my nana is dying.
i can see it in her face, from the pictures posted on facebook.
she's 66. like 90lbs.

my mother says i should call her. write her. something.
i can't

i don't know how to deal with death approaching.

Accepted the Assistant Director position at Fund for the Public Interest.
I'm really excited! I get to work with awesome people & learn how to run a campaign office.
It will be great experience, I just hope I can manage it for long enough (70plus hours a week).

I wrote this after an emotional breakdown friday. I'm really happy with it.

Afterward

Today was the original deadline for me to complete this thesis. I still have editing, and need to make some sort of substantial conclusion. I'm scared to finish the conclusion. Scared to turn in a complete and finished senior sociology thesis. Scared to stand ( Read more... )

i'm so glad he asked me to walk away from him.

i don't want to go to sleep and wake up to reality.

it's been a long week.
i fucking love being ignored by people i care about.
not.

----
probably shouldn't have eaten half a roll.

i miss james.

is the worst person alive.

i've had three different dreams about James since sunday night/monday morning. They have all been so vivid, real. And when I wake up I am so fucking depressed. I have no desire to get out of bed after these dreams and face reality. Maybe if I stop longing to be with him he will stay out of my dreams. But the dreams bring him back into my conscious ( Read more... )

mike perris came over friday. interesting time. except he's 30 & balding ( Read more... )

i kissed matt sosun in my dream last night. ohh my long lost lovers...

i just want to wake up next to a warm beautiful body.
being alone is a lot harder than i remember. but i know its good for me.