement, practically bouncing in place. “Permission to take a team through?” he asked, eagerly.
“Permission granted; be careful!”
Less than thirty minutes later the Colonel led his team through the Stargate and onto the surface of Klortaria. Sheppard signaled Rodney to stay back as he and Ronon slowly approached the SUV from either side and Teyla guarded their flank. Banging and cursing could be heard coming from inside the car.
“Sounds human,” John commented quietly.
“Sounds angry,” Ronon hissed back.
Suddenly the door on the right side shot off its hinges and crashed into the sand a few feet away. They immediately froze in place, drawing the target into their sights.
“I'm not armed,” a voice with an American accent called out from the SUV. “Well, I've got a Webley, but it's holstered and probably wouldn't do much against your P-90s anyway. Besides, I've already got a hell of a headache from the crash landing; I don't need bullet wounds as well.”
Sheppard waited until Ronon was covering him before approaching the opening in the SUV. He wasn't sure what he had expected, but what he found certainly wasn't it.
The man was sitting with both hands on the steering wheel, looking completely relaxed, as if falling out of the sky was something that happened to him on a regular basis. “The stupid airbags didn't even deploy. Think I can get my money back?” He looked at them briefly, as if waiting for one of them to speak. When they didn't he peered up at the sky. “Stars are all wrong for me to be in the Milky Way. Judging by your uniform, you look to be United States Air Force, a Lt. Colonel if I'm not mistaken. Add that to that pretty ring over there,” he nodded at the Stargate with his chin, “I'm guessing Pegasus Galaxy?” He paused for another quick second. “I didn't cross into a parallel world somehow where no-one speaks English, did I?”
“What? No.” Sheppard took a deep breath. “Who are you?”
“Captain Jack Harkness at your service.” He bowed his head slightly. “Head of Torchwood, although I'd be shocked if you've heard of us.”
“Torchwood's on Earth?” John kept his gun on the self-proclaimed captain, but signaled for Teyla and Rodney to come closer.
“Yep, the UK's answer to guarding against the alien menace. We work in conjunction with UNIT quite a bit, and since the IOA has to report to them we know all about the SGC and you lot. Can I get out now?”
Sheppard nodded, and then couldn't help but grin when the Captain stepped out and turned around to face the SUV, standing carefully, with his feet spread apart and arms up, as if waiting to be patted down and checked for weapons.
“Well, I assumed...” he said to Sheppard over his shoulder. “I don't have a lot on me, and no weapons other than the handgun I already mentioned. There's my ID, my wallet, handcuffs, extra bullets for the Webley, a koosh ball, a few condoms, some change, shopping list, my mobile phone, a gold pen and a spare set of cufflinks.”
After carefully removing Harkness's gun from its holster and securing it, Sheppard said, “Check him, Ronon.” No one was surprised to discover that they had not been lied to, however a few of the items, like the rather large stack of condoms, caused some raised eyebrows between McKay and the Colonel.
“Sheppard,” Rodney said, stepping forward. “You don't actual believe him, do you? People don't just fall out of the sky!”
“We saw this SUV do exactly that, McKay. And it's obviously from Earth. Look around, none of this stuff is native to this planet.”
“But he sounds American,” Rodney accused.
“Hey, I'm standing right here! I sound American because I am American.”
“But you work in England?”
“Wales.”
“Same difference.”
“Not really.” He sighed.
Teyla spoke up, neatly interrupting Rodney's next tirade. “Perhaps we should continue this discussion somewhere else?” She pointed to the detritus surrounding them. “Somewhere a little more safe?”
“I'm all for going back to Atlantis,” Harkness said, rubbing his hands together. “I've always wanted to see a mythical city.” He turned back to the car, stroking it lightly for a moment. “Sorry, old girl. You're going to have to stay here.”
“You speak to your vehicle?” Teyla asked.
“I got in the habit when I was a pilot. They deserve it. She served me well, but the trip through the rift would have been too much for her circuits. At least she has good company. A Spitfire, now that's a beautiful bird.” He saw Sheppard gazing at the fighter, studying it. “Pilot?” he asked, already seeming to know the answer. “Those were before your time. Great maneuverability though, flew like a dream. She was probably in a dog fight with the Messerschmitt over there when they were both sucked through the rift.”
“Rift?” Rodney prodded. “What's the rift? And how did you get here? How do you know...”
“Rodney... DHD now. Questions later,” Sheppard warned. He turned to Harkness, gesturing towards the Stargate. “If you would come with us?”
“Take me to your leader,” Harkness joked. “You know, I always wanted to say that.”
The trip through the event horizon was uneventful. Once on the other side Elizabeth introduced herself to their guest but insisted he get a full medical check up before they spoke further so Sheppard's team “offered” to escort him to the infirmary, along with several marines who just “happened” to be heading that way. It was a ploy Harkness must have seen through immediately, his laughter filling the gate room as he commented, “Do all guests get this kind of royal treatment?” He paused in the doorway and looked over his shoulder. He caught Elizabeth's eye, and calmly added, “Why don't you look to see if there was anything hidden deep in your files about Torchwood and UNIT? It might clear some things up for you.” Then, seemingly sure that she would follow his advice, he left the room without a second glance.
“He's just like you,” McKay whispered to Sheppard as they went on their way. “Only a thousand times more Kirk-like.” It was unnerving; if not a little disconcerting to watch as Harkness smiled at everyone they passed in the halls. Well, perhaps smiled was the wrong word. He flirted. Effortlessly. With both women and men. And everyone smiled back.
After introducing the Captain to the CMO, Sheppard, McKay, Ronon and Teyla went off for a quick post-mission check-up. When shaking hands, Harkness immediately noticed the Saltire, the Scottish flag, on Beckett's uniform and switched effortlessly into Gaelic, which rather surprised the doctor.
“Who is this guy?” McKay barely managed to keep the annoyance out of his voice.
“Doctor Beckett appears to like him,” Teyla responded.
“Yeah, well, Carson's not known for having the best judgment in the world.”
“You only say that because he threatens you with the big needles whenever you two disagree on anything.” Sheppard looked over at Ronon. “What do you think, big guy?”
Ronon merely shrugged in response.
John watched as Carson began the exam. “This so-called-captain's bizarre,” he commented to McKay while shaking his head slightly. “He's from modern day Earth, driving a fully loaded SUV, but he's wearing an old style RAF uniform- even down to those suspenders and that old handgun we confiscated earlier.”
Rodney agreed. “Add to that there's the fact he's an American, but works in England....”
“Wales,” Sheppard interrupted.
“What? Wales, what?” Rodney looked confused for a moment.
“He said he works in Wales, not England.”
“He did?” He dismissed the correction with a wave of his hand. “Well, whatever.”
“Anyway,” John continued, “what I really don't get is how this guy was completely and utterly unfazed by randomly crashing onto a planet in another galaxy. I mean, how is that possible? Who behaves like that? Why is everything in the Pegasus Galaxy so damn weird?”
They stopped talking as one of the nurses stepped up to the patient in question, halting the endless Gaelic banter. “I'll need to take the patient's medical history now, Doctor.”
“Aye, that's right. Sorry lad, back to business. We'll need you to answer some questions for us.”
Suddenly, Harkness was wary. “What kind of questions?”
“Ooh, just some simple ones, to get an accurate picture of your physical and mental health. We need your previous medical history, allergies, illnesses and to make sure that little crash landing didn't leave you with any symptoms of a concussion or head injury.”
“Sorry, Doc, no can do. As I'm sure Colonel Sheppard can attest to, times like this call for a simple 'name, rank and serial number' response. Once your leader... what was her name? Dr. Weir? Once she approves my clearance I'll be happy to be a little more forthcoming.”
Carson looked over at John, who shrugged. “We can let it go for now, Doc; ask only what you absolutely have to and we'll see about filling in the rest later.”
“All right.” The nurse looked down at her questionnaire. “Name?”
“Captain Jack Harkness.”
“Age?”
He grinned. “Now that would be telling.” He waggled a finger, “a lady never asks a gentleman his age.”
“What's today's date?”
“Can't tell you that either.”
“Captain, I thought you agreed to cooperate?” Dr. Beckett chided.
“I honestly can't tell you today's date, Doctor. Not here anyway. I know when it was when I left work this morning, but the rift I slipped through is a rip in time and space. I have no idea if I traveled in time when I jumped galaxies.”
The entire infirmary grew silent. “When do you think it is, lad?”
“I'm hoping very early in the twenty-first century....”
“Aye, December 2005.”
If Sheppard hadn't been watching so carefully he would have missed the shadow that crossed the Captain's brow at hearing that tidbit of information. “Oh, that's good, December is good,” Harkness agreed, then joked, “Have I missed Christmas?”
“No, ye haven't. It's still a few weeks away.”
“Great! Although I suppose mistletoe is hard to come by in this neck of the woods.... which is a terrible shame.”
Jack seemed so serious that Carson couldn't help but laugh. “Aye, that it is! But back to business, time to get a blood sample.”
“Which will prove to you that I'm not a replicator or whatever.” He patted his chest before rolling up his sleeve. “One hundred percent human male I'm happy to report.”
Less than an hour later they had all gathered in the conference room. It was abuzz with chatter about the newcomer. A few moments passed before Elizabeth was able to gather everyone's attention. “Before we ask our guest to join us we should each make our reports. Carson,” Elizabeth suggested, “why don't you start?”
Beckett took a moment, weighing his words carefully. “I've found nothing to disprove anything he's told us. He is human. Probably in his late 30's and in perfect health; which is a little surprising given the way he landed; I would ha' expected some bruising at least. His blood work came back showing a few antibodies I couldn't identify, but if anything that supports his claims since it could easily be explained by exposure to alien pathogens from that rift he mentioned.”
“Thank you, Doctor. Rodney, what did you find in the files?”
“Technically the International Oversight Advisory does report to UNIT, which stands for the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce, by the way. Apparently Chapman, the UK representative, is IOA's liaison with them. Other than the fact it exists, I wasn't able to find out anything about Torchwood.”
Sheppard laughed. “You struck out?”
“Hey, I only had a half an hour here and...”
“Rodney.” Elizabeth glared him into silence. “The question is, do we accept Captain Harkness's story?” When no one spoke up she raised an eyebrow in the Colonel's direction. “John?”
“The fact is that we did see him fall from the sky. There's no disputing that.” Sheppard looked around the room. When no one tried to argue with his statement he continued. “The SUV was definitely from Earth. He already knew about Atlantis, and the Stargate program. Torchwood apparently does exist. I say we don't have a lot of choice here. And he could be a valuable resource.”
“Do you seriously think he might know something about the Wraith?”
“No, Rodney, I don't. But the man fell out of the sky and it didn't seem to bother him one bit. Don't you want to learn more about him?” Rodney only shrugged in response and looked toward Elizabeth.
Elizabeth smiled. “I think John's right, the potential outweighs the risk here.”
“I agree,” Ronon said succinctly.
“I, too, wish to learn more about the Captain,” Teyla added.
“Carson?” Elizabeth asked.
“He is quite a personable fellow, even knows Gaelic. We should see what he has to say.”
“Personable? Knows Gaelic?” Rodney muttered under his breath. “What the hell does that-”
“Rodney, I know you have concerns,” Elizabeth interrupted. “But I think you can agree that the benefits outweigh any possible risks in this case. Please let our guest in.”
The Captain had been leaning against the wall, amicably chatting with the soldiers guarding him when the door slid open. With the briefest of glances into the room he seemed to have instantly surmised that his fate had been determined, and that the news was good. “So? No brig in my future I trust?”
“No, we are provisionally accepting your credentials, Captain Harkness, but we'd like some more information,” Elizabeth explained.
“Wondering about who I work for, I assume?” He paused, smiling at the unspoken affirmation. “That's understandable. Okay, here goes. Buckle your seat belts boys and girls it's going to be a bumpy ride.” Harkness closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before continuing. “Torchwood was created in 1879, to defend the British Empire against the alien threat. UNIT's been doing the same thing, but on a global level since the 1960's. You guys are the new kids on the block. The American government pretty much ignored aliens until that whole mess with... Aphothos? No.. That doesn't sound right... Athophis?”
“Apophis,” Rodney interrupted, correcting him automatically.
“Thanks,” but the Harkness didn't continue speaking, seeming to finally notice the unblinking stares he was receiving from everyone around the table. “Too much, too soon? Sorry.”
“It is quite a lot of information to take in at one time, Captain,” Elizabeth agreed.
“And it does appear that Colonel Sheppard was right,” Teyla spoke up, “that you may be a valuable resource for us in Atlantis.”
Harkness gave a wry half-grin over her comment, but it had an element to it that made Sheppard sit up a bit straighter. “Captain, can't help but get the feeling that you're hiding something.” His brow furrowed, thinking back on the day for a moment before leaning forward, as things fell into place. “I must admit I'm a little curious. Just when was it when you left work this morning?”
“Ahh,” Harkness rubbed a hand along his cheek trying to hide the slight chagrined look on his face. “I was wondering when you'd ask me that.”
“What...what do you mean?” Rodney interrupted, glancing from Sheppard to Harkness and back again.
“He said it was a rift in time and space, Rodney. Well, Captain?”
“It was December,” Harkness began, carefully.
“But not 2005.”
“No.”
“Can you tell us when?”
“I'd rather not. It might make things, well, messy.” He saw Sheppard was still eying him. “Messier. I slipped back in time a little, just a few years. It's not a big deal.”
“Time travel is not a big deal?!?!! Are you kidding me!” Rodney's voice nearly cracked. “Time travel! You don't believe him, do you Sheppard?”
Harkness and Sheppard stared at one another for several moments before Sheppard broke contact and looked at McKay. “Time dilation field, Rodney? We know that kind of technology can exist. You accepted that, why can't you accept this?”
“The lack of proof perhaps?” McKay countered.
Harkness had been digging his hands in his pockets, finally pulling out a handful of coins. “Maybe I can help you there.” He dropped them on the table, sorting through them quickly, “1999, 2003, 2005, 1991... Ahh... here you go.” He passed Rodney a £1 coin. “2007. Proof enough for you?”
Rodney held the coin so tightly his fingers turned white. “2007. It says 2007. This coin was minted in 2007. It's only 2005, but this coin was minted in 2007. That's two years from now! Do you see this?” He shoved the coin in Sheppard's face. “2007!”
“I see it, McKay, I see it.” He also saw Harkness quickly and quietly pocketing several of the other coins, but didn't comment on it. “You're awfully calm about this, Captain. I take it the idea of time travel isn't unusual to you?”
“It's something I've encountered before, yes...” Looking carefully around the room, he realized all eyes were fixed on him, stunned looks plastered on all the faces. “It's not as unusual or as uncommon as you would assume. Time isn't a straight line of fixed points like most people think. I mean, most people travel on a.... in... in a straight line,” he drew a line in the air with his hands, “from birth to death, one step in front of the other,” and mimed point after point on the line, “but it doesn't necessarily have to happen that way. It just usually does. Here. Now. I'm not making much sense, am I?” He shoved his hands into his pockets in frustration. “I have a friend who could explain this all much better,” he muttered.
“Actually,” Elizabeth interrupted, “my own experiences aside, there was an incident on Earth a few years back when one of the Stargate teams wound up traveling to the 1960's by accident when their trip through the wormhole coincided with a solar flare.”
Carson raised his hand slightly. “Aye, that's right. I read the mission report.”
“Your own experiences?” Harkness asked, obviously quite interested.
“It’s a long story.” Elizabeth sighed and leaned back in her chair, as if signaling that the matter was closed for discussion.
“Okay, so you're from Earth. And from the future.” Sheppard paused, looking around, as if daring one of the others to disagree with him. “The question becomes, what do we do with you?”
“Going home might be a problem, at least at the moment. Time lines and all that. And from what I've read there are certain,” he cleared his throat, “people, and I use that term loosely, that I'm better off avoiding at your Stargate Command. Well, maybe not at the SGC itself, but if I was mentioned in reports then the wrong people might find out.” He paused, observing a look that passed between Weir and Sheppard. “I don't suppose, would it be possible not to send me back? Or, even let them know about me?” His eyes dropped to the floor, in an endearingly, if atypically shy, manner which, by the way Sheppard loudly cleared his throat, at least one person in the room did not believe in the slightest.
The events with Colonel Caldwell and the Trust were fresh in everyone's minds on Atlantis, and considering the NID and Trust's track record in dealing with people they thought might be useful, it was obvious who it was that the Captain was wishing to avoid, and why. Even Sheppard couldn't let that happen if it could be helped. “I suppose we could manage that,” Weir said, after catching Sheppard's nod of consent. “Welcome to Atlantis, Captain. I look forward to working with you.”
She stood to shake Harkness' hand. Soon, they were all enthusiastically welcoming him to Atlantis. He shocked Teyla by giving her the traditional Athosian greeting of touching foreheads without any prompting. Sheppard noticed it, and Harkness, aware of how keenly the Colonel was keeping an eye on him, merely shrugged in response. He excused himself from Teyla and walked over to the Colonel, trying to brush off the other man's concerns by commenting, “Any excuse to flirt, right?”
Sheppard didn't look like he believed Harkness in the slightest but took that opportunity to ask, “Do you plan on flirting with every person in Atlantis?”
“All the cute ones, yes.” Harkness waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
“And they're all cute, right?” Sheppard found himself beginning to smile.
“Of course, of course. Have a problem with that?”
“No, but I wanna be there when you hit on McKay!”
Rodney, having overheard his name mentioned, walked up. “Are you talking about me?” He couldn't help but notice the amused looks between them. “What? What'd I miss?” The Captain and Colonel burst out laughing. “Hey! What'd I say? What's so funny?”
Sheppard laughed at the memory. “Elizabeth had no idea what she was getting herself into when she said you could stay. What we were all getting ourselves into.” Then he sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “Teyla's sure taking her time with those berries. Do you think she left us alone on purpose?” Sheppard looked down at Jack's body for a moment. “A chance for goodbyes or something. Except I'm not really that good at goodbyes.” He looked at Harkness more carefully. “Wait a sec.”
There was something odd about the body. The ribs didn't jut out at that weird angle anymore. He pushed away from the wall to kneel down beside the other man. Hadn't there been a lot more blood, just a few moments ago? He leaned forward to peek under the bandage when all of a sudden the body, Jack, shuddered. There was a loud gasp and somehow, despite how utterly impossible it could be, the dead man was breathing again.
Jack's eyes flew open and he looked around. Seeing Sheppard kneeling there, staring at him, he sat up slowly. “Sorry. Sorry, I should have said.” His brow furrowed as he examined the other man's face. “You're not going to faint, are you?”
“No. Soldiers do not faint.” Sheppard scooted backwards, away from the somehow suddenly alive man and pointed at him, accusingly. “You're not dead.”
“No.” Harkness reached a hand out to steady John, who was swaying slightly. “I can't die.”
“But you did. You died. Right here.” He waved his hands at the floor of the cave.
“Fine, if you want to argue semantics with me it's not that I can't die, it's just that I don't stay dead.” Eying Sheppard carefully, Harkness pulled the medical supplies over. “Are you sure you're all right? Maybe you should have some water or something. Let me find a canteen.”
Sheppard forcibly grabbed the other man's arms. “Stop. Wait. You were dead.”
“Yes.”
“But now you're alive.”
“Yes.”
Sheppard slowly moved his right hand to Jack's chest and peeled away the bandages and cut shirt. There was no injury there. No sign of a wound at all. “I pulled that spear out of your chest.”
“Yes. Thanks for that by the way.”
“You're human?”
“Yep, and Doctor Beckett ran all the tests to prove it.”
“Not an Ancient or something...”
“Nope, as human as you are.”
“But you can't die.”
“Well, stay dead anyway.” Harkness smiled.
“Whatever!” Sheppard shook his head as his voice grew louder and shriller. “You're alive!” He was almost yelling.
“Umm, sorry?”
“You're alive,” Sheppard repeated, but much more quietly.
“Some people might consider that a good thing,” Jack said, lightly. “I should have told you, warned you, but it's not the sort of secret I can trust many people with.”
“Yeah, I can see how that could be a problem.” Sheppard sat back and leaned against the wall again, closing his eyes. “My head's killing me. This isn't some weird hallucination from the head injury, is it? Or have I slipped into a coma and now I'm dreaming all this?”
“Do you want it to be a dream?” Harkness asked, his tone serious, but there was a touch of sadness to it.
“No. God, no.”
“Good.” Sheppard could hear the smile in Jack's voice. “Because this is real.” Jack reached over, taking the other man's hand and squeezing it. “See? Real.” John opened one eye, still looking like he didn't quite believe what he was seeing when Teyla walked back in and dropped all the berries she collected on the floor in surprise.
“Captain? What...” Teyla, being Teyla, instantly pulled her weapon.
“Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated," Jack tried to joke. “It's okay, I'm not dead, but I'm not a weird alien thing either. You can put down the gun.” He raised his hands, and looked over at Sheppard. “John, tell her she can put down the gun!”
“Err, right. Teyla, we were wrong. He wasn't dead. There was some sort of, umm, poison on the spear. We just thought he was dead, but he's not dead, he's fine.” Sheppard winced slightly, the excuse sounded pathetic, even to him.
“But he has no sign of the wound. I saw where the spear tore his chest. It is completely healed now!”
Pushing himself up and off the wall, Sheppard staggered over to Teyla. “Teyla? Please.” He put his hand out, motioning for her to put down the gun. With great reluctance she holstered it. Turning back to Jack he said, “I believe you owe her an explanation, Captain. Come to think of it, you owe me one too. You never did say how you managed that not dying trick.”
Harkness gave a resigned sigh. “Can I at least wait till McKay and Ronon are back? It's a complicated story, I'd rather only have to go through it once.”
Sheppard nodded, but Teyla continued to stare at Jack.
“You are alive,” she whispered.
“Yes.”
“But you were dead.”
Jack put his head in his hands. “Here we go again...”
Part Two