Crimson Mask query letter - help needed.
Wow, this thing still exists? I kind of figured LJ would just delete it from inactivity. Anyway, Sara has written a query letter for me and I desperately need some feedback on it. Hopefully soon, too, because I'd like this thing mailed out (or e-mailed out) by Thursday.
Dear Agent,
I am seeking representation for my fantasy novel, The Crimson Mask, complete at 130,000 words.
The Crimson Mask is a fast-paced medieval fantasy set in Jyoto, the religious capital of the book's world, where the High Priestess of the Goddess Inashita holds benevolent court. Along with the creator-goddess, the world is populated by a cast of demi-gods known as the “Wanderers.” But a shadow is cast over this peaceful world when a group of zealots calling themselves the “Chosen of Inashita” split from the faith, eager to eradicate the Wanderers and worship the Goddess as their sole deity. It is this conflict that catapults Ryjel, the book's protagonist, into an unexpected life as an assassin when the Chosen of Inashita martyr his parents, attendants to one of the Wanderers.
When a schism within the Chosen of Inashita brings their leaders back to Jyoto, Ryjel sees an opportunity to achieve long denied vengence. But his quest for revenge must be put on hold when he is forced to join with Betel the Guise, the leader of the Chosen of Inashita and the man who led the attack on his parents, in order to safeguard the world from an even greater threat: Antares, a mage who now wields power over death itself. Now embroiled in what has become an all-out war for the city of Jyoto, Ryjel finds even more unlikely allies including a mysterious attendant to the Red Lady- the avatar of death, a warrior-mage prodigy who wields a sentient and curmudgeonly sword, and the High Priestess who guards a secret.
But opposing this unlikely federation is an army of the undead lead by Antares and his champion, Shaula, another attendant of the Red Lady and a master sword-maiden, who herself seeks vengence on Betel. Before the battle is over, Ryjel will find that there are things more important to him than vengeance and will discover just what he is willing to sacrifice to stop Antares and save his world.
The Crimson Mask is a visceral fantasy that combines intense action, engaging characters, and a world that is both mythical and dangerous. It's a tale of gritty, urban warfare but never loses the wonder of the world, nor forgets the art of story-telling.
Included with this query are the (number of pages) sample and a brief synopsis of The Crimson Mask. Please do not hesitate to contact me with any questions.
Thank you so much for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Dear Agent,
I am seeking representation for my fantasy novel, The Crimson Mask, complete at 130,000 words.
The Crimson Mask is a fast-paced medieval fantasy set in Jyoto, the religious capital of the book's world, where the High Priestess of the Goddess Inashita holds benevolent court. Along with the creator-goddess, the world is populated by a cast of demi-gods known as the “Wanderers.” But a shadow is cast over this peaceful world when a group of zealots calling themselves the “Chosen of Inashita” split from the faith, eager to eradicate the Wanderers and worship the Goddess as their sole deity. It is this conflict that catapults Ryjel, the book's protagonist, into an unexpected life as an assassin when the Chosen of Inashita martyr his parents, attendants to one of the Wanderers.
When a schism within the Chosen of Inashita brings their leaders back to Jyoto, Ryjel sees an opportunity to achieve long denied vengence. But his quest for revenge must be put on hold when he is forced to join with Betel the Guise, the leader of the Chosen of Inashita and the man who led the attack on his parents, in order to safeguard the world from an even greater threat: Antares, a mage who now wields power over death itself. Now embroiled in what has become an all-out war for the city of Jyoto, Ryjel finds even more unlikely allies including a mysterious attendant to the Red Lady- the avatar of death, a warrior-mage prodigy who wields a sentient and curmudgeonly sword, and the High Priestess who guards a secret.
But opposing this unlikely federation is an army of the undead lead by Antares and his champion, Shaula, another attendant of the Red Lady and a master sword-maiden, who herself seeks vengence on Betel. Before the battle is over, Ryjel will find that there are things more important to him than vengeance and will discover just what he is willing to sacrifice to stop Antares and save his world.
The Crimson Mask is a visceral fantasy that combines intense action, engaging characters, and a world that is both mythical and dangerous. It's a tale of gritty, urban warfare but never loses the wonder of the world, nor forgets the art of story-telling.
Included with this query are the (number of pages) sample and a brief synopsis of The Crimson Mask. Please do not hesitate to contact me with any questions.
Thank you so much for your consideration.
Sincerely,