Trigger warnings: suicide and depression ( Read more... )

There are things I do not do. I do not lie. I do not mislead. I do not threaten. I do not gaslight. I do not block people from communicating with me, even if I choose not to communicate with them ( Read more... )

When I first set out to compose this post, I expected it to be particularly difficult. After all, 2013 has been by far the worst year of my life. With the loss of half of a third of my family, depression, a suicide attempt, chronic insomnia, etc, etc, etc, what do I really have to be thankful for ( Read more... )

Today is National Coming Out Day, which seems as good a time as any, so here goes (in my usual long-winded, low-payoff fashion):

It's no secret that this year, and the last 4 months in particular, have been traumatic for me. Things are improving, though. Where I was drowning in depression before, I now seem to be merely wading in it ( Read more... )

I had a minor realization this morning that I think shines a new light on my current tribulations.

If you went back in time 6 years you'd find that I had a general sadness about me. It wasn't pervasive and all-encompassing, but it was clearly there. The reason was plain; my family had broken up. The Smoosh (as that incarnation was called): redheadlass, femetal, and ( Read more... )

I suck at giving up - on people, on relationships, on dreams. That's not a "boast in disguise". I've suffered mightily for it, and lately the people I love have also. But when, finally, the last bit of hope is taken away, I can still be an optimist about life in general and about the future in particular ( Read more... )

I've been thinking a lot about Phoenixes in the last 6 months or so, and in particular in the last month. While I was in the hospital recently I had a tiny revelation about them. This is one of those things that's so obvious that I think people miss the point ( Read more... )

(I'm cross posting this to the forum which inspired it.)A small portion of breakups are amicable. A rare few are even happy for all parties ( Read more... )

There's no other way to put it. This year has been hard. There have been problems I never would've anticipated a year ago, and others that had been brewing for some time have come to a head. I've come out of the past year with new scars, both outside and inside ( Read more... )

My work situation seems to be slowly improving, which is starting to give me a long overdue opportunity to actually have an existence beyond doing tech support and relationship triage ( Read more... )