I can access LJ on my cool new phone. Now if I could only get myspace to work on this thing I could waste gobs of time anywhere.

Hey there boys and girls, listen up because this here is a cautionary tale ( Read more... )

answers to questions posted in a "listen to me whine because I'm white and sooooo misunderstood" bulletin.

Why is this?

"You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction. You call me "White Boy," "Cracker," "Honkey," "Whitey," or "Caveman" and that's OK."

yes, it IS okay... and funny!But when I call you "Nigger," "Towelhead," "Sand-nigger ( Read more... )

I thought maybe this time I could take oxycodone without puking. I've been taking them for a little over a week now along with some sort of anti-histamine that's supposed to control the nausea. I would usually feel all yucky in the stomach but that was it. Until tonight when out of nowhere I'm throwing up beef stew into my mouth whilst madly ( Read more... )

Yesterday as I was driving home from Mario's work in Everett I got pulled over on the freeway.  The cop was one of those cocky "Respect me, I have a gun" types.  He walks up to my car and asks me if I know what the speed limit is, which apparently I didn't ( Read more... )

I don't know what game the refs were watching because as far as I could tell it was Hawks 17 Steelers 14. Now I can't say I was keeping an eye on the game the whole time because I did have to work, but I got to see a robbed touchdown (how was that pass interference?)... a bullshit touchdown (if the ball goes over the line after you're down it ( Read more... )

Some advice for those of you that may think of picking up a six pack and putting it in your trunk. Don't. Or at least don't drive like you're on a race track like I do. With all the crazy corners and stopping short my beers got a bit too fizzy and leaked out of the bottle. It was kind of weird because all the bottles are still sealed but a ( Read more... )

Do any of you fucks snowboard or ski?

Polar bears and penguins live on oposite ends of the world from eachother. Please stop making commercials where they're hanging out, it's just stupid.
That is all.

It used to always bother me when I would see babies with snot all dried up on their noses.  Why don't their mothers wipe their noses?  I would puzzle over this.  Now that I have a runny nosed baby of my own I suddenly understand.  Babies, it turns out, hate having their noses wiped and yell at you for attempting such acts of hygene.  And even if ( Read more... )