All my friends are way too grown-up...

[denorios]

It seems like everyone around me is, well, grown-up. Two of my friends are getting married in March, another one has just got engaged, one friend had a baby yesterday, another is being induced today, another is due in April, another's wife is due in the summer... My Facebook feed is getting so boring

Comments

[poisontaster]

Well, I think societally we put a HUGE amount of pressure on people to want those things, but like any other preference, that's all it is. So yeah, other people will probably make you feel weird if that's not what you want, but that's no reason to do it to yourself, because there's nothing wrong with not wanting it. Life is a spectrum of wants, and plenty of people live happy, lovely, interesting lives without spouses or children or whatever.

Also, other than maybe natural childbirth, it's NEVER too late, if you should, at some point much later decide you want marriage or kids. It's not a factor of not growing up. It's a factor of being a different kind of adult. Be the different adult.

[angel_vixen]

I have a bunch of mixed-up feelings about this too -- I'd like to be in a serious relationship, but I honestly have so much on my plate at the moment, having gone back for a new degree and doing all the travel my studies need, that I'm not sure I could give a potential partner as much care and attention as I and they would like. This isn't to rule out that there are men out there who are in the same boat and who would understand my predicament, or men who are settled into their chosen career but who would be all right with pauses between texts or not hearing from me for a day or two if work takes me out of cell/wireless range. I can be very creative in communicating if the need arises, though

[elfinessy]

Loads of my friends have kids and they seem very grown up. I'm married but I've never wanted kids, I don't see that people have to want them - there is enough people in the world as it is!
But those of us without kids are definitely more immature than those of us with them!

[thesunifollow]

Wow, I could have written this myself.

It is indeed very difficult to figure out what you want for yourself, especially when everyone around you is "growing up", starting families and whatnot. I've always been fairly okay with being single, except recently I've been thinking it would be nice to have a partner, and a big reason behind that is that all my friends are a twosome now. I'm happy for them but it does get old being the third wheel.

I'm not sure I want marriage and kids (don't tell my mom) but I'm getting around to the idea of having a (life)partner to share my life with going forward.

[denorios]

Yeah, that's the other thing - is I'm having to get so used to doing everything solo, because it seems like all my friends are coupled up. No-one wants to hang out anymore, no-one wants to have girls' nights, no-one wants to go on holiday - because when they want to do those things they want to do them with their families. It's getting...lonely. So sometimes I think maybe I do want a relationship, if only so I won't feel lonely - but then I think I don't want the hassle of a relationship, I just want some single friends again!

[ciaimpala]

It took me a long time, and a lot of therapy to be honest, to be comfortable in my own skin with the choices I've made in my life, regardless of what society thinks. Just know you're not alone in figuring all this out *hugs*