So there was me, Al Greenspan, and Joe Stiglitz, all sitting in a bar one afternoon on the Lower East side, drinking cosmos and talking about Reagan's foreign policy and such. After a while, we noticed Joe was staring at a TV above the bar, mumbling to himself. Alan asks, "'Ey Joe, whaddya lookin' at?" and Joe goes, "General Dynamics up 1.4." And I ( Read more... )

For all you non-smokers, a plain cigarette--depending on the type, number of re-fries, outside temperature, cleanliness of the mouth, and rate of smoking--can have any combination of these flavors:

Licorice
Ammonia
Vomit
Chocolate
Steak (medium-well)
Soap
Gingerbread

This is by no means a comprehensive list, and any further suggestions are

( Read more... )

There's some white flaky shit falling from the sky. Is it fallout? Anthrax? Ashes from a mass cremation?

Should I be armed and ready?

I long to have whatever inspires the placid faces of Buddha and Jesus. I know that many millions of others see those expressions and think the same. They think, in this life of pain, they knew something that made it all okay to sit under a banyan tree or preach peace (more or less) on a hillside in the desert ( Read more... )

From Squee45:

"If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now (even if we don't speak often), please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me.

It can be anything you want -- good or bad -- BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised ( ( Read more... )

Is it possible, I wonder, to experience Stockholm syndrome toward an institution?

...School, for example.

I know that most of you have realized that I'm pretty obsessed with my hair.

What many of you may not know is that my mother is a hairdresser.

In other words, my mom has chosen, as her career, her calling in life, to cut and style other people's hair. For this, she is titled Hair Stylist. She has a business devoted to the cutting and shaping of ( Read more... )

I never realized that Julia Butterfly was so hot.

It's a shame she was also such a god damned hippie.

"Aby jednak tak się stało potrzebna jest prosta edukacja - jak wybierać te 'dbające produkty'? Pierwszym krokiem do świadomych zakupów jest wykreowanie takiej potrzeby, drugim wyjaśnienie, jak takie produkty znajdować."

Doesn't it look like the Polish language is beating itself up?

ZSTOPPCK FYTIINGY WJIETH YOURSELFKY!!!