And Then They Came On Brendon's Face, The End | GSF | NC-17 | 6 900 words
And Then They Came On Brendon's Face, The End
Panic GSF | NC-17 (Holy dirty porn, batman!) | ~ 6 850 words | Warnings: This is v. v. dirty and also v. v. ridiculous, really.
He doesn't know how to tell them that he doesn't want to be one of the men, standing and jeering -- he wants to take the place of the girl, quietly kneeling, eyes closed and face upraised.
By sociofemme and disarm_d
We wrote most of this in the summer ( here), and now here it is not in comment-form. \o/
Ryan rolls over and says, very seriously, "I think we should have an orgy."
Jon laughs and stretches across to the other bed to pass him the joint they're sharing. "Well, we all just had sex, I don't know what more you want."
Brendon doesn't say anything, but his immediate first thought is -- what more he could want. He bites his lip, but he knows he wouldn't have been able to say anything anyway. How would he ask for -- he can't even put words to it in his mind, just images -- how would he ask for that?
"No, but what what makes an orgy different than what we've been doing? Are orgies somehow more organized?" Spencer asks. Ryan laughs and pokes him in the belly, then rolls over and rests his head against him.
"Why does everything have to be planned out? Can't we just say: 'Orgy! Go!'" Ryan says, a little petulantly, making a zooming hand gesture, and it sounds to Brendon like they're heading into a variation of the same argument they've had a million times.
"We could always go to porn for ideas," Jon says, and they all look at him. "What? At least they've thought about it. I bet it's pretty well organized."
"Do any of you guys actually have any orgy porn?" Spencer asks, and Jon shrugs.
"It's not like it's hard to find."
"Yeah, but I don't want to drag out my computer if I don't have to," Spencer complains, like he won't be online in twenty minutes checking his e-mail anyway.
"I--" Brendon can hear himself about to do something stupid and impulsive, and he can't stop himself. He can already feel a wave of hot color in his face. "I have some. On my laptop. I mean, it's--it's kind of an orgy, I guess."
Ryan sits up. "Well, come on, let's have it," he says, and steals Spencer's pillow.
While Spencer is stealing the pillow back and beating Ryan with it, and Jon tries to mediate but mostly just laughs at them, Brendon grabs his laptop.
He sort of wishes that he didn't have to open up his entire porn folder to get to the video, but whatever, they all watch porn. It's not like the guys are going to be able to tell too much from his carefully disguised video names. He opens up the video he's retitled Three Fat Dudes and A Blonde with Small Tits, and enlarges the window so that they all can see.
Brendon knows that this video isn't really what Spencer would be looking for when he wants to plan out what they should do. This is more of a gangbang than an orgy, and it's porn made for straight guys, so no one ever touches anyone other than the girl.
As they watch it, Brendon squirms. It's only seven minutes long, but six and a half of those minutes are minutes Brendon doesn't care about. He just wants to get to the end, to the part where the actors move off the bed, the girl gets down on her knees, the men stand over her and jerk themselves off.
Brendon holds his breath while the scene plays. It's going to be so obvious. Everyone is going to know why Brendon played this video; they're going to know what he wants. He just can't think of any other way to ask.
The video finishes and Brendon tries to exhale quietly. There's half a minute where no one says anything, an incredible stretch of time for Brendon to have to wait.
Then Jon laughs a little, although he doesn't sound very amused, and says, "Yeah, no. Let's keep looking."
"W-why do you say that?" Brendon asks, trying to sound casual.
Jon makes a face and says, "I think the idea was to coordinate it to make it more fun for everyone, and that video?"
Brendon raises his eyebrows, waiting for Jon to continue.
"I don't think we want to make plans for our orgies that involve one person who clearly hates what is happening. That girl did not look like she was having a good time," Jon says.
"Why do you think she didn't like it?" Brendon asks, trying to sound neutral, like it doesn't matter if Jon didn't like it.
"Well, it's just--" Jon runs his fingers through his hair and frowns. "She didn't look really happy, did she?"
Brendon bites his lip, because it's hard to argue with that. It's true, she didn't. He tries not to think about how he'd look, surrounded and on his knees. He doesn't think he would look scared or freaked out--he can't imagine Jon or Spencer or Ryan doing anything that would freak him out.
Before he can figure out what to say to that, the conversation moves on.
"Maybe we should draw some stick figures?" Spencer suggestions.
"Maybe we should find a gag for Spencer," Jon says.
Ryan snorts, and Brendon forces a smile, glad that the attention has been directed away from him.
--
The next number of nights are spent on the bus, and while it's possible to make do with the couches in the back lounge, there just isn't really the space they need.
Brendon lies in his bunk and tries to hear if anyone else is awake. It's well into the a.m. hours of the night, and Brendon wants to sleep, but really he just wants to jerk off. It's been days since he's had sex, and they don't have another hotel night for a few more days yet, and he wants to jerk off but still somehow he feel worried about getting caught. The guys have seen him jerk off before: that night when they all took turns, while everyone else stood there and watched. There's no reason why Brendon should hope everyone else is asleep, but he does.
He sleeps naked and his cock is hard; it's easy to slide his hand over the few inches it takes to reach his dick. The bus is quiet and Brendon's - hopefully - the only one awake. He wraps his hand around his dick and moves it in a loose slide.
He thinks about the video they watched the other day, thinks about what it would have been like if they hadn't said no. He thinks about being on his knees and having everyone's attention focused on him, about being the one to get all three of them off, about being sticky and used and marked as theirs, and he comes all over himself.
He cleans up quickly, thinking about how much worse it is now that he knows it will never happen. Now that he knows that they think it's gross, that they don't want something like that and that they never would. How creepy it is now: him in his bunk, imagining them doing something that he knows they don't want to do.
He rolls over and tries to stop thinking.
--
"What's up?" Jon asks, running his fingers through Brendon's hair as he passes by. Brendon's slumped over the table in the kitchen area of the bus, his cup of coffee sitting in front of him.
"Just tired," Brendon says, pulling his coffee in closer. He rubs his eyes and then takes a long sip.
"Two more shows and then hotel night," Ryan says, following Jon into the kitchen. He walks over to Brendon's other side and leans in to steal a sip of Brendon's coffee. Brendon doesn't make a fuss.
"What's that about hotels?" Spencer asks, entering the room. He reaches across the table, grabbing Brendon's coffee cup out of Ryan's hands. He takes a long sip, then passes it over to Jon. By the time Jon sets the cup back onto the table, it's empty.
"You guys!" Brendon says, pitifully. "The coffee."
Jon laughs, scratching the back of Brendon's neck lightly before he gets the coffee pot, filling Brendon's cup back up.
--
They've got two hotel rooms, and maybe they'll disperse later, spread out for more space while they're sleeping, but for right now they're all crowded together. Ryan and Jon are kissing on the bed, and when Brendon walks over, dumping his bag on the floor, they pull apart. Ryan reaches out for Brendon, and Brendon crawls onto the bed.
Jon stands, walking a couple of steps over to Spencer and leaning up for a kiss. Brendon watches them for a minute, but is quickly distracted when Ryan starts kissing his neck. He turns to Ryan, his own mouth opening softly as he starts leaning in for a kiss, but instead of coming to meet him, Ryan pulls back a little.
He says, "We can try your thing tonight," and Brendon blinks, not sure what Ryan is referring to.
He wrinkles his eyebrows together, and Ryan says, "From the video you showed us. If you really want to, I'll do that for you."
"Really?" Brendon asks, trying not to let the eagerness show in his voice. Ryan said that he would do it, which means that Jon and Spencer said they wouldn't, which means they talked about it and Jon and Spencer still think it's weird. Ryan probably thinks it's weird too, though he's willing to humor Brendon regardless.
Brendon should probably just thank him for offering and let him off the hook. If Jon and Spencer think it's gross, it'll just be embarrassing when they watch, and anyway, Ryan's just doing him a favor. Brendon should probably just leave this well enough alone, but instead he nods, rock hard at just the thought of actually getting this.
Jon and Spencer sit on the other bed to watch while Ryan and Brendon get naked together. They kiss for a while and then Ryan rolls over onto his back, pulling Brendon on top so that Brendon's straddling him.
Brendon tries to lean down for another kiss, but Ryan says, "You can go for it," and Brendon gets this little, oh, moment of disappointment, but whatever. He jerks off onto Ryan's chest, which, yeah sure, it's pretty hot.
He sits on top of Ryan, panting, and looking down at Ryan's skin. He wants to lick it off, after. He's going to, but before he can start to lean down, Ryan uses the edge of the sheet to wipe himself clean. Brendon bends to kiss Ryan instead, pressing his sweaty forehead against Ryan's.
Then, he pulls away, saying, "Your turn now," because that isn't telling, isn't giving anything away, it's just being fair. Brendon climbs off Ryan and rolls onto the floor, kneeling. Ryan peers at him from over the edge of the bed and Brendon says, "C'mon," pulling at Ryan's leg to encourage him to stand.
Ryan's kind of not quite all the way hard, so Brendon tilts his head up, wetting his lips and sucking on Ryan's dick. He doesn't use his hands and after he's gotten Ryan hard and leaking, he pulls off, sitting back on his heels and looking up at Ryan, just waiting and hoping that Ryan will take over from there.
Ryan doesn't seem to get it at first, just looking down at Brendon, kneeling back on his heels. Ryan glances over at Spencer and Jon, and Brendon bites his lip, hoping Ryan doesn't get self-conscious or something, because he wants this, it's so close to being what he wants. Ryan's started jerking off, lightly, like he can't keep his hands away from his hard cock, and Brendon can't stop watching the movement of his long fingers, curling and twisting.
Brendon can't decide if he wants to watch or to close his eyes and wait -- he tries both, watching Ryan eagerly for a long minute and then letting his eyes flutter closed.
"This is what you wanted," Ryan says softly. "Exactly like this." Brendon looks up at him, but he doesn't reply. It wasn't a question. Except --
"Not exactly," he mutters, and he darts a look at the other bed before he can stop himself.
Ryan's eyes widen and Brendon has to close his eyes hastily, because that and a soft indrawn breath are his only warning when the first hot streak of come stripes across his face.
He can't help but open his mouth, already licking at his lips.
He also can't help but hope that maybe -- no. Jon and Spencer weren't interested.
Brendon licks his lips again, then slowly opens his eyes. Ryan's cock is still in his hand, still right in front of his face, and Brendon leans forward, licking gently over the head to clean up the remaining come. He's careful when he licks, closing his lips over the head of Ryan's cock and mouthing gently. Brendon knows that Ryan will be sensitive so soon after coming, and he isn't trying to make him squirm.
Brendon lets Ryan's cock slide out of his mouth and sits back on his heels. He wipes at his cheeks with the back of his hand, then licks his hand clean. Pretty soon he's going to have to stand up and actually look someone in the eye, and, really, he'd just rather stay here and avoid that for as long as possible.
While he's licking his lips again, he can hear movement over on the other side of the room, the wet noises of Spencer and Jon kissing. He looks over his shoulder, but instead of seeing two bodies on the other bed, Jon and Spencer are standing, like maybe they'd been trying to get a closer look.
Brendon shuffles around slowly, still on the floor, and watches them kiss. He wants to crawl over. They could still kiss while he was sucking them off.
He sits back on his heels and waits for some kind of indication that that would be okay.
"Do you need me to tell you what to do?" Ryan asks quietly behind him. His hand lands on Brendon's shoulder and Brendon stops fidgeting, stops moving--stops breathing. He can't think--Ryan telling him to do what he wants, making him--it overwhelms him.
Brendon doesn't make a sound. He makes a tiny jerk of his head, and Ryan's fingers tighten briefly on his shoulder before he lets go. "Crawl over to them," Ryan says. "Help them get undressed."
Brendon goes, watching his hands move across the carpet until he sees Jon's funny bare toes right there.
He can't resist the impulse to bend down just a little more and kiss them. Jon makes a little choking sound, and Brendon risks a quick glance upwards.
It wasn't laughter. Jon is looking down at him with wide eyes, but there's no trace of laughter in his face.
Brendon reaches up to tug at Jon's jeans, and Ryan says sharply behind him, "Did I say you could use your hands?"
The wash of heat that floods through Brendon at that makes him shiver, and he quickly presses them down against the carpet to still their shaking.
The top button comes undone when Brendon tugs at the fabric with his teeth; the jeans are old and the buttonhole well worn. It's harder to get the zipper down though. Even once he had Jon's pants undone, he doesn't know how he's going to get Jon's cock out. The elastic of Jon's boxers is clinging to his waist, and Brendon doesn't know if he's going to be able to tug them far enough down using only his mouth.
He uses his cheek and chin to try and push the elastic down, the zipper of Jon's pants rubbing sharply on his neck. Once he's pushed them down to the point where they catch on Jon's erection, Brendon uses his teeth to hold the fabric, trying to stretch it over Jon's cock so that he can finish pulling them down. It takes several tries, but eventually Jon's dick springs free.
Brendon immediately moves to take him into his mouth. He wants the taste of something other than fabric after all that, and when Ryan pulls Jon back with a gentle hand wrapped around his stomach, encouraging Jon to step back until Brendon can't reach him any more, Brendon makes a disappointed sound, still chasing after him with his mouth.
"You've gotta undress Spencer first," Ryan says. Brendon looks up and he can see Ryan leaning his head over Jon's shoulder, his hand trailing lower down Jon's belly to circle the base of his cock.
Brendon's mouth is watering, but he crawls sideways until he's in front of Spencer instead. He remembers to leave his hands down this time, opening his mouth and trying to work Spencer's pants open. He's trying but he can't. Spencer's jeans are tight, way tighter than Jon's and he can't, can't, can't get the button open. He's drooling all over Spencer's pants even though he knows he should be tidier. Spencer's shirt has shifted up and Brendon's forehead presses into the bare skin of Spencer's lower belly.
He digs his fingers into his thighs, hands still down in front of him, and holds his breath as he buries his face in the fabric and tries again to coax the button open. When that doesn't work, he pulls back, tilting his head way back as he looks up at Spencer. His mouth is open as he takes quick breaths.
Spencer waits, and Brendon wonders if he should say something, if he should ask for it, but before he can come up with words, Spencer reaches down, curling his thumb under the waistband of his jeans and popping the button open. Brendon leans forward, kissing the back of Spencer's hand gratefully, licking the webbing between his thumb and first finger.
Spencer undoes his pants, but before pushing his boxers down, he moves his hand to Brendon's hair, guiding Brendon's head back. He waits until Brendon looks up at him before saying, "How about you keep your hands behind your back," his voice even and kind of quiet, like it's not too late for Brendon to say no if he wanted to.
Brendon nods quickly, even though with the grip Spencer has it means that his hair gets pulled in the movement. He puts his hands behind his back, lacing his fingers together.
"Good, that's good," says Ryan. He reaches out with the hand that's not jacking Jon lazily, and tangles his fingers with Spencer's in Brendon's hair. "How deep can you take him without your hands to help?" he asks, his voice low.
Brendon eagerly leans forward. He thinks he can go all the way down -- he wants to try, wants to swallow around Spencer's cock. But he can't quite do it, and tears spring to his eyes as he struggles. Spencer's hand gentles against him, but Ryan's fingers tighten. "Do you want to do it?" Ryan asks. "Do you want me to help you?"
Brendon pulls back a little -- enough to nod.
"Ryan--" starts Spencer, sounding a little uncertain, but he doesn't take his hand away, and when Ryan pushes Brendon's head down further than he'd managed before, the protest dies away in a strangled groan.
Brendon swallows, as well as he can manage, and feels his throat contract around Spencer's cock. When Ryan pulls him back, Brendon obeys, and sits back on his heels, triumphant and pleased with himself, ignoring his streaming eyes.
"Can you do it yourself now?" Ryan asks, and Brendon nods. He'd liked the feeling of Ryan helping him--making him--but he thinks he can do it again.
"Here," Ryan says. "Show Jon what you've learned."
Jon looks a little uneasy, though. "Brendon, are you sure--" he starts.
Ryan cuts him off before he can finish, and before Brendon can think of anything to say. "Look," Ryan says, and indicates Brendon's hard cock with his foot. "He wants it. Show Jon that you want it, Brendon."
Brendon shifts over to Jon, sucking his cock eagerly into his mouth and bobbing up and down, just over the first few inches, moving as quickly as he can. He pulls off to take a breath, and he can hear Ryan say, just quickly like he's only speaking for Jon, even though the rest of them can hear it too, "He wants it."
Brendon puts his lips around Jon's cock and this time he tries to go down further. It's harder than it was with Spencer; Jon isn't bigger, but his dick curves up and it's more difficult to get him at an angle where he doesn't get caught right at the back of Brendon's throat. Brendon tries to just push down past it, to take Jon in, but he ends up gagging hard and has to pull back. His eyes water, but he tries again, holding his breath and attempting to open his throat up for Jon. He gags again, but doesn't pull back.
Ryan's hand comes back to circle the base of Jon's cock and he angles it downwards. The next time Brendon pushes all the way down Jon's cock, the new angle makes it possible to let Jon in. Brendon holds there, his lips just brushing Ryan's hand, his throat open around Jon's dick. He waits until his breath runs out and he has to pull back, gasping loudly, spit clinging between Jon's cock and his mouth.
"Fuck. Brendon," Jon says, his hips shuddering forward in Ryan's grip.
Spencer takes a step closer, until he's right beside Jon, and Brendon leans over to him, opening up again.
Before he can get his mouth onto Spencer, Spencer stops him with a hand to his head.
Spencer says, "Ask," in that same quiet voice, not like he's being mean or anything, and Brendon's cock jerks, smearing precome.
"Please," Brendon says, turning his neck so that he can press his cheek to Spencer's wrist and it feels like Spencer is cupping the back of his head.
Spencer starts guiding him forward and Brendon says again, "Please," because he doesn't want Spencer to move his hand away.
"That's good," Spencer says, pulling Brendon close and then stopping, right as Brendon has his mouth open and Spencer's cock resting on his lower lip. "Stop a minute, let me watch you. I like seeing how much you want it."
Brendon wants so badly to move forward and suck Spencer's cock -- he can just taste it a little bit, and it's such a tease -- but god, Spencer knows what Brendon wants even more. Spencer looks over at Jon and Ryan, a little grin playing at the corners of his mouth, and Brendon tries to stay as still as he can, tries not to swipe forward with his tongue if it's not what he has permission to do.
He whines, just a little, and Spencer smiles down at him and pulls him forward. Spencer guides him, and it's perfect, especially when Spencer pulls just a little too hard and pushes just a little too much, and Brendon doesn't want to pull back when Spencer stops pushing him forward.
He does, though, and it earns him a choked-off groan. "That's good," Spencer says, though a little half-heartedly. "It's Jon's turn."
Brendon turns -- they're all standing so close together now, he doesn't have far to go -- and Jon smiles down at him. "I actually think it's Ryan's turn now," Jon says. "See how hot you are like this, Brendon? How fast you've gotten him hard again?"
Brendon has to lean his head against Ryan's leg for a moment before he can do anything -- it's exactly like he imagined. No, fuck, it's better, because Ryan lets him stop for a second, pets his hair, and smiles down at him. They're all smiling at him, and it's perfect.
"Can I?" Brendon asks, and Ryan nods, the smile in his eyes fading a little in favor of heat. He leans forward, letting Ryan guide him as Spencer had, and he tries so hard to be good for him--for them. To deserve them.
Ryan holds the back of his head with a gentle hand but he also starts rocking his hips forward. Brendon makes his jaw loose and tries to keep his lips sealed, to keep sucking, as Ryan thrusts slowly into his mouth, lazy strokes. Brendon keeps making these slurping noises, his mouth all sloppy and wet, but it feels good, Ryan's dick sliding over his tongue feels good, this is what he wanted, and if Ryan doesn't mind the mess neither does Brendon.
Brendon starts meeting Ryan's thrusts, leaning forward when Ryan pushes in, taking him even deeper. He chokes a few times, but not enough that he has to pull back. It would take--it would take a lot before Brendon would be willing to pull back, now that he's got Ryan's hand on his head, now that he's getting what he wanted.
Still, when Ryan moves away, Brendon just lets him pull away. There's another cock in his mouth soon after that anyway, Spencer's cock pushing inside and Spencer's hand on his hair. Spencer holds his head back and thrusts so smoothly that Brendon can just take him. Spencer thrusts in long strokes and each time the head of his cock passes over Brendon's tongue, Brendon can taste precome and his mouth waters even more.
Spencer slides all the way inside and holds Brendon down, hands firm and fingers twisted in his hair. Brendon's nose is smushed into Spencer's pubic hair and he can't breathe like this, not with Spencer filling up his throat. He holds like that for as long as he can, even with his eyes start to water, even when he starts to gag.
Spencer lets him go and Brendon pulls off coughing. He swallows some of the saliva in his mouth, his throat sore and his lips raw, already looking for Jon, trying to find his cock in the tangle of bodies.
Jon helps him, holding down his cock a little so Brendon can go deep if he wants to. Jon doesn't pull at his head like Ryan and Spencer had, doesn't guide him--he makes Brendon decide the depth and speed.
"Give me your hand," Ryan says suddenly. "No, don't stop, just--" he takes Brendon's flailing hand and slides his fingers between Brendon's. He uses both of their hands to start jerking off, standing there next to Jon as Brendon sucks frantically and a little erratically, as the new rhythm Ryan is helping him keep throws him off a little.
The problem gets worse for him when Spencer grabs his other hand and does the same as Ryan, giving Brendon a third tempo to keep track of.
He pulls off Jon with an obscene wet noise and slides over a little, licking at his and Ryan's intertwined fingers, spitting a little to help them glide more smoothly over Ryan's hard cock, and then he pulls back and moves to Spencer.
"Sit back a minute," Spencer says, quietly but firmly. "Tell us what you want us to do."
Brendon's face floods with color. Even now, as clear as it seems and as much as he's shown them he wants it, Spencer is going to make him say it, and he doesn't know if he can do it.
"I--" he starts, his voice raspy and hoarse. His eyes flick up, to see them watching him, Jon's fingers tight against his cock and Ryan and Spencer still using his hands to jerk themselves. "Please, I want you to--"
Brendon feels hot all the way down his neck and across his chest. His voice cracks and he licks his lips and swallows. His lips are buzzing in this weird way where they're kind of raw and also kind of numb. Everyone is still just standing there, looking down at him, and he knows they're waiting, that they can wait, and somehow all that does it make Brendon feel even more desperate. They're not even jerking off anymore, just standing there and watching him.
"I want you to--" he says again, looking down at the floor. "To-- On me," he says.
They still just stand there for a long moment, and Brendon's worried that they're going to make him say more, or, worse, that they won't. It's been leading here, it has. They can't just-- stop.
Brendon looks up, tightening both his hands on Ryan and Spencer's cock, and rasping out, "Please," because they can't stop now, not when Brendon's so close to getting what he wants, what he has wanted.
Spencer's hand starts moving again, and then Ryan's and Jon's. Ryan reaches out with his free hand and cups Brendon's cheek, just quickly, and Brendon leans into it before Ryan pulls away.
Ryan says, "You look good like this," and then Spencer says, "Open your mouth." Spencer touches Brendon's lower lip with two fingers, rubbing them into his mouth and stroking his tongue until Brendon opens wider and slides his tongue out past his lips.
"Just like that," Spencer says, moving his hand away.
Brendon can't even think what he looks like, kneeling there before them. He tries to watch them watching him--they are, intently--but he can't, and he closes his eyes, trying to stay still and quiet, just as Spencer put him, lips parted and tongue slightly out. Waiting.
He can tell from Spencer's breathing, though, that he doesn't have long to wait, and he speeds up their hands on his cock, encouraging Spencer as best he can. "God, Brendon," Spencer chokes out, and Brendon can feel him shaking under Brendon's fingers before he feels the hot streaks against his cheek, chin, mouth. He resists the urge to lick his lips right away and opens his mouth wider, instead.
It earns him another, wordless groan from Spencer, and a gasp--from Jon? Brendon isn't sure. He feels surrounded, overwhelmed with sensation and he's so hard he's having trouble focusing on anything but how shockingly exciting everything feels--every movement, every breath reminds him where he is, what he's doing. What they're doing to him.
Spencer pulls their hands away from his cock with a hiss, and moves his fingers to Brendon's mouth, sliding his thumb across Brendon's lower lip. Brendon sucks it in, carefully licking. Spencer lets him suck on his fingers until they're as clean as Brendon can get them, and then pulls away.
Brendon's eyes flutter open in protest, and he's glad to be able to see, now, because Spencer is leaning over to kiss Jon while he slides his spit-slick hand down his belly to grip at the base of his cock.
Brendon leans forward, and Jon slides his hand into Brendon's hair for the first time. Brendon goes eagerly, and tastes Spencer's fingers as Jon pulls him forward.
Brendon sucks on Jon, licking out even when Jon's cock is in his mouth to try and lap at Spencer's fingers. Jon is close and Brendon can taste him; he wants more.
Spencer's hand starts to move so Brendon pulls back until he has just the tip of Jon's dick in his mouth. He circles his tongue around the head while Spencer jerks off the rest. Jon's hand tightens in his hair, pulling Brendon closer before he remembers and pushes Brendon back.
Brendon watches Spencer's hands move over Jon's dick. He twists his hand when he gets to the head, rubbing with his thumb before he pulls back, Jon's cock sliding through the tight circle of his fist. Brendon licks his lips, but this is good too, watching in the moments between Jon's raw moan and when his cock starts to jerk.
Brendon closes his eyes after the first streak hits him hit up on his cheek. He opens his mouth, sliding his tongue out again, just like Spencer had him do before. Spencer's hand comes out, cupping the other side of his head while Jon's fingers twist in his hair. Spencer says, "Yeah, just like that," and Brendon opens his mouth even wider.
Jon comes over his face and again Brendon holds still, trying to balance what lands on his tongue so that it doesn't just drip down his chin, trying to hold it there so that they can see.
Jon swears quietly and Spencer lets go of his cock. Brendon opens his eyes, carefully, then staring straight up at Jon, he closes he mouth and swallows. He licks his lips, then swallows again.
"Jesus," Jon whispers, swaying unsteadily on his feet. He turns to kiss Spencer, then in the other direction to kiss Ryan. Ryan is still holding his cock, rubbing slowly.
Brendon turns to Ryan, looking up at him and leaning in slowly. He waits until Ryan looks down, until Ryan nods before leaning in the rest of the way and licking over the head of his dick.
"You look like you belong in the porn you showed us," Ryan says, a little breathless, as Brendon sucks. He swipes a couple of his fingers across Brendon's cheek and rubs them together, showing Brendon how much had missed his mouth. Brendon leans back and sucks them, too, looking up at Ryan as he tastes come and sweat and Ryan.
Then he leans forward and licks again at Ryan's cock, sliding his mouth wetly along the side and mouthing at the base. Ryan's cock is too big for him to go all the way down, he thinks, and he doesn't want to accidentally miss and make him come in his mouth instead of on his face, so he's careful to stay back a little, and lick lightly, teasingly along the length, sucking only on the head.
He's anxious now, a little, afraid of ending it too soon--he doesn't know if he'll get them to do this again, and he wants to stretch it out as much as he can in case they didn't like it very much and this is all he gets.
Ryan is swearing under his breath, though, like he does when he's close and trying to hold back, and Jon and Spencer are still standing there, leaning against Ryan and watching. Jon leans over and kisses Ryan, muffling the swearing, and Spencer says something quietly in Ryan's ear that Brendon can't quite hear.
Ryan jerks and makes a hard grab at the base of his cock, and Spencer laughs low, under his breath, then reaches down and firmly pushes Brendon back. "Now," he says firmly, so that Brendon can hear this time, and Brendon barely closes his eyes in time.
Ryan's come drips down the corner of his mouth, and Brendon licks his lips, except-- It might not be Ryan's he's tasting. Brendon's face is sticky, come sliding down his cheeks and his neck. He licks his lips and he doesn't know who he's tasting. His hands have been resting on his thighs and he wants to slide one over to his cock, which is throbbing and twitching, sliding wetly against his belly.
He rubs his hand against his thigh, moving it a little higher, and looking up. He waits until Ryan says, "Show us," until Spencer says, "Yeah," until Jon nods eagerly, before curling his fingers around his dick.
He keeps looking up as he moves his hand, jerking off while they watch. He spreads his knees wider, his thighs aching from this long spent on the floor. His hand slides wetly down his cock. He's leaking everywhere and he's never been this hard before, never been this close to orgasm from so little stimulation.
He looks up and when Spencer says, "C'mon," and Ryan says in a low voice, "Brendon," and Jon echoes them, Brendon comes. He hunches in on himself, shuddering through wave after wave. He meant to keep looking at them, but he can't. They're looking at him though, all three of them staring down, and Brendon doesn't think he's ever going to stop coming.
Brendon doesn't know how much time passes, but when he finally forces his eyes open, there's a hand running through his hair, and another hand circling his wrist, pulling him up, helping him to his feet.
He has trouble standing at first, and Spencer slides an arm around his waist to help him walk the few steps to the nearest bed. Ryan and Jon are close, too, their hands resting on his back. Jon breaks away for a few moments while Spencer and Ryan are getting Brendon arranged between them, and Brendon only notices that he's been gone when he returns, wet washcloth in hand.
"I don't know if you wanted to clean up or not," he says, offering the cloth.
Brendon hesitates, but only for a second. "Yeah, I should," he says, hoarsely. He reaches out for it, but Spencer intervenes before he can grab it.
"No, hey, let us take care of you," he says, and takes the washcloth from Jon. Brendon flicks his eyebrows in wordless amusement. He feels pretty well taken care of.
He's happy to sit back and soak in the reassurance of them curling up around him, though. He's a little afraid that maybe they got swept up in the moment and regret doing it, or didn't like it very much.
He doesn't want to ask, though, and risk making things awkward. He tips his head back and lets Spencer carefully wipe off his face.
"Are you doing okay?" Jon asks, curling up between Brendon and Ryan, ignoring Ryan's protest at being nudged over.
"Yeah," says Brendon. "That was - that was really - " he stops for a second, biting his lip. "Good," he finishes. "It was good."
"Was that how you wanted it?" Ryan asks.
Brendon opens his mouth, but before he can say yes, Spencer starts saying, "You have to tell us these things! If you tell us what you want, we can do them. You just have to tell us how you want it to go, or how you want us to make you feel, or whatever."
"I felt weird asking for that," Brendon says.
"Don't feel weird," Jon says, and Ryan says, "That was hot," while Spencer nods vigorously.
Spencer gives another wipe across Brendon's face, just playfully swiping at his nose, then throws the cloth onto the bedside table. "You were hot," Spencer says, leaning in for a kiss.
Brendon tries to keep his mouth closed, but Spencer coaxes his lips open with his tongue. Brendon knows that he must still taste like come, but if Spencer doesn't mind, Brendon certainly isn't going to stop him.
Jon leans in after that, lunging forward when Spencer gives the first indication of pulling back. There's a bit of a shuffle after that-- Jon huffs, then groans, "Ryan, my ribs." "Sorry, now move over."-- while Ryan pushes his way over to Brendon to grab a kiss of his own.
Everyone starts settling down again, warm bodies on both sides of Brendon. He looks up at the ceiling and asks no one in particular, "Was that-- I mean, how was it for you? Did you think--?"
Nobody answers at first, and Brendon bites his lip. Then Ryan snorts. "You're kidding, right?" He leans back up on an elbow, looking at Brendon seriously. "That was fucking amazing," he says. "You want to do it again? I'm totally into that. I bet Jon and Spencer are too, because--" he leans down and lowers his voice. His breath ruffles Brendon's hair, he's so close. "You look so fucking hot on your knees for us, Brendon."
Brendon has to close his eyes. He feels a wave of relief - they didn't hate it, they don't think he's some kind of deviant - and then Ryan's words sink in a little more. "Again?" he asks.
Spencer laughs. "I don't think we can go again, like, now," he says, and Jon snorts.
"I mean-" Brendon can feel himself blushing, "You wouldn't mind doing it again sometime?"
"Um, yeah," Jon says. Brendon can feel Spencer nodding. "But can we talk about it later? I'm so tired."
Once Jon has mentioned it, Brendon can't stop thinking about how tired he is, and the comforting warmth of their bodies surrounding him. He makes a happy, sleepy noise and flings his arms and legs possessively around the nearest bandmate. From the resigned little noise his victim makes, he thinks it's Ryan.
"Yeah, totally. Later. 'Night," Brendon says, already feeling half-asleep. Jon and Spencer echo him. Ryan just mutters a little, and Brendon tightens his grip as he drops off to sleep.
Panic GSF | NC-17 (Holy dirty porn, batman!) | ~ 6 850 words | Warnings: This is v. v. dirty and also v. v. ridiculous, really.
He doesn't know how to tell them that he doesn't want to be one of the men, standing and jeering -- he wants to take the place of the girl, quietly kneeling, eyes closed and face upraised.
By sociofemme and disarm_d
We wrote most of this in the summer ( here), and now here it is not in comment-form. \o/
Ryan rolls over and says, very seriously, "I think we should have an orgy."
Jon laughs and stretches across to the other bed to pass him the joint they're sharing. "Well, we all just had sex, I don't know what more you want."
Brendon doesn't say anything, but his immediate first thought is -- what more he could want. He bites his lip, but he knows he wouldn't have been able to say anything anyway. How would he ask for -- he can't even put words to it in his mind, just images -- how would he ask for that?
"No, but what what makes an orgy different than what we've been doing? Are orgies somehow more organized?" Spencer asks. Ryan laughs and pokes him in the belly, then rolls over and rests his head against him.
"Why does everything have to be planned out? Can't we just say: 'Orgy! Go!'" Ryan says, a little petulantly, making a zooming hand gesture, and it sounds to Brendon like they're heading into a variation of the same argument they've had a million times.
"We could always go to porn for ideas," Jon says, and they all look at him. "What? At least they've thought about it. I bet it's pretty well organized."
"Do any of you guys actually have any orgy porn?" Spencer asks, and Jon shrugs.
"It's not like it's hard to find."
"Yeah, but I don't want to drag out my computer if I don't have to," Spencer complains, like he won't be online in twenty minutes checking his e-mail anyway.
"I--" Brendon can hear himself about to do something stupid and impulsive, and he can't stop himself. He can already feel a wave of hot color in his face. "I have some. On my laptop. I mean, it's--it's kind of an orgy, I guess."
Ryan sits up. "Well, come on, let's have it," he says, and steals Spencer's pillow.
While Spencer is stealing the pillow back and beating Ryan with it, and Jon tries to mediate but mostly just laughs at them, Brendon grabs his laptop.
He sort of wishes that he didn't have to open up his entire porn folder to get to the video, but whatever, they all watch porn. It's not like the guys are going to be able to tell too much from his carefully disguised video names. He opens up the video he's retitled Three Fat Dudes and A Blonde with Small Tits, and enlarges the window so that they all can see.
Brendon knows that this video isn't really what Spencer would be looking for when he wants to plan out what they should do. This is more of a gangbang than an orgy, and it's porn made for straight guys, so no one ever touches anyone other than the girl.
As they watch it, Brendon squirms. It's only seven minutes long, but six and a half of those minutes are minutes Brendon doesn't care about. He just wants to get to the end, to the part where the actors move off the bed, the girl gets down on her knees, the men stand over her and jerk themselves off.
Brendon holds his breath while the scene plays. It's going to be so obvious. Everyone is going to know why Brendon played this video; they're going to know what he wants. He just can't think of any other way to ask.
The video finishes and Brendon tries to exhale quietly. There's half a minute where no one says anything, an incredible stretch of time for Brendon to have to wait.
Then Jon laughs a little, although he doesn't sound very amused, and says, "Yeah, no. Let's keep looking."
"W-why do you say that?" Brendon asks, trying to sound casual.
Jon makes a face and says, "I think the idea was to coordinate it to make it more fun for everyone, and that video?"
Brendon raises his eyebrows, waiting for Jon to continue.
"I don't think we want to make plans for our orgies that involve one person who clearly hates what is happening. That girl did not look like she was having a good time," Jon says.
"Why do you think she didn't like it?" Brendon asks, trying to sound neutral, like it doesn't matter if Jon didn't like it.
"Well, it's just--" Jon runs his fingers through his hair and frowns. "She didn't look really happy, did she?"
Brendon bites his lip, because it's hard to argue with that. It's true, she didn't. He tries not to think about how he'd look, surrounded and on his knees. He doesn't think he would look scared or freaked out--he can't imagine Jon or Spencer or Ryan doing anything that would freak him out.
Before he can figure out what to say to that, the conversation moves on.
"Maybe we should draw some stick figures?" Spencer suggestions.
"Maybe we should find a gag for Spencer," Jon says.
Ryan snorts, and Brendon forces a smile, glad that the attention has been directed away from him.
--
The next number of nights are spent on the bus, and while it's possible to make do with the couches in the back lounge, there just isn't really the space they need.
Brendon lies in his bunk and tries to hear if anyone else is awake. It's well into the a.m. hours of the night, and Brendon wants to sleep, but really he just wants to jerk off. It's been days since he's had sex, and they don't have another hotel night for a few more days yet, and he wants to jerk off but still somehow he feel worried about getting caught. The guys have seen him jerk off before: that night when they all took turns, while everyone else stood there and watched. There's no reason why Brendon should hope everyone else is asleep, but he does.
He sleeps naked and his cock is hard; it's easy to slide his hand over the few inches it takes to reach his dick. The bus is quiet and Brendon's - hopefully - the only one awake. He wraps his hand around his dick and moves it in a loose slide.
He thinks about the video they watched the other day, thinks about what it would have been like if they hadn't said no. He thinks about being on his knees and having everyone's attention focused on him, about being the one to get all three of them off, about being sticky and used and marked as theirs, and he comes all over himself.
He cleans up quickly, thinking about how much worse it is now that he knows it will never happen. Now that he knows that they think it's gross, that they don't want something like that and that they never would. How creepy it is now: him in his bunk, imagining them doing something that he knows they don't want to do.
He rolls over and tries to stop thinking.
--
"What's up?" Jon asks, running his fingers through Brendon's hair as he passes by. Brendon's slumped over the table in the kitchen area of the bus, his cup of coffee sitting in front of him.
"Just tired," Brendon says, pulling his coffee in closer. He rubs his eyes and then takes a long sip.
"Two more shows and then hotel night," Ryan says, following Jon into the kitchen. He walks over to Brendon's other side and leans in to steal a sip of Brendon's coffee. Brendon doesn't make a fuss.
"What's that about hotels?" Spencer asks, entering the room. He reaches across the table, grabbing Brendon's coffee cup out of Ryan's hands. He takes a long sip, then passes it over to Jon. By the time Jon sets the cup back onto the table, it's empty.
"You guys!" Brendon says, pitifully. "The coffee."
Jon laughs, scratching the back of Brendon's neck lightly before he gets the coffee pot, filling Brendon's cup back up.
--
They've got two hotel rooms, and maybe they'll disperse later, spread out for more space while they're sleeping, but for right now they're all crowded together. Ryan and Jon are kissing on the bed, and when Brendon walks over, dumping his bag on the floor, they pull apart. Ryan reaches out for Brendon, and Brendon crawls onto the bed.
Jon stands, walking a couple of steps over to Spencer and leaning up for a kiss. Brendon watches them for a minute, but is quickly distracted when Ryan starts kissing his neck. He turns to Ryan, his own mouth opening softly as he starts leaning in for a kiss, but instead of coming to meet him, Ryan pulls back a little.
He says, "We can try your thing tonight," and Brendon blinks, not sure what Ryan is referring to.
He wrinkles his eyebrows together, and Ryan says, "From the video you showed us. If you really want to, I'll do that for you."
"Really?" Brendon asks, trying not to let the eagerness show in his voice. Ryan said that he would do it, which means that Jon and Spencer said they wouldn't, which means they talked about it and Jon and Spencer still think it's weird. Ryan probably thinks it's weird too, though he's willing to humor Brendon regardless.
Brendon should probably just thank him for offering and let him off the hook. If Jon and Spencer think it's gross, it'll just be embarrassing when they watch, and anyway, Ryan's just doing him a favor. Brendon should probably just leave this well enough alone, but instead he nods, rock hard at just the thought of actually getting this.
Jon and Spencer sit on the other bed to watch while Ryan and Brendon get naked together. They kiss for a while and then Ryan rolls over onto his back, pulling Brendon on top so that Brendon's straddling him.
Brendon tries to lean down for another kiss, but Ryan says, "You can go for it," and Brendon gets this little, oh, moment of disappointment, but whatever. He jerks off onto Ryan's chest, which, yeah sure, it's pretty hot.
He sits on top of Ryan, panting, and looking down at Ryan's skin. He wants to lick it off, after. He's going to, but before he can start to lean down, Ryan uses the edge of the sheet to wipe himself clean. Brendon bends to kiss Ryan instead, pressing his sweaty forehead against Ryan's.
Then, he pulls away, saying, "Your turn now," because that isn't telling, isn't giving anything away, it's just being fair. Brendon climbs off Ryan and rolls onto the floor, kneeling. Ryan peers at him from over the edge of the bed and Brendon says, "C'mon," pulling at Ryan's leg to encourage him to stand.
Ryan's kind of not quite all the way hard, so Brendon tilts his head up, wetting his lips and sucking on Ryan's dick. He doesn't use his hands and after he's gotten Ryan hard and leaking, he pulls off, sitting back on his heels and looking up at Ryan, just waiting and hoping that Ryan will take over from there.
Ryan doesn't seem to get it at first, just looking down at Brendon, kneeling back on his heels. Ryan glances over at Spencer and Jon, and Brendon bites his lip, hoping Ryan doesn't get self-conscious or something, because he wants this, it's so close to being what he wants. Ryan's started jerking off, lightly, like he can't keep his hands away from his hard cock, and Brendon can't stop watching the movement of his long fingers, curling and twisting.
Brendon can't decide if he wants to watch or to close his eyes and wait -- he tries both, watching Ryan eagerly for a long minute and then letting his eyes flutter closed.
"This is what you wanted," Ryan says softly. "Exactly like this." Brendon looks up at him, but he doesn't reply. It wasn't a question. Except --
"Not exactly," he mutters, and he darts a look at the other bed before he can stop himself.
Ryan's eyes widen and Brendon has to close his eyes hastily, because that and a soft indrawn breath are his only warning when the first hot streak of come stripes across his face.
He can't help but open his mouth, already licking at his lips.
He also can't help but hope that maybe -- no. Jon and Spencer weren't interested.
Brendon licks his lips again, then slowly opens his eyes. Ryan's cock is still in his hand, still right in front of his face, and Brendon leans forward, licking gently over the head to clean up the remaining come. He's careful when he licks, closing his lips over the head of Ryan's cock and mouthing gently. Brendon knows that Ryan will be sensitive so soon after coming, and he isn't trying to make him squirm.
Brendon lets Ryan's cock slide out of his mouth and sits back on his heels. He wipes at his cheeks with the back of his hand, then licks his hand clean. Pretty soon he's going to have to stand up and actually look someone in the eye, and, really, he'd just rather stay here and avoid that for as long as possible.
While he's licking his lips again, he can hear movement over on the other side of the room, the wet noises of Spencer and Jon kissing. He looks over his shoulder, but instead of seeing two bodies on the other bed, Jon and Spencer are standing, like maybe they'd been trying to get a closer look.
Brendon shuffles around slowly, still on the floor, and watches them kiss. He wants to crawl over. They could still kiss while he was sucking them off.
He sits back on his heels and waits for some kind of indication that that would be okay.
"Do you need me to tell you what to do?" Ryan asks quietly behind him. His hand lands on Brendon's shoulder and Brendon stops fidgeting, stops moving--stops breathing. He can't think--Ryan telling him to do what he wants, making him--it overwhelms him.
Brendon doesn't make a sound. He makes a tiny jerk of his head, and Ryan's fingers tighten briefly on his shoulder before he lets go. "Crawl over to them," Ryan says. "Help them get undressed."
Brendon goes, watching his hands move across the carpet until he sees Jon's funny bare toes right there.
He can't resist the impulse to bend down just a little more and kiss them. Jon makes a little choking sound, and Brendon risks a quick glance upwards.
It wasn't laughter. Jon is looking down at him with wide eyes, but there's no trace of laughter in his face.
Brendon reaches up to tug at Jon's jeans, and Ryan says sharply behind him, "Did I say you could use your hands?"
The wash of heat that floods through Brendon at that makes him shiver, and he quickly presses them down against the carpet to still their shaking.
The top button comes undone when Brendon tugs at the fabric with his teeth; the jeans are old and the buttonhole well worn. It's harder to get the zipper down though. Even once he had Jon's pants undone, he doesn't know how he's going to get Jon's cock out. The elastic of Jon's boxers is clinging to his waist, and Brendon doesn't know if he's going to be able to tug them far enough down using only his mouth.
He uses his cheek and chin to try and push the elastic down, the zipper of Jon's pants rubbing sharply on his neck. Once he's pushed them down to the point where they catch on Jon's erection, Brendon uses his teeth to hold the fabric, trying to stretch it over Jon's cock so that he can finish pulling them down. It takes several tries, but eventually Jon's dick springs free.
Brendon immediately moves to take him into his mouth. He wants the taste of something other than fabric after all that, and when Ryan pulls Jon back with a gentle hand wrapped around his stomach, encouraging Jon to step back until Brendon can't reach him any more, Brendon makes a disappointed sound, still chasing after him with his mouth.
"You've gotta undress Spencer first," Ryan says. Brendon looks up and he can see Ryan leaning his head over Jon's shoulder, his hand trailing lower down Jon's belly to circle the base of his cock.
Brendon's mouth is watering, but he crawls sideways until he's in front of Spencer instead. He remembers to leave his hands down this time, opening his mouth and trying to work Spencer's pants open. He's trying but he can't. Spencer's jeans are tight, way tighter than Jon's and he can't, can't, can't get the button open. He's drooling all over Spencer's pants even though he knows he should be tidier. Spencer's shirt has shifted up and Brendon's forehead presses into the bare skin of Spencer's lower belly.
He digs his fingers into his thighs, hands still down in front of him, and holds his breath as he buries his face in the fabric and tries again to coax the button open. When that doesn't work, he pulls back, tilting his head way back as he looks up at Spencer. His mouth is open as he takes quick breaths.
Spencer waits, and Brendon wonders if he should say something, if he should ask for it, but before he can come up with words, Spencer reaches down, curling his thumb under the waistband of his jeans and popping the button open. Brendon leans forward, kissing the back of Spencer's hand gratefully, licking the webbing between his thumb and first finger.
Spencer undoes his pants, but before pushing his boxers down, he moves his hand to Brendon's hair, guiding Brendon's head back. He waits until Brendon looks up at him before saying, "How about you keep your hands behind your back," his voice even and kind of quiet, like it's not too late for Brendon to say no if he wanted to.
Brendon nods quickly, even though with the grip Spencer has it means that his hair gets pulled in the movement. He puts his hands behind his back, lacing his fingers together.
"Good, that's good," says Ryan. He reaches out with the hand that's not jacking Jon lazily, and tangles his fingers with Spencer's in Brendon's hair. "How deep can you take him without your hands to help?" he asks, his voice low.
Brendon eagerly leans forward. He thinks he can go all the way down -- he wants to try, wants to swallow around Spencer's cock. But he can't quite do it, and tears spring to his eyes as he struggles. Spencer's hand gentles against him, but Ryan's fingers tighten. "Do you want to do it?" Ryan asks. "Do you want me to help you?"
Brendon pulls back a little -- enough to nod.
"Ryan--" starts Spencer, sounding a little uncertain, but he doesn't take his hand away, and when Ryan pushes Brendon's head down further than he'd managed before, the protest dies away in a strangled groan.
Brendon swallows, as well as he can manage, and feels his throat contract around Spencer's cock. When Ryan pulls him back, Brendon obeys, and sits back on his heels, triumphant and pleased with himself, ignoring his streaming eyes.
"Can you do it yourself now?" Ryan asks, and Brendon nods. He'd liked the feeling of Ryan helping him--making him--but he thinks he can do it again.
"Here," Ryan says. "Show Jon what you've learned."
Jon looks a little uneasy, though. "Brendon, are you sure--" he starts.
Ryan cuts him off before he can finish, and before Brendon can think of anything to say. "Look," Ryan says, and indicates Brendon's hard cock with his foot. "He wants it. Show Jon that you want it, Brendon."
Brendon shifts over to Jon, sucking his cock eagerly into his mouth and bobbing up and down, just over the first few inches, moving as quickly as he can. He pulls off to take a breath, and he can hear Ryan say, just quickly like he's only speaking for Jon, even though the rest of them can hear it too, "He wants it."
Brendon puts his lips around Jon's cock and this time he tries to go down further. It's harder than it was with Spencer; Jon isn't bigger, but his dick curves up and it's more difficult to get him at an angle where he doesn't get caught right at the back of Brendon's throat. Brendon tries to just push down past it, to take Jon in, but he ends up gagging hard and has to pull back. His eyes water, but he tries again, holding his breath and attempting to open his throat up for Jon. He gags again, but doesn't pull back.
Ryan's hand comes back to circle the base of Jon's cock and he angles it downwards. The next time Brendon pushes all the way down Jon's cock, the new angle makes it possible to let Jon in. Brendon holds there, his lips just brushing Ryan's hand, his throat open around Jon's dick. He waits until his breath runs out and he has to pull back, gasping loudly, spit clinging between Jon's cock and his mouth.
"Fuck. Brendon," Jon says, his hips shuddering forward in Ryan's grip.
Spencer takes a step closer, until he's right beside Jon, and Brendon leans over to him, opening up again.
Before he can get his mouth onto Spencer, Spencer stops him with a hand to his head.
Spencer says, "Ask," in that same quiet voice, not like he's being mean or anything, and Brendon's cock jerks, smearing precome.
"Please," Brendon says, turning his neck so that he can press his cheek to Spencer's wrist and it feels like Spencer is cupping the back of his head.
Spencer starts guiding him forward and Brendon says again, "Please," because he doesn't want Spencer to move his hand away.
"That's good," Spencer says, pulling Brendon close and then stopping, right as Brendon has his mouth open and Spencer's cock resting on his lower lip. "Stop a minute, let me watch you. I like seeing how much you want it."
Brendon wants so badly to move forward and suck Spencer's cock -- he can just taste it a little bit, and it's such a tease -- but god, Spencer knows what Brendon wants even more. Spencer looks over at Jon and Ryan, a little grin playing at the corners of his mouth, and Brendon tries to stay as still as he can, tries not to swipe forward with his tongue if it's not what he has permission to do.
He whines, just a little, and Spencer smiles down at him and pulls him forward. Spencer guides him, and it's perfect, especially when Spencer pulls just a little too hard and pushes just a little too much, and Brendon doesn't want to pull back when Spencer stops pushing him forward.
He does, though, and it earns him a choked-off groan. "That's good," Spencer says, though a little half-heartedly. "It's Jon's turn."
Brendon turns -- they're all standing so close together now, he doesn't have far to go -- and Jon smiles down at him. "I actually think it's Ryan's turn now," Jon says. "See how hot you are like this, Brendon? How fast you've gotten him hard again?"
Brendon has to lean his head against Ryan's leg for a moment before he can do anything -- it's exactly like he imagined. No, fuck, it's better, because Ryan lets him stop for a second, pets his hair, and smiles down at him. They're all smiling at him, and it's perfect.
"Can I?" Brendon asks, and Ryan nods, the smile in his eyes fading a little in favor of heat. He leans forward, letting Ryan guide him as Spencer had, and he tries so hard to be good for him--for them. To deserve them.
Ryan holds the back of his head with a gentle hand but he also starts rocking his hips forward. Brendon makes his jaw loose and tries to keep his lips sealed, to keep sucking, as Ryan thrusts slowly into his mouth, lazy strokes. Brendon keeps making these slurping noises, his mouth all sloppy and wet, but it feels good, Ryan's dick sliding over his tongue feels good, this is what he wanted, and if Ryan doesn't mind the mess neither does Brendon.
Brendon starts meeting Ryan's thrusts, leaning forward when Ryan pushes in, taking him even deeper. He chokes a few times, but not enough that he has to pull back. It would take--it would take a lot before Brendon would be willing to pull back, now that he's got Ryan's hand on his head, now that he's getting what he wanted.
Still, when Ryan moves away, Brendon just lets him pull away. There's another cock in his mouth soon after that anyway, Spencer's cock pushing inside and Spencer's hand on his hair. Spencer holds his head back and thrusts so smoothly that Brendon can just take him. Spencer thrusts in long strokes and each time the head of his cock passes over Brendon's tongue, Brendon can taste precome and his mouth waters even more.
Spencer slides all the way inside and holds Brendon down, hands firm and fingers twisted in his hair. Brendon's nose is smushed into Spencer's pubic hair and he can't breathe like this, not with Spencer filling up his throat. He holds like that for as long as he can, even with his eyes start to water, even when he starts to gag.
Spencer lets him go and Brendon pulls off coughing. He swallows some of the saliva in his mouth, his throat sore and his lips raw, already looking for Jon, trying to find his cock in the tangle of bodies.
Jon helps him, holding down his cock a little so Brendon can go deep if he wants to. Jon doesn't pull at his head like Ryan and Spencer had, doesn't guide him--he makes Brendon decide the depth and speed.
"Give me your hand," Ryan says suddenly. "No, don't stop, just--" he takes Brendon's flailing hand and slides his fingers between Brendon's. He uses both of their hands to start jerking off, standing there next to Jon as Brendon sucks frantically and a little erratically, as the new rhythm Ryan is helping him keep throws him off a little.
The problem gets worse for him when Spencer grabs his other hand and does the same as Ryan, giving Brendon a third tempo to keep track of.
He pulls off Jon with an obscene wet noise and slides over a little, licking at his and Ryan's intertwined fingers, spitting a little to help them glide more smoothly over Ryan's hard cock, and then he pulls back and moves to Spencer.
"Sit back a minute," Spencer says, quietly but firmly. "Tell us what you want us to do."
Brendon's face floods with color. Even now, as clear as it seems and as much as he's shown them he wants it, Spencer is going to make him say it, and he doesn't know if he can do it.
"I--" he starts, his voice raspy and hoarse. His eyes flick up, to see them watching him, Jon's fingers tight against his cock and Ryan and Spencer still using his hands to jerk themselves. "Please, I want you to--"
Brendon feels hot all the way down his neck and across his chest. His voice cracks and he licks his lips and swallows. His lips are buzzing in this weird way where they're kind of raw and also kind of numb. Everyone is still just standing there, looking down at him, and he knows they're waiting, that they can wait, and somehow all that does it make Brendon feel even more desperate. They're not even jerking off anymore, just standing there and watching him.
"I want you to--" he says again, looking down at the floor. "To-- On me," he says.
They still just stand there for a long moment, and Brendon's worried that they're going to make him say more, or, worse, that they won't. It's been leading here, it has. They can't just-- stop.
Brendon looks up, tightening both his hands on Ryan and Spencer's cock, and rasping out, "Please," because they can't stop now, not when Brendon's so close to getting what he wants, what he has wanted.
Spencer's hand starts moving again, and then Ryan's and Jon's. Ryan reaches out with his free hand and cups Brendon's cheek, just quickly, and Brendon leans into it before Ryan pulls away.
Ryan says, "You look good like this," and then Spencer says, "Open your mouth." Spencer touches Brendon's lower lip with two fingers, rubbing them into his mouth and stroking his tongue until Brendon opens wider and slides his tongue out past his lips.
"Just like that," Spencer says, moving his hand away.
Brendon can't even think what he looks like, kneeling there before them. He tries to watch them watching him--they are, intently--but he can't, and he closes his eyes, trying to stay still and quiet, just as Spencer put him, lips parted and tongue slightly out. Waiting.
He can tell from Spencer's breathing, though, that he doesn't have long to wait, and he speeds up their hands on his cock, encouraging Spencer as best he can. "God, Brendon," Spencer chokes out, and Brendon can feel him shaking under Brendon's fingers before he feels the hot streaks against his cheek, chin, mouth. He resists the urge to lick his lips right away and opens his mouth wider, instead.
It earns him another, wordless groan from Spencer, and a gasp--from Jon? Brendon isn't sure. He feels surrounded, overwhelmed with sensation and he's so hard he's having trouble focusing on anything but how shockingly exciting everything feels--every movement, every breath reminds him where he is, what he's doing. What they're doing to him.
Spencer pulls their hands away from his cock with a hiss, and moves his fingers to Brendon's mouth, sliding his thumb across Brendon's lower lip. Brendon sucks it in, carefully licking. Spencer lets him suck on his fingers until they're as clean as Brendon can get them, and then pulls away.
Brendon's eyes flutter open in protest, and he's glad to be able to see, now, because Spencer is leaning over to kiss Jon while he slides his spit-slick hand down his belly to grip at the base of his cock.
Brendon leans forward, and Jon slides his hand into Brendon's hair for the first time. Brendon goes eagerly, and tastes Spencer's fingers as Jon pulls him forward.
Brendon sucks on Jon, licking out even when Jon's cock is in his mouth to try and lap at Spencer's fingers. Jon is close and Brendon can taste him; he wants more.
Spencer's hand starts to move so Brendon pulls back until he has just the tip of Jon's dick in his mouth. He circles his tongue around the head while Spencer jerks off the rest. Jon's hand tightens in his hair, pulling Brendon closer before he remembers and pushes Brendon back.
Brendon watches Spencer's hands move over Jon's dick. He twists his hand when he gets to the head, rubbing with his thumb before he pulls back, Jon's cock sliding through the tight circle of his fist. Brendon licks his lips, but this is good too, watching in the moments between Jon's raw moan and when his cock starts to jerk.
Brendon closes his eyes after the first streak hits him hit up on his cheek. He opens his mouth, sliding his tongue out again, just like Spencer had him do before. Spencer's hand comes out, cupping the other side of his head while Jon's fingers twist in his hair. Spencer says, "Yeah, just like that," and Brendon opens his mouth even wider.
Jon comes over his face and again Brendon holds still, trying to balance what lands on his tongue so that it doesn't just drip down his chin, trying to hold it there so that they can see.
Jon swears quietly and Spencer lets go of his cock. Brendon opens his eyes, carefully, then staring straight up at Jon, he closes he mouth and swallows. He licks his lips, then swallows again.
"Jesus," Jon whispers, swaying unsteadily on his feet. He turns to kiss Spencer, then in the other direction to kiss Ryan. Ryan is still holding his cock, rubbing slowly.
Brendon turns to Ryan, looking up at him and leaning in slowly. He waits until Ryan looks down, until Ryan nods before leaning in the rest of the way and licking over the head of his dick.
"You look like you belong in the porn you showed us," Ryan says, a little breathless, as Brendon sucks. He swipes a couple of his fingers across Brendon's cheek and rubs them together, showing Brendon how much had missed his mouth. Brendon leans back and sucks them, too, looking up at Ryan as he tastes come and sweat and Ryan.
Then he leans forward and licks again at Ryan's cock, sliding his mouth wetly along the side and mouthing at the base. Ryan's cock is too big for him to go all the way down, he thinks, and he doesn't want to accidentally miss and make him come in his mouth instead of on his face, so he's careful to stay back a little, and lick lightly, teasingly along the length, sucking only on the head.
He's anxious now, a little, afraid of ending it too soon--he doesn't know if he'll get them to do this again, and he wants to stretch it out as much as he can in case they didn't like it very much and this is all he gets.
Ryan is swearing under his breath, though, like he does when he's close and trying to hold back, and Jon and Spencer are still standing there, leaning against Ryan and watching. Jon leans over and kisses Ryan, muffling the swearing, and Spencer says something quietly in Ryan's ear that Brendon can't quite hear.
Ryan jerks and makes a hard grab at the base of his cock, and Spencer laughs low, under his breath, then reaches down and firmly pushes Brendon back. "Now," he says firmly, so that Brendon can hear this time, and Brendon barely closes his eyes in time.
Ryan's come drips down the corner of his mouth, and Brendon licks his lips, except-- It might not be Ryan's he's tasting. Brendon's face is sticky, come sliding down his cheeks and his neck. He licks his lips and he doesn't know who he's tasting. His hands have been resting on his thighs and he wants to slide one over to his cock, which is throbbing and twitching, sliding wetly against his belly.
He rubs his hand against his thigh, moving it a little higher, and looking up. He waits until Ryan says, "Show us," until Spencer says, "Yeah," until Jon nods eagerly, before curling his fingers around his dick.
He keeps looking up as he moves his hand, jerking off while they watch. He spreads his knees wider, his thighs aching from this long spent on the floor. His hand slides wetly down his cock. He's leaking everywhere and he's never been this hard before, never been this close to orgasm from so little stimulation.
He looks up and when Spencer says, "C'mon," and Ryan says in a low voice, "Brendon," and Jon echoes them, Brendon comes. He hunches in on himself, shuddering through wave after wave. He meant to keep looking at them, but he can't. They're looking at him though, all three of them staring down, and Brendon doesn't think he's ever going to stop coming.
Brendon doesn't know how much time passes, but when he finally forces his eyes open, there's a hand running through his hair, and another hand circling his wrist, pulling him up, helping him to his feet.
He has trouble standing at first, and Spencer slides an arm around his waist to help him walk the few steps to the nearest bed. Ryan and Jon are close, too, their hands resting on his back. Jon breaks away for a few moments while Spencer and Ryan are getting Brendon arranged between them, and Brendon only notices that he's been gone when he returns, wet washcloth in hand.
"I don't know if you wanted to clean up or not," he says, offering the cloth.
Brendon hesitates, but only for a second. "Yeah, I should," he says, hoarsely. He reaches out for it, but Spencer intervenes before he can grab it.
"No, hey, let us take care of you," he says, and takes the washcloth from Jon. Brendon flicks his eyebrows in wordless amusement. He feels pretty well taken care of.
He's happy to sit back and soak in the reassurance of them curling up around him, though. He's a little afraid that maybe they got swept up in the moment and regret doing it, or didn't like it very much.
He doesn't want to ask, though, and risk making things awkward. He tips his head back and lets Spencer carefully wipe off his face.
"Are you doing okay?" Jon asks, curling up between Brendon and Ryan, ignoring Ryan's protest at being nudged over.
"Yeah," says Brendon. "That was - that was really - " he stops for a second, biting his lip. "Good," he finishes. "It was good."
"Was that how you wanted it?" Ryan asks.
Brendon opens his mouth, but before he can say yes, Spencer starts saying, "You have to tell us these things! If you tell us what you want, we can do them. You just have to tell us how you want it to go, or how you want us to make you feel, or whatever."
"I felt weird asking for that," Brendon says.
"Don't feel weird," Jon says, and Ryan says, "That was hot," while Spencer nods vigorously.
Spencer gives another wipe across Brendon's face, just playfully swiping at his nose, then throws the cloth onto the bedside table. "You were hot," Spencer says, leaning in for a kiss.
Brendon tries to keep his mouth closed, but Spencer coaxes his lips open with his tongue. Brendon knows that he must still taste like come, but if Spencer doesn't mind, Brendon certainly isn't going to stop him.
Jon leans in after that, lunging forward when Spencer gives the first indication of pulling back. There's a bit of a shuffle after that-- Jon huffs, then groans, "Ryan, my ribs." "Sorry, now move over."-- while Ryan pushes his way over to Brendon to grab a kiss of his own.
Everyone starts settling down again, warm bodies on both sides of Brendon. He looks up at the ceiling and asks no one in particular, "Was that-- I mean, how was it for you? Did you think--?"
Nobody answers at first, and Brendon bites his lip. Then Ryan snorts. "You're kidding, right?" He leans back up on an elbow, looking at Brendon seriously. "That was fucking amazing," he says. "You want to do it again? I'm totally into that. I bet Jon and Spencer are too, because--" he leans down and lowers his voice. His breath ruffles Brendon's hair, he's so close. "You look so fucking hot on your knees for us, Brendon."
Brendon has to close his eyes. He feels a wave of relief - they didn't hate it, they don't think he's some kind of deviant - and then Ryan's words sink in a little more. "Again?" he asks.
Spencer laughs. "I don't think we can go again, like, now," he says, and Jon snorts.
"I mean-" Brendon can feel himself blushing, "You wouldn't mind doing it again sometime?"
"Um, yeah," Jon says. Brendon can feel Spencer nodding. "But can we talk about it later? I'm so tired."
Once Jon has mentioned it, Brendon can't stop thinking about how tired he is, and the comforting warmth of their bodies surrounding him. He makes a happy, sleepy noise and flings his arms and legs possessively around the nearest bandmate. From the resigned little noise his victim makes, he thinks it's Ryan.
"Yeah, totally. Later. 'Night," Brendon says, already feeling half-asleep. Jon and Spencer echo him. Ryan just mutters a little, and Brendon tightens his grip as he drops off to sleep.