I'm officially terminated as of today. Basically they were just jerking me around for a few days, or something. Kenneth didn't call me back like he said he would, which was par for the course. I had to call for the second time. I'm going in on Monday to pick up all my related paperwork, and maybe flip off Angela, at the very least. Professionalism' ( Read more... )

I go to work as usual on Monday. I get on Lane 3 for about 5 seconds after getting there and Kenneth, the Assistant Store Director, says he wants to talk to me upstairs. This is never good news so I try to figure out what is going on and he won't tell me. We go into the Manager's Office and he closes the door. There is a strange looking little man ( Read more... )

Sinus infection? yes/no
Boyfriend breaks up with you after calling you a "distraction"? yes/no
Were you that invested anyway? yes/no
Ds in all your classes except the one you never went to where you, oddly enough, made a C? yes/no
Having to retake yet another semester of your major-related classes? yes/no
Was it because your teacher dislikes you for ( Read more... )

No more mistakes. I am taking a bye on these last two weeks of sleeping through my government class or, conversely, not being able to sleep to the point where I need a whole day off. I need to get my shit together or I won't be out of here in one more semester. I think it might be time to stop working so much

On my way back from buying cigarettes a deer jumped out in front of my car, rolled up the windshield, fell off, and ran off into the woods
Not even five seconds after starting the car back up a raccoon heads straight for under my tires
Basically I am the worst person ever

While we were out at school/work on Friday The Couch Tranny totally took pictures of her girl-weiner while posed on our sofa ( Read more... )

This transgender kid is going to be moving into my house for a little while. I'm not entirely sure what I think about that. Not the transgender part, but the random person living in my home. His/her (I am still not sure of the terminology, and I am not making an attempt to be insensitive but I suppose I will have to ask him/her first) name is ( Read more... )

In my friend's bathroom, there was a velvet painting of the Pink Panther taking a shit, smoking a cigarette and looking generally upset. Toilet paper was strewn in a haphazard fashion around his paws. Needless to say it caught me off guard ( Read more... )

Pushing carts in 100 degree heat, crochety old ladies, working for nine hours on three hours of sleep: these things are all acceptable. What is not acceptable, is 80s Powerballad Day on the in-store radio

"Hey so what I think we should do is spend two hundred dollars on some carparts that don't actually fix the car. Then let's eat too much. If you want a three for three, we could get really sloppy drunk on cheap champagne later and end up telling people embarrassing personal stories."
"Thanks, myself. Those all seem like really good ideas. Make it