Under the Impression [[3/5]]
Title: Under The Impression
Author: dee_jayDJ
Rating: PG-13 for swearing~
Pairing: Zack/Alex, with mentions of Jack/Alex
Summary: As a forever toiled-over Alex reveals something private with Zack, his whole world is flipped over and he has to fight to make sense of what he used to believe was true.
Disclaimer: I do not own All Time Low, else Zack wouldn't be put through so much stress all the time ._.
Author Notes: Hokay, soooo.... Yeah, I know it's been weeks since I last updated with this fic, but I've been under soooo much stress and angsty shit. I'm already working on chapter 4, so nooo worries. ^^
Turns out? The quick rest stop was turning into an hour long repair of the bus. The almost too violent bump they’d hit before didn’t just injure the (precious) coffee pot; it also broke off a piece of the bus’ structure. They couldn’t accelerate at all, so once the bus stopped, it stayed. They were there for at least another hour before any sort of help could come.
At least Zack had his coffee now, he supposed. He always had been one for optimism. Lately… not as much. Not sitting at a table inside the rest stop building, decked out in a dark gray hoodie and sunglasses. There were teenage girls in there. He wasn’t taking any chances.
But even if he blacked out those sunglasses with fucking electrical tape, he wouldn’t be able to stop seeing the look on Alex’s face, sitting across the floor in a booth in the tiny fast food restaurant in the rest stop. Even if he wasn’t staring at the visible tracks of tears, yes, visible even that far away, the image was burned into his head. And he wanted to feel bad about it, he really did. He wanted to feel bad, and take it all back. But Zack had gone through so much… pain for Alex. It wasn’t so much that he deserved it, it was that Zack was still in pain. He didn’t think he could even move through the pain emanating from his chest.
Zack didn’t realize that he’d started spacing out. It wasn’t until a darkened image in his peripheral flitted some, snapping his eyes up and away from a crack in the filthy tan tiles to look at the place Alex was. Jack had now joined him, looking concerned, His arm was around the singer in a comforting manner. Alex’s lower lip was trembling slightly, like he was getting ready to explode, break down. Jack’s lips were moving, too. He was murmuring something to Alex, something Zack couldn’t hear with them being as far away as they were.
As infuriating as it was to be unable to hear, Zack didn’t know if he even wanted to.. The look on Alex’s face blew past crushed, not even stopping at distraught. Whatever Jack was saying, it wasn’t helping by any means. Zack could clearly see Jack’s lips form the words ‘I love you’ before Alex broke. He shoved Jack away from himself, standing up and backing away from the booth. He tripped over the edge of the table, speaking fervently. He turned toward the bathroom, throwing Zack a look that just screamed defeat. He wasn’t even trying to hide his tears.
He might as well have died on the spot. That look just managed to tell Zack, hey, maybe you should go kill yourself now. Stop hurting him so fucking badly. It looked like a pretty fucking good idea. Especially when Jack slowly made his way across the floor, to where Zack was sitting. He looked both confused and injured, like a puppy might his first time being scolded. He sat down gingerly next to Zack, his eyes weren’t even on the bassist, staring off blankly.
“He… he wouldn’t talk to me. He always talks to me. What did I do?” he breathed out quietly, leaning back in the seat and resting an arm across his chest.
Maybe he felt the pain there, too.
“What’s wrong with him?? Zack you… you talk to him a lot. You would tell me if you knew, right…?” Jack pleaded quietly, turning those wide brown eyes on the bassist. It was amazing how similar they were to Alex’s. Almost creepy.
“We…” He wanted to tell Jack that he wasn’t talking to Alex, but maybe that was a little suspicious. “Yeah, Jack I’d… I’d tell you, if I knew…” Zack murmured, trying unsuccessfully to mask the shame in his voice. He despised lying, and he was pretty bad at it to begin with. But Jack was obviously too upset with his own problems to really notice. Thank God.
“D’you think he’s gonna leave me…?” Jack murmured out, a hint of terror in his voice. Zack looked down at Jack through his sunglasses, offering him a weak, faint smile.
“No. I don’t think he’ll leave you. You... You two are perfect together.” Every word burned Zack’s throat, left a bad taste in his mouth. But he was still at least trying to be a good person. Trying to comfort Jack.
It worked, a little. Jack glanced up at Zack, looking hopeful. “Thanks, Zack. I’m… I’m gonna go find Matt and Rian… Maybe give Alex a little space.” Zack didn’t response, simply lifting his coffee to his lips with a terse nod. He couldn’t stand to lie again.
Jack, blissfully oblivious as always, didn’t notice Zack’s reluctance to speak, merely lifting himself up and slowly walking toward the entrance to the mini-arcade. Rian was, no doubt, attempting to win some cheesy claw-machine stuffed animal for Kara. He hoped, maybe a little, that it worked. Being on the road so much, when they finally got to go home, those two were inseparable. That was the only couple Zack didn’t really mind all that much. He’d been so used to them for so many years.
Instead of giving Alex space, like he probably should, Zack downed the last of his lukewarm coffee and stood, heading for the bathrooms. This definitely wasn’t his greatest idea, by any stretch of the imagination.
Despite the fact it was in the middle of the day, the rest stop wasn’t terribly crowded. So, consequently, neither was the bathroom. Meaning it wasn’t too hard to realize which stall Alex was sitting in. All he really had to do was listen for the quiet sniffling and muffled swears.
Alex always swore when he cried.
Not surprisingly, Alex had deposited himself firmly in the farthest stall from the door. From under the cheap, ugly green-colored stall door, Zack could see that he was sitting on the disgusting bathroom floor, curled up on himself.
Zack leaned lightly against the door, not bothering to try and open it. “Lex… Alex, I think we need to talk. Lex, I know you’re really upset with me right now, and you probably don’t even want to talk to me, but… Alex, I love you. And I can’t have some kind of false hope, because I’ll never stop loving you… I’ll…
“I’ll just go now.”