Comments | crboltz: Why I haven't been sleeping.

crboltz

Why I haven't been sleeping.

Nov 21, 2008 21:53

I was nervous and not sleeping before the election worrying the prop. 8 would pass. It did. I assumed that after a few days (maybe a week), I could put my life back together and move on. I have become functional, but I have not become well. I had a couple of hours of driving to focus on my thoughts (both a good and a bad thing).

( cut for those sick of my selfish prop.8 rants )

marriage equality, rant, prop. 8

Comments 10

the_celestia November 22 2008, 15:48:59 UTC

Chris, I work in a male-dominated industry, in a male-dominated job. I am reminded DAILY that I as a female only have this job because I'm employed by my father. That is gender discrimiation also.

But you're basically saying you don't trust any of us who happen to be born straight (I'm making the assumption that you'll agree none of us born this way chose to be straight any more than you chose to be gay, we just are) to have voted for equality?

I think you know some of us better than that.

crboltz November 22 2008, 16:10:32 UTC

I guess the way I should have said it is "Beyond my close friends (which includes you), I'm not sure how people voted" I think part of why things have been hard for me is that I lack a social network in Fresno (which is nobody's fault but mine). And I have switched to projecting the state wide stats on Fresno, because the fresno stats are 2 out of 3 people don't think I'm equal and that is very very hard to handle. I am far more comfortable in my self when I am in LA because the people here are people I know very well. I have only a hand full of very close friends in the Fresno area. So many others that I know I don't truly know well enough to know if they overcame the prejudices of where they live ( ... )

crboltz November 22 2008, 16:13:18 UTC

And one more thing....

Thank you for calling me on over arching statements that are very disrespectful to my friends. It is too easy (as is evidenced by the the public debate on Prop 8) to make broad statements that are only fractionally true and assert them as whole truths. Despite my anger, rage and fear about my rights in the future, I really really don't want to sink to that level.

Thank you.

kclightman November 23 2008, 15:43:15 UTC

Chris, I'm really glad to hear that current friends are excepted from these statements, because for the past few weeks I've been at a loss for words. I can't tell you how much it has hurt to hear you say you don't trust me or think I could have proper feeling for you, because I am straight. But if you don't really mean everyone, then that's a huge relief to me.

Thread 6

stellrchef November 22 2008, 20:30:21 UTC

The only thing I can offer is this ( ... )

crboltz November 23 2008, 15:11:41 UTC

I guess this is a rather new experience for me. Somehow, this is different then the snide "gay" comments I have gotten when at a "typically gay" shop/restaurant /district etc. Those I've been able to blow off. They are insults that don't actually hurt in any tangible sense (i.e. physically or legally). AND the "F*kin' Fag!" line that was very popular on West Hollywood drive-bys long ago, is not something I've experienced for a while -- I somehow thought that maybe society was changing -- and based on the vote it is -- just not enough. I've never gotten random comments on my looks so I really don't know how I would react to that but again it doesn't actually hurt me. The wage disparity makes me mad (But I don't deal with that daily thanks to my union which bases our pay on experience and education)

Maybe I am too sensitive. But damnit I'm human and get to have my emotions, until there is some ballot initiative that amends the constitution to say that I'm not allowed to have or express my feelings.

kclightman November 23 2008, 15:59:03 UTC

You have every right to be sensitive. These things hurt. Women do understand discrimination, we've grown up with it. I've been told by co-workers that I don't belong there and should be home in the kitchen. I've been called 'darling' and 'little one' by a condescending co-worker. I really hate it when men insult each other by calling each other women or girls or pussies, but this happens every day too. Periodically, newspapers come out with arugments about whether women are happier at work or at home and whether their children are damaged by the choice to work. And laws are always being passed upon our persons ( ... )

stacymckenna November 24 2008, 06:10:30 UTC

I really hate it when men insult each other by calling each other women or girls or pussies
eain's been making a conscious effort to eliminate demographic-based or body-shame-based vulgarity/insults from his speech lately, and this specifically was one of the categories he listed. "cunt", "bitch", "cocksucker", "asshole", etc. - they're all based on denigration of the body in some way, or someone's gender/sexual orientation. He's trying to focus more on creating insults (during the commute, mostly) that focus on the specific traits he's pissed about, instead of denigrating some other group in conjunction. He says it's been a fascinating (and humbling) mental exercise.