Letting a guy friend know I'm in a relationship

[nox_aurumque]

I've been friends with a guy, M, since The end of January/beginning of February. Honestly, this guy has gotten on my nerves more than he's been a good friend. He became very needy and dependent right out of the gate, and is very disrespectful of my privacy and personal space. I've also suspected that he has a crush on me even though he's made no

Comments

[i_love_freddie]

I don't think you should let him know. You don't owe him anything - personally I don't think you should have anything else to do with him. His behavior is very creepy.

[commabut]

No, I wouldn't tell M anything about your relationship. M is a disrespectful creep. You don't owe him anything, even if he does "like" you (which is not your fault or problem). Personally, I'd block M and any further contact I had with him would only be to tell him not to contact me again ever.

[taleofaredhead]

Yep.

[gorgeousg]

Why on earth WOULD you let him know?!

[nox_aurumque]

That's the same thing I thought, but my friend thinks that he might do something crazy if I just change my relationship status and go on with my life. She feels that me letting him know ahead of time will diffuse the situation, but I really don't see how it would be any different.

[gorgeousg]

If your friend is so worried, he/she can go tell M. It's not your problem. I think you should trust your feelings on this one for sure.

[topf]

Your friend there who told you to tell him seems kinda weird too. There's no good reason why you should tell that guy.

[bedesiderata]

I just don't see continuing to be friends with someone who invades your privacy like that. "It's just a joke" is no excuse. Constantly trying to break into your phone is outright disrespectful. Also, people make status updates as a joke. They don't change a whole bunch of pictures and settings. That's taking a 'joke' too far. Honestly, it sounds like you don't even like him, but you're just trying to be nice.

His crush on you is his problem not yours. You're a free agent, and you've made no agreements that would make you answerable to him. He is not in any way owed advance notice from you. It's not like you've been friends with him since childhood, or like you're even particularly close to him. There's no real reason to let him down gently. I agree that it would be kind of strange to give him a heads up under these circumstances.

[nox_aurumque]

You hit the nail on the head. I really don't like him at all, but I'm trying to keep the peace the best I can since we have a lot of mutual friends and I don't want to make things awkward for them. It's a struggle sometimes.

[ifihadforever]

I agree with the above and would like to add another thought. If you do give him advance notice, it's almost like you're making your friendship with him more than it is. It's almost justifying your closeness with him when in reality, you never dated and you're not even that great friends.

[scien]

I agree. Telling him in advance makes it sound like you think he has a right to know, you expect him to be upset, etc. I think it's likely to only make the situation worse not better.

[porcelain_ocean]

So I think everyone's agreed that you owe this guy nothing. Frankly if your friends think he needs to know, they can tell him.

If you really don't like him at all, stop answering his texts, be polite but brief with him at social gatherings, and get a few friends on your side to rescue you when he traps you in a corner.