Learn how to make eggs good, stupids!

[dave_littler]

Hey, dickweeds.

It's come to my attention that some of you - you know who you are - don't know how to make eggs good-like. I'm gonna kick the motherfucking shit out of your ignorance, though, and teach you what your parents should have taught you in order to keep you from growing up stupid and bad-egg-cooking.

Hold on to your asses, ass-holders,

Comments

[anonymous]

You had me up until you said to fry the eggs.

Like holy shit, what the fuck is wrong with you?

[dave_littler]

I said to scramble them, not fry them, you dirty dickbutt!

[voodooskeleton]

yeah who the fuck fries their eggs

[anonymous]

My point exactly!

Fried eggs are for dirty, filthy savages.

[nerdfury]

I just Twittered your cheddar-cheese-dick-slap line, it was so awesome.

Also, here's you telling me how to cook my goddamn eggs, and there's you using garlic powder instead of real garlic, margarine instead of goddamn butter and a thermal heated stove, instead of natural motherfucking gas flame, goddamn!

God damn.

Did you ever try my fettuccine boscaiola recipe?

[opium]

Despite being vegan...and being a raw vegan at that, this still looks dericious.

[dave_littler]

The forbidden fruit is all the sweeter in the eye of the beholder for being forbidden, I should think. :)

You should click on the "cooking" tag and check out my earlier recipe, "The Archduke Franz-Ferdinand" for a real challenge to your vegan values. Truly, it is the pinnacle of human cuisine.

[opium]

That one doesn't appeal to me much, actually. I think this does mostly because of the bits of onion and the cheese, and the BAGEL. I miss bread more than anything else.

[falconwarrior]

Bread is grain... grain is animals?

[hentaikid]

I had a fried egg on toast for breakfast just now.

I now feel disappointed in myself.

[sarieverna]

So the right half, then?