I suck at giving up - on people, on relationships, on dreams. That's not a "boast in disguise". I've suffered mightily for it, and lately the people I love have also. But when, finally, the last bit of hope is taken away, I can still be an optimist about life in general and about the future in particular
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Good to see you back here, even if only briefly. LJ allows so much more in-depth thought/conversation than does Twitter. I'll admit Tw is so much easier though. :-P
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Sadder but wiser now (I hope), I'm an optimist again, though not in the same way I was before. I'd been letting life happen to me, deriving optimism from trust in the intentions, integrity, and kindness of those around me. That failed spectacularly, multiple times, and with ever-increasing consequences.
I'm trying not to let myself become jaded by the experience, but at the same time I'm shifting to a realization that partners (and people as a whole) are generally good, well-intentioned, and ethical, rather than depending upon a belief that they will always be so. I'm also getting back to a place where I'm the driver of my life instead of a passenger ( ... )
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Unfortunately, I don't think that this experience has made me stronger. Quite the opposite, actually. To carry your metaphor, I may now be built of better alloys, but metal fatigue has left me with permanent fragile points and stress fractures. I may be a kinder person when all is said and done, but I'm not a stronger one. Or a happier one.
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