You are my Voice - Reita x Ruki - 08/xx
Title: You are my voice
Chapters: 08/xx
Author:
kiyoshiyuu
Genre: AU, fluff, eventually angsty
Warnings: muteness, manxman love, bad english
Rating: PG-13 to be sure
Pairings/Characters: ReitaxRuki
Disclaimer: the GazettE belong to themselves only. My imagination is mine though.
Synopsis: What was shyness before, now appeared to Reita to be fear, and what was an admiring look from the other was now a gaze filled with pain and hopelessness.
Comments: This is completely AU. Many things are totally made up or only half true, but after all this is fiction :D
chapter 01 | chapter 02 | chapter 03 | chapter 04 | chapter 05
chapter 06 | chapter 07 | chapter 08
17.01.2008 @ 13.37
Title: Whatever ...
It's still there and I don't know what to do. What would you do if the person you loved was living in a different world that you could only reach by an overly expensive space ship you will never own ?
I'm always going to stay here.
He's always going to be light years away from me.
Why, stupid me, why ?
My birthday will be soon. Probably it'll just pass by lonely.
--
It had been two days since Reita was staying at his home. He had slept horribly since then and on the third day he decided to sleep on the couch again. His bed was drenched with Reita’s smell. It was not only in the blanket and in his pillow, it was in the mattress, on the wall, on the floor, on the bedframe, in the towels in the bathroom, it was also very strongly on the couch, but not as strongly as in the bed. It almost killed Ruki.
His whole flat smelled like Reita.
He had the windows open all day long but Ruki was sure that the scent did not want to go away. Finally he thought it was just his imagination that told him the scent was still there, so he gave up trying to get rid of it.
At the moment he was sitting at home, being very bored. He had finished his work and he had nothing to do, for real. No interview, no translation, nothing. This was a rare circumstance. And now he didn’t know what to do for fun.
So he was surfing the net, doing research on Reita related forums and websites, chatting with his friends, staring holes into the screen. By the way, it was not like he had forgotten about his old friends because of Reita. He still ‘talked’ to them a lot. Especially to his old friends in England. They often made plans to visit Ruki, but till that day no one had had the time or the money to come. Besides, they were all Reita fans, too, and they would have liked to come when Reita was on tour.
Anyway, Ruki was surfing the net. When he checked his emails, he saw that some person had added him to their friends list. Ruki wondered who that might be and looked at their profile. It was a new profile, there were no other journals added besides his and they had only written one entry, which looked rather like a test entry than an actual entry. The user’s name was interesting, though. His name was “rocknroll_swindle” and it sounded very Reita related. Might have been a fellow fan. So Ruki added them back.
However, if Ruki could have seen who the person behind that name was, who that man sitting behind the screen at the other end was, he would have never added them back. That person was not a fan at all, he was someone Ruki knew very well.
“rocknroll_swindle” had reflected on adding Ruki for quite some time first before he actually did it. He was not sure if it was not a crime, maybe it was but not an official one that would cause any conflict with the law, to stalk his friend’s journal without asking him before. But he knew that he was definitely on thin ice with what he was doing. Losing the other’s trust was the worst thing that could happen.
Nevertheless, Reita was a curious person and after he had done some research he had easily found Ruki’s journal. He was nervous when he clicked on the “add as friend” button, but when Ruki had finally added him back he began to read Ruki’s entries eagerly.
Actually he didn’t have the time for that, but Ruki, and what Ruki would think and say about him, was constantly occupying his mind and he had to clarify the matter finally. So he flew over the pages of Ruki’s blog, reading through all of Ruki’s entries where he could find his name. Reita was certain that he read through 95 percent of all of Ruki’s entries before he had finished.
Reita had known before that Ruki liked him, that was obvious from Ruki’s behaviour and from the way he treated him. But just like Ruki, Reita had always thought that Ruki loved him as a fan. The entries, however, spoke another language. Somehow Reita wished now that he wouldn’t have read Ruki’s blog. There were things written in there that he shouldn’t have read, things that he knew Ruki would have rather kept to himself.
Reita was somewhat irritated at first because Ruki had written about their friendship almost publicly although Reita had told him to keep it a secret. But the irritation soon gave way for other feelings.
He felt confused and helpless.
What should he do with Ruki now ? Ruki had clearly written “I’ve fallen in love with Reita and I know I shouldn’t but I have and now I don’t know what to do,” and it hurt Reita so much. Ruki was his dear friend, but nothing more than that.
The only thing he knew was that he didn’t return Ruki’s feelings.
He knew for sure that Ruki would have taken his feelings with him to the grave if Reita hadn’t read his blog. And in that moment Reita would have been glad if he did. But now it was too late. Reita would have to deal with the fact that Ruki loved him, whenever he saw him from now on.
That the whole thing was really frustrating made itself visible in the next few days.
Ruki was staying at Reita’s very often, working in the singer’s living room instead of his own, slowly getting used to that huge apartment with all the expensive looking things in there.
Reita was then observing the smaller one much more carefully than before. He noticed everything that was even only somewhat out of place. He could clearly feel that Ruki still felt inferior to him - this was a fact he had read in his blog, too - and it was something Reita still wasn’t able to understand, but he noticed even more now how much the other loved him.
What was shyness before now appeared to Reita to be fear, and what was an admiring look from the other was now a gaze filled with pain and hopelessness.
Ruki clearly didn’t suspect Reita of reading his blog, but still Reita felt a bit frightened. He didn’t want to give himself away or to give Ruki a hint that he knew everything. There were about five minutes in which he felt really weak as he was observing his friend and almost told Ruki everything. He already began to stutter that he wanted to talk to him about something, but changed his mind about it in the last second, telling Ruki it was nothing.
Ruki looked at Reita questioningly. Reita was really behaving strangely today, making Ruki slightly worried. Reita noticed how Ruki was gazing at him what made him feel even more awkward. He hesitated for a moment before he got up and rushed to the door.
“I’m going to get something to eat, be right back,” he shouted back to the living room before he put his shoes and a coat on and was out of the door. He stepped out of the building and the first thing he did was groaning. It was raining like madly and of course he didn’t have an umbrella with him. But he just needed some distance from Ruki right now, so he stepped out in the rain, ignoring the coldness, walking slowly in the direction of the conbini.
He looked at the grey sky and the raindrops that were falling down from it. He thought the scenery looked just like his soul looked like at the moment. He shook his head about that.
“Yeah, great, Reita ... now write a song about it,” he grumbled to himself, ironically.
At the time he stepped out of the conbini again the weather hadn’t changed for a bit. He walked back through the rain, somewhat faster this time, carrying a bag with hot nikuman with him, delicious steamed dough stuffed with meat. He knew that Ruki liked them. He had seen how Ruki had posted a picture of them in his blog with a really cute comment below, stating that he loved eating those things even more than eating crêpes with vanilla ice cream.
When he entered the door, wet to the skin, Ruki came running towards him, waving his arms up and down in this precious way of his, making Reita’s heart doing strange things like skipping a beat, for instance. Reita knew that whenever Ruki flapped his arms like this, he was either excited, sorry, or concerned about something. This time he was obviously really worried about Reita’s health, as the latter was dripping wet from head to toe.
“Oh, I’m okay, don’t worry,” Reita said shortly. “Here, I hope you like them.”
He handed Ruki the bag with the nikuman and observed his reaction. When Ruki saw what Reita had brought he began to smile and nodding his head. Reita returned the smile. Ruki was almost addicted to those things, therefore he was happy that Reita had picked exactly those accidentally. Or accidentally he thought.
“I’m going to change quickly, don’t ever dare starting to eat without me !” the taller man said jokingly, going to get some new clothes before he went to the bathroom. Ruki went to sit on the couch in the meantime. He was staring at the bag on the table in front of him, having thoughts he should have left in the deepest and darkest corner of his mind. However, he always had those thoughts when Reita was in the bathroom, showering or changing his clothes. He was imagining his bare chest, his slender legs ...
The bathroom door opened again and Reita stepped out of it, pulling Ruki abruptly out of his thoughts. He looked at Reita guiltily for a split second before he smiled again and took a nikuman out of the bag. He handed it to Reita before taking the other one.
He tried not to think about Reita too much. Thoughts about him only made him feel depressed, no matter of what sort they were. He still hadn’t figured out why Reita was associating with him. Wasn’t he just a bother ? There were millions of people out there who would have been better company for Reita, who were actually able to keep a proper conversation with him. He still couldn’t understand it.
They were both silent while eating. What was not unusual but normal for Ruki, was not at all usual for Reita. Usually, Reita would blab non stop when Ruki was there but Reita was strange today anyway. It made Ruki sad because Reita wouldn’t talk to him about it. But who was he that he could expect Reita to talk to him about his problems.
Ruki was glad when they finally went to bed. The blond had finally getting used to sleeping in Reita’s apartment. In Reita’s apartment, Reita’s scent was everywhere, too, but it wasn’t as bad as at Ruki’s place. When Reita came to Ruki’s place for the very first time, it was like he was a drop of ink that was dripped onto a clear surface of water, slowly diffusing to all directions. And a drop of ink was outstandingly visible in pure liquid just as his scent was in Ruki’s room.
However, in that moment there were other things preventing him from his well deserved sleep. His thoughts for example. He turned from one side to the other, constantly trying to find a comfortable position to lie in but he couldn’t find one. At one point of the night he heard Reita getting up and coming out of his room. He could hear the footsteps in front of the guest room door.
When Ruki didn’t hear them coming back after ten minutes, he got up as well. He saw the lights turned on in the kitchen. Slowly and carefully he approached it. Reita was sitting at the kitchen table with his hands put around a cup of tea. Ruki quickly memorised the picture in his head. It was too precious to let it go to waste.
Reita soon noticed that Ruki was standing there. Surprised, he looked at him.
“Hey,” he spoke with a soft voice, making Ruki melt inside. “Can’t sleep ?” Ruki shook his head. Reita nodded knowingly. He wasn’t able to sleep in his current state of mind either.
Ruki helped himself to a cup of tea as well. But as soon as he was sitting at the table opposite of Reita that silence stroke him again. He hated that awkwardness which had come between them all of a sudden. They were both just sitting there as if the other wasn’t present at all. Ruki was afraid he would lose Reita again. He was afraid that Reita would lose interest in him.
”He doesn’t need me,” was everything Ruki could think of. ”What does he need me for,” was everything he was wondering. Didn’t Reita have everything he wanted, couldn’t he have everything if he wanted to ? He shifted in his chair restlessly.
Reita watched Ruki and how he was gazing at the steaming cup in front of him. He recalled again what Ruki had written in his diary and again he wished he would have never read it. While he was looking at this delicate figure in front of him he knew very well why Ruki looked so sad all the time. And it ate Reita up from the inside. It hurt so much. Why him of all people ? Couldn’t Ruki just love somebody else ?
Reita took the last gulp from his cup and then stood up, putting the cup aside. He then looked at Ruki who looked back. Those sad eyes again. Ruki hadn’t always been this sad, hadn’t he ?
Reita didn’t know what to think anymore. Suddenly Ruki felt like a complete stranger to him. Where was that boy who was always smiling at him - smiling. He felt like he was losing himself in those eyes, thinking hard about how they had looked like before.
“You know,” he finally said. “I like your smile a lot more,” and after a short pause he added “Please don’t cry anymore because of me,” almost in a whisper. He looked at Ruki’s confused expression for a moment more before he returned to his room, locking the door behind him.
Now Ruki couldn’t sleep anymore at all. He was confused as hell, wondering all night long what Reita had meant with what he had said. He shouldn’t cry because of him anymore ? But Reita didn’t know he was crying because of him, wasn’t he ? But what if he did ? Ruki hoped that Reita didn’t know of his feelings for him. That would have been the most terrible thing ever for him.
After that sleepless night, Ruki asked Reita what he had meant with what he had said. He just had to know it.
”I’m not crying because of you ! What are you thinking ?” he typed into his Locutor. Reita read it with a frown on his face. He would have liked to say “Ruki, don’t lie to me, I know that you do”, but he kept that to himself, it would have lead to only more questions and Reita wanted to avoid that. Then he only smiled at Ruki.
“Just forget about it, okay ?”
--
A/N:
yay, okay, “Reita no Rock’n Roll Swindle” is the name of Reita’s real blog (ﾟ∇ﾟ)
And nikuman are the most delicious things I have ever eaten in my entire life ! *laugh*
I'm still busy with school ...
Uhm, I've already written 10 chapters ... and I started writing chapter 11 .. but I make sure that I'm always some chapters ahead .. ehehe ... I might post the next one in two weeks then ^^
I'm sorry that my writing is always so shallow and will probably always remain shallow but I hope you'll enjoy this story nevertheless m(_ _)m
Chapters: 08/xx
Author:
kiyoshiyuu
Genre: AU, fluff, eventually angsty
Warnings: muteness, manxman love, bad english
Rating: PG-13 to be sure
Pairings/Characters: ReitaxRuki
Disclaimer: the GazettE belong to themselves only. My imagination is mine though.
Synopsis: What was shyness before, now appeared to Reita to be fear, and what was an admiring look from the other was now a gaze filled with pain and hopelessness.
Comments: This is completely AU. Many things are totally made up or only half true, but after all this is fiction :D
chapter 01 | chapter 02 | chapter 03 | chapter 04 | chapter 05
chapter 06 | chapter 07 | chapter 08
17.01.2008 @ 13.37
Title: Whatever ...
It's still there and I don't know what to do. What would you do if the person you loved was living in a different world that you could only reach by an overly expensive space ship you will never own ?
I'm always going to stay here.
He's always going to be light years away from me.
Why, stupid me, why ?
My birthday will be soon. Probably it'll just pass by lonely.
--
It had been two days since Reita was staying at his home. He had slept horribly since then and on the third day he decided to sleep on the couch again. His bed was drenched with Reita’s smell. It was not only in the blanket and in his pillow, it was in the mattress, on the wall, on the floor, on the bedframe, in the towels in the bathroom, it was also very strongly on the couch, but not as strongly as in the bed. It almost killed Ruki.
His whole flat smelled like Reita.
He had the windows open all day long but Ruki was sure that the scent did not want to go away. Finally he thought it was just his imagination that told him the scent was still there, so he gave up trying to get rid of it.
At the moment he was sitting at home, being very bored. He had finished his work and he had nothing to do, for real. No interview, no translation, nothing. This was a rare circumstance. And now he didn’t know what to do for fun.
So he was surfing the net, doing research on Reita related forums and websites, chatting with his friends, staring holes into the screen. By the way, it was not like he had forgotten about his old friends because of Reita. He still ‘talked’ to them a lot. Especially to his old friends in England. They often made plans to visit Ruki, but till that day no one had had the time or the money to come. Besides, they were all Reita fans, too, and they would have liked to come when Reita was on tour.
Anyway, Ruki was surfing the net. When he checked his emails, he saw that some person had added him to their friends list. Ruki wondered who that might be and looked at their profile. It was a new profile, there were no other journals added besides his and they had only written one entry, which looked rather like a test entry than an actual entry. The user’s name was interesting, though. His name was “rocknroll_swindle” and it sounded very Reita related. Might have been a fellow fan. So Ruki added them back.
However, if Ruki could have seen who the person behind that name was, who that man sitting behind the screen at the other end was, he would have never added them back. That person was not a fan at all, he was someone Ruki knew very well.
“rocknroll_swindle” had reflected on adding Ruki for quite some time first before he actually did it. He was not sure if it was not a crime, maybe it was but not an official one that would cause any conflict with the law, to stalk his friend’s journal without asking him before. But he knew that he was definitely on thin ice with what he was doing. Losing the other’s trust was the worst thing that could happen.
Nevertheless, Reita was a curious person and after he had done some research he had easily found Ruki’s journal. He was nervous when he clicked on the “add as friend” button, but when Ruki had finally added him back he began to read Ruki’s entries eagerly.
Actually he didn’t have the time for that, but Ruki, and what Ruki would think and say about him, was constantly occupying his mind and he had to clarify the matter finally. So he flew over the pages of Ruki’s blog, reading through all of Ruki’s entries where he could find his name. Reita was certain that he read through 95 percent of all of Ruki’s entries before he had finished.
Reita had known before that Ruki liked him, that was obvious from Ruki’s behaviour and from the way he treated him. But just like Ruki, Reita had always thought that Ruki loved him as a fan. The entries, however, spoke another language. Somehow Reita wished now that he wouldn’t have read Ruki’s blog. There were things written in there that he shouldn’t have read, things that he knew Ruki would have rather kept to himself.
Reita was somewhat irritated at first because Ruki had written about their friendship almost publicly although Reita had told him to keep it a secret. But the irritation soon gave way for other feelings.
He felt confused and helpless.
What should he do with Ruki now ? Ruki had clearly written “I’ve fallen in love with Reita and I know I shouldn’t but I have and now I don’t know what to do,” and it hurt Reita so much. Ruki was his dear friend, but nothing more than that.
The only thing he knew was that he didn’t return Ruki’s feelings.
He knew for sure that Ruki would have taken his feelings with him to the grave if Reita hadn’t read his blog. And in that moment Reita would have been glad if he did. But now it was too late. Reita would have to deal with the fact that Ruki loved him, whenever he saw him from now on.
That the whole thing was really frustrating made itself visible in the next few days.
Ruki was staying at Reita’s very often, working in the singer’s living room instead of his own, slowly getting used to that huge apartment with all the expensive looking things in there.
Reita was then observing the smaller one much more carefully than before. He noticed everything that was even only somewhat out of place. He could clearly feel that Ruki still felt inferior to him - this was a fact he had read in his blog, too - and it was something Reita still wasn’t able to understand, but he noticed even more now how much the other loved him.
What was shyness before now appeared to Reita to be fear, and what was an admiring look from the other was now a gaze filled with pain and hopelessness.
Ruki clearly didn’t suspect Reita of reading his blog, but still Reita felt a bit frightened. He didn’t want to give himself away or to give Ruki a hint that he knew everything. There were about five minutes in which he felt really weak as he was observing his friend and almost told Ruki everything. He already began to stutter that he wanted to talk to him about something, but changed his mind about it in the last second, telling Ruki it was nothing.
Ruki looked at Reita questioningly. Reita was really behaving strangely today, making Ruki slightly worried. Reita noticed how Ruki was gazing at him what made him feel even more awkward. He hesitated for a moment before he got up and rushed to the door.
“I’m going to get something to eat, be right back,” he shouted back to the living room before he put his shoes and a coat on and was out of the door. He stepped out of the building and the first thing he did was groaning. It was raining like madly and of course he didn’t have an umbrella with him. But he just needed some distance from Ruki right now, so he stepped out in the rain, ignoring the coldness, walking slowly in the direction of the conbini.
He looked at the grey sky and the raindrops that were falling down from it. He thought the scenery looked just like his soul looked like at the moment. He shook his head about that.
“Yeah, great, Reita ... now write a song about it,” he grumbled to himself, ironically.
At the time he stepped out of the conbini again the weather hadn’t changed for a bit. He walked back through the rain, somewhat faster this time, carrying a bag with hot nikuman with him, delicious steamed dough stuffed with meat. He knew that Ruki liked them. He had seen how Ruki had posted a picture of them in his blog with a really cute comment below, stating that he loved eating those things even more than eating crêpes with vanilla ice cream.
When he entered the door, wet to the skin, Ruki came running towards him, waving his arms up and down in this precious way of his, making Reita’s heart doing strange things like skipping a beat, for instance. Reita knew that whenever Ruki flapped his arms like this, he was either excited, sorry, or concerned about something. This time he was obviously really worried about Reita’s health, as the latter was dripping wet from head to toe.
“Oh, I’m okay, don’t worry,” Reita said shortly. “Here, I hope you like them.”
He handed Ruki the bag with the nikuman and observed his reaction. When Ruki saw what Reita had brought he began to smile and nodding his head. Reita returned the smile. Ruki was almost addicted to those things, therefore he was happy that Reita had picked exactly those accidentally. Or accidentally he thought.
“I’m going to change quickly, don’t ever dare starting to eat without me !” the taller man said jokingly, going to get some new clothes before he went to the bathroom. Ruki went to sit on the couch in the meantime. He was staring at the bag on the table in front of him, having thoughts he should have left in the deepest and darkest corner of his mind. However, he always had those thoughts when Reita was in the bathroom, showering or changing his clothes. He was imagining his bare chest, his slender legs ...
The bathroom door opened again and Reita stepped out of it, pulling Ruki abruptly out of his thoughts. He looked at Reita guiltily for a split second before he smiled again and took a nikuman out of the bag. He handed it to Reita before taking the other one.
He tried not to think about Reita too much. Thoughts about him only made him feel depressed, no matter of what sort they were. He still hadn’t figured out why Reita was associating with him. Wasn’t he just a bother ? There were millions of people out there who would have been better company for Reita, who were actually able to keep a proper conversation with him. He still couldn’t understand it.
They were both silent while eating. What was not unusual but normal for Ruki, was not at all usual for Reita. Usually, Reita would blab non stop when Ruki was there but Reita was strange today anyway. It made Ruki sad because Reita wouldn’t talk to him about it. But who was he that he could expect Reita to talk to him about his problems.
Ruki was glad when they finally went to bed. The blond had finally getting used to sleeping in Reita’s apartment. In Reita’s apartment, Reita’s scent was everywhere, too, but it wasn’t as bad as at Ruki’s place. When Reita came to Ruki’s place for the very first time, it was like he was a drop of ink that was dripped onto a clear surface of water, slowly diffusing to all directions. And a drop of ink was outstandingly visible in pure liquid just as his scent was in Ruki’s room.
However, in that moment there were other things preventing him from his well deserved sleep. His thoughts for example. He turned from one side to the other, constantly trying to find a comfortable position to lie in but he couldn’t find one. At one point of the night he heard Reita getting up and coming out of his room. He could hear the footsteps in front of the guest room door.
When Ruki didn’t hear them coming back after ten minutes, he got up as well. He saw the lights turned on in the kitchen. Slowly and carefully he approached it. Reita was sitting at the kitchen table with his hands put around a cup of tea. Ruki quickly memorised the picture in his head. It was too precious to let it go to waste.
Reita soon noticed that Ruki was standing there. Surprised, he looked at him.
“Hey,” he spoke with a soft voice, making Ruki melt inside. “Can’t sleep ?” Ruki shook his head. Reita nodded knowingly. He wasn’t able to sleep in his current state of mind either.
Ruki helped himself to a cup of tea as well. But as soon as he was sitting at the table opposite of Reita that silence stroke him again. He hated that awkwardness which had come between them all of a sudden. They were both just sitting there as if the other wasn’t present at all. Ruki was afraid he would lose Reita again. He was afraid that Reita would lose interest in him.
”He doesn’t need me,” was everything Ruki could think of. ”What does he need me for,” was everything he was wondering. Didn’t Reita have everything he wanted, couldn’t he have everything if he wanted to ? He shifted in his chair restlessly.
Reita watched Ruki and how he was gazing at the steaming cup in front of him. He recalled again what Ruki had written in his diary and again he wished he would have never read it. While he was looking at this delicate figure in front of him he knew very well why Ruki looked so sad all the time. And it ate Reita up from the inside. It hurt so much. Why him of all people ? Couldn’t Ruki just love somebody else ?
Reita took the last gulp from his cup and then stood up, putting the cup aside. He then looked at Ruki who looked back. Those sad eyes again. Ruki hadn’t always been this sad, hadn’t he ?
Reita didn’t know what to think anymore. Suddenly Ruki felt like a complete stranger to him. Where was that boy who was always smiling at him - smiling. He felt like he was losing himself in those eyes, thinking hard about how they had looked like before.
“You know,” he finally said. “I like your smile a lot more,” and after a short pause he added “Please don’t cry anymore because of me,” almost in a whisper. He looked at Ruki’s confused expression for a moment more before he returned to his room, locking the door behind him.
Now Ruki couldn’t sleep anymore at all. He was confused as hell, wondering all night long what Reita had meant with what he had said. He shouldn’t cry because of him anymore ? But Reita didn’t know he was crying because of him, wasn’t he ? But what if he did ? Ruki hoped that Reita didn’t know of his feelings for him. That would have been the most terrible thing ever for him.
After that sleepless night, Ruki asked Reita what he had meant with what he had said. He just had to know it.
”I’m not crying because of you ! What are you thinking ?” he typed into his Locutor. Reita read it with a frown on his face. He would have liked to say “Ruki, don’t lie to me, I know that you do”, but he kept that to himself, it would have lead to only more questions and Reita wanted to avoid that. Then he only smiled at Ruki.
“Just forget about it, okay ?”
--
A/N:
yay, okay, “Reita no Rock’n Roll Swindle” is the name of Reita’s real blog (ﾟ∇ﾟ)
And nikuman are the most delicious things I have ever eaten in my entire life ! *laugh*
I'm still busy with school ...
Uhm, I've already written 10 chapters ... and I started writing chapter 11 .. but I make sure that I'm always some chapters ahead .. ehehe ... I might post the next one in two weeks then ^^
I'm sorry that my writing is always so shallow and will probably always remain shallow but I hope you'll enjoy this story nevertheless m(_ _)m