The truth is I've been a little nonexistant to myself too. I don't quite know how to describe that in detail at all. I can't really describe any of what's happened to me in the past year. I guess that's why I don't write much anymore. I'm lost.

We're moving in a week to a much, much nicer apartment. I need to find a better job. Things have ( Read more... )

Thanks to everyone who has wished me a happy birthday so far and to all of those who will continue to do so. Remembering is the best present of all.

Well, except for the one that I bought myself. I went ahead and bought myself what I really wanted. Wish I had pictures, because then all of you little stoners would be jealous ( Read more... )

Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday dear meeeeee
Happy Birthday to me!

In case you didn't get the hint I happen to be turning 19 today.

One year to go until I'm not a teenager anymore.

I thought that the last thing that I could ever want on Christmas was to be this sick.

But the last thing that I wanted today was for you to fucking make me cry.

Sometimes I wish I'd never met you.
And ever since I've been sick you've neglected to take care of me.

I want to fucking punch a brick wall.

I hope that everyone that celebrates Christmas had a very merry one today (or are still in that process), and that those who don't celebrate Christmas are enjoying their own holiday season ( Read more... )

I'm fucking sick as hell. I've been running a fever all day. I couldn't go to work, which fucking sucks. And to top it all off Mike is fucking mad at me. Just what I fucking need. I already feel like I want to fucking die. Nothing has made me feel better all day. I can't even enjoy hitting a fucking bong ( Read more... )

So I quit smoking cigarettes on Friday. Who knew quitting could induce such nausea? Shit. I threw up at work today and got sent home. Funny thing was about 30 seconds post vomiting I had to help two customers. People expect you to help them when you're standing behind a customer service desk for some reason. Mike is quitting too. I never ( Read more... )

I am sick of your shit and everyone else's too. I'm sick of time. I'm sick of money. I'm sick of the words that are constantly battering my brain. I'm sick of pills and lies about second chances. I'm sick of the distance between myself and nearly all of what I hold dear ( Read more... )

Everytime I get online I'm reminded of everything that I've been forced to walk away from. It's not a good feeling ( Read more... )

Been journaling in my real journal a lot more lately. It makes me happy, but not satisfied ( Read more... )