You are my Voice - Reita x Ruki - 07/xx
Title: You are my voice
Chapters: 07/xx
Author:
kiyoshiyuu
Genre: AU, fluff, eventually angsty
Warnings: muteness, manxman love, bad english
Rating: PG-13 to be sure
Pairings/Characters: ReitaxRuki
Disclaimer: the GazettE belong to themselves only. My imagination is mine though.
Synopsis: He found the blog’s title so typically Ruki, so desperate yet so full of hope.
Comments: This is completely AU. Many things are totally made up or only half true, but after all this is fiction :D
chapter 01 | chapter 02 | chapter 03 | chapter 04 | chapter 05
chapter 06 | chapter 07 | chapter 08
13.01.2008 @ 19.45
Title: it's okay ...
Thanks for the concern of some of you, but I'm alright.
Some of you might think "What's he complaining about ? He should be happy to now Reita !"
And yes, I am happy, I'm the luckiest person in the world.
I'm just wondering ... what would you do if you knew him ?
Would you go around, boasting with your acquaintance whenever you can, feeling like a better person ?
If yes, then I feel sorry for you ...
I don't feel better at all ... the inferiority to him only makes me feel miserable.
Sometimes I wish I had never met him ...
But then again
I love him.
[comments off]
--
The following day early in the morning, Ruki went home. At first he didn’t want to leave Reita’s apartment as he was too afraid the creep might still be lurking somewhere near the building. Ruki knew very well that this wasn't probable, but he was still scared when he stepped out of the block. However, also when Ruki looked for him behind every corner, no man was to be seen. He was relieved when he arrived at home safely after a quite train ride.
He unlocked the door, stepped inside, took off his shoes and threw his bag into a corner. He was still thinking about yesterday night when he was starting his laptop. He sighed. He wished Reita wouldn’t have hugged him. Or at least not under those circumstances. He knew now how it was, this warm, tingling feeling, and it was definitely addicting. Hugging Reita was the greatest experience he’d ever had in his entire life. He closed his eyes and let the scene once again play in his head, imagining Reita's arms around him, imagining Reita was actually there. He sighed again. It was only a nice dream.
When his laptop was finally running he quickly started the messenger, seeing that Reita was online. He wrote him.
“Ruki: Hey, here I am ... again .. hehe ...,” usually he didn’t have any troubles anymore writing Reita casually. The nervousness he had felt when he first spoke to Reita over messenger was long gone. Only sometimes he sensed an uncertainty he couldn't deny. Reita was seemingly relieved when he received Ruki’s message.
”Reita: I’m so glad you’re finally there ! Are you alright ?” Reita had seen before that his friend was quite anxious about going home alone, but Ruki had refused when Reita offered him to bring him home.
“Ruki: Yes, I’m alright. I’m letting it all out on my blog now (laugh).” He sent it and quickly wrote more. “Ruki: Hey, thank you so much for yesterday. You saved me ! And I’m so sorry for disturbing you so late at night. (sweat)” Ruki imagined Reita as the knight in shining armour that rescued him from a black, fire-spitting dragon ... and he was ... the princess that was crying for help. He immediately shook his head about that thought and giggled.
Reita: It’s okay, I’m glad I could help you ! Don’t want to imagine what could have happened ...” Neither did Ruki. “Reita: What’s that blog you’ve mentioned ?” Reita added. Oh dear God, Ruki hasn't just mentioned his blog !? He would never ... he didn’t ... but he had. The messenger window said clearly in black on white that he just told Reita that he would write about it in his blog. And now Reita was curious and Ruki didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t show Reita his journal. Ever ! There were things written in there he could have never revealed to him, things about him, things about his feelings towards him. He had also written that he met him often although Reita had asked him to keep it a secret at the beginning of their acquaintance.
However, he avoided further comments on this topic and hoped that Reita would forget about it again quickly.
--
Later that day they both had things to do. Ruki was very busy with translations lately and Reita was fulfilling the duties of a famous person by looking pretty for a photo shooting.
Ruki didn’t like how in his job the translations often drifted in all at the same time, so he was mostly busy for one week before he could finally rest again. Today was such a labouring day. Two pending translations plus one interview he actually didn’t want to attend but his boss had told him to come. So he went to the magazine’s building working on one translation for about an hour before going to the interview for another hour and after that returned to his office to work for about four more hours before his boss finally made an appearance.
“Matsumoto-san !” He exclaimed in a loud voice, making Ruki jerk. Shyly, he looked up from the screen and looked at his boss’ sweaty and red face. His boss had a stout body, almost no hair on his shiny head and he was breathing heavily all the time. Ruki felt a bit intimidated when that colossus stood in front of him in full size like that. He was so afraid that he had done something wrong. Maybe the readers complained about the quality of his translations ? Maybe they found mistakes or they couldn’t understand them or they were just bad. In any case a complaint would have been bad.
“Oh please, just don’t take away my translations ...” Ruki thought, frightened.
“Matsumoto-san, I want to congratulate you on that fabulous, that most splendid interview you and Saito-san did together with Reita ! Really, it’s ... it’s ... I can’t express how pleased I was when I read it ! Saito-san ensured me that it goes a great deal on your account, doesn’t it ?” There he made a short pause to ‘hear’ Ruki’s answer and when, of course, none came, he went on.
“I want you to prove to me that you’re really our man when it comes to Reita affairs,” he explained further. “I want you from now on to take part in every Reita interview he will be doing for our magazine in the future, have I made myself clear ?” He concluded with his mighty voice.
Ruki was puzzled at first. Then he realised what advantages the manager would derive from him. Ruki had seen it himself, Reita had never been as talkative before in an interview and he knew it was due to him being part of it. His boss probably realised this, too, and so he wanted Ruki to go and learn about many more of Reita’s secrets. Ruki wasn’t stupid. Of course he would do it, but he didn’t want to be the person who made Reita reveal things to the public he might regret later on. Ruki would be very, very careful on this matter.
He agreed to the deal, though. It would be a good chance to spend more time with Reita. Every second he could win with him was a good second.
The chance to spend some time with his star already came three days later. A new single meant a lot of work for Reita, he never had any break during such a time. This time Ruki was there to do a mini interview with Reita, he should also write some facts about the new single as a report for the magazine. His job was now to ask Reita things about it like “Why this type of music ?”, “What does the song mean to you ?”, “Where did you get the inspiration for the lyrics ?” etc.
Ruki had to go by train to the other end of the city for that whole thing. Reita was having a photo shooting for their magazine there. Ruki came to an old factory building which was over and over covered with graffiti, the windows were broken and dusty and some walls were already breaking apart. The only modern thing there were the cars, the cameras and the rest of the equipment that belonged to the photographing staff.
So this was what Reita’s world looked like, huh ? A touch of fame and glamour was hovering in the air.
At least Ruki thought so.
When he entered the factory's insides, where the shooting was actually taking place, Reita was just in the middle of being taken pictures of. He was in full dress and looked stunning, as always. Ruki just stood there for a while and gazed at him. He loved the way his hair was done, neatly put up as a mohawk, not the greasy one that punks would usually wear but one that looked like every single hair had been arranged with the greatest care and effort and none was out of shape.
As usually, Reita was wearing his nose-strap, concealing his pretty nose. Ruki tried to imagine his face without the nose-strap, but he just couldn’t. This person there was a complete stranger to him. This was not his friend Akira Suzuki. This was Reita, who was known in all parts of the world, who had thousands of fans, who was the dream guy of hundreds of girls (probably also boys as Ruki was no exception), who made music that melted the heart of all kinds of people, who couldn’t care less about that small existence of his.
The thought made Ruki really depressed again. He wished sometimes that there wouldn’t be any Reita. Sometimes he was so selfish to think that there should be only Akira who wasn’t famous at all, who was a normal person, whom he could have to him alone. He stared at the scenery for a little while more before he sat down somewhere, waiting for Reita to be finished. It was already in the evening and Ruki was really tired from all the work he had been doing earlier.
When Reita finally came over to him, now actually having a nose again, he smiled at him wryly.
“Hello sunshine, I’ve heard you wanted to ask me some questions ?” Reita grinned as self-confidently as always, making Ruki even more uncertain of himself. And that nickname ! Ruki hated it ! Whenever Reita would call him that - and Reita did it a lot lately - Ruki’s face would turn vermilion so that even a blind mole could have seen how madly he was blushing.
Yet he tried to act normally and quickly got over with the questions. They both just sat there on the floor, Ruki with his laptop on his lap, Reita to his right. Ruki was typing down questions and answers equally on his computer and hoped it would be over soon. The proximity he shared with Reita at the moment wasn’t exactly what made him feel any better.
What was like the worst thing ever though was that Reita came up with a great idea as soon as they were finished with the official part. He absolutely wanted to see where Ruki lived. He insisted on it.
“Please, let me come home with you ! It’s only fair ! You know where I live, so now it’s my turn to see where you are living. Please, I’ll also sleep on the couch !” Reita begged. Ruki looked at him rather disbelievingly. This was Akira now, wasn’t it ? Because he couldn’t imagine Reita begging him like this only to see his flat.
Reita, or Akira, did though and with success. Ruki had always been bad at turning Reita down. But there was no way he would let Reita sleep on the couch. Yet his bed was not that big and even Reita’s guest bed was softer and comfier than his own; his couch, however, was already broken and could by no means do justice to what Reita was used to.
But it was not only the small bed or the ugly couch that made Ruki very embarrassed. It was his whole flat in general. When they both stood in front of his door, Ruki trembled and almost couldn’t put the key in its hole, so nervous was he again. He was so ashamed of his flat that was merely one room, the kitchen was not even in a separate one, and the bathroom was just big enough to contain a shower, a sink and the toilet. It was not like Reita's bathroom with a huge bathtub, room enough to walk around in, and it had no nice wall tiles that were alternating from white to blue once in a while what applied a clean and modern touch to it. In comparison to Reita’s apartment, his flat was a mouse-hole.
Reita walked into it unconcernedly, obviously not noticing any of Ruki’s unreasonable thoughts and fears and looked around openly. Everything that was in there was neat and tidy, nothing was out of place. The place was overall something very uncommon to Reita but he thought it was absolutely lovely. He then noticed some posters of himself hanging on the wall and he smiled bitterly for a moment.
While Reita was taking a look around, Ruki installed his laptop because he had to send something from earlier in before he forgot to do that. He then urged Reita to sit down on the couch. He quickly took out his Locutor.
”I’m gonna prepare the bed for you. I’ll sleep on the couch,” He showed Reita the screen just as long that the other could finish reading and then hastily went to search for another blanket, leaving the other no time to protest. Reita frowned though.
"I don't have to be touched with velvet gloves," he thought to himself. He wouldn't have minded sleeping on the couch. It squeaked a bit when he moved, but other than that it was perfectly okay. But apparently Ruki must have known better.
He crossed his arms and began to stare at the table. "What’s that ?" he then wondered to himself, looking at the screen of Ruki's opened laptop that was standing in front of him.. There was a website open that showed a picture of him as a header and ...
He stole a glance over to Ruki before he investigated further. This made him really curious now. Ruki had his head currently buried in his wardrobe, looking for a blanket. Reita gave it a chance and looked closer at that site. It was a blog and it obviously belonged to Ruki. Reita grinned a little about Ruki’s screen name. “golden_spike_hell”.
He knew he shouldn’t have been doing this, sticking his nose in Ruki’s private stuff, but when he scrolled down a little, Ruki’s latest entry appeared and what struck his eyes immediately was his own name that appeared at least ten times in only one short paragraph. So Ruki was writing about him that much ? Reita got even more curious. Of course Ruki was a fan, but Reita was never able to make out any of the typical fan behaviour when Ruki was around.
He restrained himself from being any more nosy though and scrolled to the top again, leaving everything behind as he had found it. Just in that moment Ruki came back, holding a blanket in his hands, smiling at Reita. Reita was still staring at the screen. He found the blog’s title so typically Ruki, so desperate yet so full of hope.
“You are my voice”
“Am I now ?” Reita thought to himself, looking worried and contemplative.
Ruki would have shrieked if he was able to when he realised what Reita was staring at. He quickly threw the blanket on the floor and rushed to his laptop, having it closed in an instant.
Reita startled and looked at him questioningly. Ruki was just blushing and his heart raced madly. He hoped that Reita hadn’t seen anything but the header, what was already embarrassing enough. He caught his breath and sat down beside Reita. They were both just sitting there in silence for a while. Ruki couldn’t think of anything to ‘say’ at all and Reita didn’t seem to be very talkative all of a sudden. After a while though Reita started speaking.
“Ne, don’t you want to learn that ... sign language ? I mean with the hands and stuff,” he made strange movements with his hands what made Ruki chuckle. The blond shook his head and took the Locutor.
”I don’t think it would help me anything. I mean, there’s no one there who could understand me when I used sign language, right ? So why should I learn it ...” He gave the Locutor to Reita who read. He nodded his head. What Ruki said made sense.
“I’d learn it for you,” he said matter-of-factly, startling Ruki with his statement. Ruki just smiled and shook his head again. Reita wouldn’t do that.
“Hey, you don’t believe me ?” Reita had a playful hurt look on his face and poked Ruki in the stomach. Ruki had to giggle and poked back. Reita just smiled at the smaller one. Ruki immediately took his hand to himself again and felt a sudden pain stabbing his chest. Reita knew him very well by that time, he had noticed. He was so afraid that he might not have known Reita only half as well as Reita knew him.
When Reita was silent again Ruki thought that he was probably very tired or bored, so Ruki suggested that they should go to bed now. Reita agreed to that and some minutes later he was fast asleep on Ruki’s bed.
Ruki was lying on his couch, his face buried into the fabric of the old, shabby piece of furniture, the blanket pulled over his head, crying soundlessly.
--
A/N: I already finished this a while ago, completely forgot to post it, sorry ... I'm too busy with school atm, so you'll have to wait for an update for a while, sorry !! ^^
By the way, Golden Spike Hell is the name of Ruki's real blog XD
Sorry for not letting too much happen in this chapter >>
Chapters: 07/xx
Author:
kiyoshiyuu
Genre: AU, fluff, eventually angsty
Warnings: muteness, manxman love, bad english
Rating: PG-13 to be sure
Pairings/Characters: ReitaxRuki
Disclaimer: the GazettE belong to themselves only. My imagination is mine though.
Synopsis: He found the blog’s title so typically Ruki, so desperate yet so full of hope.
Comments: This is completely AU. Many things are totally made up or only half true, but after all this is fiction :D
chapter 01 | chapter 02 | chapter 03 | chapter 04 | chapter 05
chapter 06 | chapter 07 | chapter 08
13.01.2008 @ 19.45
Title: it's okay ...
Thanks for the concern of some of you, but I'm alright.
Some of you might think "What's he complaining about ? He should be happy to now Reita !"
And yes, I am happy, I'm the luckiest person in the world.
I'm just wondering ... what would you do if you knew him ?
Would you go around, boasting with your acquaintance whenever you can, feeling like a better person ?
If yes, then I feel sorry for you ...
I don't feel better at all ... the inferiority to him only makes me feel miserable.
Sometimes I wish I had never met him ...
But then again
I love him.
[comments off]
--
The following day early in the morning, Ruki went home. At first he didn’t want to leave Reita’s apartment as he was too afraid the creep might still be lurking somewhere near the building. Ruki knew very well that this wasn't probable, but he was still scared when he stepped out of the block. However, also when Ruki looked for him behind every corner, no man was to be seen. He was relieved when he arrived at home safely after a quite train ride.
He unlocked the door, stepped inside, took off his shoes and threw his bag into a corner. He was still thinking about yesterday night when he was starting his laptop. He sighed. He wished Reita wouldn’t have hugged him. Or at least not under those circumstances. He knew now how it was, this warm, tingling feeling, and it was definitely addicting. Hugging Reita was the greatest experience he’d ever had in his entire life. He closed his eyes and let the scene once again play in his head, imagining Reita's arms around him, imagining Reita was actually there. He sighed again. It was only a nice dream.
When his laptop was finally running he quickly started the messenger, seeing that Reita was online. He wrote him.
“Ruki: Hey, here I am ... again .. hehe ...,” usually he didn’t have any troubles anymore writing Reita casually. The nervousness he had felt when he first spoke to Reita over messenger was long gone. Only sometimes he sensed an uncertainty he couldn't deny. Reita was seemingly relieved when he received Ruki’s message.
”Reita: I’m so glad you’re finally there ! Are you alright ?” Reita had seen before that his friend was quite anxious about going home alone, but Ruki had refused when Reita offered him to bring him home.
“Ruki: Yes, I’m alright. I’m letting it all out on my blog now (laugh).” He sent it and quickly wrote more. “Ruki: Hey, thank you so much for yesterday. You saved me ! And I’m so sorry for disturbing you so late at night. (sweat)” Ruki imagined Reita as the knight in shining armour that rescued him from a black, fire-spitting dragon ... and he was ... the princess that was crying for help. He immediately shook his head about that thought and giggled.
Reita: It’s okay, I’m glad I could help you ! Don’t want to imagine what could have happened ...” Neither did Ruki. “Reita: What’s that blog you’ve mentioned ?” Reita added. Oh dear God, Ruki hasn't just mentioned his blog !? He would never ... he didn’t ... but he had. The messenger window said clearly in black on white that he just told Reita that he would write about it in his blog. And now Reita was curious and Ruki didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t show Reita his journal. Ever ! There were things written in there he could have never revealed to him, things about him, things about his feelings towards him. He had also written that he met him often although Reita had asked him to keep it a secret at the beginning of their acquaintance.
However, he avoided further comments on this topic and hoped that Reita would forget about it again quickly.
--
Later that day they both had things to do. Ruki was very busy with translations lately and Reita was fulfilling the duties of a famous person by looking pretty for a photo shooting.
Ruki didn’t like how in his job the translations often drifted in all at the same time, so he was mostly busy for one week before he could finally rest again. Today was such a labouring day. Two pending translations plus one interview he actually didn’t want to attend but his boss had told him to come. So he went to the magazine’s building working on one translation for about an hour before going to the interview for another hour and after that returned to his office to work for about four more hours before his boss finally made an appearance.
“Matsumoto-san !” He exclaimed in a loud voice, making Ruki jerk. Shyly, he looked up from the screen and looked at his boss’ sweaty and red face. His boss had a stout body, almost no hair on his shiny head and he was breathing heavily all the time. Ruki felt a bit intimidated when that colossus stood in front of him in full size like that. He was so afraid that he had done something wrong. Maybe the readers complained about the quality of his translations ? Maybe they found mistakes or they couldn’t understand them or they were just bad. In any case a complaint would have been bad.
“Oh please, just don’t take away my translations ...” Ruki thought, frightened.
“Matsumoto-san, I want to congratulate you on that fabulous, that most splendid interview you and Saito-san did together with Reita ! Really, it’s ... it’s ... I can’t express how pleased I was when I read it ! Saito-san ensured me that it goes a great deal on your account, doesn’t it ?” There he made a short pause to ‘hear’ Ruki’s answer and when, of course, none came, he went on.
“I want you to prove to me that you’re really our man when it comes to Reita affairs,” he explained further. “I want you from now on to take part in every Reita interview he will be doing for our magazine in the future, have I made myself clear ?” He concluded with his mighty voice.
Ruki was puzzled at first. Then he realised what advantages the manager would derive from him. Ruki had seen it himself, Reita had never been as talkative before in an interview and he knew it was due to him being part of it. His boss probably realised this, too, and so he wanted Ruki to go and learn about many more of Reita’s secrets. Ruki wasn’t stupid. Of course he would do it, but he didn’t want to be the person who made Reita reveal things to the public he might regret later on. Ruki would be very, very careful on this matter.
He agreed to the deal, though. It would be a good chance to spend more time with Reita. Every second he could win with him was a good second.
The chance to spend some time with his star already came three days later. A new single meant a lot of work for Reita, he never had any break during such a time. This time Ruki was there to do a mini interview with Reita, he should also write some facts about the new single as a report for the magazine. His job was now to ask Reita things about it like “Why this type of music ?”, “What does the song mean to you ?”, “Where did you get the inspiration for the lyrics ?” etc.
Ruki had to go by train to the other end of the city for that whole thing. Reita was having a photo shooting for their magazine there. Ruki came to an old factory building which was over and over covered with graffiti, the windows were broken and dusty and some walls were already breaking apart. The only modern thing there were the cars, the cameras and the rest of the equipment that belonged to the photographing staff.
So this was what Reita’s world looked like, huh ? A touch of fame and glamour was hovering in the air.
At least Ruki thought so.
When he entered the factory's insides, where the shooting was actually taking place, Reita was just in the middle of being taken pictures of. He was in full dress and looked stunning, as always. Ruki just stood there for a while and gazed at him. He loved the way his hair was done, neatly put up as a mohawk, not the greasy one that punks would usually wear but one that looked like every single hair had been arranged with the greatest care and effort and none was out of shape.
As usually, Reita was wearing his nose-strap, concealing his pretty nose. Ruki tried to imagine his face without the nose-strap, but he just couldn’t. This person there was a complete stranger to him. This was not his friend Akira Suzuki. This was Reita, who was known in all parts of the world, who had thousands of fans, who was the dream guy of hundreds of girls (probably also boys as Ruki was no exception), who made music that melted the heart of all kinds of people, who couldn’t care less about that small existence of his.
The thought made Ruki really depressed again. He wished sometimes that there wouldn’t be any Reita. Sometimes he was so selfish to think that there should be only Akira who wasn’t famous at all, who was a normal person, whom he could have to him alone. He stared at the scenery for a little while more before he sat down somewhere, waiting for Reita to be finished. It was already in the evening and Ruki was really tired from all the work he had been doing earlier.
When Reita finally came over to him, now actually having a nose again, he smiled at him wryly.
“Hello sunshine, I’ve heard you wanted to ask me some questions ?” Reita grinned as self-confidently as always, making Ruki even more uncertain of himself. And that nickname ! Ruki hated it ! Whenever Reita would call him that - and Reita did it a lot lately - Ruki’s face would turn vermilion so that even a blind mole could have seen how madly he was blushing.
Yet he tried to act normally and quickly got over with the questions. They both just sat there on the floor, Ruki with his laptop on his lap, Reita to his right. Ruki was typing down questions and answers equally on his computer and hoped it would be over soon. The proximity he shared with Reita at the moment wasn’t exactly what made him feel any better.
What was like the worst thing ever though was that Reita came up with a great idea as soon as they were finished with the official part. He absolutely wanted to see where Ruki lived. He insisted on it.
“Please, let me come home with you ! It’s only fair ! You know where I live, so now it’s my turn to see where you are living. Please, I’ll also sleep on the couch !” Reita begged. Ruki looked at him rather disbelievingly. This was Akira now, wasn’t it ? Because he couldn’t imagine Reita begging him like this only to see his flat.
Reita, or Akira, did though and with success. Ruki had always been bad at turning Reita down. But there was no way he would let Reita sleep on the couch. Yet his bed was not that big and even Reita’s guest bed was softer and comfier than his own; his couch, however, was already broken and could by no means do justice to what Reita was used to.
But it was not only the small bed or the ugly couch that made Ruki very embarrassed. It was his whole flat in general. When they both stood in front of his door, Ruki trembled and almost couldn’t put the key in its hole, so nervous was he again. He was so ashamed of his flat that was merely one room, the kitchen was not even in a separate one, and the bathroom was just big enough to contain a shower, a sink and the toilet. It was not like Reita's bathroom with a huge bathtub, room enough to walk around in, and it had no nice wall tiles that were alternating from white to blue once in a while what applied a clean and modern touch to it. In comparison to Reita’s apartment, his flat was a mouse-hole.
Reita walked into it unconcernedly, obviously not noticing any of Ruki’s unreasonable thoughts and fears and looked around openly. Everything that was in there was neat and tidy, nothing was out of place. The place was overall something very uncommon to Reita but he thought it was absolutely lovely. He then noticed some posters of himself hanging on the wall and he smiled bitterly for a moment.
While Reita was taking a look around, Ruki installed his laptop because he had to send something from earlier in before he forgot to do that. He then urged Reita to sit down on the couch. He quickly took out his Locutor.
”I’m gonna prepare the bed for you. I’ll sleep on the couch,” He showed Reita the screen just as long that the other could finish reading and then hastily went to search for another blanket, leaving the other no time to protest. Reita frowned though.
"I don't have to be touched with velvet gloves," he thought to himself. He wouldn't have minded sleeping on the couch. It squeaked a bit when he moved, but other than that it was perfectly okay. But apparently Ruki must have known better.
He crossed his arms and began to stare at the table. "What’s that ?" he then wondered to himself, looking at the screen of Ruki's opened laptop that was standing in front of him.. There was a website open that showed a picture of him as a header and ...
He stole a glance over to Ruki before he investigated further. This made him really curious now. Ruki had his head currently buried in his wardrobe, looking for a blanket. Reita gave it a chance and looked closer at that site. It was a blog and it obviously belonged to Ruki. Reita grinned a little about Ruki’s screen name. “golden_spike_hell”.
He knew he shouldn’t have been doing this, sticking his nose in Ruki’s private stuff, but when he scrolled down a little, Ruki’s latest entry appeared and what struck his eyes immediately was his own name that appeared at least ten times in only one short paragraph. So Ruki was writing about him that much ? Reita got even more curious. Of course Ruki was a fan, but Reita was never able to make out any of the typical fan behaviour when Ruki was around.
He restrained himself from being any more nosy though and scrolled to the top again, leaving everything behind as he had found it. Just in that moment Ruki came back, holding a blanket in his hands, smiling at Reita. Reita was still staring at the screen. He found the blog’s title so typically Ruki, so desperate yet so full of hope.
“You are my voice”
“Am I now ?” Reita thought to himself, looking worried and contemplative.
Ruki would have shrieked if he was able to when he realised what Reita was staring at. He quickly threw the blanket on the floor and rushed to his laptop, having it closed in an instant.
Reita startled and looked at him questioningly. Ruki was just blushing and his heart raced madly. He hoped that Reita hadn’t seen anything but the header, what was already embarrassing enough. He caught his breath and sat down beside Reita. They were both just sitting there in silence for a while. Ruki couldn’t think of anything to ‘say’ at all and Reita didn’t seem to be very talkative all of a sudden. After a while though Reita started speaking.
“Ne, don’t you want to learn that ... sign language ? I mean with the hands and stuff,” he made strange movements with his hands what made Ruki chuckle. The blond shook his head and took the Locutor.
”I don’t think it would help me anything. I mean, there’s no one there who could understand me when I used sign language, right ? So why should I learn it ...” He gave the Locutor to Reita who read. He nodded his head. What Ruki said made sense.
“I’d learn it for you,” he said matter-of-factly, startling Ruki with his statement. Ruki just smiled and shook his head again. Reita wouldn’t do that.
“Hey, you don’t believe me ?” Reita had a playful hurt look on his face and poked Ruki in the stomach. Ruki had to giggle and poked back. Reita just smiled at the smaller one. Ruki immediately took his hand to himself again and felt a sudden pain stabbing his chest. Reita knew him very well by that time, he had noticed. He was so afraid that he might not have known Reita only half as well as Reita knew him.
When Reita was silent again Ruki thought that he was probably very tired or bored, so Ruki suggested that they should go to bed now. Reita agreed to that and some minutes later he was fast asleep on Ruki’s bed.
Ruki was lying on his couch, his face buried into the fabric of the old, shabby piece of furniture, the blanket pulled over his head, crying soundlessly.
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A/N: I already finished this a while ago, completely forgot to post it, sorry ... I'm too busy with school atm, so you'll have to wait for an update for a while, sorry !! ^^
By the way, Golden Spike Hell is the name of Ruki's real blog XD
Sorry for not letting too much happen in this chapter >>