Crimson Mask query letter - help needed.
Wow, this thing still exists? I kind of figured LJ would just delete it from inactivity. Anyway, Sara has written a query letter for me and I desperately need some feedback on it. Hopefully soon, too, because I'd like this thing mailed out (or e-mailed out) by Thursday
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Dear Agent,
I am seeking representation for my fantasy novel, The Crimson Mask, complete at 130,000 words.
The Crimson Mask is a fast-paced medieval fantasy set in Jyoto, the religious capital of the book's world, where the High Priestess of the Goddess Inashita holds benevolent court. Along with the creator-goddess, the world is populated by a cast of demi-gods known as the “Wanderers.” But (Never start a sentence with but) A shadow is cast over this peaceful world when by a group of zealots calling themselves the “Chosen of Inashita” who have split from the faith, eager to eradicate the Wanderers and worship the Goddess as their sole deity. It is This conflict that catapults Ryjel, the book's protagonist, into an unexpected life as an assassin when the Chosen of Inashita martyr his parents, attendants to one of the Wanderers.
When a schism within the Chosen of Inashita brings their leaders back to Jyoto, Ryjel sees an opportunity to achieve long denied vengence. But (Never start a sentence with but) His quest for revenge must ( ... )
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