Night 59: Men's Bathrooms (M41-M80)

[deadlyjuliet]

[from here]

Exquisite. There was no other way to describe being in a hall one moment and then suddenly appearing in the restroom in less time than it took the rest of the Institute to take a breath. This place was dark as always and Grell grinned as he realized it didn't matter this time. A death god's eyes, nearsighted as they might be, were

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[falseblack]

[From here.]

The thought sustained itself in the shifting environment. The recall of madness unraveled in the transition, and Nigredo pondered on why a beloved child would keep from tearing apart his sibling. A strange aspect to consider in an empty bathroom, but he supposed reasoning was a healthy part of life. It helped keep the extremes in check, at least, and he had resolved to balance in part. As Nigredo cleared each space from possible dangers, his mind moved.

The results settled in his stomach and churned in discomfort. There was truth in what Albedo had said: he would have destroyed Nigredo without hesitance if certain things had not been remembered. That had hurt, leaving the younger to react with empty laughter, but perhaps he had been wrong to focus. He couldn't fault another for a lapse in what was expected, and it remained that Albedo had tried. Was currently trying as opposed to burying him upon appearance

[purpletaint]

At the briefest stutter, Albedo's head whipped to the side to view Nigredo. And as the other started to fall forward, Albedo jolted and dove to reach him first, a hand slipping around his brother's waist as he cushioned him with his knees. There was blood soaking through already, and he lightly moved the material to view the wound. No, not fatal. It had not even broken ribs or exposed bone, but it was on thin skin and would bleed fiercely. He knew this in the way that he knew the lines from before--not of experience but of exposure.

In that self-same way, he angled his arm to mimic the wound and pressed firmly, then stared at Nigredo, eyes bright and unreadable. "Nigredo." A question. A command. A complete focus in this moment.

[falseblack]

There was a question here. A name called. A label considered to be unnecessary to a tool such as he, but to him, it was his name. Nigredo. Nigredo. It was perhaps the only thing that was truly his, and thus, the form that fled moved to accept.

The lids of his eyes trembled, and the boy looked as though he was trying to remember being awake. Someone was touching him, keeping the fire in his chest from pouring out its contents, even as he thought that someone should let it. He had lost something. He didn't think he could ever get it back.

So they should end it here, should they not?

Nigredo whimpered but did not move to open his eyes.

[purpletaint]

Attention was refined to a single point and he caught the fluttering lashes against cheeks, heard with a sharp clarity the quiet whimper. Albedo inhaled sharply, something denied with that sound. A portion of him wanted to shove his brother away and curl in a corner alone, but that was overwhelmed with force, beaten into pavement and left a mess there

[falseblack]

Yes, loss. Consuming and belligerent, the cause and the form of decay his soul had given to. How long had Nigredo been in this state? Thirteen days should not feel like years. The blood pooling at their feet need only be his own. What complaint did he have of loss? When there was always one who could claim to it more fiercely than he, what use did he have of lacking? He had moved in his own way, forcing his brothers at a distance as to not feel it

[purpletaint]

The reach in waveform was grasped in turn, and Albedo did not think to pull away, even now. It'd be too simple, really. At this point in time. To reach a bit further, rend what was soft and sweet, and tear Nigredo's psyche to shreds. Here, still, he felt that. Here, still, he also how easy that would be. Nigredo was already breaking--Albedo could ruin him with the smallest effort, a move and design and it would be over. It would be done

[falseblack]

One might have tried. Tugged and pulled at waveform and found it utterly immutable. Ingrained past awareness lay an infinite constant, immortal as another, living in spite of annihilation. The rot was his own. Any change to his soul was what he permitted, and he would have permitted this one's (or the other's) designs. One might had tried

jsdhf the slide into gay.........

[purpletaint]

Nigredo only watched him, and Albedo felt the pressure of that gaze. Not of the weight but of the allowance. Nigredo had said it, but in other ways. Even now, hadn't he? The transition of words said and unsaid came to this alone: Nigredo would not live but for Albedo's will

[falseblack]

It wasn't quite apathy. It was a step or two below indifference. The reaction he carried graced closer to resignation, and yet, Nigredo knew the unspoken understanding was wrong. Wanting death was never the correct method; he understood this better than anyone. It was simply unavoidable when it came to him. Nigredo was far from one who wished for cessation, the end of existence. This was a byproduct of who he was

[purpletaint]

For all points and purposes, Nigredo seemed almost at ease; apologetic and understanding of the scenario--the largest shown emotion disappointment. Any other would perhaps be relieved, assured by another's ability to shift to the situation. Yes. Any other. Albedo bypassed suspicion in a moment--that fact that his sibling was not fine was the single element of clarity. If one said they had no sin, they would be deceiving themselves--the truth would not be in them. Just as well here. There were facts but not truth, and Albedo knew the difference, knew the edge between them as well as the ways to reach between the particles of time and space.

And here, the little darling would give promises. Promises he'd likely break in a breath as he had here. For hadn't he promised to live?

But you understand that more than me, right? I would have let him.

Do you want to kill me that badly? I'll let you, if you want

[falseblack]

There were many paths Albedo could have taken. Multiple reactions he could gloss over, enough factors to bring to ruin. They were what they were, and he wouldn't be wrong to let promises pass with his own brand of acknowledgment. Nigredo wasn't lying, but he must be getting bothersome. He had dealt his cards--all lackluster and empty in the way of will. To others, this would have been sufficient, but of course, Albedo would have none of it.

Thus, the youngest hadn't a clue. And what had come (a question and a smile) was dead last in his expectations.

His mind knew the quote before he could place the origin. Green eyes widened in surprise, the smile dispersing, and he found himself stuck in repeats. Isn't it? To have bloodily approved the ancient truth. Nigredo recalled with perfect clarity; for it, he could place blame on the entity laced in the waveform pressed against his. There was a shift here, and he couldn't say he knew the reasons. {It

[purpletaint]

And here, Albedo was able to see Nigredo. As he was without any of the masks at the moment. And what should he find at the center but hesitant insecurities and disbelief? Albedo wouldn't have thought it but here it was--there was need here, need of a kind that he understood. That one's actions or lack thereof were fine, because if those were not fine, you were not fine. And that was something that must be true

[falseblack]

He would say there was nothing to forgive, but the deed had been done. Nigredo was absolved. The sin of his weakness released. He had foreseen none of the results, and in fact, the child had anticipated heavy resistance for being who he had become. Its absence, therefore, struck a chord, his heart beating faster than could be counted. He wondered if he wasn't missing as much as originally thought. Questioned if what was in front of him was the very thing sought for.

(He didn't know what he sought.)

It was uncharacteristic. It was unsuitable for an exemplary U.R.T.V., but Nigredo wanted to know--fiercely, as evident by the hand that fisted in his brother's shirt as the other adjusted. {Even if I make a mistake?} he questioned. {Even if I'm something you shouldn't protect?} When he was better off obliterated from their lives, would Albedo forgive him for existing?

Such an act would place Albedo in a different sphere than Rubedo, and Nigredo wished to see another become steady ground.

An affirmation to desperately keep.

[purpletaint]

Albedo halted in his movements, the want to shift and move dispersing at Nigredo's intent hold. His brother's eyes showing more emotion than Albedo had seen in days. Surprise skirted through the older Variant, showing clearly, then his expression softened. He leaned downward to repeat his action, lips pausing longer than before. Albedo shifted back, smiling at his brother. {I like you when you're open like this,} was the quiet thought, sincere and clear