I know this is stupid, but I sometimes worry I'm going to die. I know that I'm not going to. I know its just anxiety. But I feel so weak. I'm just so tired all the time. And when I'm not tired, I'm super wired. But my heart beats so fast all the time. I feel like I'm constantly having panic attacks. My chest is so tight and my heart beat is so hard ( Read more... )

I never realized how lonely it must be for every one else...

I can't believe its been a month... but I can't decide if its "already" or "only". I'm so dazed... Time has no meaning. Nothing has any meaning... I don't even know where to start.

Soo.. today is thursday. I got to Michigan Tuesday evening. Drew and I did Sobes at like 2am? on Tues and I haven't smoked since. I brought an eighth w/ me and haven't touched it. I think I'm doing okay. I haven't really been able to eat much, but I'm trying. I definately want to smoke, and sometimes I feel like I'm wound up like a slinky... but I' ( Read more... )

I saw a tractor trailer carrying a bunch of smashed up cars, like practically flattened from a machine or something. About half of them were brown. Ha. Brown is such an ugly color for a car. I don't think they even make cars in brown anymore. Oh brown cars...

"I left my job and isolated myself from friends. I couldn't sleep or eat, and I lost 30 pounds in less than two months. I started drinking a bottle of wine every night just to get to sleep. Luckily, my two best friends came over daily, made me breakfast, dressed me--they were my life support ( Read more... )

I am trapped in a life I hate.

I don't listen to a single word you say when you talk. I just respond enough so that you'll finish up what you're saying and hopefully leave. I am so over this.

I'll be out of this place soon enough. I hate Tallahassee.

I need to get laid.

I'm feeling especially loney this evening... I feel like I have no one right now...

I'm the greatest. No one else even comes close. Man, I'm so awesome I was like, AWESOME! And also I'm really gorgeous, and I think Kyle thinks so too. It's great ( Read more... )