( Read more... )

if the moon smiled, she would resemble you ( Read more... )

i feel like we have become absolutely realized, in the last two days; we are concrete, grounded with roots and love.

never mind, again, and again, and again. this is our pattern - i am the dumbest girl - i should understand it by now. i should just accept it now. i should just walk away now.

FUCK ALL THREE OF YOU. if this is revenge of some sort it is disgusting & i give up.

he says 'i love you' before he closes the door of our apartment, making sure to lock it. i stay in bed, in our bed, and can hear his boots like hooves on the hardwood all the way to the buildings entrance ( Read more... )

bundled up on our couch, drinking earl grey. i should be cleaning but i cannot motivate myself - the light dims outside, and i just don't care. he has been gone for three days now and will be home late tomorrow night - i plan on getting him in bed immediately and curling up between his chin and knees; breathing deep, feeling safe ( Read more... )

we sat in her mothers living room, our faces lit by the television, our frantic speech punctured by wildly moving hands and lighters clicking. we speak of fig trees, of change vs. growth, of our lives as living organisms, of output, of us. we reassure and push each other. we know what we must do - the steps to take on this path we have made - and i ( Read more... )

i am feeling rushed and unfocused, drinking juice boxes and eating eating ginger snaps, alone for an extended amount of time. ryan has flown to arizona for christmas, and i just figured out that last night (spent on the couch, albeit with all the bedclothes from our room) was the first night i spent alone in probably two years. the first night ( Read more... )

fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you ( Read more... )

also: i love my wife. more than i ever thought possible. lately i haven't been speaking to anyone much, but i have been feeling and feeling and feeling: mostly for her.

i love you, jess! simply, powerfully, year after year after year.