Night 59: Men's Bathrooms (M41-M80)

[deadlyjuliet]

[from here]

Exquisite. There was no other way to describe being in a hall one moment and then suddenly appearing in the restroom in less time than it took the rest of the Institute to take a breath. This place was dark as always and Grell grinned as he realized it didn't matter this time. A death god's eyes, nearsighted as they might be, were

Comments

jsdhf the slide into gay.........

[purpletaint]

Nigredo only watched him, and Albedo felt the pressure of that gaze. Not of the weight but of the allowance. Nigredo had said it, but in other ways. Even now, hadn't he? The transition of words said and unsaid came to this alone: Nigredo would not live but for Albedo's will.

There was something empty in that, and there was loss somewhere deep within.

When Nigredo reached to touch, Albedo curled around his brother more. The arm supporting Nigredo came to grasp that hand--this putting them closer, inches between. The boy closed bright eyes, listening to what was said and unsaid both. Then moved Nigredo's hand to his lips, holding it there and breathing. As if having mortal brothers weren't enough.... One had decided to continue being suicidal as well.

Albedo's heart would break twice over at this rate.

He slid the hand to his cheek and held it there, then opened his eyes. "You can be however you are." The urge to break had lessened, a different one moving forward. To take care of. To protect. {You're weaker... And stronger in ways.... But regardless, Nigredo.} He blinked twice, the gave almost harshly. "I am here. You need to..." He looked briefly irritated at the choice of words, then continued. "Nigredo, call me. For anything. Whether it's an attack or if you feel poorly or if you're lonely." {I'll come to you.} Given more solidly than a promise. {I don't want you to be alone.}

[falseblack]

It wasn't quite apathy. It was a step or two below indifference. The reaction he carried graced closer to resignation, and yet, Nigredo knew the unspoken understanding was wrong. Wanting death was never the correct method; he understood this better than anyone. It was simply unavoidable when it came to him. Nigredo was far from one who wished for cessation, the end of existence. This was a byproduct of who he was.

And as much as he wanted to apologize for the fallacy, the child could not. Instead, he gently pressed fingertips against Albedo's cheek.

{I know.} Nigredo had known for some time now. Understood the willingness of his sibling to stay with him. {It was just bad timing. I was...} Caught off-guard, obviously. The fault of solitude, however, continued to lay with him, and Nigredo had nothing in excuses for that. {Tonight was discouraging. I really wanted to read with you.} Have some semblance of quality time, he supposed. {But maybe it was incorrect to expect nothing to happen in this place.}

Something within his chest constricted painfully. He sighed, pausing before twisting his lips in a strange smile. {Yeah. I'll do that. This won't happen again.}

[purpletaint]

For all points and purposes, Nigredo seemed almost at ease; apologetic and understanding of the scenario--the largest shown emotion disappointment. Any other would perhaps be relieved, assured by another's ability to shift to the situation. Yes. Any other. Albedo bypassed suspicion in a moment--that fact that his sibling was not fine was the single element of clarity. If one said they had no sin, they would be deceiving themselves--the truth would not be in them. Just as well here. There were facts but not truth, and Albedo knew the difference, knew the edge between them as well as the ways to reach between the particles of time and space.

And here, the little darling would give promises. Promises he'd likely break in a breath as he had here. For hadn't he promised to live?

But you understand that more than me, right? I would have let him.

Do you want to kill me that badly? I'll let you, if you want.

...Stupid. Stupid, idiotic child who was so happy to throw his existence away to the two guards of Hades. Still, nearly three weeks from that point and still, no-- Nigredo was not allowed rest. There were still two chained bullets, golden and dripping, to stain his path.

To say there was no sin would be disallowing truth, but how had it been spoken? That those sins would be forgiven or not, washed away in scarlet and snow. "Those who are forgiven little, love little." Ah, so that had changed. That aspect, extraordinary and not forgotten.

Nigredo had given him forgiveness and Albedo could offer his love. Here, it would hold and pause, and Albedo would let it. He breathed a quiet laugh against the air. "Kindred do commonly worse agree than remote strangers, isn't it?" He blinked at Nigredo, a light smile across his lips. There was loss there, irony and amusement and all of the things that made the entity's world go 'round. And yet there was care, soft and stable. Albedo closed the gap between them, merely inches away. "But you and I.... You're forgiven." Perhaps in this, perhaps he was as well. "And it's okay." He touched noses with his brother gently, then tilted downward to brush his lips against Nigredo's. Blood-covered both, and tainted one, and quietly breaking and broken in increments. At the moment, it was fine. In that moment, breath and beat alike, Albedo wouldn't have it any other way.

[falseblack]

There were many paths Albedo could have taken. Multiple reactions he could gloss over, enough factors to bring to ruin. They were what they were, and he wouldn't be wrong to let promises pass with his own brand of acknowledgment. Nigredo wasn't lying, but he must be getting bothersome. He had dealt his cards--all lackluster and empty in the way of will. To others, this would have been sufficient, but of course, Albedo would have none of it.

Thus, the youngest hadn't a clue. And what had come (a question and a smile) was dead last in his expectations.

His mind knew the quote before he could place the origin. Green eyes widened in surprise, the smile dispersing, and he found himself stuck in repeats. Isn't it? To have bloodily approved the ancient truth. Nigredo recalled with perfect clarity; for it, he could place blame on the entity laced in the waveform pressed against his. There was a shift here, and he couldn't say he knew the reasons. {It...}

It would be forgiven, his weakness. Albedo would touch him as though wanted, a mimicry of another night. He inhaled sharply as his reasoning diminished, and the child wasn't sure on its reality. {It is?} His expression crumbled. {I broke my promise. You know...} What you killed. It could not be so simple as that.

{You would forgive that so quickly?} It couldn't be so straightforward.

[purpletaint]

And here, Albedo was able to see Nigredo. As he was without any of the masks at the moment. And what should he find at the center but hesitant insecurities and disbelief? Albedo wouldn't have thought it but here it was--there was need here, need of a kind that he understood. That one's actions or lack thereof were fine, because if those were not fine, you were not fine. And that was something that must be true.

Little by little, it was becoming apparent. Piece by piece, Albedo was becoming what Nigredo needed.

But not quite yet.

Albedo sighed and leaned back, shifting the arm against Nigredo to see. It had slowed to clot but that would ruin when he lifted his arm away. Still. He looked at Nigredo through half-lidded eyes, smiling secretively. "Forgive you so quickly?" he repeated casually. "There's nothing to forgive." There was anger probably, somewhere, enough to raise his hand against Nigredo at a later time, but that had vanished with this reaction. Nigredo had risked himself, but he wouldn't again. There was faith there, solid and sharp.

{You broke your promise,} he agreed calmly, smiling, as he made clear his thoughts. {But you won't again. You'll call me, and I'll come to you. So you're forgiven, dear one.}

[falseblack]

He would say there was nothing to forgive, but the deed had been done. Nigredo was absolved. The sin of his weakness released. He had foreseen none of the results, and in fact, the child had anticipated heavy resistance for being who he had become. Its absence, therefore, struck a chord, his heart beating faster than could be counted. He wondered if he wasn't missing as much as originally thought. Questioned if what was in front of him was the very thing sought for.

(He didn't know what he sought.)

It was uncharacteristic. It was unsuitable for an exemplary U.R.T.V., but Nigredo wanted to know--fiercely, as evident by the hand that fisted in his brother's shirt as the other adjusted. {Even if I make a mistake?} he questioned. {Even if I'm something you shouldn't protect?} When he was better off obliterated from their lives, would Albedo forgive him for existing?

Such an act would place Albedo in a different sphere than Rubedo, and Nigredo wished to see another become steady ground.

An affirmation to desperately keep.

[purpletaint]

Albedo halted in his movements, the want to shift and move dispersing at Nigredo's intent hold. His brother's eyes showing more emotion than Albedo had seen in days. Surprise skirted through the older Variant, showing clearly, then his expression softened. He leaned downward to repeat his action, lips pausing longer than before. Albedo shifted back, smiling at his brother. {I like you when you're open like this,} was the quiet thought, sincere and clear.

But there were things to answer, weren't there? Things Nigredo needed, and Albedo wouldn't withhold. Especially when it seemed Nigredo had completely misunderstood. {You'll make mistakes,} he gave quietly. {I'll make them, too; more than you.} This given with a wry smile, and a subtle shine of color to his eyes. Albedo's mistakes would be both accident and not, and he would hold to them all the same. As for the other point....

Albedo was quiet. Then he spoke unabashedly, tone level and lacking melody. "I did protect you, Nigredo. You are what I will protect." What needed to be protected, whether his brother realized it or not. {I care for you.} I love you. {And I should protect you.} He held his brother's eyes, then continued. "There's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing for me to shun or push aside."

{It's fine.}