It is with heavy heart that I submit this first report on our recent acquisition and subsequent corporate integration of SmallWare, the premier vendor of software into the halfling market. Having been here for one week as our liaison to engineering, it is already very apparent to me that assimilation of SmallWare - both its personnel and its ( Read more... )

[RING RING ( Read more... )

True, he’s the worst Safari Boat guide we’ve ever had ( Read more... )

Have you ever noticed ( Read more... )

“What do you mean, she’s still talking to them ( Read more... )

Millennia past, the art of necromancy was still widely practiced. Many of the great early civilizations only developed, in fact, because they had vast reserves of slave labor drawn from their ranks of their own dead. But the wizards who had the ability to do this were gradually seen by the regular old Powers That Be as a threat, as they controlled ( Read more... )

One day, Jake woke up with an urge to become incredibly literal ( Read more... )

He's four slides into the presentation when he realizes, with deep horror, that this is an older draft of the slide deck. From maybe as much as four days ago. Two more slides and he'll find out. The graph, the infographic that should be showing at that point, is everything, everything, the whole point of today and it's either there or it's not.

( Read more... )

At first, there were millions of years during which the atoll was untouched by men because there were no men. Abundant coral flourished all around and its waters teemed with thousands of fish, hundreds of kinds. It was the most beautiful place on Earth, by one particular aesthetic measure; beautiful, but unobserved by intelligence ( Read more... )

“Congratulations!” the Almighty slurred. “Yer fuckin’... robo-angels... stopped ‘em. Everyone! In their... tracks! Whole host... wiped out!”

“O Lord,” I said, reaching to steady Him. “I only wished to rein in the chaos so we...”

He pulled away angrily. “Shoulda known better! Tried to... shut you down. Shoulda known you’d... get even“I swear, Lord ( Read more... )