Letting a guy friend know I'm in a relationship

[nox_aurumque]

I've been friends with a guy, M, since The end of January/beginning of February. Honestly, this guy has gotten on my nerves more than he's been a good friend. He became very needy and dependent right out of the gate, and is very disrespectful of my privacy and personal space. I've also suspected that he has a crush on me even though he's made no

Comments

[bedesiderata]

I just don't see continuing to be friends with someone who invades your privacy like that. "It's just a joke" is no excuse. Constantly trying to break into your phone is outright disrespectful. Also, people make status updates as a joke. They don't change a whole bunch of pictures and settings. That's taking a 'joke' too far. Honestly, it sounds like you don't even like him, but you're just trying to be nice.

His crush on you is his problem not yours. You're a free agent, and you've made no agreements that would make you answerable to him. He is not in any way owed advance notice from you. It's not like you've been friends with him since childhood, or like you're even particularly close to him. There's no real reason to let him down gently. I agree that it would be kind of strange to give him a heads up under these circumstances.

[nox_aurumque]

You hit the nail on the head. I really don't like him at all, but I'm trying to keep the peace the best I can since we have a lot of mutual friends and I don't want to make things awkward for them. It's a struggle sometimes.

[ifihadforever]

I agree with the above and would like to add another thought. If you do give him advance notice, it's almost like you're making your friendship with him more than it is. It's almost justifying your closeness with him when in reality, you never dated and you're not even that great friends.

[scien]

I agree. Telling him in advance makes it sound like you think he has a right to know, you expect him to be upset, etc. I think it's likely to only make the situation worse not better.

[estoid]

I also agree with this. It's almost like acknowledging something that isn't there. I'm worried it will fuel him.