Chapter Eleven -- The Bribe

[gehayi]

oblivionhold said she couldn't do all three chapters, so I'm doing Chapter 11, erastes is doing Chapter 12, and oblivionhold is doing Chapter 13.

In which Harry reads the newspaper repeatedly, Lupin sounds like Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation, Harry advises Lupin on his love life, Kreacher plays "bad cop," and the illogic becomes overwhelming.

Chapter Eleven -- The

Comments

[shyfoxling]

the next time that there is a Terminator movie, I want the android to spend the entire movie sitting on its arse reading the newspaper and, while waiting for someone else to do something, to wonder if the computer that designed it really loved it after all.

I LOLed.

Given that Albus was a redhead and that both Albus and Aberforth have blue eyes

Both of which traits are recessive (I think?), so maybe it's possible, but--

Either that or wizards don't have to obey Mendelian genetics, and that notion just makes my head hurt.

--I'm guessing they don't. The passing down of magic doesn't make any sense at all.

[smurasaki]

Yeah, the Dumbledore genetics are possible. The genetics of magic...not so much. At least not after this book. Until the whole Muggleborn registration crap, it was possible that the Wizarding World was just bad at figuring out genetics, after that, well, they'd have to be horribly incompetent at genetics. Which, I suppose is quite in character. -_-

[shyfoxling]

I figured the stuff in the book was DE-controlled Ministry propaganda, perhaps outright lies, just to give an excuse to whack Muggles and Muggleborns. But when JKR said in an interview that that was right, Muggleborns had to have Wizarding ancestry somewhere, then... ugh. That can't line up with the semi-randomness of it as already depicted.

[gehayi]

She really said something like that? See, I figured that the gene that created magic could spontaneously mutate and that's how it could wind up in Muggleborns.

[guardians_song]

*applauds* Your sporking PWNS the book.

"
“It’s mental, if you could steal magic there wouldn’t be any Squibs, would there?”

See, I'd think that if the Ministry was saying that magic could be stolen, they'd claim that the Squibs were the victims of that theft, and that the Ministry needed to work out how the Muggleborns had done it so that they could give the Squibs their magic back."

...You mean that they didn't actually... wow, my head-fanon overwrote canon, and I forgot that was never actually stated in-book. D:

Uh, how were the DEs able to know where Grimmauld Place was if they couldn't see it? *eyes cross* That's what REALLY boggles my mind. D:

[erastes]

Just so much wrong and brilliantly sporked!

[gehayi]

Thanks!

[minkhollow]

The 'mission from Glod' thing gave me the mental image of Ron and Harry trying to sneak a piano past a random Death Eater (perhaps Mister Brutal?).
Also: Good God, Kendra Dumbledore really could be Kendra the Vampire Slayer, from what I remember. Perhaps she didn't so much die as get time-warped? (For triple crossover fun, it was those stone angels from Doctor Who...)

And aren't house-elves supposed to be incapable of harming wizards directly?
Clearly, house elves aren't bound to the Three Laws of Robotics.

[octoberstorm]

Oh Remus. I've seen this chapter cited as "the bit that made me loathe Remus Lupin," so much it makes me want to roll my eyes. Thanks ever so much, fandom, for now deciding to side entirely with the woman in a fit of feminist pique. It's ridiculous. While Remus is written as soppily and stupidly as the rest of the characters in order to fulfill, to quote you, "the idiot plot" I don't really see here how he's being so horrible

[smurasaki]

I hated what was done to both Lupin and Tonks in this book. Whether or not their romance made sense (and I rather lean towards not), they could have made a good team. But, no, Lupin's suddenly a mess and Tonks is shuffled off screen because pregnancy makes women helpless. And then, of course, they're both killed off so that Harry can be a godparent. Grrr.

[octoberstorm]

Honestly, for the most part I really couldn't recognize anyone in this book, even Harry, who I had hopes for. Same with so many other characters.

Tonks, with her powers, position in the Ministry and Auror-training, could have been one of the key figures in the battling - except she had to get preggers and apparently turn into a bundle of defenseless hormones. Ugh. Between the past two books and the interviews following them, Rowling has given me a window to her brain and it is a terrifying, terrifying place.

[gehayi]

So wow. Remus is such a horrible person because he apparently is keeping Tonks under the illusion that their marriage is worth something and apparently is trying to make it work to a certain degree (and who knows? Maybe it's cold feet. It doesn't seem like he got a chance to have that prior to the wedding), is trying to rid the world of an irrevocably evil person and is suffering pangs of guilt because after being exposed to a lifetime of prejudice and misinformation, he has a wife and a child and can put them in danger not only socially, but physically, not only from him, but probably anyone in the wizarding world who felt they could get away with killing them.Exactly! Granted, I don't think that the marriage would work between Remus and Tonks as they have been warped into being in HBP and DH (though I'll consider that marriage between OotP Remus and OotP Tonks could have worked). But what the hell is wrong with Remus trying to defeat his world's ultimate evil and attempting to save the life of his wife and his child as well? At