. . . when the film in your camera doesn't load correctly and you're left with only ten good pictures out of the original thirty-six . . . .

Last night, I had a dream about evil shampoo bottles who were trying to take over the world.

Meaning: The Eternal Quivering Question of Life

Wouldn't that make a good title for an essay?

The best thing to shop for is a mattress. Because then, you could take a nap and call it research.

This is a continuation of The Life and Opinions of the Quietly Chirping Bird (see blog post below).

"So the bird continued to chirp quietly, until the Sun had come out (wearing her new sun dress). The bird complimented the Sun's new sun dress and noted that the lovely purple floral print really brought out her eyes. The bird's compliment, however, ( Read more... )

So have you heard the one about  h   wo    ys wh                       and     ey  wal     int     a ba            . One      "He  he                bul        blee      sh w       !"

So funny . . . . Gets me every time!

50% of what I say is completely useless. The other 50% is nothing but lies. And the last 50% is comprised of deep, philosophical thoughts.

Patricia the Grapefruit was a very nice grapefruit. Responsible and kind, she would sit with the other grapefruits in the grocery store, patiently waiting to picked. I remember how she would spritz herself with perfume to make herself smell tastier--and her skin! She loved her shiny yellow skin. And she never went anywhere without her purple ( Read more... )

My tooth kind of hurts. My tooth never kind of hurts. Should I worry about this?

I'm in a rather creative mood at the moment, and I have the desire to write something, anything--something with beautifully crafted metaphors and breathtaking diction. Something lyrical. Something that feels like a movie with no music. Something classic like Crime and Punishment, but with the humor of P.G. Wodehouse. It would be long too, like The ( Read more... )